A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform



  • And THIS is why I hate everything to do with the marketing/advertising/sales industry. Seriously, fuck all of the people involved with this "idea." Cargo-culting is way beyond out of hand, people don't even realize they are doing it anymore. Not EVERYTHING can be a "platform" or a "service." Sleep is sleep, and a bed is a bed. And GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN! :belt_onion:


  • I survived the hour long Uno hand

    @Vaire

    A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform. A connected mattress is generating an abstract user portrait by monitoring your nightly movements, and modulating its temperature and firmness to improve sleep. It’s a content platform on an informational and experiential level. If Buzzfeed’s modus operandi is OMG, a connected mattress’ is ZZZ ...

    The future of sleep won’t be its absence, it will be a new class of people leveraging its creative potential ... Writers and artists have always prized sleep’s latent potential, it’s [sic] ability to encourage imagistic nonlinear thinking. Hence the frequent preference to work as soon as one wakes up, when the hypnagogic effects are still coming on strong.

    So full of buzzwords I can't figure out the content message...

    And the group's name is K-hole?

    I call Poe.



  • @Yamikuronue said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    @Vaire

    A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform. A connected mattress is generating an abstract user portrait by monitoring your nightly movements, and modulating its temperature and firmness to improve sleep. It’s a content platform on an informational and experiential level. If Buzzfeed’s modus operandi is OMG, a connected mattress’ is ZZZ ...

    The future of sleep won’t be its absence, it will be a new class of people leveraging its creative potential ... Writers and artists have always prized sleep’s latent potential, it’s [sic] ability to encourage imagistic nonlinear thinking. Hence the frequent preference to work as soon as one wakes up, when the hypnagogic effects are still coming on strong.

    So full of buzzwords I can't figure out the content message...

    And the group's name is K-hole?

    I call Poe.

    First thing I checked was if it was an onion article o_0



  • @Vaire If you don't want it, just don't buy it. No need getting your blood pressure up over something existing if you're not forced to use it.



  • @blakeyrat said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    @Vaire If you don't want it, just don't buy it. No need getting your blood pressure up over something existing if you're not forced to use it.

    Now, where is the fun in that? :P



  • @Yamikuronue here's the most relevant quote:

    A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform. A connected mattress is generating an abstract user portrait by monitoring your nightly movements, and modulating its temperature and firmness to improve sleep. It’s a content platform on an informational and experiential level. If Buzzfeed’s modus operandi is OMG, a connected mattress’ is ZZZ ...
    The future of sleep won’t be its absence, it will be a new class of people leveraging its creative potential ... Writers and artists have always prized sleep’s latent potential, it’s [sic] ability to encourage imagistic nonlinear thinking. Hence the frequent preference to work as soon as one wakes up, when the hypnagogic effects are still coming on strong.

    I.e. :seye: :fa_dollar::dollar::fa_dollar::dollar::fa_dollar::dollar::heavy_dollar_sign::dollar::dollar:



  • @blakeyrat said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    @Vaire If you don't want it, just don't buy it. No need getting your blood pressure up over something existing if you're not forced to use it.

    But how will she know her blood pressure is up if she doesn't have a smart bed that checks her nocturnal blood pressure?!



  • @anotherusername Her, you dick.

    Did you just wake up this morning and decide to be the biggest asshole on this forum? Jesus, man.



  • @anotherusername said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    @blakeyrat said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    @Vaire If you don't want it, just don't buy it. No need getting your blood pressure up over something existing if you're not forced to use it.

    But how will he know his blood pressure is up if he doesn't have a smart bed that checks his nocturnal blood pressure?!

    0_1462469807576_ponyCaught.png



  • @blakeyrat it was a joke, and you're being unnecessarily crabby today. Not my fault.



  • It occurs to me that anyone who buys into stuff like "innovat[ing] sleep research" - or "normcore", for that matter - deserves exactly what they get.

    Aside:

    Monahan told Ars by phone that Casper commissioned this report so it would "know what the future of sleep is."

    Oh, oh, I know that one: not enough.

    Not for me, anyway... grumble... grumble...



  • @Vaire If you take anything seriously that comes from anything called K-Hole, you're :doing_it_wrong:

    (K-Hole being a slang term for the effect of humans taking too much horse tranquiliser)



  • @loopback0 said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    @Vaire If you take anything seriously that comes from anything called K-Hole, you're :doing_it_wrong:

    (K-Hole being a slang term for the effect of humans taking too much horse tranquiliser)

    but ... but ... but ... it wasn't an onion article ... :sadface:



  • @blakeyrat said in A bed is no longer furniture—it’s a content platform:

    No need getting your blood pressure up over something existing if you're not forced to use it.

    No, you don't understand. It also gets my heart-rate up: getting angry on the internet is physical exercise.



  • If I read the article correctly,

    • A group called K-Hole makes fun of the hype about sleeping by publishing a marketing parody of IT marketing for sleep.

    • Some business dudes actually took them seriously and now it is trying to pull the same stunts.

    • The rest just :facepalm:





  • Monahan told Ars by phone that Casper commissioned this report so it would "know what the future of sleep is." Of course, he conceded, that's "inherently hard to answer because sleep hasn’t changed all that much over the past couple thousand years."

    Wouldn't that make it inherently easy to answer? "Uh, yeah, I guess pretty much like it has been for the last few millennia, probably." But that's harder to market, I guess...


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.