Am I nukeable?



  • So @LB_ posted Why you should set sensible defaults: IP Flood Zones. That linked to a story about MaxMind choosing a farm in the middle of Kansas as their default "somewhere in the United States but we're not sure where" return.

    That in turn links to MaxMind's What is my IP address? page, which includes a geographic marker.

    I am nukeable. This is how I learned that:

    • Go to the MaxMind page
    • Figure out where MaxMind thinks you are located (you will need to drill down on the displayed IP address to get a working map)
    • You may need to zoom the map
    • Figure out if MaxMind has indicated you are or are not within a mile (1.6 km) of your actual physical location (total damage radius of the Hiroshima explosion was a mile)
    • If you are, your IP address is good enough to be used to nuke you...you are nukeable

    MaxMind missed me by an estimated 3,333 feet (1016 meters) so if a nuke were sent to their marked spot, I would be toast. If you find you are nukeable, it should give you a whole new perspective on data sharing. If you aren't, it should give you even more perspective to realize that they will miss you and nail some other poor sap. Maybe even that farm in Kansas.



  • @CoyneTheDup Wuff 1.01 miles. I guess I'd survive the blast, but it would be a memorable day.



  • I'm about half a mile from the marker:

    0_1460432972571_Screenshot 2016-04-11 at 22.48.37.png

    However, my IP address is probably the least efficient way of finding my address. The most efficient way is to find "Glendale" on a map, and then make sure you're not looking at the Glendale that contains the Game Grumps office.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    Missed me by about 2.1 miles. But the fallout would be terrible.
    The midpoint ended up being a business park with a lake, so if the missile hit the lake, the blast would be smaller, right?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Tsaukpaetra Most nuclear doctrine (including the doctrine used for both combat deployments) utilize air bursts. It increases area of effect (because you're not spending energy digging a crater) and decreases fallout (because you haven't tossed a crater's worth of radioactive dirt and rock into the atmosphere - just the stuff that you skimmed off the surface). Meanwhile, dial-a-yield (the best term for 'variable amount of boom' evar!) warheads are much better for tuning the area-of-effect.

    You'd only try for a ground strike if you, for some reason, needed to minimize how much shit you fuck up volumetrically, but maximize how much you fuck up the surrounding shit long term. Or if the bastards are dug into a deep tunnel complex. And then you're not really going to blow them up so much as try to cause their shit to collapse with a hell of an earthquake.

    So if it hit the lake, yes, it would be a smaller area. But not because it's a lake. And you'd have a much less pleasant time than just getting burned to death.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Weng said in Am I nukeable?:

    have a much less pleasant time

    It would still get me out of completing this stupid course, right? Possibly allowing debt relief of my student loans?


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @CoyneTheDup said in Am I nukeable?:

    Figure out if MaxMind has indicated you are or are not within a mile (1.6 km) of your actual physical location (total damage radius of the Hiroshima explosion was a mile)
    If you are, your IP address is good enough to be used to nuke you...you are nukeable

    Missed me by more than 10 miles. It would hit right in the part of our city known for chain restaurants and malls.

    Nothing of value would be lost.



  • I put me right on Bruges Market Square. I think it believes I'm one of those horses pulling tourists around.
    Off by less then 10km however.



  • 2.7 miles away - the nuke would fall just west of a cemetery. If the radiation doesn't kill me, the zombies will get a chance.



  • @Weng said in Am I nukeable?:

    @Tsaukpaetra Most nuclear doctrine (including the doctrine used for both combat deployments) utilize air bursts. It increases area of effect (because you're not spending energy digging a crater) and decreases fallout (because you haven't tossed a crater's worth of radioactive dirt and rock into the atmosphere - just the stuff that you skimmed off the surface). Meanwhile, dial-a-yield (the best term for 'variable amount of boom' evar!) warheads are much better for tuning the area-of-effect.

    You'd only try for a ground strike if you, for some reason, needed to minimize how much shit you fuck up volumetrically, but maximize how much you fuck up the surrounding shit long term. Or if the bastards are dug into a deep tunnel complex. And then you're not really going to blow them up so much as try to cause their shit to collapse with a hell of an earthquake.

    So if it hit the lake, yes, it would be a smaller area. But not because it's a lake. And you'd have a much less pleasant time than just getting burned to death.

    Yeah, y'all are overthinking this. For a 20 Mt nuke (rather puny these days?) the radius is more like 10 miles. I just picked the Hiroshima blast because it was easy to find and a nice round figure. But if you really insist, we could go with the 10 mile figure, which means everyone reporting so far is nukeable.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @CoyneTheDup said in Am I nukeable?:

    But if you really insist, we could go with the 10 mile figure, which means everyone reporting so far is nukeable.

    Mine's about 5 miles off, so I'm a little less nukeable.



  • I'm within the red circle, but I'm not sure how to measure the distance accurately. Also, I refuse to use these barbaric units of measurement.



  • Not even close for me, some 100 km off right now.



  • @CoyneTheDup They miss me by about 300km. It would need to be a fucking big nuke.



  • Mine is almost dead center. Nice knowing you all...



  • Some 5km off, on the other side of a small hill. But on the other hand, they'd pretty much hit work spot-on, so during weekdays they'd get me anyway.

    Filed under: One more reason to stay at home, I guess.



  • Based on my work IP address they'd take out London. Which is fine. I neither work nor live there.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    They have me several hundred miles away from my actual location. Then again, they have the wrong ISP for me also...



  • 0_1460448323067_upload-60f2f0b2-a3c3-4d40-8087-6730c55cee0b

    I live in Breda, some 55 km away from where MaxMind thinks I am (Nieuwegein). I'll be safe, I guess.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @flabdablet said in Am I nukeable?:

    They miss me by about 300km

    Got your next door neighbour then?



  • Missed me by 40km.



  • That site currently puts me at Zaventem, Belgium (which is interesting, I thought the exit proxies were in UK and Denmark). My home IP is off by about 30km - unsure how to easily calculate straight-line distance on google maps.



  • @PleegWat said in Am I nukeable?:

    unsure how to easily calculate straight-line distance on google maps.

    I use www.afstandmeten.nl for that. :)


  • area_deu

    @PleegWat Print it out and use a ruler?


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @PleegWat said in Am I nukeable?:

    That site currently puts me at Zaventem, Belgium (which is interesting, I thought the exit proxies were in UK and Denmark). My home IP is off by about 30km - unsure how to easily calculate straight-line distance on google maps.

    Right-click on one of the relevant points, choose "Measure distance", click on the other relevant point.

    3.06 km for me.



  • 67 miles/93 km.

    It's all academic, if I hear the 4 minute warning I'll just get inside the nearest fridge.



  • 200 km away (mobile)



  • Roughly 300 miles off when I view from my work machine



  • said in Am I nukeable?:

    What is my IP address?

    Cool, it puts the marker not even within 200 km from where I actually am :)



  • Yikes. I'm within 1km of the marker. Then again, I am within firing range from the guns in Kaliningrad anyway, so I doubt they would waste a nuke on me.

    Incidentally, I'm with @weng on this one; whoever would detonate a nuke are more likely to blast the nuke in the stratosphere and let the EMP blow us back to the dark ages. A year later they can just walk in and take over all buildings and infrastructure from a seriously diminished population.

    Only one of the reasons for keeping a 6-months supply of food and other supplies at home.



  • @Mikael_Svahnberg said in Am I nukeable?:

    keeping a 6-months supply of food and other supplies at home

    As a bonus, gamma rays from the blast should give your home supplies a little extra shelf life.



  • For your convenience:



  • That site is about 3.4 miles away, though I've seen other sites put it up to 20 miles away before.


  • sockdevs

    i initially got a miss of 3.3k miles.

    then i rememebered i had my VPN active... after deactivating the VPN it misses by about a quarter of a mile.

    so my nukeability depends on which IP you are trying to nuke i guess?



  • 3,6km at work. they would need a more modern nuke than Hiroshima, but nothing too big.

    hopefully I won't upset anyone enough for them to bring nukes for the fight



  • @PleegWat said in Am I nukeable?:

    Zaventem, Belgium

    You could join area_bel then ...



  • @aliceif said in Am I nukeable?:

    Print it out

    put it on a wooden desk, put a ruler on it, take a picture, upload it here ...



  • @accalia said in Am I nukeable?:

    i initially got a miss of 3.3k miles.
    then i rememebered i had my VPN active.

    I used to have a similar error, but these days it's actually the same. :-(



  • Saw the title and the mention of IP address and assumed you meant these type of 'tools':
    Ip Nuker – [01:03..03:15] 03:15
    — lordofwar9000



  • @Weng said in Am I nukeable?:

    Most nuclear doctrine (including th

    That was a great "uh, actually" post, but he specifically mentioned the blast radius of Hiroshima bomb, which was an airburst. As was the one dropped on Nagisaki. ... and the Trinity test (it was up in a 120' or so tower.) So... your post is utterly useless.


    Italics button still *useless *if you double-click a word and click it, or type control-I. How the fuck do you implement this text box and not even bother testing "double-clicking to select a word than italicizing it"? Oh right: you didn't bother testing any behavior whatsoever because you're an incompetent open source developer.



  • Missed me by 302 miles. Lol, sorry Kansas, I don't even live in you but you're going down if someone tries to nuke me.



  • @blakeyrat that post was in response to @Tsaukpaetra mentioning the bomb falling on a lake, not to the main subject.

    It actually got the wrong city for me, but I'm still inside the red circle (at work right now)



  • @ben_lubar Love that airport in Milwaukee, summers are wonderful, we usually visit DePere, Green Bay, Applieton and Oshkosh (we have kids that ride horses and have trainers out there). Sadly, our last relative in DePere died 2 weeks before Christmas, and our summer visits each year have come to an end.



  • @Frank said in Am I nukeable?:

    summers are wonderful

    Winters are... less wonderful.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    20km from where I actually live. They would nuke the small town next to ours, which is mostly populated by idiots. I'd be safe, and the world might be a better place.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    At work, I get 1000km of leeway about 50% of the time and 13500km the other 50%.

    For reference, the maximum possible miss for this location while still hitting land is just short of 19000km.



  • @asdf said in Am I nukeable?:

    the small town next to ours, which is mostly populated by idiots

    Shelbyville?



  • TIL I work at the center of Brussel



  • @CoyneTheDup said in Am I nukeable?:

    MaxMind missed me by an estimated 3,333 feet (1016 meters)

    Looks like I was missed by about 600 feet. It was centered on the mall across the street.



  • At work, I'd probably no longer have internet for a while, but they'd miss me by several hundred miles.

    I might check again from my home IP.


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