A shiny new Put-It-In-Context Game thread just for you



  • PIIC is a forum game we used to play on the NightStar forum for Schlock Mercenary. The rules are simple:

    • A player posts a statement they have seen or heard elsewhere, preferably something they overheard in person. It can be a few sentences, but usually a single sentence or phrase will do. You should not explain where you heard it or what it was in reference to, as that's the next player's job.
    • Each successive player tries to come up with some context or explanation for the statement, the more absurd or outrageous the better.
    • After posting a context, the player obliged to add a new statement for the next player to contextualize.

    For example (to use one I recall from the old game), one player (KareNin) posted the statement:
    they're being forced down my throat
    for which the context reply was
    Obviously, the doctor Kare goes to prefers to go the long way when he administers suppositories.

    So, without further ado:

    There's no way I'm gonna let him steal my people, man



  • @ScholRLEA said:

    There's no way I'm gonna let him steal my people, man

    To Pharoh124: LET MY PEOPLE GO
    From Pharoh124: no lol


    Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos



  • I'm guessing an asshole said that to a dickwad talking about fuckwits.

    That's my standing answer for all phrases posted here. /mute


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    Clearly ben or someone in his presence has happened upon the dark priest of a lava deity/demon named Volcanos who demands prayers/offerings before bed.

    If you can't beat them, confuse them.



  • @Fox said:

    Clearly ben or someone in his presence has happened upon the dark priest of a lava deity/demon named Volcanos who demands prayers/offerings before bed.

    If you can't beat them, confuse them.

    That's me, talking about corporal punishment of my master's students.

    you are 500% more likely to meet a cow than Cindy Crawford.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    you are 500% more likely to meet a cow than Cindy Crawford.

    A statistician was really bored and compared his friend's chances of meeting a cow to Cindy Crawford's chances of meeting a cow.

    What have you learned that you didn't know before?
    I learned that I don't know what I'm doing.



  • @Fox said:

    What have you learned that you didn't know before?

    Simple rules to a simple Game

    @Fox said:

    I learned that I don't know what I'm doing.

    Engaging in the Game

    Use your right foot to push hard on that, then use both hands to twist this, clockwise, as fast as you can....



  • @loose said:

    Use your right foot to push hard on that, then use both hands to twist this, clockwise, as fast as you can....

    The last words spoken by any of the three technicians on duty at SL1.

    He did seem a bit, uhm, paranoid?


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @ScholRLEA said:

    He did seem a bit, uhm, paranoid?

    I'm sure it had nothing to do with the plant growing out of his head.

    It's easier to tell you what I DON'T want...

  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Tsaukpaetra said:

    It's easier to tell you what I DON'T want...

    *cough* Apparently I need to sweep my bedroom for listening devices...

    :giggity:

    Just bought out $localGroceryStore's entire selection of chicken fajita meat. It was over 80 pounds.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Fox said:

    Just bought out $localGroceryStore's entire selection of chicken fajita meat. It was over 80 pounds.

    Clearly the Beef fajita meat just couldn't suffice.

    If I knew how to fix it, I wouldn't have broken it in the first place!

  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Tsaukpaetra said:

    If I knew how to fix it, I wouldn't have broken it in the first place!

    Every politician, EVAR.

    The Peoples Front of Islington have sent out a clear message.

    <!-- Tough on frappucinos, tough on the causes of frappucinos! -->

  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @dkf said:

    > The Peoples Front of Islington have sent out a clear message.

    <!-- Tough on frappucinos, tough on the causes of frappucinos! -->

    They couldn't destroy the ocean, so instead they blue up the clouds!

    <!-- Pun intended -->
    Oh great, now I can't see my legs!

  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Tsaukpaetra said:

    Oh great, now I can't see my legs!

    Double amputee gets the hang of the cremation process!

    "What a lovely name," she said kindly. "Greek, isn't it?"



  • @dkf said:

    "What a lovely name," she said kindly. "Greek, isn't it?"

    She said to Alex, as she got up from the bar and left the singles club early.

    Come left by 10° and that should be more than enough separation.


  • I survived the hour long Uno hand

    @loose said:

    Come left by 10° and that should be more than enough separation.

    I keep telling you, that's not how you play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

    I'll keep going, just stay by my side.



  • @Yamikuronue said:

    I'll keep going, just stay by my side.

    Titanic thinks this might be love.

    if there's one thing I just can't stand...



  • @Buddy said:

    >if there's one thing I just can't stand...

    Picasso gives up on his 2 legged easel idea.

    Don't cut off your face to spite your nose.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Boner said:

    Don't cut off your face to spite your nose.

    The Phantom of the Opera had come up with a strikingly simple solution to his problems.

    Be the good girl you always have to be.


  • Dungeon master commenting on player's attempt to make that paladin more... rogue-like.

    TRWTF is PHP



  • @Gaska said:

    TRWTF is PHP

    After Alex and Remy had a falling out over what software the latest upgrade to the TheDaily WTF's should use, the site endured a schism the likes of which hadn't been seen since the 12th century, with partisans of both sides claiming that they were the real one. This only ended when it was pointed out that they were competing to be called "The Real WTF".

    I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cop's taser.



  • @ScholRLEA said:

    I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cop's taser.

    In your defense, she really should know better than to bring that to bed.

    Those things are handy, specially at night. I just don't know where to store it.



  • @Zecc said:

    Those things are handy, specially at night. I just don't know where to store it.

    Said @cartman82 after he had made his first fifi

    This just goes to show what can be achieved when we all pull in different directions.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @loose said:

    This just goes to show what can be achieved when we all pull in different directions.

    As the royal executioner said at the medieval dismemberment party.

    I don't mind one, but when three jump in at once it's just crazy, like they've got some kind of death wish.<!--source: my cabbie after a particularly nasty junction-->


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @dkf said:

    I don't mind one, but when three jump in at once it's just crazy, like they've got some kind of death wish.

    Said as they went down the tube-only waterslide.

    It's... downloading....


  • Ah! It finished, finally.

    (@ben_lubar downloading a photo on Milwaukee PC)


    Huh. That's unexpected.



  • @Zecc said:

    Huh. That's unexpected.

    Everyone's reaction when Fox and Polygeekery agreed on something in a debate thread.

    Sorry, that was the wrong site. I mean, the wrong password for the right site.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @ScholRLEA said:

    Sorry, that was the wrong site. I mean, the wrong password for the right site.

    Said after a long session of troubleshooting on public IRC before the client gave up and posted the password they were using.


    It's easier to tell you what I don't want!


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Tsaukpaetra said:

    It's easier to tell you what I don't want!

    @Tsaukpaetra indirectly letting know he has amnesia.


    What can you do to be more nbully repellant?


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Dreikin said:

    What can you do to be more nbully repellant?

    Said after a harrowing experience in the Bronks Forest.

    @Dreikin said:

    @Tsaukpaetra indirectly letting know he has amnesia.
    Oh S**t, our secret's out! Abandon post! They're on to us, Everyone PANIC!


    Filed under: Um, sir, a user just witnessed a glitch in the Matrix, how should we handle it?


    Come on, Intellisense!



  • @Tsaukpaetra said:

    Come on, Intellisense!

    When I don't know what I am doing but hoping that I have given Visual Studio enough hints that I can just control-space my way through the rest of the task.


    Doesn't need to be secure, just needs to check-off the requirement that it is secured.



  • @Yolobert said:

    Doesn't need to be secure, just needs to check-off the requirement that it is secured.

    If salesforce.com sold firewall software...

    Down! Not for kitties!


  • I survived the hour long Uno hand

    @ScholRLEA said:

    Down! Not for kitties!

    The supermodel realized he'd walked into the wrong bar; he wanted the gay bar down the street.


    They said they wouldn't be able to get the stucco out until Monday.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Yamikuronue said:

    They said they wouldn't be able to get the stucco out until Monday.

    Hospital surgery departments are stretched at the weekend after a particularly good party at the @Fox household!


    Guess who isn't coming to dinner after all.


  • BINNED

    @dkf said:

    Guess who isn't coming to dinner after all.

    Timmy's mum attempted to make his father's disappearance more fun


    You can make me a guru in a couple of days, right?


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Jaloopa said:

    You can make me a guru in a couple of days, right?

    Said the intern after finding the candy dispensing machine.


    same result... weird, because those tables are there



  • @Tsaukpaetra said:

    same result... weird, because those tables are there

    A bug in new Roomba software suddenly became a lot more difficult to fix.

    It's like putting peanut butter on a puppies tail


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Maciejasjmj said:

    It's like putting peanut butter on a puppies tail

    The new line from Subway is an instant hit!

    <See saw, Marjorie daw,/Jonny shall have a new master./>He shall live on a penny a day</because he can't work any faster.>


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @dkf said:

    He shall live on a penny a day

    Decreed as punishment against the Penny family after conspiring against the Foster Care system.


    It's what you get when you leave CAPS LOCK ON ALL THE TIME ON ACCIDENT..



  • @Tsaukpaetra said:

    > It's what you get when you leave CAPS LOCK ON ALL THE TIME ON ACCIDENT..

    A free AOL membership.


    I'm a reality show without a camera crew.


  • @OffByOne said:

    I'm a reality show without a camera crew.

    I've disconnected the brain so it should work now



  • @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    I've disconnected the brain so it should work now

    Let's create a platform for civilized conversations over the internet for the next 10 years!


    Wake me up, before you go go.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @OffByOne said:

    Wake me up, before you go go.

    ...said one programming language to another.


    "I just can't handle such big things"



  • 8 posts were split to a new topic: Move talk that totally wasn't playing the context game


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @DoctorJones said:

    "I just can't handle such big things"

    Sound byte played by a children's shape-matching game.


    It's warmer in the Sun.... :sunny:



  • @Tsaukpaetra said:

    It's warmer in the Sun.... :sunny:

    Every single possible setting in a very unhelpful furnace thermostat.


    we get the worst of both worlds!


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @ben_lubar said:

    we get the worst of both worlds!

    The new prison on the moon isn't working out as hoped.


    I would have brought more, but storage space for stowaways is very limited.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @dkf said:

    I would have brought more, but storage space for stowaways is very limited.

    Said Tron to the Master Control Program as it stopped him from leaving The Grid.


    You said it would be easy once we got access to Share Point!



  • @Tsaukpaetra said:

    You said it would be easy once we got access to Share Point!

    Dude, that's not even remotely funny. Let me tell you a story of a university very near where I work:

    In September 2014 they started putting up marketing material for the new intranet. They had flyers, they had banners, they had huge posters, and roll-ups, and pull-downs, and frigging clowns doing a mime dance of joy to illustrate how good the new intranet was going to be once it was released in February 2015. In fact, they spent more money on this in-house marketing campaign than the entire extramural marketing budget -- you know, the sort that would be used to attract new students to the university.

    February came and went. Spring came, with the first tulips of the season. Still no word of the new intranet. Summer came, and the students left. The employees trudged on, marking exams, desperately using google to find whatever material they needed from the university's web pages (because at the time they were running Lotus Domino with all its fancy search facilities revved to max. This -- which is a completely different story -- is slightly more effective than a scratching a gnat's ass to find the information you need). Autumn came, new students came, new exams to mark started to pile up, but still no news of the -- alledgedly already launched -- intranet. The posters, flyers, roll-ups, pull-downs, flags, banners, billboards, etc. were still in place, because this was the biggest and most revolutionary change the university had ever gone through since the Dawn Of Time.

    Then, one morning in early October, a collective chirp was heard from the staff's e-mail programs, as the propaganda department sent out a brief e-mail to everyone employed. In its full glory, the e-mail read:

    A new message has been posted on the intranet.
    
    Please visit http://inside.university.se to read the message.
    

    The staff curiously scrutinised this e-mail, and eventually went to visit the suggested (insecure) link. This prompted them to enter their ActiveDirectory username and password. For many of the staff this was a nuisance, because this password had hitherto only been required to connect to the wifi, and yet they were required to renew it once every three months. Having found (and renewed) their AD-password, they were able to log in to the new and shiny intranet. Apparently, February came late this year.

    Once inside, the staff were met by a news page. There were (surprisingly, since this was the first evidence that the site was up and running) more than several news messages waiting for them. The top one, presumably the newest, was the message thad had been used as clickbait to lure them in to the site. Click on the message, what might it be? What wondrous news awaits the ardurous user behind link number one? is it a goat? is it a car? Nay:

    This months breakfast meeting with the vice chancellor is CANCELLED.
    

    The staff pondered this for a while. Some did a character count to verify that the message was in fact shorter than the e-mail. Then life went on.

    ... Only, now that the new intranet was active, people started adding information there. Without first taking down the information from the old intranet. Google continued to laboriously point to the old intranet and the -- sometimes, by now -- outdated information. Because the new intranet was hidden behind a password, google was no longer able to find relevant and updated information.

    People wailed. People pulled their hair. People had tea. People tried to laugh. People started duplicating the relevant information on external sites because --- surprisingly -- not everyone who might have use for the information hidden in the new system actually has access to it. Students, for example, do not have access. Life went on, and everyone found ways to adapt around this new monstrosity that now consumed enough resources from the IT-department that other services was beginning to get noticeable slower. From a crawl to a trickle. Meanwhile, the propaganda department continued their camaign to force people to log in on the new intranet. Every day, the employees were met with new messages that there was news available on the intranet. Every day, the news turned out to be as disappointing as the first message. The spam filters started to catch on, and pretty soon the inbox was blissfully quiet again. Life was once more complaisant.

    Then, one bright morning, one employee decided to actually have a look at the new intranet. He noticed that you were able to fill in custom information in a user profile. "Yay!", thought he. "I wonder...", mused he. "Maybe I can add unicorns to my profile?", pondered he. Unfortunately, this was not easily achieved, but in the process he discovered that the monstrosity, the beowulf in their midst, that was called The Intranet, was nothing more than a vanilla SharePoint site with the univerity's logo slapped onto the frontpage.

    He recalled the past months of confusion and futile attempts at finding relevant information. He remembered the struggle to find out which of the four sets of instructions that were relevant when they had upgraded the printers. He looked up and saw the fliers, posters, roll-ups, pull-downs, billboards, and fly-bys that were still hanging from the walls like tattered remains of propaganda in a Duke Nukem game. He studied the smiling faces. He read the promises.

    "You maniacs!" Yelled he. "You said it would be easy once we got access to Share Point!"


    Stall the customer! We'll tell you when we are ready to demo.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    that's not even remotely funny

    Sorry, the Funny Stuff Thread is :arrows: . According to the rules, you're supposed to put the quote into context. Humor may be recommended, but isn't required. ;P
    However, from quote to a story regalement, that's certainly impressive!


    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    Stall the customer! We'll tell you when we are ready to demo.

    Overheard when the "demo" machine happened to be the dev's local box that wasn't available since he was out on a coffee break.


    Can I get a status, please? Can I get a Status status? We need to know how soon you can provide a status for the status we asked you about the Status.


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