TRWTF is that they had to write this
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So, I came across something else that fits the "TRWTF is that they had to write this" subject.
I was reading an article about an apparent drone hit on a plane (no damage). There are calls for testing to be done to determine what the possible consequences of a drone strike might be, with preliminary modelling suggesting that if one hits the windscreen it could penetrate.
The part is this editorial note at the bottom:
This article was amended on 18 April 2016 to clarify that Landells was referring to a test environment when he said: “The first thing we want to do is get a drone ... flying at a windscreen of an aircraft”.
Right. Because otherwise people would just assume that we wanted to try it on a real jet in flight, to see if anything amusingly dangerous happened.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
VARCHAR LOAN_NUMBER is usually joinable to the INT ACCTNO
nonononononononononononononononononononononononono fuck you no
Putting aside the whole "what you put put a non-int value into LOAN_NUMBER" fuck you fuck you fuck you.
Go ahead an put an index on both those fields so that joins are faster.
Now do the join.
Now look at your query plan.
OH WATS THAT ITS A TABLE SCAN!!!!
Becooooooze they're two different data types, so SQL needs to do a row-by-row type cast, thus destroying your index.
This is the same reason why you don't mix VARCHAR and NVARCHAR.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!
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@Lorne-Kates Well, I'm sorry, I worded that wrongly. It's intended that you join them, but obviously data type incompatibility screws everything.
I really don't know what the proper word for "It's joinable on paper, but since they didn't make the types right, it doesn't actually".
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Lorne-Kates Well, I'm sorry, I worded that wrongly. It's intended that you join them, but obviously data type incompatibility screws everything.
I really don't know what the proper word for "It's joinable on paper, but since they didn't make the types right, it doesn't actually".
"joinable"
The quotes are important.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Matches said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Tsaukpaetra company name start with an s, and end with an s?
Nope, colder . D and h
D+H??
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@bb36e said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Matches said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Tsaukpaetra company name start with an s, and end with an s?
Nope, colder . D and h
D+H??
No. Another hint: Rhymes with "cry-tech"
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
Well, I'm sorry, I worded that wrongly
I was wr--
oops, wrong thread.
@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
"It's joinable on paper
Ah. Don't know if there is a word. But on paper, everything is the same datatype. Paper.
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@Lorne-Kates said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
But
on paperin WoodenTableDB, everything is the same datatype. Paper.FTFY
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@Lorne-Kates said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
But on paper, everything is the same datatype.
On paper, everything is soft enough in an emergency. Just FYI…
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@bb36e that's um, a familiar combination of characters...
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@Magus you work with them?
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@blek said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
The result is that our documentation, the part where it describes startup, contains a note saying something like "avoid providing excessive keyboard or mouse input while the application is starting".
so does your application have like an interactive startup screen or something? is your definition of "excessive" three or less?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
It's intended that you join them, but obviously data type incompatibility screws everything.
Function-based index for the win!
Actually, at the behest of my manager I've just loaded a bunch of data from a third party into its own little schema in our BI database (where it can't escape and pollute the saner stuff). It has lots of lovely little misfeatures along these lines. My favourites are (1) the way that in $TABLE, the column $TABLE_ID is generally not a unique identifier (it usually has to be combined with one other field, but sometimes two or three), and (2) several ID-like columns that are nearly all numbers, with just the odd text identifier here or there.
As you might expect there's not much data validation either. I noticed lots of bizarre values when I was doing the data loads. Fortunately I'm not the one writing queries against it :D
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@Maciejasjmj said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
Sexual Set Theory
Dammit, they never taught us that in school.
What, your elementary school didn't have a Swinger Set at recess?
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@ScholRLEA said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Maciejasjmj said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
Sexual Set Theory
Dammit, they never taught us that in school.
What, your elementary school didn't have a Swinger Set at recess?
These words, they must have meaning, but I'm having trouble figureing out what...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@ScholRLEA said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@Maciejasjmj said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
Sexual Set Theory
Dammit, they never taught us that in school.
What, your elementary school didn't have a Swinger Set at recess?
These words, they must have meaning, but I'm having trouble figureing out what...
I expect you got the pun, but nonetheless I'll raise your (presumably) fake and raise you a real reverse-
I'm not sure what they call the first four to six grades/forms in primary school in Poland, but they are usually referred to as elementary school in the US.
Swing set (as in, a set of swings for children):
versus a set of Swingers (adults who swap partners at sex parties):
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@ScholRLEA said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
versus a set of Swingers (adults who swap partners at sex parties):
Ah. See, I've never been to a "sex party" and
havehad no idea what a "swinger" was.In the context it sounded like just another copulation position.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
@ScholRLEA said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
versus a set of Swingers (adults who swap partners at sex parties):
Ah. See, I've never been to a "sex party" and
havehad no idea what a "swinger" was.In the context it sounded like just another copulation position.
In my own experience (mostly observing as I helped my father sell sex toys at them), most 'swingers' parties end up with the husbands in one room getting blowjobs from whatever single women showed up, while the wives are in another room taking turns doing each other with strap-ons (which might explain why the husbands needed the blowjobs so badly; the closet is a terrible place...).
OK, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, most of the time the women are more interested in each other than in the other husbands, and not just in a 'oooh, let's show off some hot girl-on-girl to get the guys excited' way either. Maybe it's some sort of revenge against their husbands for suggesting going to the parties in the first place, but being bi myself I noticed that there seem to be a lot more married women who go both ways than most people would be ready to believe.
A lot more married men, too, given the times I've been picked up by some guy who I find out later is on the down-low. So yeah, we're not as uncommon as some might think.
(Some of it may be a Georgia thing, too, as the vibe for the parties I'd gone to on my own in SF and Oakland was very different. I'm guessing some of those women are only married because they didn't know how to tell their families they were gay, and the same with several of the guys.)
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@ScholRLEA said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
I'm not sure what they call the first four to six grades/forms in primary school in Poland
No-one is, as after every election the next government reforms the school system, just in case there were a few people in the country who didn't think the politicians were scum.
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@coldandtired said in TRWTF is that they had to write this:
after every election the next government reforms the school system
That seems to happen everywhere:
"This system we put in place for 5 year olds hasn't produced more doctors. Time to redo everything!"