:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit



  • @Jaloopa A parent should never not be an authority figure to the child. That doesn't mean that they can't have fun or come alongside their kids.

    @boomzilla It's only weird because society doesn't expect much from children (any more?), so it has become (is?) uncommon.

    @Karla I agree. That's a big part of raising kids, and seems to be something that too many parents don't do.

    @heterodox From the kids' perspective, both parents should be their authority, and both parents should support each other and be united and consistent in their rules and enforcement of them (partly so the kid can't play one against the other or get away with something that one permits and the other denies).
    Each family is different, but human nature is the same. People are naturally selfish (both kids and parents), and have to learn (be taught!) how to love others.



  • @djls45 said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    It's only weird because society doesn't expect much from children (any more?), so it has become (is?) uncommon.

    You can't make me believe in your fantasy.



  • @djls45 said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @Jaloopa A parent should never not be an authority figure to the child. That doesn't mean that they can't have fun or come alongside their kids.

    @boomzilla It's only weird because society doesn't expect much from children (any more?), so it has become (is?) uncommon.

    @Karla I agree. That's a big part of raising kids, and seems to be something that too many parents don't do.

    @heterodox From the kids' perspective, both parents should be their authority, and both parents should support each other and be united and consistent in their rules and enforcement of them (partly so the kid can't play one against the other or get away with something that one permits and the other denies).
    Each family is different, but human nature is the same. People are naturally selfish (both kids and parents), and have to learn (be taught!) how to love others.

    You don't know anything about the family in question and yet want to cast judgment on the mother.

    What if the kid has a disorder which causes it to act out sometimes, regardless of what you do?

    Also:

    From the kids' perspective, both parents should be their authority, and both parents should support each other and be united and consistent in their rules and enforcement of them

    Yes, thank you for providing this pearl of wisdom which has never in the history of mankind been said before.



  • @rhywden said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    What if the kid has a disorder which causes it to act out sometimes, regardless of what you do?

    If the kid had that sort of disorder, the mother would've known about it, and should've gotten all their stuff ready to go so she could just pick up the kid and leave right away instead of standing there and letting the kid scream at her.

    If that's really all that she did and the original post's author was mistaken (and he or she was, on several counts*), then I made a mistake and misjudged on incomplete (and biased) information. But the situation matches others I've seen frequently enough for me to be reasonably confident of my judgment.

    * That author him- or herself epitomizes the wrong expectations that society in general seems to have come to hold.



  • @djls45 said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @rhywden said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    What if the kid has a disorder which causes it to act out sometimes, regardless of what you do?

    If the kid had that sort of disorder, the mother would've known about it, and should've gotten all their stuff ready to go so she could just pick up the kid and leave right away instead of standing there and letting the kid scream at her.

    If that's really all that she did and the original post's author was mistaken (and he or she was, on several counts*), then I made a mistake and misjudged on incomplete (and biased) information. But the situation matches others I've seen frequently enough for me to be reasonably confident of my judgment.

    * That author him- or herself epitomizes the wrong expectations that society in general seems to have come to hold.

    Who said she was just "standing there"? Also, you've obviously never been subject to a kid throwing a tantrum.



  • @djls45 said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @rhywden said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    What if the kid has a disorder which causes it to act out sometimes, regardless of what you do?

    If the kid had that sort of disorder, the mother would've known about it, and should've gotten all their stuff ready to go so she could just pick up the kid and leave right away instead of standing there and letting the kid scream at her.

    If that's really all that she did and the original post's author was mistaken (and he or she was, on several counts*), then I made a mistake and misjudged on incomplete (and biased) information. But the situation matches others I've seen frequently enough for me to be reasonably confident of my judgment.

    * That author him- or herself epitomizes the wrong expectations that society in general seems to have come to hold.

    That's like I used to feel judgmental about parents who have leases on their kids. Now, I think, "that one must be a runner."



  • @rhywden said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @djls45 said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @rhywden said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    What if the kid has a disorder which causes it to act out sometimes, regardless of what you do?

    If the kid had that sort of disorder, the mother would've known about it, and should've gotten all their stuff ready to go so she could just pick up the kid and leave right away instead of standing there and letting the kid scream at her.

    If that's really all that she did and the original post's author was mistaken (and he or she was, on several counts*), then I made a mistake and misjudged on incomplete (and biased) information. But the situation matches others I've seen frequently enough for me to be reasonably confident of my judgment.

    * That author him- or herself epitomizes the wrong expectations that society in general seems to have come to hold.

    Who said she was just "standing there"? Also, you've obviously never been subject to a kid throwing a tantrum.

    I went back to reread the original post.

    The mother is being a "brat" and "violating his personhood." What that even mean?

    She may have answered "why" 20 times already. I've most definitely scooped up my kid (and others) when they refused to leave somewhere.



  • @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    That's like I used to feel judgmental about parents who have leases on their kids. Now, I think, "that one must be a runner."

    Oh, man, those were the best! Especially in airports, I used to connect it to my beltloop so that I didn't have to even use a hand to keep my son from taking off.



  • @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    The mother is being a "brat" and "violating his personhood." What that even mean?

    I guess she's supposed to magically avoid temper tantrums through telepathy.

    Or via Propofol.


  • Impossible Mission - B

    @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    parents who have leases on their kids.

    Baby-selling thread is :arrows:



  • @masonwheeler said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    parents who have leases on their kids.

    Baby-selling thread is :arrows:

    Then again, this might solve some problems:

    "Listen, if you're not going to bed right now we won't extend your lease tomorrow and you're going back to the dealer! And then you'll see what the market for a previously-owned 3-year old really looks like!"



  • @masonwheeler said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    parents who have leases on their kids.

    Baby-selling thread is :arrows:

    LOL makes for a pretty funny typo.


  • :belt_onion:

    My kid, who was about five at the time, and I would play Minecraft (creative mode) on the iPad. One time we had a whole pack of dogs following us when we fell into a deep pit. While digging us out, I had some trouble with the controls and accidentally killed some of the dogs. I was getting frustrated.

    My kid said: "It's okay Dad, you're trying your best!"



  • The Development of Aggression, ADHD and Antisocial Personality. – 09:27
    — Jon Smith

    This is an interesting watch re the above.

    tl;dw: Your main job as a parent is to make sure your child is socially able by the time they start school.



  • @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    LOL makes for a pretty funny typo.

    When I read it, I went "wait, what???" before the typo registered.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    As we are getting ready to leave for vacation tomorrow I was reminded of something that happened on our vacation earlier this summer:

    We vacationed with some friends. It was kind of a two part vacation where they dropped us off in Asheville where we picked up a rental car and spent a few days in Asheville visiting friends before heading on to Charleston, SC. The trip from Asheville to Charleston has quite a few sections where there really isn't anything for many miles. I was driving...unreasonably fast through one section where there are zero exits or other places to stop and I had just passed an Audi A8 (no clue how I remember what car it was) when our oldest says:

    :boy: "Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom."
    polygeekery "Do you need to go now, or can you hold it for a little bit?"
    :boy: "I have to go really bad. I am about to pee my pants."

    So with no other choice, I pull over and he pees alongside the road. I see the A8 go flying past as I get out of the rental car. We get back in and take off and a couple of miles up the road I see that A8 pulled over and getting a speeding ticket.

    polygeekery "Good timing on the bladder son. You just saved me a speeding ticket." :thumbsup:



  • @polygeekery Cruise control FTW


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @pleegwat meh, then I would have just had the cruise control set at 95mph. ;)



  • @polygeekery True. On my last vacation I habitually had it doing 120 km/h on the German autobahn. With a trailer.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @pleegwat said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    120 km/h on the German autobahn

    Is that really fast? Or walking pace. I have no idea. :trollface:


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @polygeekery
    Divide by 8, multiply by 5, carry the 1... 75mph.



  • @izzion
    Also note although Germany famously doesn't have a highway speed limit for single cars, when driving with a trailer the limit is 80 km/h (50 mph), or after a special test 100 km/h (62 mph). My trailer meets the special requirements but has not been tested.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @izzion I know, I just felt like being obtuse.

    Multiply by .62.

    .6 * 120 = 72mph, round up a bit to make up for the .02 I left behind. I figured 75mph was close enough for a guess.

    I probably averaged 90mph between Asheville and Charleston (I always want to say "Rochester", must be some weird latent dyslexia?). The rental car was a Yukon Denali XL. It drove really well.



  • @polygeekery said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    I know, I just felt like being obtuse.

    And I intentionally only put metric since you only put imperial.



  • @polygeekery said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    Rochester

    I know this place.

    I sometimes mishear Westchester as Rochester.



  • @pleegwat said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    With a trailer.

    Oh come on ... be honest ... I know what country you are from ... it was a sleurhut wasn't it?



  • @luhmann No; it was a tent trailer. Smaller version of this which is not on the English site.



  • @pleegwat

    ERECTING THE TENT WITHIN ONE MINUTE !

    Pfff ... It's already done and over in that minute!



  • @luhmann Yeah, that's without herrings. I don't feel comfortable leaving out the herrings. In practice setup time is about half an hour.

    My favourite feature is the pack & go. Open up the luggage compartment for packing at home without having to unfold the tent, meaning you only need a normal parking space.


  • kills Dumbledore

    @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @polygeekery said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    Rochester

    I know this place.

    I sometimes mishear Westchester as Rochester.

    I live about 10 minutes from Rochester. You Americans were really devoid of imagination when naming places


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @jaloopa
    You Brits were horribly overbearing with your insistence on naming things after the Motherland, but by the time we got done throwing you out, we were too busy running around with our arsenal of guns to rename them. :trolleybus:



  • @jaloopa said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @karla said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @polygeekery said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    Rochester

    I know this place.

    I sometimes mishear Westchester as Rochester.

    I live about 10 minutes from Rochester. You Americans were really devoid of imagination when naming places

    I grew up there. Regularly go back to visit family.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @luhmann said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    @pleegwat

    ERECTING THE TENT WITHIN ONE MINUTE !

    Pfff ... It's already done and over in that minute!

    It happens to the best of us. Try to think about baseball. Or Margaret Thatcher.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    Lil' Dude just got a book to read off the bookshelf in the kitchen. That book is:

    0_1507334148709_d5570e21-f4fe-445e-aaf1-014f8a552b94-image.png

    That's my boy.



  • @boner said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    The Development of Aggression, ADHD and Antisocial Personality. – 09:27
    — Jon Smith

    This is an interesting watch re the above.

    tl;dw: Your main job as a parent is to make sure your child is socially able by the time they start school.

    Definitely worth the (not quite) ten minutes. He talks a little about why and how to socialize children between 2 and 4 years old, mostly by rough-and-tumble play. I think the parents' role in that can and should start even earlier, but it's interesting to note that the natural age difference between kids who come from large families is about 2 years from one to the next.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    Here's a funny story from when our oldest was ~2 years old:

    Our kids have always went to Jewish daycare even though we are not Jewish. I have pretty much always picked up the kids and my wife almost always does drop offs.

    One day in the Fall I pick up the kiddo and as we are coming around the drive from the back parking lot of the daycare and some geese are crossing the road. I stop to let them cross and my son says in his squeaky 2-year-old voice:

    :baby: "Bye bye Jews."
    polygeekery "What did you say?!"
    :baby: "Bye bye Jews."

    I was sort of flabbergasted. "Jew" is not a slur or anything but I could only imagine how some might interpret it or whatever.

    polygeekery "Why did you say that, son?"
    :baby: "I wanted to say buh-bye to the birds."
    polygeekery "Ohhhhhhh, bye bye goose. Got it."

    :relieved:



  • I took daughter to toddler gym yesterday. She's playing...so I figure I can probably play a little pokemon go. This other little boy, moves himself onto my lap, grabbing my phone, trying to play.

    He apparently already understands his male privilege.

    I did think it was all very funny.



  • @polygeekery said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    I probably averaged 90mph between Asheville and Charleston

    South Carolina is a terrible state for speeders. I'll bet that's where the Audi got his.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    So Lil' Dude has been teething this week. 2 year molars. So he has not been feeling well since Sunday evening. This morning I wake him up and he is a little more himself. Tonight he comes in the house like a wrecking ball. 4 days of pent up hell to be raised. The boy has no fucks to give. I put him in time out and set the timer, we use one minute per year of age. Timer goes off and I tell him he is done and he goes over and gives the timer a twist and goes and sits back down and laughs at me and smiles like a devil child.

    Zero fucks given.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    God is sitting on his throne laughing, Payback time for @Polygeekery


  • kills Dumbledore

    Child number 2 is a boy. Considering the high pitched screams my daughter and her friends emit whenever they play together, I'm slightly relieved


  • Impossible Mission - B

    @polygeekery said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    It happens to the best of us. Try to think about baseball. Or Margaret Thatcher.

    What about Margaret Thatcher playing baseball?



  • My two-year old was sick this morning. He threw up a couple times. It seemed short-lived, however. He seemed to be fine a little while later.

    My 8-month old has his first itty-bitty tooth coming in. It's the front-left lower incisor.

    On this note, why do people say that children's teeth must be coming in when they act up? Supposedly, it's because their gums are sore where the teeth break through, but in my not-insignificant experience with kids, I've never seen a kid act like his or her teeth/jaw/gums were actually sore when their teeth grew in. Is it just that they start to act up a lot more during the same time? Or have the kids from my experience just been exceptional, so most kids actually do get sore gums?


  • :belt_onion:

    @djls45 Ours definitely seemed out of sorts when they started teething. We'd eventually buy a clue and give them the strawberry teething toy, signing "strawberry" as we gave it to them.



  • @djls45 said in :baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:

    On this note, why do people say that children's teeth must be coming in when they act up? Supposedly, it's because their gums are sore where the teeth break through, but in my not-insignificant experience with kids, I've never seen a kid act like his or her teeth/jaw/gums were actually sore when their teeth grew in. Is it just that they start to act up a lot more during the same time? Or have the kids from my experience just been exceptional, so most kids actually do get sore gums?

    I think we've established that you are part of a transdimensional alien race. It seemed like our kids would start acting up for apparently no reason. After a day or so, we'd figure it out and give them some Anbesol or whatever to numb the gums and they went back to being "normal."


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