I feel a disturbance in the Force



  • Long story short, we have a piece of software my division developed for another Business Unit, under a completely different section of the hierarchy for my massive current company. We did it as a favor to them. I inherited the software, and have been added features to it and maintaining it for over a year.

    Fast forward to now, and another long story short, the other Business Unit did and said some things which made the management of my division much less inclined to continue being in the software favors business for them (that's the polite way of putting it). That coupled with other things going on in my division, and the decision was made to offload their software on to them to maintain. That would include them hiring a programmer or two to maintain it, and moving their data off our databases, and also hosting it themselves, eventually.

    That was about 9 months ago. They have had a VERY hard time finding someone who could find their ass with either hand, with a map. Some of their prior candidates actually contacted me to ask how to open Visual Studio (I wish I was kidding).

    Their current candidate seems promising, but he has done stuff like asking me to provide things that are IN the source code repo he was provided access to, and asking me to explain common things like how a Stored Procedure works o_O

    So, anyway, today the request came down for access to our Dev servers for their current candidate. He apparently has a build ready to deploy (which is fascinating, because the only database account he has access to that can still talk to our database, is his own credentials, which means if he is trying to do a Dev deployment, he has put his own credentials into the config file (or, god help me, hard-coded into) the application.

    I pushed back and basically said, "um ... why don't I do a code review of this shizz, and then I can push the code to Dev, if it won't cause the End of Times?"

    The response came back, "nope, sink or swim time, if they bork it, they bork it. If they have to roll back, then that is on them, give him access."

    Yeah, um ... it is a ClickOnce deployment which uses the version number to control updates, so rolling back can be ... tricky. But, all right, whatever. I have granted this guy contributor rights to the directories he needs on Dev, may God have mercy on his soul, and my server =__=

    I'll report back once he has tried to do something with it. He is in another time zone, so it may be later today, or Monday if he ends up doing it after closing today (because I haz important bizznezz to do on the weekends, that's why! :P)



  • @Vaire said:

    They have had a VERY hard time finding someone who could find their ass with either hand, with a map.

    Perhaps it's because the flashlight wasn't provided as well?



  • :sigh: ... just .... so many :siiiiighs:



  • @Vaire said:

    I pushed back and basically said, "um ... why don't I do a code review of this shizz, and then I can push the code to Dev, if it won't cause the End of Times?"

    So wait, you're trying to get rid of the guys and the instant they say they want the reins, you go into "no stop, let's do the opposite of what we've been trying to do the last 9 months..."

    WTF man.

    @Vaire said:

    The response came back, "nope, sink or swim time, if they bork it, they bork it. If they have to roll back, then that is on them, give him access."

    Uh yeah, duh. Why'd you even ask?

    Just make sure your CYA paperwork in in place and tell them to knock themselves out.



  • @Vaire said:

    I pushed back and basically said, "um ... why don't I do a code review of this shizz, and then I can push the code to Dev, if it won't cause the End of Times?"
    If the End of Times could impact stuff your department officially supports, then pushing back is reasonable. Otherwise, why not just take a backup and break out the marshmallows, for the conflagration we all know is about to occur?

    That's a nice visual aid by the way. Bag of marshmallows suspiciously close to your department's property, box of graham crackers and a single Hershey bar...



  • @TwelveBaud said:

    That's a nice visual aid by the way. Bag of marshmallows suspiciously close to your department's property, box of graham crackers and a single Hershey bar...

    And no red stapler anywhere to be found.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    So wait, you're trying to get rid of the guys and the instant they say they want the reins, you go into "no stop, let's do the opposite of what we've been trying to do the last 9 months..."

    WTF man.

    Uh yeah, duh. Why'd you even ask?

    I pushed back, because they are SUPPOSED to be moving to their OWN servers. It was never the plan that they were going to gain ownership of it, then continue to publish to OUR servers. Which I am responsible for. That's why.:P



  • @Vaire said:

    Which I am responsible for.

    Then make them their own server and sign it over. Now you're saying it's been 9 months and you didn't do your job.



  • I am responsible for the server my division's code sits on, e.g. keeping the code that goes on to it from bringing the server down, or borking the other applications on it. I am not responsible for provisioning servers. I am a Senior Dev, not a Servers and Storage IT person.

    The other Business Unit is responsible for requesting and setting up their own server, which they haven't done, and apparently have forgotten about. Or are hoping I have forgotten about.



  • Well I'm responsible for trolling this forum, but I can't think of anything else, so there.



  • I know you are, that's why I love you


  • mod

    @Vaire said:

    Long story short, <snip 8 paragraphs>

    If that's your "short" version, I'd hate to see the long version.



  • @abarker said:

    @Vaire said:
    Long story short, <snip 8 paragraphs>

    If that's your "short" version, I'd hate to see the long version.

    Short stories can be up to 20000 words. (Definitions vary. Some make the limit as little as 4000 words; SFFWA uses 7500 words as the maximum.) That was only ~500 words, which would be categorized as a "short short story."


  • mod

    @HardwareGeek said:

    Short stories can be up to 20000 words. (Definitions vary. Some make the limit as little as 4000 words; SFFWA uses 7500 words as the maximum.) That was only ~500 words, which would be categorized as a "short short story."

    For a forum that limits posts to ~32k characters, it was long enough. :P



  • @abarker said:

    For a forum that limits posts to ~32k characters, it was long enough.

    Not even close: 2595.



  • @abarker said:

    If that's your "short" version, I'd hate to see the long version.

    Isn't the ENTIRE POINT of this site and forum, to share stories about the programming and tech industry? If I boil it down to, "people were supposed to do something, but they didn't, now they want to do something they shouldn't be doing, in an ideal world, and I think it will end poorly," how interesting would that be, to anyone? Honestly :rolleyes:


  • mod

    /le sigh

    My point was that we expect that you've already summed it down. Saying that this is the short version and then posting a wall o' text was pointless.



  • It WAS the short version! >_</*


  • SockDev

    I buttume that any front pagifying of my stuff will require more shortening?



  • @Arantor said:

    front pagifying of my stuff will require more shortening?

    And lengthening :giggity:



  • @abarker said:

    If that's your "short" version, I'd hate to see the long version.

    Au contraire, I'd love to see the long version!


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Arantor said:

    I buttume that any front pagifying of my stuff will require more shortening?

    I'm hungry for something all of the sudden...


  • SockDev

    Seeing that quote reminds me I need to post one other thing to post in the thread... To the Lounge!


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @abarker said:

    If that's your "short" version, I'd hate to see the long version.

    That's what the ladies say to me :giggity:

    @Deadfast said:

    I'd love to see the long version!

    The ladies say that too.



  • He rolled out the new release over the weekend. Nuked the prior files in there, and then they found out that not all the I's were dotted, and T's crossed. They are in the processes of trying to "roll back" now. Harder to do with ClickOnce, because of the way it updates. I would suggest that he simply pull from source control the version he inherited, change the version number on it to one greater than what he released, and call it a day. But, I have explicitly been told to keep my mouth shut on helping them so...

    Mmm mmm mhmph mm mffph mm mmffh! :smiley:

    IB4 :giggity:



  • @Vaire said:

    Mmm mmm mhmph mm mffph mm mmffh! :smiley:

    That sounds like a tasty marshmallow!



  • @DoctorJones said:

    That's what the ladies say to me :giggity:
    The ladies say that too.

    @Simon Travaglia said:

    "What a Warwickism!" I cry.

    "Warwickism?" The Boss asks.

    "Yes," The PFY responds helpfully. "You know, an outrageous pseudo-technical statement made to support an illusion of technical competence."

    "?" The Boss mouths wordlessly.

    "You know," The PFY continues. "Like me saying I have a computer chip implanted in my penis which reacts with cash registers at supermarkets to give me a discount on condoms."

    "Have you?!" The Boss asks, shocked.

    "Of course not!" The PFY replies. "It's a barcode tattooed down the side."

    "Yes, but it comes up as 'Baguette, Large' when he scans it," I add, unable to stop myself once I see The Boss's look of horror.

    "And sometimes they have to scan it six or seven times before it gets read, by which time it's changed to..." The PFY blurts, slowing to a stop as The Boss backs out of the room quietly.

    <!-- Missive shall not be void -->


  • @PJH said:

    Perhaps it's because the flashlight wasn't provided as well?

    New saying:

    "They couldn't find their own ass with a lit roadflare shoved up their anus"



  • @Vaire said:

    Harder to do with ClickOnce, because of the way it updates.

    That's why we built our own updater that works similar to Chrome's. ClickOnce is a half-solution to a problem that's not all that hard to solve.



  • Meh, I wasn't the one who originally developed it, or setup the deployment method. Not up to me to change it. I don't use it myself for projects I helm start-to-finish.



  • @PJH said:

    @Vaire said:
    They have had a VERY hard time finding someone who could find their ass with either hand, with a map.

    Perhaps it's because the flashlight wasn't provided as well?

    Here you go...


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Lorne_Kates said:

    "They couldn't find their own ass with a lit roadflare shoved up their anus"


    Filed under: Things our customers have said about the Discourse development team

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