Twilight Zone Efficency Model
k get this
walked into the office this morning...
pm walks in and says we have to redo some budget estimates and how long I thought I'd need before I'd have enough information to sit down with her and estimate the number of hours it'd take us to finish.
I told her about 11:00 to which she responds
"K great, you know we've got our weekly meeting at 1:00 let's get together at 12:45 to go over the agenda."
"Sure thing" I said, somewhat amused.
"How are you coming on that status report that we need for tomorrow morning." She follows.
"It's almost done, I'll let you look at it when we sit down at 11:00" I reply.
Ok now I'm thinking I'm in the damn twilight zone, and I can't really keep from chuckling anymore.
"Ok last order of business," she says. "It seems as if infrastructure needs to open a port in one of our firewalls. Can you open a
ticket with Jim so that he can get our provider to address this?"
I nod, I can't speak, and I'm damn near pissing myself as she walks away.
Oh this is getting better and better, and as you might surmise the way for
our infrastructure to get the vendor to do something is to open a support ticket.
So essentially back to back I
- was asked
for an estimate on an estimate
- got roped into a meeting for another meeting
- gave a status update on my status report
- and agreed to submit a ticket so that someone else could submit a ticket
The really sad thing is, that if it hadn't occurred in such rapid succession I'd have not even noticed.
- was asked
You aren't allowed to cry. If you need someone to cry, submit an issue to the PM and he'll assign it to the BA, and they will cry for you if the review meeting goes well.
(I love how this sort of process prevents the slightest screwup in requirements, but no one gives a shit about SQL injection attacks. That's low level work, man. It's not part of the process.)
Damn, we must work for the same company.
Not likely, I am the one and only programmer here with a PM and a BA. Everyone else is still in sane-land.
The only way you could be working here is if you're actually me... OH SHI-
Oh man, my head.
Hey guys, what's going on. It feels like the universe just exploded. I must have had one hell of a night last night.