The 2015 Literary Review’s [spoiler]■■■ ■■■[/spoiler] awards

  • ##Subheading: How useful is a bulbous salutation?

    One of this year's Bad Sex award nominees - Morrissey. This one:

    [spoiler]Well hopefully it doesn’t get any worse than this, because my stomach just couldn’t take it…’ and their fiendishly loving wrestle began once again, rolling across the floor as hot-tempered enthusiasts of lustful joy as both adorers’ bodies did their sexual staccato heaving and barging into place, nothing forbidden, heartbeats uneven, the mind as naked as the body, weakened by exertion, only to shockingly lock with a halt at the astride legs of Sammy, young brother to Ezra, as he quietly stood with satisfied slyness watching the debauched display of sensuous pleasure at the sweetness of living seized by the initiative.[/spoiler]


    [spoiler]At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and puled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.[/spoiler]

    Paperback available from £5.59 from Amazon. Kindle from £5.49

  • That sentence is the best sentence ever written.

  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @blakeyrat said:

    That sentence is the best sentence ever written.
    Which one? This?

    @PJH said:

    One of this year's Bad Sex award nominees - Morrissey

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