[PBP] Mafia II: Mafia in Spaaaaaaaaace!


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    First, the instruction manual.

    1. If you are not playing, do not post in this thread. If you wish to comment, we have a lovely spectator plan! PM me and I will add you to “Club Ded”, which is where all the spectators, dead players and other assorted awesome people hang out. You can even spy on my notes, which are the canonical record of what all has actually happened and what all can actually happen.

    2. This is a Closed Setup Game. This means you do not know what roles are in play.

    3. This is a Partial Reveal game. When players die, the flip may not always contain all the information the player had.

    4. This is a Bastard game. Players may not have all information about their role.

    5. Each Player will be given a Role Card via PM. This role card will contain:

    6. The Role the player is playing and a brief description of its mechanics.

    7. Any special modifiers or rules specific to that player and a description of the mechanics involved.

    8. A "Roleplay role." This is unusual, but this is the player's "job" on the ship. It has absolutely no relationship to the abilities or role of the player. It is strictly useful for a starting point to roleplay the setting. Under no circumstances does it imply or grant authority over any other players or a relationship with any other players. It can be safely ignored. Again, this is flavor only.

    9. Players may voluntarily quit at any time for any reason. PM me and you will immediately die and be added to Club Ded. This will appear ingame as a suicide.

    10. Player Conduct.

    11. Do not edit your posts. Do not edit your posts. You may play Russian roulette to fix typos and the like, but if an edit pencil appears, you're out. Do not edit your posts.

    12. Unless otherwise specified in your role PM, do not discuss the game with another player, living or dead. Also don't use an intermediary or other such system. All game discussion happens in the thread for all to see, or not at all.

    13. Do not copy-paste from any out-of-thread communication. Paraphrasing is okay, but direct C+P is forbidden because the result is too "suspiciously legitimate". This generally refers to communications with me.

    14. If you are not a live player, do not post in the thread. Dead players may not post in this thread.

    15. You should not post "after the hammer". While it's highly unlikely that something can change the outcome of an execution, it's not impossible, and allowing posts after the majority-tipping vote can unintentionally disclose supposedly-hidden information. It's not specifically forbidden and I will not penaliz you for it, but it is dangerous. Particularly if that person you think you just lynched isn't actually dead.

    16. Do not encrypt your posts. Do not post in a language other than English. Do not alter your posts in any way. Do not post using your steganographic code from your secondary school clique. Do not use the last-visited or last-posted date or time. Do not post an image from SnapChat, Imgur, or other image services that let your change or delete them. Do not make $1,000 bets that you're not Mafia. Do not taunt @blakeyrat . (Essentially, the entire contents of the thread should be visible to everyone at all times, and actions outside of Mafia should not drive decisions inside Mafia, nor vice versa.)

    17. Do not use actions that you do not have.

    18. Do post at least once every 24 hours.

    19. If you fail to comply with any rule or moderator directive, I will roll on the “Unfortunate things happen” table. This means that an unfortunate thing will happen to your character. They are very unfortunate things. You don’t want to find out what they are. Examples of things you must comply with are anything marked must on your role card and this rules post.

    20. The game will take part in 5 phases:

    21. Dawn
      PMs will be sent containing the resolutions to night time actions. No player action necessary. For all intents and purposes you can consider this instantaneous

    22. Day
      All players will participate in open discussions in the main thread. Players will vote
      to lynch a player until a majority consensus has been reached. Players with
      daytime actions shall submit them via PM.

    23. Hammer
      The moderator will verify that the verdict has been reached. The game will usually
      progress to evening, but may be sent back to Day if some special condition has not
      been met. No player action necessary.

    24. Evening
      PMs will be sent containing the resolutions to daytime actions. No player action
      necessary. For all intents and purposes, you can consider this instantaneous.

    25. Night
      Players with nighttime actions will submit them via PM.

    26. Discussion may occur in the main thread at all times. Posting during Hammer and Night are probably not a good idea, but it’s your funeral.

    27. Discussion may occur in officially ordained PM threads at all times. You know a PM thread is official if I’m on it. If I'm not on it, you are breaking rule 7.2

    28. ASK QUESTIONS. If you don’t understand something, PM me. If you think the rest of the game needs to know the answer, post the question in the thread. If you think your PM thread needs to know the answer, post the question there.
      If you need my attention (daytime action that needs immediate attention, you guys think you’ve reached a verdict, etc.), you can expedite resolution by emailing me at tdwtf.weng@gmail.com - that’ll go to my phone and annoy my cow-orkers.

    29. Vote commands are “@vote for @Weng” to, for instance, vote for me and “@vote @unvote” to remove your vote. You may also “@vote for @no-lynch” to cast your vote against lynching anybody on this day. For maximum sanity, these should be on lines all by themselves.
      These look like bot commands because they may be later. For now, I’ll be doing the tally manually.

    Gameplay will begin tomorrow. You'll know when because an enormous megapost will appear below this one.

    You may should receive your Role PMs and membership to any PM threads soon.



  • Command invalid or no command issued. Try the help command.

    <!-- SockBot/2.11.5 (Cheery Chiffon; owner:Dreikin; user:vote) 2015-11-28T17:32:12.525Z -->

  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    You are the best bot <3



  • Needs more rules. Another 57 or so. Games aren't fun unless they have 23,000 rules.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Eh, really only #7 is rulesland. The rest is more "instructions".



  • Ok well Discourse swallowed my post so lovely.

    Rule 7.1:

    @Weng said:

    Do not edit your posts. Do not edit your posts.

    Rule 7.6:

    @Weng said:

    Do not alter your posts in a way other than editing.

    So uh. Can you edit? Or not edit?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Blame @Twelvebaud, I stole that verbatim from him. Fixed.



  • Oh good, that means you're not responsible for that fucking terrible "happy fun ball" joke. Which, BTW, very timely.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Also fixed.



  • Ok well while I'm reading this shit, rule 11 also makes very little sense to me:

    @Weng said:

    Discussion may occur in officially ordained PM threads at all times. You know a PM thread is official if I’m on it. If you’re not on it, you are breaking rule 7.2

    God knows I have a brain that works different than everybody else's, but this rule seems to be saying that if you're not in a PM thread Weng happens to be on, you're in violation of the rules. Or phrased more sensibly: every PM thread about the game that includes Weng must include literally every player. (Since players who are not on the thread would mysteriously be in violation of a rule and have absolutely no way of knowing that.)

    Huh? What would even be the point of starting a PM with literally every player, you could communicate with every player by just posting in the thread.

    (Also the referenced rule 7.2 would seem to preclude any game-relevant PMs from existing at all. So I don't really get how that rule can co-exist with rule 11.)

    (Also the first sentence of it seems to be saying nothing at all. "Discussion may occur on official threads at all times." Uh? Duh? Well the PM system kind of already works that way, so does it really need to be said?)


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Parses fine to me.
    Edit: Actually, no that doesn't parse. Oops. Fixed.

    As for saying nothing, in most formats of this game discussion in the main thread is forbidden during certain phases (for example immediately after a lynch but before the results are posted) because of some vague fear that players might influence each other in ways they otherwise wouldn't. With this crowd, that's fighting the tide, so #10 explicitly allows people to do that.

    11 goes on the explicitly permit that for the PMs as well and goes on to reinforce 7.2.



  • @Weng said:

    Parses fine to me.

    Ok well. The first sentence definitely needs "as opposed to what?" because it's self-evident that PM threads allow posting at any time. I assume the first sentence is trying to say something but damned if I can figure out what it is.

    If the third sentence parses ok with you, and somehow also jives with rule 7.2... well I guess that's just me being a weird alien, because it makes absolutely no sense to me no matter how many times I read it.

    EDIT: Ok, it makes more sense now with your edit. Except the first sentence, which you didn't change and is still a "duh?"

    I still don't get how it jives with rule 7.2, which prohibits all off-thread discussion of the game. But whatever, I'm not even playing it, I'm just bored.



  • @Weng said:

    Do not post "after the hammer".

    @Weng said:

    Discussion may occur in the main thread at all times.

    So, uh, which one is it?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Clarified. You can post, but it's risky. That person you think you lynched may not actually be dead.



  • So, no defiling corpses until the confirmation. Got it.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Weng said:

    ­13. Vote commands are “@vote for @Weng” to, for instance, vote for me and “@vote @unvote” to remove your vote. You may also “@vote for @no-lynch” to cast your vote against lynching anybody on this day.

    The vote commands should be on their own line (that's why the bot complained about not having a command to parse). Sorry for not mentioning that.


  • sockdevs

    @Weng said:

    [PBP] Mafia II: Mafia in Spaaaaaaaaace!

    Space! space! I'm in space!
    All quotes from Portal 2's "Space" sphere – [00:40..03:44] 03:44
    — FantasticDeli


    SPAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Weng:
    Also, do you wish to provide some guidance on last words? I didn't see anything like this in the rules:

    @TwelveBaud said:

    Dead players can make one "ghost post", but may not include anything that might influence the game; suggested wording: "Bah! Go town/mafia!"

    Or are those meant to be forbidden completely?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    More or less forbidden. If you want to last word, go ahead and do it before your death scene. I mean, it's your funeral.

    But keep in mind that you might survive unexpectedly :hanzo:

    Those of you who die by less than democratic means are SOL.



  • @Weng said:

    But keep in mind that you might survive unexpectedly :hanzo:

    And even then, what you think is true about yourself might well not be. And even if you do end up dying and flip a card, it still isn't guaranteed to be true. And... fuck, how are we supposed to play this game again?

    (also, I think @Weng was going through my brain recently, because I thought of running a space-themed setup for quite a while after the last game. Including the exact same title as above.)



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    Including the exact same title as above.

    With exactly 9 A's?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Change of plans. I need to do some mechanic'ing tomorrow morning, so you get the game start right now.

    It is the year 3484.
    Papers, Please Theme Song - Seamless 10 Minute Extension – 10:22
    — TheOnlyBongo

    The Glorious Arstotzkan people have broken the bonds of planetary gravity and sidestepped the damnable mistress of the speed of light to reach for the stars.*

    In the wake of this new invention came a glorious glorious age of Arstotzkan expansion! However, other nations, not bound so tightly by paperwork and bureaucracy, eventually outran Arstotzkan expansion and hemmed it in on all sides.

    The long running cold war between Arstotzka and Kolechia has not waned in all this intervening time. In fact, 600 hundred years ago, the war turned hot. Since then, the two have fought a simmering border war that has slowly but surely consumed the entire accumulated wealth and production capacity of both nations.

    The war is in its end stages now, having been fought to a self-destructive stalemate. The scattered remnants of both fleets face off over the border system of Greskin mutually unable to deliver the final blow for lack of food, fuel and ammunition. Morale is in the toilet.

    The Glorious Arstotzkan people have made one final sacrifice and heroically produced one final freighter load of military materiel.**

    That freighter, the Glorious Arstotzkan Naval Ship (GANS) Salem*** is a multi-billion ton bulk freighter seven kilometers long. It loosely resembles a series of modular cargo compartments strapped to some inexpensive scaffolding… Mostly because it is a series of modular cargo compartments strapped to some inexpensive scaffolding with a smattering of crew compartments bolted on in what appears to be a haphazard manner. It has clawed its way to the outer solar system and it's ancient warp drive**** has engaged and flung the ship into the alternate fabric known as jumpspace.

    All the ship needs to do is continue to exist for several weeks and it will safely exit jumpspace in the Greskin system and its cargo will be all but delivered. Some people have other plans, however...

    Glory to Arstotzka!

    *Any accusations that the warp drive was stolen from the Ameяikans are mere propaganda and the dissemination of such unfounded rumors are punishable by a stay in the Wolf 359 space gulags mining space salt and cutting down space trees for warmth.

    **Rumors that the cargo was procured from the Ameяikans in exchange for an agreement to extradite the descendents of somebody named “Ѕиошѣэй” are pure fantasy.

    ***Rumors that the ship was named after an historic Ameяikan town as part of any alleged transaction are treasonous

    ****Rumors that the warp drive is a black market Chinэsэ model because the approved Arstotzkan model is unworkably terrible will get you chucked out an airlock if an officer overhears


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Jump Day 1: Dawn.
    The entire senior crew and officers meet in the officer’s mess over a breakfast of rehydrated non-dairy reconstituted egg-like substitute and Spam. The topic of discussion: The renewal of the junior crew’s Semiannual Standard Space Bedding Operator’s Permits.

    The riveting discussion covers many topics including the particulars of how crewman @accalia was found operating her bedding with occupancy exceeding her permit while they were in port. This would be a black mark on her record and could even lead to seizure of the entire ship if it were ever revealed to the authorities. On the other hand, crewman @swayde hasn’t properly renewed his permit in more than seven months! And crewman @Pleegwat simply does not have bedding, in direct contravention of the 83rd Decennial Regulatory Review of Comfort Conference Proceedings Revision 293 Section 776 Subsection 5309.67 Paragraph 22 Mark 709!

    Ah, well. If they weren’t breaking regulations all the time, they wouldn’t be spacers, would thSKOOOOM

    Cargo Compartment ЯG-305XSv is a cube measuring 100 meters on each side. It is empty but for one thing: a large sphere, marked with serial number “39433B”, of dull blue metal, just a hair shy of 100m in diameter. This giant sphere is made of the most expensive and strongest material known to man - a post-trans-uranic alloy. It is a perfect sphere and the surface is completely uninterrupted. It needs to be really expensvie and strong because it is a container for the second most expensive material known to man - liquid neutronium. In order to make neutronium a liquid, you need to compress the hell out of it. In order to compress the hell out of it, you need a hell of a pressure vessel. Hence this PTU alloy sphere called 39433B.

    Cargo Compartment ЯG-305XSv is located directly adjacent to the officer’s mess. As the officers just found out, Loadmaster @royal_poet had not been present when 39433B suffered an ‘accident’ in loading. As a result, it is no longer a perfect pressure vessel. Rather, the officers would have found out if they’d been able to do more than cease existing when a tiny hole opens in 39433B opened and 39433B ceases to be a pressure vessel and became a very high energy particle cannon, throwing free neutrons at very nearly the speed of light through the wall of Cargo Compartment ЯG-305XSv, through the adjacent mess hall wall, entering the back of Captain @Weng, through the table in front of him, continuing through the floor and out into the darkness of jumpspace.

    The effects of the neutron cannon would be devastating on the captain and indeed the rest of the senior crew had things not proceeded to get worse.

    The Salem’s normal space fusion drive is powered by fusing helium-3. During mission preparation, Chief Engineer @Arantor had covered up a minor fuel line leak. It wouldn’t leak enough to matter, and this mission was absolutely vital.

    As a result, a small amount of the ship’s atmosphere has been gradually displaced by helium-3. A small but sufficiently devastating amount of the matter being pushed out of the way of the way by the passing beam is therefore liable to start a nasty fusion reaction if enough of it banged together too hard. And it does.

    A star-hot nuclear inferno fills the mess hall, instantly vaporizing the senior crew and slagging the contents of the compartment. For a brief instant, the rehydrated non-dairy reconstituted egg-like substitute is dehydrated again.

    The situation is bad. Which isn’t to say it isn’t about to get much, much worse. During the last overhaul, Master Chief @loopback0 oversaw the complete replacement of the forwardmost compartments of the ship, including Cargo Compartment ЯG-305XSv, the crew mess, Cargo Compartment J-1b and Fuel Bunker 9. To speed construction, Cargo Compartment ЯG-305XSv is held to the central spine of the ship by a number of exotic fasteners called ‘bolts’. These bolts lose strength when heated.

    Fusion is hot, as evidenced by the fact that the bolts almost immediately became worthless. The torque imparted on Cargo Compartment ЯG-305XSv by the particle cannon effect caused it to shear off its mounting bolts and break free of the ship. The beam now moves, leaving a knife-sharp wound through everything it passes over. As it swings away from the mess hall, it first impacts on the ship’s liquor still, set up in boatswain @r10pez10’s quarters and operated illicitly in contravention of the Service of Alcohol on Spacecraft Act of 2766.

    It then encounters the main structural spine of the ship. While it cut deeply, it failed to sever the beam. It did, however, slag a bundle of electrical cabling that Chief Electrician @izzion and Chief Electronics Mate @Twelvebaud had put in place as a backup power and data feed to the ship’s computer. All these lines shorted together instantaneously. This gives the ship’s computer the first concrete evidence that anything was wrong - up until this point it has just been trying to parse out confusing acceleration data and the source of a loud noise and temperature spike. It also gives the computer other things to worry about - like protecting as much of itself as it can as several I/O boards literally combust as data lines short to power lines.

    The beam of death swings into Cargo Compartment J-1b next. J-1b is, at @ChaosTheEternal’s insistence, also loaded with a Neutronium storage vessel. Balance and symmetry, in addition to making his job as Senior Propulsion Technician easier, is also pleasing. The neutron beam cuts a slice through the PTU shell in J-1b and a wide, flat, knifelike beam spears out of it, severing the spine in an instant.

    The front of the ship falls off. That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point. The front of the ship drifts upwards and starts to spin downwards, the belly coming into contact with the sharp point of the spine attached to the rest of the ship.

    The spine tears first through Fuel Technician @boomzilla’s cabin, and then Ship’s Auditor @dkf’s.
    That all is mostly irrelevant though, because the next thing that happens involves Fuel Bunker 9.

    The beam of death pierces Fuel Bunker 9. Remember how the ship is fueled with Helium-3? Remember how Helium-3 likes to have energetic fusion reactions? Fuel bunker 9 is full of liquid He3. The resultant fusion reaction completely eradicates the entire forward kilometer of the Salem, with the exception of the two PTU shells. Those lose sufficient structural integrity from the heat, however, that they crack up and the remaining neutronium quickly evaporates.

    The entire surviving crew, in their quarters at Kilometer Post 5 towards the rear of the ship are tossed from their bunks.

    The entire ship shakes and shudders and vibrates and there are terrible tearing noises. Cargo shifts. Stuff falls over. Somebody screams. It’s like riding an earthquake that hits a 13 on the richter scale. It’s a miracle the ship holds together.

    Once everything settles out, there is silence for a solid minute.

    ….

    Then every computer console throughout the ship pings and a message scrolls:

    WARNING: Connectivity with all nodes forward of Frame 38884 is down due to a communications fault.
    Fuel State in Fuel Bunker 9 is unknown.
    Fuel Control Module 9 is not responding.
    Atmospheric monitors forward of frame 38887 are not responding.
    Atmospheric monitors in frame 38888 to 39002 read impossible atmospheric composition 0.0atm 100% Nitrogen 100% Oxygen 100% Helium. E_DIVIDE_BY_ZERO.
    Security monitoring systems forward of frame 38887 are not responding.
    Crew member @Arantor last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @royal_poet last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @loopback0 last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @r10pez10 last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @izzion last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @TwelveBaud last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @ChaosTheEternal last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @boomzilla last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Crew member @dkf last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    Captain @Weng last known position was Officer’s Mess Compartment at frame 1033.
    848389404852224 additional warnings suppressed.

    Analysis suggests two possible scenarios:
    Scenario 1 is a catastrophic attack on the vessel leading to severe structural and systems damage.
    Statistical analysis indicates that there is a 0% likelihood that this is the case. This vessel is in jumpspace. We cannot be attacked in jumpspace.

    Statistical analysis indicates there is a 100% certainty that a severe System I/O failure has occurred.

    Activating recovery protocol.
    Devolving control to secondary computer system.
    Primary system shutdown……..

    Hello!

    Welcome to Windows 10 Starship Edition!

    It is now Jump Day 1: Day.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    It is now Jump Day 1. The day will end at 12:00 GMT-5 on Thursday, December 3rd 2015, or whenever the town reaches a consensus, whichever comes first. There are 17 alive, meaning 9 votes are necessary to lynch.



  • *Scrolls back to the top*
    *Scrolls back to the bottom*
    *Scrolls back to the top*
    *Scrolls back to the bottom*

    *blinks*

    *The artificial gravity system appears to have been overloaded and has shut down. What was supposed to be breakfast for the day crew plastered to the walls and suspended in spherical globs throughout the galley. The chef is nowhere to be found.*

    *Intermingled with breakfast, occasionally slicing through it, are the contents of the kitchen's cutlery drawer. Knives, gleaming in the red emergency lights, twirl in circles as they bounce around the room. I watch as a glob of what was once powdered eggs gets cut in half by a paring knife. One of these globs lands on my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a large frying pan gliding menacingly in my direction. All the while, the knives twirl in their deadly dance.*

    *How in the world am I supposed to serve breakfast to the crew in this state?*



  • Wow we sure seem to have lost a lot of the crew! Maybe people should start reporting in so we know his left. I'll see what I can do about restoring primary systems. @placeholder, I'll start with your foodmatic 2000, were all going to need coffee if we're going to get through this.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    I walk into the mess, having woken up due to the recent events, but not realizing their severity. "Just another day on our glorious freighter" I think, believing some cargo had just settled … vigorously.

    :yawn:

    What's for breakfa—

    I look around, easily dodging a slowly passing sporf.

    Huh. Looks like now's not a good time. You want me to come back later?


  • mod

    "Pilot Yamiko Kuronue here, reporting for duty! I'm unharmed, but I can't get in touch with the Captain. What's happened?"



  • Computer technician reverendryan here. I haven't the slightest idea yet. The primary systems won't respond and we're running on the emergency backup, which as I understand it was "liberated" from a museum.

    Ooc: discourse on mobile is a worse experience than trying to post to a bbs from a c64.



  • @Dreikin said:

    Huh. Looks like now's not a good time. You want me to come back later?

    I'll gladly scrape something together for you as soon as somebody turns the artificial gravity back on in the kitchen.

    @reverendryan said:

    @placeholder, I'll start with your foodmatic 2000, were all going to need coffee if we're going to get through this.

    I was just setting up the self-serve machine for tea before everything went black. If you can figure out how to change the recipe, you can brew yourself all the coffee you want. We had full stocks when we departed.


  • mod

    @reverendryan said:

    Maybe people should start reporting in so we know his left.

    Steward @abarker reporting in. And you can forget having me serve breakfast. Given recent events, I think clean up may be first priority.

    @Dreikin said:

    Looks like now's not a good time. You want me to come back later?

    Well, if you're really hungry, the kitchen is over there.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @abarker said:

    Well, if you're really hungry, the kitchen is over there.

    Well don't mind if I do..

    After spending a few minutes fetching bits of food that don't need cooked into a bowl conveniently floating nearby, Dreikin leaves the mess, mumbling as he goes: "Well, I suppose I should go see what cargo fell down up-ship."

    A few minutes later the mess intercom buzzes with a heavily distorted voice:

    Uh, hey, y'all might want to come see this. I think — and this is only a suspicion, now — that we may have lost some of our ship. Just head forward, and, uh, remember to check the other side of the doors before you open them.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Dreikin said:

    A few minutes later the mess intercom buzzes with a heavily distorted voice:

    ooc: FTFD.


  • Impossible Mission - B

    Cargo handler Vault_Dweller here. Man, what happened here? This place is a mess. It looks almost as bad as the incident back in 3453 when I was with the Arstotzkan Navy. So what is the status of the ship, are we still able to reach our destination?



  • Aye, what's going on out here? Have we hit something? I was just tending the warp drives when suddenly I was tossed all across the room! We almost fell out of warp with no shields in the Kolechian sector! I swear, I'll need to have me some wods with the pilot...

    *blinks*

    *rushes to the computer screen and checks the logs*

    WHAT? What do ye mean we lost half the ship? And where's the Cap... oh, oh no, I told them back at the starbase, we shouldn't have given red uniforms to the senior crew...


  • area_deu

    *Yawns loudly as she enters the mess*
    I should really stop staying up late playing real-life Sokoban ...
    Well, good morning and glory to Arstotzka, everyone!

    *Slowly notices that the mess is pretty messy right now*

    What happened? Did we hit a bunch of meteors again? I swear, that delivery to Altan during the Perseids was the bumpiest ride ever.

    ...

    What do you mean, we lost half the ship? You can't be serious!

    ...

    This will be one hell of a day. Getting all the cargo back to where it belongs and as upright as we can will not be easy.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    Navigator @jaloopa reporting for duty. Well, this is a mess. As far as I can tell, the warp trajectory hasn't been affected. That's the good thing about jump space, its very hard to get out of whack once you're in it. Makes my job pretty easy until we're back in normal space. I'll help out with whatever clean up and repairs I can assist with.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Ship's health and safety officer @DoctorJones reporting for duty.

    My god, what on earth happened?! There are so many violations, it's probably easier to count the things that aren't violations.

    I think we should forget the regulations for the moment, and focus on keeping the rest of the ship from disintegrating.

    Does anyone have a clear picture of our status yet?


  • sockdevs

    communicatoon... conumication... comumicat... helping people to speek to each othre technition @accalia, reporting for duty!

    ...DAMNIT! this emergency operating system took away my spell check!

    ..... well better get to work seeing what i can do about sorting this situation out... anyone seen my sonic screwdriver?



  • @DoctorJones said:

    Ship's health and safety officer @DoctorJones reporting for duty.

    Well, someone needs to update their guidelines, don't they, young lad?

    Anyway, aside from @accalia's glitching, we seem to be running stable on backup systems. Very suspiciously stable, I might add, considering how this vessel is, well, less glorious than our beautiful country of Arstotzka. And how we only have half of it.

    And seeing how all of the senior crew ended up in the exact part of the ship that's been destroyed, it's almost as if someone wanted at least part of this ship to remain intact, but with all high rank personnel out of the picture...


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Maciejasjmj said:

    Well, someone needs to update their guidelines, don't they, young lad?

    I don't make the guidelines. The guidelines have been set for centuries. I merely enforce them and dock the pay of anyone who persistently violates them.

    I'm actually due to inspect the engineering section, but I'm sure you've got more important things to worry about right now, like keeping us from disintegrating. Don't worry, I've got your back, the paperwork can be overlooked for now.



  • Yawn, what happened here? One thing I'll say for this ship the sleeping pills are good.

    Defensive weapons tech @PleegWat reporting. Except we don't have any weapons. Is anyone serving breakfast?



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    And seeing how all of the senior crew ended up in the exact part of the ship that's been destroyed, it's almost as if someone wanted at least part of this ship to remain intact, but with all high rank personnel out of the picture...

    The senior crew move the location of their staff meeting every week. For morale reasons, I gather. For some reason though, they decided to hold this week's meeting in the same place that they did last week. Nobody told me why.

    All I know is that we were told to prepare some of the special stores for them this time. The best food on the ship in fact. I tried to get on the serving team for this meeting, since it is well known that the stewards get the leftovers, but the head steward hasn't let any of the stewards from this section of the ship near the commanding officers after that incident a few months ago.

    @PleegWat said:

    Is anyone serving breakfast?

    There's a cluster of bagels over in the far corner. They're yours if you can catch them.



  • @Placeholder said:

    There's a cluster of bagels over in the far corner. They're yours if you can catch them.

    Ugh, never mind. Breakfast is... What did you do with the coffee machine!

    Goes off to disassemble, clean, and reassemble the coffee maker


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    The mess hall computer console dings and reads an audible message:

    Today's Health and Safety Tip: It is not advisable to interact with hot liquids during a null-gravity condition

    OOC: I literally couldn't resist



  • Glad to know the most important systems still work...



  • Look, I'm a defensive weapons tech who's routinely stationed on unarmed cargo vessels. I've got plenty of time for ... side specializations ... and any workplace runs on coffee. Especially spaceships. I know what I'm doing.

    Having shut off the water from outside the kitchen, @PleegWat finishes vacuuming out the floating blobs of hot liquid.

    There. Now to get to the important part...


  • mod

    @PleegWat said:

    Is anyone serving breakfast?

    No. But you're welcome to help yourself to anything floating in the kitchen.



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    And seeing how all of the senior crew ended up in the exact part of the ship that's been destroyed, it's almost as if someone wanted at least part of this ship to remain intact, but with all high rank personnel out of the picture...

    I agree. According to the <abbr title='ooc: @weng's deadline post'>internal bio sensors there are 17 of us left aboard ship, and if I've counted correctly 11 have checked in so far. At least one of us was responsible for this, and we need to start figuring out who. I'm suspicious of those who haven't reported in yet.

    @vote for @xaade

    ooc: flavor is fun, but it's not going to catch scum. Figured I'd kick off RVS.



  • Comes out of the kitchen holding a sealed drinking container of something black

    @abarker said:

    No. But you're welcome to help yourself to anything floating in the kitchen.

    Good, I abhor breakfast. I've cleaned up the coffee machine and reconfigure it to only serve in zero-g-approved containers until we've got the gravity problem fixed. Containers are in the third ceiling cupboard from the right. Remember to close the cupboard door after taking out a container.


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