The great title debate or suprapositititititionstory-expialidociousnesses



  • Ok, so when someone gives me a hotfix to merge into my code and someone on my team knows they changed something in a file I didn't touch, and the fact that we aren't committing our changes on the delivery side.

    I'm going to blame Steve.

    Steve is the little monkey in my head that randomly takes over and fucks things up. Mostly because he isn't psychic like I am and knows all the little changes that have been made.

    Why the fuck is an item that is so vital to performance not configurable so it can scale.

    Dammit Steve.

    I mean, moving headers and recompiling is coding to client.

    Die! in a burning! fire.

    That's why I need combustible lemons. And that's why we went to the moon.

    I know this probably doesn't make sense to anyone, but I have to get this out.

    The fucking cake, is a fucking lie.

    I mean, we never get the same pristine environment we got on projects in college.
    But this is lame as fucking hell.



  • What.



  • @xaade said:

    I'm going to blame Steve.

    Did Steve write this post?



  • I lot of information was left out of this post.
    This is purposeful.
    I'm sure you will find this irritating.

    @DiscourseBot



  • Dammit Steve!



  • :wtf:
    @xaade said:

    This is purposeful.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    What

    Exactly this.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    What.

    megaWhat



  • I cracked.

    I'm stable now.



  • Translation for everyone else.

    There was a value as a #define in a header that was changed specifically for this project. This value controlled the size of an inter-system data buffer.
    I was unaware of the change.

    While trying to resolve a persistent problem the software team sent a hotfix to the delivery team.
    That hotfix altered the header that we manually changed. I'm still unaware of this change.

    I was tasked to merge the hotfix in because it came down as source code.

    Merged it and delivered to the client.

    It broke a problem we previously fixed because I walked over our manual change.

    But because there's no source control or log of what we are manually changing in source, I had no idea or precognition that this could happen.

    So why is a perimeter so vital to performance not a configurable value, instead of hard coded?


    Coding to client needs to die in a burning fire, with combustible lemons, that we have because of moon dust.

    The cake is a lie, college (in which professors had us merge code changes into a repository) never prepared me for this.


    but of course, at the immediate moment I was totally pissed off because I spent a week merging in the hotfix.


    As my grandmother so famously said while holding one of her grandchildren and rocking and humming a monotone note that would put her in a straight-jacket in any other family....

    ... we're doing this for a purpose.



  • i'm curious. what's the reason behind no repository?
    what drives a person into such crazyness?



  • I didn't do it! I was on the moon! With Steve!

    Eddie Izzard - Lies – 01:19
    — Snelis stuff n things



  • There is a repository on the delivery side, just no one is committing to it as they change things.
    So there's no way to notice that anyone made a manual change. No way to mark a diff as from us.





  • Configurable tuning vars are convenient, even if the defaults are in code. Then they persist over new code pushes, and you can see they're there when you look at the env.



  • @xaade said:

    There is a repository on the delivery side, just no one is committing to it as they change things.

    @boomzilla said:

    Oh, you didn't commit anything there? Then I guess there's nothing for me to change here. Let me know when that changes.

    <not empty





  • so, if i get it right.
    there's a repository, but only for the code to be delivered. in the meanwhile the merges between devs are done by hand?



  • No, there's a repository.
    We branch off of it for delivery.

    But on most of our delivery projects, there's no process discipline to use the repository correctly.



  • I was reminded of this



  • oh. try to avoid killing people, or listening too much to steve.



  • @xaade said:

    I mean, we never get the same pristine environment we got on projects in college. But this is lame as fucking hell.

    That's why they refer to academic institutions as "ivory towers". In that arena programmers don't have to worry about :hankey: like communication errors and database or drive faults. Programmers just get to write software...pure, :star2: and clean, and never worry about the :hankey: that the real world throws at software.

    One of my best experience stories involves a donor management software package from an ivory-tower type place. The customer built a daily batch of donations, and at end of day, those donations would be merged into the customer account history and then the batch would be deleted. One fine day, the account history table got full part way through the run...and since there were no checks on success or failure of the database insert, the remaining donations in the batch were recorded in the bit bucket. Then the program deleted the input batch, just like usual.

    Result? A whole day of customer work flushed into the bit bucket...unrecoverable. Because the software maker ignores little details like errors.



  • That just means we need to code against environments that simulate errors.



  • @xaade said:

    Steve is the little monkey in my head that randomly takes over and fucks things up.

    That explains so much of your writing.

    Seriously. Do you write your documentation like that? Do you talk to people like that? Do you at least sometimes take a second to look at what you write and actually think whether it's comprehensible to other people?

    Look, if I wanted to read mind-bending, puzzling, stream-of-consciousness writing, I'd read fucking Ulysses.



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    Do you write your documentation like that? Do you talk to people like that? Do you

    Do you speak to your mother with that filthy mouth?
    sorry, what you wrote just reminded me of this

    @Maciejasjmj said:

    actually think whether it's comprehensible to other people

    The goggles, they do nothing.
    careful not to woosh

    @Maciejasjmj said:

    Look, if I wanted to read

    But you did.

    And I didn't even ask you to.

    But maybe I should check my privilege, because I must be holding some kind of microaggression against people that feel compelled to read everything they see and then bitch about it.

    Even Blakey reserved his rants.

    but I forgive you

    @Maciejasjmj said:

    That explains so much of your writing.

    TOXIC!!!

    Objection!

    @Maciejasjmj said:

    Seriously.

    Did I somehow fail to suggest the post was anything but?

    After I chilled, there's a perfectly rational post explaining everything.

    Mandatory small text?



  • @Jarry said:

    listening too much to steve.

    It can't be helped.

    Steve is who I listen to when I don't have the information necessary to not fuck up.
    In other words, Steve is responsible for the mistakes I make because there was absolutely no way to know I was about to make a mistake.

    In other other words.
    Steve is who I blame when I don't want to blame my co-workers, or the guy that quit a long time ago, or some unforeseeable act of Godact of Satan.

    Putting humor into your frustrations is one way to lighten the mood.



  • @xaade said:

    That's why I need combustible lemons

    One of my best friends is A Combustible Lemon.

    By which I mean, that's his username on My Other ForumTM, and he explained what it meant once, so it does make sense to me.


  • :belt_onion:

    @xaade said:

    Putting humor into your frustrations is one way to lighten the mood.

    And yet you failed to set the title to "Who needs a suppository"?

    Dissapoint.

    No, I won't do it. My policy on changing titles is strict. This thread has not satisfied the requirements.


  • sockdevs

    Plus it used to have that title anyway :stuck_out_tongue:

    [s]Well, it did until I changed it to what it is now (as of posting).[/s] Changed it again :smile:



  • So it's just "Or death" then?


  • mod

    @RaceProUK said:

    Plus it used to have that title anyway

    Yes, but it was @loopback0 who gave it that title, not @xaade.


  • sockdevs

    Not debating that :stuck_out_tongue:

    …yeah, yeah, I admit it: I changed the title again


  • mod

    But @Onyx was saying that @xaade should have used that title originally.

    I R confused


  • :belt_onion:

    Me, too.

    Well, kinda. I guess @RaceProUK is saying that title was actually used at one point. I didn't see it, though. And I'm sure it wasn't the original title.


  • mod

    @Onyx said:

    And I'm sure it wasn't the original title.

    See:

    @abarker said:

    Yes, but it was @loopback0 who gave it that title, not @xaade.

    It was the second title.



  • @xaade said:

    Putting humor into your frustrations is one way to lighten the mood.

    and thus, a site called thedailyWTF was born



  • There is no humor here.



  • I am not permitted to view the requested resource.


  • mod

    @loopback0 said:

    I am not permitted to view the requested resource.

    In Soviet Russia, requested resource view you.



  • Not if Soviet Russia uses Discourse.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I have no sense of humor. Sorry.

    FTFY



  • The tone of your posts has changed markedly since you gave up your wolf avatar. Are you building up to a manic episode? If so, get more sleep. Those things will cost you a ridiculous amount of time.



  • Have you been drinking liquid asbestos?



  • @flabdablet said:

    get more sleep. Those things will cost you a ridiculous amount of time

    You're right. Sleep does cost a ridiculous amount of time.



  • @flabdablet said:

    gave up your wolf

    @flabdablet said:

    manic episode

    Nope, just harder to take myself seriously with the new avatar.

    I have to look at it all the time too.

    Of course, my favorite character ever is Sheogorath.... both of him....



  • @xaade said:

    Sleep does cost a ridiculous amount of time.

    Not as much as involuntary admission to a psych hospital. Be gentle with your body, it's the only one you have.



  • @flabdablet said:

    Be gentle with your body

    That's what she said....


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