:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit



  • @Jaloopa said:

    @Polygeekery said:
    But, since you mention it, we have breakfast for dinner a couple of times a month

    Since my wife is getting morning sickness in the evenings, and has been immediately throwing up anything she eats after about 5pm, we've been eating dinner for lunch. Had some nice pulled pork with jacket potatoes and roasted peppers today.

    For dinner, we have lunch (or just an ice lolly)

    full quote added for context. Left it in Status as it really belong there. - abarker


    Post and replies can be found in The Official Cirno Topic - Because Magus won't shut the hell up, moved at @Magus's request - a


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @Jaloopa said:

    Since my wife is getting morning sickness in the evenings,

    Congrats! I wish her well, morning sickness can be rough. I believe this is your first?

    My 3-week old is sitting on the couch in a Boppy next to me as I work. He cracks me up because every time I make a semi-loud noise (clearing my throat, coughing, etc), he throws his arms up in the air like he is going down a hill on a rollercoaster.


  • BINNED

    @Polygeekery said:

    morning sickness can be rough

    She had it bad in the first trimester, cleared up for a few weeks and now it's back with a vengeance. When I broke my elbows and was pretty much helpless she was pretty bad, so it was a tough few weeks to say the least.

    @Polygeekery said:

    I believe this is your first?

    Yup. Simultaneously excited and slightly terrified


  • sockdevs

    @Jaloopa said:

    Simultaneously excited and slightly terrified

    I hear that's an excellent indicator that you'll do just fine as a parent.

    that's third hand of course as i plan on never becoming a mother. I like being able to give the kids back when i'm done. :-D


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @Jaloopa said:

    Yup. Simultaneously excited and slightly terrified

    That is basically how I felt when we were expecting our first. I know it will not help, because it will always be an unknown, but once you have your child it will all feel pretty natural. Hundreds of thousands of years of caring for children have given us an innate ability to know what to do. The first couple of days you will feel like you are going to break them, then it all feels pretty natural.

    Kids are resilient, they bounce.



  • They have big heads on floppy necks for a little while though.

    I don't have kids, but wouldn't hold any of my friends' kids until they could hold their own head. They seem way too breakable until then.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @loopback0 said:

    They have big heads on floppy necks for a little while though.

    Yeah, it is not a huge concern though. The slightest of precautions prevents them from hurting themselves. If we were too delicate, we would not have survived.

    @loopback0 said:

    I don't have kids, but wouldn't hold any of my friends' kids until they could hold their own head. They seem way too breakable until then.

    Before I had kids of my own, I would not hold other's children because I did not want to. ;)



  • @Jaloopa said:

    Yup. Simultaneously excited and slightly terrified

    Only slightly?

    Congrats.

    Second @Polygeekery's comments....

    Unsolicited advice:
    a) The bit about getting the baby's room ready? Do that. You won't get another chance. You don't have to put up MLP or Dwarf Fortress wallpaper or anything, but do what you're gonna do ahead of time.

    II. Pick a back up name in case the kid doesn't look a "Galahad" when you see him/her the first time. Related, thinking about naming him Galahad? No.

    \4. Changing tables suck. Too much reaching around and twisting, etc., just sit on the floor, put down a pad, plop the kid on his back facing you, and do the change. Kid can't fall off the floor. (Protip - obviously don't do this in a public bathroom).



  • @Polygeekery said:

    Yeah, it is not a huge concern though. The slightest of precautions prevents them from hurting themselves. If we were too delicate, we would not have survived.

    Maybe but when they're in the bobble-headed phase, it feels like their heads will just fall off if given half a chance. With other people's kids, it's best avoiding it.



  • @loopback0 said:

    Maybe but when they're in the bobble-headed phase, it feels like their heads will just fall off if given half a chance

    Yea, but they cuddle and they're the softest at that point, too.

    And their stomachs are still small, so when they hurl on you, it's not as much


  • BINNED

    @Polygeekery said:

    Before I had kids of my own, I would not hold other's children because I did not want to

    I've always liked babies and children. Someone with a newborn came to visit when I was staying with the inlaws, MIL wanted me to hold the baby, probably as some sort of test, and was pleasantly surprised when I happily took it and cradled it.

    @ijij said:

    The bit about getting the baby's room ready? Do that.

    Rented house, so there are limits to what we can do anyway. Currently scouring ebay/freecycle/etc. for stuff, since buying it all new seems like a mug's game.

    @ijij said:

    \4. Changing tables suck. Too much reaching around and twisting, etc., just sit on the floor, put down a pad, plop the kid on his back facing you, and do the change. Kid can't fall off the floor. (Protip - obviously don't do this in a public bathroom).

    I've heard this from a friend who's recently had a baby. Also the hassle of having to go to a specific room rather than having some nappies with you cnd just changing the bloody thing.

    Edge and partial quoting is annoying. Has anyone filed that Discobug yet?



  • @loopback0 said:

    Maybe but when they're in the bobble-headed phase, it feels like their heads will just fall off if given half a chance. With other people's kids, it's best avoiding it.

    When my uncle had his first kid (now my godson) he insisted I held him and wouldn't take no for an answer.
    The first thing that happened was him shouting 'NO, HOLD HIS HEAD STRAIGHTER!!'. I refused to hold him again.



  • @ijij said:

    Changing tables suck.

    I disagree. Loved them. While I changed plenty of diapers on the floor, the table was much more ergonomic for me.

    More unsolicited advice: (Spoilered for the wussy TMI types) [spoiler]Constipation[/spoiler] was a major contributing factor to my wife's morning sickness. Having hard candy around all the time helped keep some of the nausea at bay.


  • BINNED

    @boomzilla said:

    Having hard candy around all the time helped keep some of the nausea at bay

    Coffee is the key here. Most women seem to get an aversion but it's really helping her



  • @Jaloopa said:

    Coffee is the key here. Most women seem to get an aversion but it's really helping her

    Whatever works. The coffee would of course help with the other issue I mentioned, too.


  • BINNED

    @boomzilla said:

    the other issue I mentioned

    She's on the other end of the scale. Also become more of a fartypants than I am, which is saying something.

    Pregnant women are pretty disgusting



  • @Jaloopa said:

    She's on the other end of the scale.

    With all that coffee, no wonder!



  • @Jaloopa said:

    Pregnant women are pretty disgusting

    ... and you haven't even gotten to the whole "birth" thing yet...

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

    2nd Protip: when you do get to the birth thing... yes. it is your fault. All of it.

    She might forgive you eventually. This will be measured in years.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @ijij said:

    Second @Polygeekery's comments....

    Some more helpful bits of advice:

    Stock up on diapers, wipes and formula ahead of time. We did it incrementally by buying a box of each when we went to Costco to help spread out the cost. Those first few months, you will go through a lot of each.

    Ask your friends for advice on bottles, pick one type, and buy a lot of them. They eat frequently, and you don't want to have to wash bottles 3 times a day. You also don't want to have multiple different types of bottles and all of their associated parts lying around. You will lose pieces (they are small, they occasionally a piece gets sacrificed in the garbage disposal.

    My wife wanted to try different types of bottles and all of that. We ended up with all these different types and trying to fit all the associated pieces together was a PITA. I settled on one type and got rid fo the rest. Simple is better, I like Medela as there are only three pieces: bottle, nipple, retaining ring.

    After the baby is there, force yourselves to get back out in society. Buy your wife a spa package or make her go have drinks with her friends. You are a parent now, but you still need time to be "you". Force yourself to do it, or else you won't. Especially get your wife to do so. Also, get grandma to come over and go have a date night. You are parents first and foremost, but you also need to be husband and wife.

    @ijij said:

    Yea, but they cuddle and they're the softest at that point, too.

    And newborns make the most relaxing noises. If I kick back on the recliner with my son, I will fall asleep within minutes.

    @Jaloopa said:

    Currently scouring ebay/freecycle/etc. for stuff, since buying it all new seems like a mug's game.

    Good call. It is easy to spend too much. Most of the stuff they will not use for long. No one needs a $1500 changing table or crib.

    @Jaloopa said:

    I've heard this from a friend who's recently had a baby. Also the hassle of having to go to a specific room rather than having some nappies with you cnd just changing the bloody thing.

    I would say yes and no. We always keep a basket of diapers in the living room with a changing pad next to it. No sense going to the nursery every time you want to change a diaper, but I find changing tables very convenient. They give you lots of storage and:

    @boomzilla said:

    the table was much more ergonomic for me.

    :thumbsup: Especially so considering I have a back surgery in my past.

    @Jaloopa said:

    Pregnant women are pretty disgusting

    Also, yes. But at the same time they are amazingly beautiful.

    @boomzilla said:

    The coffee would of course help with the other issue I mentioned, too.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    After the baby is there, force yourselves to get back out in society. Buy your wife a spa package or make her go have drinks with her friends. You are a parent now, but you still need time to be "you". Force yourself to do it, or else you won't. Especially get your wife to do so. Also, get grandma to come over and go have a date night. You are parents first and foremost, but you also need to be husband and wife.

    +1 :thumbsup:

    @Polygeekery said:

    I would say yes and no. We always keep a basket of diapers in the living room with a changing pad next to it. No sense going to the nursery every time you want to change a diaper, but I find changing tables very convenient. They give you lots of storage and:

    boomzilla:
    the table was much more ergonomic for me.

    Especially so considering I have a back surgery in my past.

    I can barely get up from the floor, and my back is awful too, but the twisting and reaching... hate changing tables.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    Stock up on diapers, wipes and formula ahead of time

    This.

    Also, don't forget your own needs (like toilet paper).

    And, if you're going with formula (have one package at home even if you are not, since the milk might not come immediately), have a water kettle where you can set the temperature. We used to boil the water in the evening and prepare packages with formula for the night, then just re-heat to 40 degrees C, pour in a prepared package, shake, and plug in. Much easier to do while still half asleep.

    Oh, and when it comes to advice: you know best. It's your baby.

    Edit: when it comes to changing tables, never ever ever look away without keeping one hand on the baby. You never know when they will manage to flip over on their own.


  • mod

    @Polygeekery said:

    It is easy to spend too much. Most of the stuff they will not use for long. No one needs a $1500 changing table or crib.

    That's why you buy a waist high dresser that they can use for years and that can double as a changing table. If it's long enough, then you can put everything on top and there's no need to twist and turn – like @ijij complains about – because everything ends up in arms reach. Then there are those cribs that can be converted to toddler beds and then to twin or full beds, so again they last for years.

    Or you can just do what we did and get the crib and changing table from your older siblings who are done having kids. Total cost: $0.



  • @abarker said:

    Total cost: $0.

    It probably costs something to transport it to your house.



  • When people realise you have need for their baby gear that they don't need anymore, they practically drop it off at your doorstep.

    The cost is in getting rid of the other three sets that you were also given.



  • @abarker said:

    That's why you buy a waist high dresser that they can use for years and that can double as a changing table.

    We used a combination of that, plus the attachment that went over the playpen. Something like this:

    Also, if you were smart enough to think ahead and get your supplies together before you start changing the baby, no twisting was required.


  • mod

    @ben_lubar said:

    It probably costs something to transport it to your house.

    Not any more than it costs to pick up the same items at Babies 'R' Us. But at Babies 'R' Us, you have to pay for the items as well.



  • @boomzilla said:

    Also, if you were smart enough to think ahead and get your supplies together before you start changing the baby, no twisting was required.

    All right, that's it... my vertebrae are rustled, or jimmied, or whatever back pieces do... :imp:

    I am apparently the only person who finds that leaning over a table and lifting a thirty-pound person by the ankles to de-and-re-nappy them is a strain...

    Quiz: do you put the um, Discourse-d diaper near the kids head (ick) or near the feet (zoom to floor!, also ick).... FLOOR IS EASIER!

    Jaloopa: YMMV.


    Filed under: Changing table lacks C#'s complete documentation



  • @ijij said:

    Quiz: do you put the um, Discourse-d diaper near the kids head (ick) or near the feet (zoom to floor!, also ick).... FLOOR IS EASIER!

    In the case of the portable table, typically near the feet. But note that one is recessed, so it would not fall out. At the actual furniture, I had a diaper genie handy, so the diaper usually went right in there.

    ATTN @Jaloopa, the diaper genie sort of device may be the most important baby accessory, at least once the kid stops nursing:


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    Also, don't forget your own needs (like toilet paper).

    Also, yes. Add in easy meals, etc. When we had our first, one of the most useful things we had was a Costco membership so we could buy all the staples in bulk. It is now one of our gifts to new parents if they have a warehouse store nearby to them.

    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    And, if you're going with formula (have one package at home even if you are not, since the milk might not come immediately), have a water kettle where you can set the temperature. We used to boil the water in the evening and prepare packages with formula for the night, then just re-heat to 40 degrees C, pour in a prepared package, shake, and plug in. Much easier to do while still half asleep.

    Or, you could get lucky like we did and have babies that are not picky about temperature. We just made them up, kept them in the fridge door and grab one. No heating required. It also makes feeding in public a lot easier.

    TL;DR: See if your baby will accept cold formula/breastmilk. It is not required that it be warmed to body temp.

    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    Oh, and when it comes to advice: you know best. It's your baby.

    :thumbsup:

    @abarker said:

    Or you can just do what we did and get the crib and changing table from your older siblings who are done having kids. Total cost: $0.

    :thumbsup:

    We used the changing table for a while, then switched over to a dresser we had with a changing table mattress on top. One of the ones with a concave surface so they are less likely to be able to roll away. But yes, still don't take your hand off of them.

    Be very skeptical of baby products. You could go in to a baby store and spend $100K if you wanted to, but you don't need most of that crap. We humans raised babies for thousands of years with nothing more than a basket woven from reeds. Of course we bought some "gadgety" stuff, but it was soon shelved.

    And the best advice of all @Jaloopa, don't miss a thing because they grow up fast. Everyone tells you that, so it becomes repetitive and ignored, but it is so true. I can look back at pictures of my son from 6 months ago and he looks so much younger then. You see them every day, so it doesn't seem like it, but they grow up very fast.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    We used the changing table for a while, then switched over to a dresser we had with a changing table mattress on top. One of the ones with a concave surface so they are less likely to be able to roll away. But yes, still don't take your hand off of them.

    Yep. The pad surface itself is vinyl or something, so you can simply wipe it down. We had multiple terry cloth covers so it was easy to pull one off and put another on as necessary (which was, of course, often).



  • @Polygeekery said:

    And the best advice of all @Jaloopa, don't miss a thing because they grow up fast. Everyone tells you that, so it becomes repetitive and ignored, but it is so true. I can look back at pictures of my son from 6 months ago and he looks so much younger then. You see them every day, so it doesn't seem like it, but they grow up very fast.

    ++

    We started a diary. Not someting you write in every day sort of thing, but my wife used it as therapy while nursing, when she had a good day, when she had a terrible day. Later on, we wrote (still do, for that matter) things the kids did or said, when they were sick, etc. Even later, the kids started drawing pictures in them. Today you can open them on any page and get instantly thrown back in time. They are some of our most precious possessions. The "when they were sick" turned out to be good for reference, for example when we suspected that they had been sick more often than usual during one period.



  • ... And by now you're sorry you even hinted about your fortunate family circumstances :-/


  • mod

    @boomzilla said:

    In the case of the portable table, typically near the feet. But note that one is recessed, so it would not fall out. At the actual furniture, I had a diaper genie handy, so the diaper usually went right in there.

    ATTN @Jaloopa, the diaper genie sort of device may be the most important baby accessory

    #QFT


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @boomzilla said:

    ATTN @Jaloopa, the diaper genie sort of device may be the most important baby accessory, at least once the kid stops nursing:

    We use the Diaper Champ. Similar concept, but it takes standard kitchen trash bags instead of the expensive Diaper Genie liners.

    Pros: Cheaper consumables.

    Cons: When you put in a diaper, you get more of a whiff than you do with a Diaper Genie.

    A friend and I had our first kids at roughly the same time, and they transitioned to more solid foods during the summer. We both joked that we should buy old second-hand chest freezers to put the dirty diapers in because our garages smelled absolutely horrible from keeping the trash cans in there in the heat. -blech-



  • If you buy pacifiers buy more than one. Best if you buy all of them. They are either jinxed so that they disappear at the most inopportune moment or designed thusly that they have a self-destruct mechanism which turns them to dust come nightfall.


  • mod

    @Mikael_Svahnberg said:

    We started a diary. Not someting you write in every day sort of thing, but my wife used it as therapy while nursing, when she had a good day, when she had a terrible day. Later on, we wrote (still do, for that matter) things the kids did or said, when they were sick, etc. Even later, the kids started drawing pictures in them. Today you can open them on any page and get instantly thrown back in time. They are some of our most precious possessions. The "when they were sick" turned out to be good for reference, for example when we suspected that they had been sick more often than usual during one period.

    We do this as well, one for each kid, that way they have a bunch of memories from their childhood when they are older. We actually keep one specifically for things they say that make you laugh or go :wtf:. That set includes each kid's first word, because they all inevitably want to know. Seriously, we get asked by our two oldest every few months, "What was my first word?"



  • Diaper Champ/Genie

    They get to the point where the genie itself is stinking.... Got rid of it.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @Jaloopa said:

    Rented house

    Do you have a washer and dryer? If you don't, buy an obscene amount of: burp cloths, baby blankets and baby clothes. For burp cloths, when you look at how many you have and think, "That is a retarded amount of burp cloths", go buy some more. We use cloth diapers for the purpose. Super absorbent and durable along with being cheap.

    If you do, and you have had it for a while, budget for a new one 2-3 years from now. Babies kill washing machines.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    Cons: When you put in a diaper, you get more of a whiff than you do with a Diaper Genie.

    Yeah, they special bags are a little bit thicker that that and had something additional to keep odor down. Was the only game in town, as far as I knew at the time. Also, it's not really a bag, but really a giant tube that you tie off to close.


  • mod

    @Polygeekery said:

    Cons: When you put in a diaper, you get more of a whiff than you do with a Diaper Genie.

    To help with that kind of issue, we keep a pouch of activated carbon near the diaper pail. It helps a lot.

    @Polygeekery said:

    For burp cloths, when you look at how many you have and think, "That is a retarded amount of burp cloths", go buy some more. We use cloth diapers for the purpose.

    ++

    @Polygeekery said:

    If you do, and you have had it for a while, budget for a new one 2-3 years from now. Babies kill washing machines.

    Ours has survived 3 kids over the last 6 years. YMMV.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @boomzilla said:

    Yeah, they special bags are a little bit thicker that that and had something additional to keep odor down. Was the only game in town, as far as I knew at the time. Also, it's not really a bag, but really a giant tube that you tie off to close.

    They also twist around each individual diaper, which helps keep the scent down a lot. I have no doubt they are worth it, but they are also more expensive to operate.



  • @Rhywden said:

    If you buy pacifiers buy more than one. Best if you buy all of them. They are either jinxed so that they disappear at the most inopportune moment or designed thusly that they have a self-destruct mechanism which turns them to dust come nightfall.

    First two were unpacified....
    Third underwent pacification in the NICU.
    Do Not Want.
    (But yes, do not be surprised if child will accept only the Best™ [ie his brand])



  • @Polygeekery said:

    I have no doubt they are worth it, but they are also more expensive to operate.

    I suppose so, but I don't recall it being that much. A single generic refill seems to be about $5 at Walmart. I don't recall how often I had to change those, but couldn't have been more than once a month or so.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @Rhywden said:

    If you buy pacifiers buy more than one. Best if you buy all of them. They are either jinxed so that they disappear at the most inopportune moment or designed thusly that they have a self-destruct mechanism which turns them to dust come nightfall.

    Both of our boys would not take a pacifier. We did not want them to, but on those nights when they lost their shit and nothing will console them, we tried it hoping that it would work. Nope, no pacifier for them.


  • mod

    @ijij said:

    First two were unpacified.... Third underwent pacification in the NICU.Do Not Want. (But yes, do not be surprised if child will accept only the Best™ [ie his brand])

    A pacifier is easier to take away than a thumb.

    Our first two used pacifiers. The oldest gave it up on her own, the second made a deal to give it up for a trip to Build-a-Bear. The youngest never would suck on anything plastic, silicon, or rubber. When the time comes, it's going to be difficult to wean her off her thumb.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @boomzilla said:

    I suppose so, but I don't recall it being that much.

    You should know by now, I am a cheap bastard.

    @boomzilla said:

    I don't recall how often I had to change those, but couldn't have been more than once a month or so.

    Are you sure you did not buy the "Diaper Genie - Dumpster sized edition"? Or do the refills last for several emptyings of the pail?



  • @Polygeekery said:

    Are you sure you did not buy the "Diaper Genie - Dumpster sized edition"?

    Pretty sure it was the only edition. But I'm talking about the "bag" refills themselves, not how often I emptied diapers. When it filled up, it had little blades to cut the plastic so you could tie the top off and the new bottom for the next round. Eventually the plastic cylinder / bag ran out and you'd have to put another one in.

    @Polygeekery said:

    Or do the refills last for several emptyings of the pail?

    Yes. Very much so. the pail itself was something like 2 feet tall, so it could handle a fair number of dirty diapers, especially at the newborn / infant stage.

    @Polygeekery said:

    You should know by now, I am a cheap bastard.

    Not as cheap as I am. This, however, is something I have no regrets paying for.


  • mod

    @Polygeekery said:

    Are you sure you did not buy the "Diaper Genie - Dumpster sized edition"? Or do the refills last for several emptyings of the pail?

    We use a Diaper Genie II. The refills last for several emptyings. I've never tried to keep track of how many "several" is, but I'd guess 4 or 5.



  • @abarker said:

    A pacifier is easier to take away than a thumb.

    Easier... paging @loopback0 ;)

    Never had to worry about thumbs either.
    Never thought about it really, but would have assumed that thumbs get used when pacifiers are removed... Dodged a bullet there, I guess.

    Preemptive EDIT: rereading yours, didn't need pacifiers for that, first two had access to nursing.


  • mod

    @ijij said:

    Preemptive EDIT: rereading yours, didn't need pacifiers for that, first two had access to nursing.

    All three of my kids were nursed. The pacifiers and thumb are self-soothing mechanisms, good for helping calm down after a tantrum or settle down when waking in the middle of the night. Nursing is not a replacement for self-soothing, so I'm not sure what your point is.


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