I am obeselymorbid. Ask me anything...


  • :belt_onion:

    ...or don't. I don't particularly care either way.

    But this seems like a new thing all the cool kids do, so, why not?


  • Dupa

    @obeselymorbid said:

    a new thing all the cool kids do

    It was started by blakey.


  • :belt_onion:

    I know. But the cool kids are doing it now, too.


  • :belt_onion:

    Are you morbidly obese or just obesely morbid?


  • :belt_onion:

    My usercard describes that pretty well.

    I'm obesely morbid online and morbidly obese IRL.



  • Why don't you diet? My diet is coffee + smoke and I still wear the same size as when I was 16.


  • :belt_onion:

    @Eldelshell said:

    Why don't you diet?

    Mostly because I'm lazy. Also because sometimes it feels like the food is one of the very few pleasures left.

    @Eldelshell said:

    My diet is coffee + smoke

    I haven't ever smoked. Not a matter of principle, and I love the tobacco smell - good thing everyone around me smokes.
    When I was young it seemed like literally burning the money into smoke and afterwards I saw no reason to start.

    I don't think starting smoking can be an effective diet, but I know that stopping suddenly if you've smoked for a while usually leads to a huge weight gain.

    Edit: I drink lots of coffee. I drink it sweet so it probably doesn't help.



  • How much do you actually weigh?



  • @kt_ said:

    It was started by blakey.

    Then I made a joke.

    Then @accalia missed the point of my joke and made a similar joke that was not the same.

    Then EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON ON THE FORUM MADE THE SAME JOKE. FUCK.



  • And it annoyed blakey, so....



  • I wear a smaller size than when I was 16 and I'm still fat.



  • Is this guy related to you?

                    Adil Likotkib, "Adil Inkynets", Dwarven Child                  
                                                                                    
      "Oh, I don't usually think much."                                             
                                                                                    
      Within  the last  season, he felt enjoyment  after playing  make believe. He  
      felt enjoyment after playing with a toy axe. He felt enjoyment after playing  
      with a puzzlebox. He felt euphoric due to inebriation. He  was annoyed after  
      having a  drink  without  using a goblet, cup  or mug. He  was content after  
      having a fine drink. He didn't feel anything after sleeping without a proper  
      room. He was delighted after watching a performance. He  was delighted after  
      watching  a performance.  He was delighted after watching  a performance. He  
      was delighted after watching a performance. He was  delighted after watching  
      a performance. He  felt enjoyment while performing. He felt  euphoric due to  
      inebriation. He was delighted after watching a performance. He was delighted  
      after watching a performance. He was delighted after watching a performance.  
      He  was  delighted  after  watching a  performance. He  was delighted  after  
      watching  a performance.  He was delighted after watching  a performance. He  
      was delighted after watching a performance. He was  delighted after watching  
      a  performance. He  felt enjoyment while performing. He  was delighted after  
      watching a performance.                                                       
      He is the son of Melbil Wirebristles and Lòr Goldgrip.                        
      He is  a citizen  of  The  Earthen Bodice.  He is a  member of  The  Ashamed  
      Chocolate. He  is  a former  member of  The Sensitive Stake.  He arrived  at  
      Lakishzalìs on the 21st of Sandstone in the year 250.                         
      He is four years old, born on the 1st of Limestone in the year 247.           
      His hair  is  extremely  long. He is short  and obese. His  cobalt  eyes are  
      round. His head is  somewhat short. His ears are somewhat tall.  His hair is  
      pale chestnut. His skin is copper.                                            
      He is almost never sick and very slow to tire, but he is very weak.           
      Adil  Likotkib  likes  gypsum plaster, steel,  wood  opal, seahorse leather,  
      giant green tree frog tooth, boxes and bags, llamas for  their jutting teeth  
      and the words  of The Maroon Boulders. When possible, he  prefers to consume  
      cranberry wine. He absolutely detests large roaches.                          
      He  has  a  good  kinesthetic  sense,  but  he  has  a questionable  spatial  
      sense and a little difficulty with words.                                     
      Like  others  in  his  culture,  he  holds  craftsdwarfship  to  be  of  the  
      highest ideals and celebrates talented artisans and their masterworks, has a  
      great  deal of  respect for the law,  greatly prizes  loyalty, values family  
      greatly, sees friendship  as one of the finer things in  life, believes that  
      honesty is a high ideal, really respects those that take the  time to master  
      a  skill, deeply  respects those that work  hard at  their labors,  respects  
      fair-dealing  and  fair-play,  values  cooperation,  finds  merrymaking  and  
      partying worthwhile activities, values martial prowess, values leisure time,  
      respects commerce, values knowledge and finds nature somewhat disturbing. He  
      personally doesn't care about art one way or another. He dreams of raising a  
      family.                                                                       
      He  is  quite  a  bold  flatterer,  extremely  friendly  but  just a  little  
      insufferable.  He is  very polite and observes appropriate  rules of decorum  
      when possible. He is currently more rude. He often feels  envious of others.  
      He is often  nervous. He is somewhat uncomfortable around  those that appear  
      unusual  or  live  differently  from  himself.  He  tends to  be passive  in  
      discussions. He is quick to form negative views about things. He is grateful  
      when others  help him  out and tries to  return favors. He  tends not  to be  
      swayed by emotional  appeals. He thinks he is fairly important  in the grand  
      scheme of things. He is quick to anger. He is not particularly interested in  
      what others think of him. He is currently more shameless.  He generally acts  
      with a narrow focus on the current activity. He likes to take it easy. He is  
      currently  more fearless.  He is currently  more confident.  He is currently  
      less  private. He  is currently more thoughtless.  He needs  alcohol to  get  
      through the working day.                                                      
      Overall, Adil is quite focused with satisfied needs.                          
                                                                                    
      A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

  • :belt_onion:

    146


  • :belt_onion:

    @Bort said:

    a smaller size

    Size of what are we talking about.
    I think I might be missing the joke but were you even fatter at 16 or something?


  • :belt_onion:

    No, but I can relate to his life's motto if that's what the first sentence is.

    @ben_lubar said:

    He was annoyed after having a drink without using a goblet, cup or mug.

    Sissy, a bottle doesn't need to be washed after use.

    @ben_lubar said:

    extremely friendly but just a little insufferable.

    Vice versa for me.

    The last paragraph is 50/50 hit and miss.



  • @obeselymorbid said:

    146

    Urists? 146Γ is like 320 pounds.



  • @obeselymorbid said:

    Sissy, a bottle doesn't need to be washed after use.

    Dwarves don't store alcohol in bottles. It's either in a keg or poured out of a keg into a smaller keg with one end missing that the humans keep calling a cup for some reason.


  • :belt_onion:

    @ben_lubar said:

    Urists?

    *googles*

    Yes, units equivalent to urists.



  • @ben_lubar said:

    Then @accalia missed the point of my joke

    Shocker :laughing:


  • sockdevs

    @ben_lubar said:

    Then @accalia missed the point of my joke and made a similar joke that was not the same.

    my IAMA thread was a joke?

    .... news to me.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @ben_lubar said:

    Then @accalia missed the point of my joke

    cough And you didn't :fa_flag:? Punk.


  • sockdevs

    @FrostCat said:

    @ben_lubar said:
    Then @accalia missed the point of my joke

    cough And you didn't :fa_flag:? Punk.

    YIP KYON GEKKER YIP YIP!

    :angry:


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @accalia said:

    YIP KYON GEKKER

    Textbook Pavlovian response.


  • sockdevs

    @FrostCat said:

    @accalia said:
    YIP KYON GEKKER

    Textbook Pavlovian response.

    i resisted biting you for that... i didn't have to.



  • @accalia said:

    YIP KYON GEKKER YIP YIP!

    :fa_flag_o:


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @accalia said:

    i resisted biting you for that... i didn't have to.

    You say that like you've forgotten about my chainmail socks and pants.



  • @loopback0 has been replaced by a bot that only responds to @accalia with a random flag emoji.



  • @NedFodder said:

    @loopback0 has been replaced by a bot that only responds to @accalia with a random flag emoji.

    Pest control plugin :trolleybus:


  • sockdevs

    @FrostCat said:

    You say that like you've forgotten about my chainmail socks and pants.

    /me scribbles something on a piece of paper

    remember... to... bring.... plasma cutter... to remove.... chainmail... before... biting.

    got it. thanks for the reminder!<DIV


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @accalia said:

    plasma cutter

    Aren't you forgetting "find someone with thumbs to use the plasma cutter" ?


  • sockdevs

    @FrostCat said:

    @accalia said:
    plasma cutter

    Aren't you forgetting "find someone with thumbs to use the plasma cutter" ?

    I am capable of maintaining a humanoid form, it takes a lot of effort and concentration so i don't like using it. Nevertheless i am capable of using it to apply the plasmacutter, then shift back into the vulpine form for the biting.

    simple.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    While you're busy transforming I'll be backing right up.


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