The hell called acquisition



  • Hi all,

    I recently graduated from university, and started looking for jobs. I posted my CV for one job opening I found online; turned out to be a front for some acquisition company. As I'm new to this, I didn't know I should've run away immediately (actually, perhaps it's just this one company).
    Now, the matched jobs are terrible (except for the one I actually posted my CV for). One interview went surprisingly well because - as it turns out - they had other vacancies than the one they sent me.

    But one job posting had something... interesting in it. Now, this is written up by the acquisition company, such that all references to the actual company's name can be removed. Translated, the posting read (maybe worded a bit nicer originally in my languages, Dutch):
    "Besides development of software part of the job is integration of electronics and mechanics, also called Multithreated[sic] software."

    I actually went to the interview even though I doubted it was a fit, and it turned out it wasn't (from both sides). After some honest conversation afterwards I asked them about this term; maybe it was some obscure jargon I hadn't heard about. Nope, turned out they had never heard about it either.
    So not only is the term misspelled, but it's used in completely the wrong context.

    Yeah, I should've run... But now I'm stuck with two more job openings that are actually very interesting...



  • @Evo said in The hell called acquisition:

    integration of electronics and mechanics

    That's generally called "mechatronics', possibly what they meant to put.

    @Evo said in The hell called acquisition:

    Multithreated[sic] software

    They way some people go about synchronisation they might not be wrong :)



  • @Evo That's what happens when companies use recruitment agencies that don't have a bloody clue. While I may be a PHP developer (Jesus died for my sins), I'm constantly getting bombarded by e-mails about front end development jobs (mostly things like node.js, angular, etc) and I've had several recruiters reply to my polite rejections of "Sorry, I'm not a front end developer" with "but you are a developer". Yes, yes I am. But you're an idiot who can't read and doesn't understand web technology that you're hiring for (and also ignored my "Do not contact" flag on LinkedIn)


  • BINNED

    @thegoryone I had a Linkedin message from a recruiter the other day saying I was a perfect match for a position they had before listing a load of technologies completely unrelated to anything on my profile.



  • @Jaloopa Bonus points if it was for a different country. I've had London, Barcelona, Sydney and Amsterdam recently - I'm just outside Belfast.



  • @Evo As general rule, don't go to interview for companies which use technical terms in strange ways. This is because either the one responsible for hire don't know what's going on, or the "will-be colleagues" will have high probability of not knowing what's going on.

    Either way you'll want to run, fast!



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Evo That's what happens when companies use recruitment agencies that don't have a bloody clue. While I may be a PHP developer (Jesus died for my sins), I'm constantly getting bombarded by e-mails about front end development jobs (mostly things like node.js, angular, etc) and I've had several recruiters reply to my polite rejections of "Sorry, I'm not a front end developer" with "but you are a developer". Yes, yes I am. But you're an idiot who can't read and doesn't understand web technology that you're hiring for (and also ignored my "Do not contact" flag on LinkedIn)

    Actually, the company didn't use a recruitment agency. The recruitment agency contacted them with my CV, unsolicited.

    As I said, I'm going to give two companies a chance because they sound interesting and I won't have anything to do with the agency anymore once I work there (I guess/hope).



  • @Evo That's even worse, very unprofessional (assuming you hadn't asked them - if you'd just handed your CV over and said "Find me a job", well, then, fair enough)



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Jaloopa Bonus points if it was for a different country. I've had London, Barcelona, Sydney and Amsterdam recently - I'm just outside Belfast.

    I shall resist the temptation to start a debate about whether London and Belfast are in the same country. Really, I shall.

    Oops.


  • SockDev



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Evo That's even worse, very unprofessional (assuming you hadn't asked them - if you'd just handed your CV over and said "Find me a job", well, then, fair enough)

    Nope, didn't ask them. They were just like: maybe you find these jobs interesting, after they happened to receive my CV for a specific job opening they posted (I had no idea they weren't the actual company). To be honest, they didn't really fit right mostly either, but I've always had trouble saying "no"... Then again, one of them turned out to be a lot more interesting than I expected, as they had vacancies that fitted a lot better.



  • @Jaloopa said in The hell called acquisition:

    @thegoryone I had a Linkedin message from a recruiter the other day saying I was a perfect match for a position they had before listing a load of technologies completely unrelated to anything on my profile.

    All the frickin time. I don't even bother responding anymore. deletedeletedelete.



  • @Steve_The_Cynic Well, they are according to both London and Dublin. Whether or not they will be in another 10 years is something else entirely. This whole Brexit thing legitimately has the Unionist in me strongly considering an all-Ireland yes vote.


  • BINNED

    @dcon Yeah, the only recruiter messages I've replied to since getting my current job was the one who emailed me at my work address, to which I replied

    I don’t know how you got this address but I would appreciate not being sent recruitment messages to my work email.

    I started this job in January, so am not currently looking and don’t expect to be for some time.

    And, to the other person from the same company a week later

    I will copy what I said to your colleague when he sent me the same spec

    I don’t know how you got this address, which is not publicised anywhere to the best of my knowledge, but I would appreciate not being sent recruitment messages to my work email.

    I started this job in January, so am not currently looking and don’t expect to be for some time.



  • @dcon I try to be polite

    0_1471442952727_upload-27628de3-e4fc-4d2c-9192-dd9bb85932e3

    Most of the time. Politely scathing.

    0_1471443089119_upload-6a637ea4-4413-4713-a6a2-4dce4dfff6f3

    That, and fuck off sending me requests about short-term contract jobs when I've clearly been working for one employer for 5 years - why the fuck would I leave a permanent job for a 3 month contract? Idiots.


  • SockDev

    @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    why the fuck would I leave a permanent job for a 3 month contract?

    they literally don't care, they just want their commission for filling the vacancy. they don't care if you get shitcanned in a day, they made their comission by then.

    that's why they prefer short term contracts. because then you'll be available to sell again in just three short months.



  • @accalia I feel like a Tesco Value steak


  • SockDev

    @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @accalia I feel like a Tesco Value steak

    yeah. dealing with recruiters will do that to you.



  • @Jaloopa said in The hell called acquisition:

    completely unrelated to anything on my profile.

    Could be worse; I've had recruiters email about jobs in completely different fields: Financial controller, truck driver, nurse practitioner .


  • BINNED

    @HardwareGeek I get teacher occasionally, but that's got to be based on a keyword search since I mention my incomplete teacher training on my CV



  • @HardwareGeek said in The hell called acquisition:

    truck driver, nurse practitioner

    I can see how people find them similar



  • @accalia said in The hell called acquisition:

    they don't care if you get shitcanned in a day, they made their comission by then.

    That depends. If they're just a headhunter, yeah, take the commission and run. If, however, they're a consulting/outsourcing/contingent worker company, they get a (big) portion of the billing rate, so they have more incentive to provide a worker who will be there for the length of the contract. They spend a lot of time and effort, probably in competition with other consulting agencies, with no guarantee of payback, to get you into the client; the payback comes if they can bill for your time. They get continuing revenue for no effort (other than billing and payroll) as long as you are working there, but they stop getting money for nothing if you leave, and they have to go back to expending time and effort to find more candidates. Therefore, they do care whether you stay.



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    I try to be polite

    I used to. No more. Too much of my time would be wasted.


  • :belt_onion:

    @dcon

    Last recruiter email I received, they wanted someone that with HTML & CSS proficiency. But the listed pay rate was $10/hour (USD). I can only guess that either they typoed the pay rate, or the job was actually to simply copy & paste static HTML & CSS from one file into another.



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Steve_The_Cynic Well, they are according to both London and Dublin. Whether or not they will be in another 10 years is something else entirely. This whole Brexit thing legitimately has the Unionist in me strongly considering an all-Ireland yes vote.

    Whereas I'd vote "yes" if the referendum was for England to become part of France. (Seeing as how that way I could avoid all the French naturalisation bureaucracy(1)...) (And also to spite the morons that I am ashamed - for various reasons, not all related to Brexit - to call my countrymen.)

    (1) I'm no great fan of bureaucracy in any country, and French bureaucrats are notorious for being obnoxiously obstructive, although the reality does not always live up (down?) to the reputation.



  • Recruiters don't know what any of those terms mean, they're stupid. True, not understanding obscure industry-specific jargon doesn't make one stupid, but when one's entire job is to connect people who use obscure jargon with people who know obscure jargon I can't think of any better word than stupid to describe every single one of them.

    Disclaimer: I have never had a positive interaction with a recruiter; I hate them and everything about what they do.



  • @accalia said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Cursorkeys said in The hell called acquisition:

    mechatronics

    0_1471433174835_upload-458105c3-2c70-4a1b-8c25-db08c6420e31

    :fa_question:

    Get in the fucking robot, Shinji!



  • @Evo said in The hell called acquisition:

    some acquisition company

    I feel like I'm missing something here. What's an "acquisition company?" Ferengi? Holding company (based on mergers and acquisitions)? Why is it "hell?"


  • Impossible Mission - B

    @boomzilla From the context, apparently what we call "placement agency" or "recruiter" here in the US.



  • @masonwheeler said in The hell called acquisition:

    @boomzilla From the context, apparently what we call "placement agency" or "recruiter" here in the US.

    Yup, that; sorry. I did a brief google and thought that was the correct term. In Dutch I've heard it called that ("acquisitie"), though I'm not even sure if that is the correct term here.

    Edit: Perhaps I should change the title to "The hell not called acquisition"...


  • Impossible Mission - B

    @Evo Yeah, in English, when speaking of "acquisitions" in a business context, it usually refers to companies buying out other companies, (ie. mergers,) not engaging in hiring-related activities.


  • SockDev

    @ScholRLEA said in The hell called acquisition:

    @accalia said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Cursorkeys said in The hell called acquisition:

    mechatronics

    0_1471433174835_upload-458105c3-2c70-4a1b-8c25-db08c6420e31

    :fa_question:

    Get in the fucking robot, Shinji!

    No, it scares me.....

    0_1471469481114_upload-d077ebe1-8ab7-4ca2-a0f2-4444e8e41e0a



  • @accalia Stupid emo piloting his stupid emo mech...

    I bet he can't even 0_1471470087829_upload-af6470d7-8823-461e-b154-d46e7de4c48b



  • @masonwheeler said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Evo Yeah, in English, when speaking of "acquisitions" in a business context, it usually refers to companies buying out other companies, (ie. mergers,) not engaging in hiring-related activities.

    Acquisitions aren't necessarily mergers. It can be a simple case of buying all the stock of a company and running it as a subsidiary. (Noteworthy: brokerages and the like often have a "M&A" department, that is "Mergers and Acquisitions"...)



  • @Steve_The_Cynic Also seeing the job title "Talent Acquisition Specialist" popping up all over the place now though


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    the job title "Talent Acquisition Specialist"



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Steve_The_Cynic Also seeing the job title "Talent Acquisition Specialist" popping up all over the place now though

    Different kind of acquisition, I guess.



  • @thegoryone said in The hell called acquisition:

    @Steve_The_Cynic Also seeing the job title "Talent Acquisition Specialist" popping up all over the place now though

    Whoa. I know kung fu.





  • @boomzilla said in The hell called acquisition:

    I know kung fu.

    Like that Panda?


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