Crazy ISP Stories

  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    I feel like we need a thread to share batshit crazy stories about their ISPs.

  • @Polygeekery said:

    I feel like we need a thread to share batshit crazy stories about their ISPs.

    Okay, I'll start, and the powers that be can Jeff this if they want.

    My mother had 5 Mbps DSL through Qwest, but she routinely got less than 100k. Also, Microsoft services and domains were inexplicably blocked. Xbox LIVE didn't work, MSN didn't work, didn't work, Windows Updates and Windows Activation didn't work, etc. One time I had to drive over to her town (I lived four hours away at the time) and take her freshly-repaved laptop around town and search for unsecured Wi-Fi that wasn't on Qwest just to activate Windows for her.

    And after one of those slowdowns where her line rate was only 38k and stayed that way for weeks, we called a tech from the phone company. We had to call multiple times to convince them something was wrong, no rebooting the modem does NOT fix it, no her PC was not laden down with viruses, and we need someone out here. It took them six weeks to send a tech!

    He showed up, checked some stuff, and said "Everything looks good!" I popped up and showed him that we were only getting 38k, and he said "Well I'm just a phone tech, I don't know anything about the Internet" and he left.

    I had my mother switch over to Cox Cable after that. 50+ Mbps and often goes well above what she pays for.

  • Fake News

  • I'm still being hunted by some debt reclaiming service because of the following.

    Some five years ago I decided to move from an apartment to a house1. We were using a Vodafone router which also came with a 3G USB dongle. When I called Vodafone to cancel the service, I was told that while they transferred the DSL line I could use the 3G connection without added fees. Of course, I moved, connected the router with the dongle and kept on browsing happily. After two weeks I was worried, but I don't remember if I called them or what.
    End of month comes and I receive a bill for 400€ which I of course didn't pay. They said this wasn't so and that they didn't have any registry about my line transfer request, so I had to pay them.

    [1] Believe me, when in this situation, cancel the service and sign up again.

  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    I was being facetious, but sure. πŸ˜„

    We are with Comcast Business, and for the most part I am happy, but there have been...incidents.

    Most recently, while there was construction going on in our neighborhood that involved digging up pretty much all of the streets, I was sitting in my office when the internet went out.

    Shit, they must have dug through a line or something. Oh well, I have some work that can be done without internet access, so I get to it. A few minutes later the door bell rings. I answer and it is a Comcast guy. Well, that was quick...I had not even called them yet...

    He tells me he is there to collect my modem and other equipment due to non-payment on the account. Well, that is news to me as I had just recently paid the bill and always paid as soon as I got it. I tell him he is mistaken. He tells me that I had to have known as my service had been shut off for over a month. Uhmmmmm, no, I was using it up until he disconnected from the pole.

    Finally, I get him to call in and something was messed up that caused my account to be scheduled for disconnection. Maybe they offshored that part of their systems? Regardless, I tell him that my service had not been interrupted, etc.

    Come to find out, when they "disconnect" your service they do not shut down your modem or anything like that which would make sense. In my case they blocked my access to their DNS servers. As I run a local DNS server that falls back to Google DNS servers and not theirs...I had no idea that all of this was coming, and that is a pretty silly way to shut off someone's internet access. It is effectively equivalent to this:

    Edit: More correctly, when they shut off your service, any requests coming from your IP to their DNS servers get redirected to this webpage:

    It is still a silly way to shut off your service.

  • I work for an ISP - I couldn't even post the crazy stories I know.

  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @Eldelshell said:

    I'm still being hunted by some debt reclaiming service because of the following.

    I am pretty sure that I have posted this before elsewhere, but I have a similar story.

    I used to live in one of the suburbs here, and I was with an ISP that is no more as they were bought out by Comcast after I moved. In the interim I was with Bright House. When we moved in to this house, I call up Comcast and they setup our service no problem. No deposit, no nothing.

    Fast forward ~3 months, I get the bill from the mailbox one day and open it as I am walking back down the driveway and it is for some ungodly amount. IIRC it was ~$1,000? I am floored, I call them and they say that the defunct cable company that they bought out showed that I never returned my equipment when I cancelled my service (which I had) and that I owed them for 2 DVR boxes and a modem. Immediately, I am incensed.

    I get the run-around for weeks about this. Everyone I call cannot help me, their supervisors cannot help me, the best they offer is to set it up on a payment plan. More than once I probably told them they could fornicate with their payment plans.

    One day it occurs to me that I have a good friend who is in corporate sales and his company pays for his access to a database of very important people. I phone him up and ask him if he has the number for the CEO of Comcast. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. He gives it to me as long as I promise to never tell anyone where I got it from, like he will be kicked out of the sales club when the Gestapo breaks down my door. Sure, whatever. πŸ˜„

    It is around noon when I call, and I swear this next part happens: I was expecting to get his secretary or something, but maybe she was out to lunch and the CEO of Comcast answered the freaking phone. After a bit of confusion on his part, I quickly and politely explain my situation and he asks for my number and says he will have someone call me right back. Less than 5 minutes later my phone rings and it is a woman asking for my customer # and such and she tells me that the charges will be removed from my next bill and if I have any further issues on this matter to please call her and gives me her number.

    When in doubt, go straight to the top.

  • And here's a few more from my old area. Back in rural Missouri, or rather a town of roughly 10,000 in the middle of rural Missouri, we (me and 5 other college students or graduates) had Embarq DSL which was decent. We got 10 Mbps because we were only three blocks from their office and that was also the fastest residential connection available for anyone. The competitor was Suddenlink Cable which was the hilariously-evil ISP. Suddenlink was 5 Mbps max on a good day if it there an away game and nobody was in town, leaving you as the only cable user, otherwise 500 - 1000k with 700 ms ping and with very high packet loss. Literally unusable for anything but basic email 75% of the time. Just not reliable enough and normally not fast enough for gaming, Netflix, or YouTube.

    This was a college town and we'd play a lot of Xbox LIVE with other students in town, and since Suddenlink was quite a bit cheaper than Embarq most students got cable. Those on Suddenlink could rarely go through 1 - 2 games of Halo or Call of Duty without a disconnect, to the point that the phrase "He got Suddenlink'd" was a well-known local euphemism.

    We had Suddenlink at work, too, but it was business fiber because we did web hosting. It was something like $2,000 per month for 20 Mbps, and the joys of their wonderful customer service. One time we had an outage and customers started calling in because their sites were down. We called Suddenlink and they said they knew nothing about it. Right then a coworker looked out front and saw a Suddenlink truck with a big spool of fiber on our curb, and talked to him to find that today was a planned downtime to replace a segment of line. Gee, thanks for the warning! The phones were off the hooks that day but thankfully we didn't have any SLA's to abide by.

    So, anyway, back to Embarq, they were pretty good and rarely had outages, and the few times we got disconnected and I called it in they'd immediately say "Yep, there's an outage in your area, we're already aware of it and working on a fix."

    Well they got bought out by CenturyLink and customer service took a dive. As I was moving away, they couldn't just transfer the account, I had to cancel and my roommates had to sign up for new service. I couldn't even just give them the modem, I had to pay to ship the modem back to CenturyLink and then they reboxed it and sent it right back to my roommate. undefined

    When they sent a tech out to set service up again, he couldn't get it working. He claimed he couldn't find anything wrong and it must be a problem with the house's phone wiring, and since that wasn't phone company property they'd have to charge a boatload to come into the house and fix it. Of course this was nonsense because it had worked a few days prior when everything was under my name.

    I don't recall the full story as my roommate had told me, but I know he fought with this tech for the better part of a week. The tech would come out, mess with some stuff out in the phone box, claim he couldn't figure out what's wrong, and then leave until called again. Finally my roommate went out and looked at the phone box and noticed an unplugged RJ11 phone cable. He plugged it in and the Internet worked. My friend tried to get the guy's name or employee ID to report him, but after finding out the resident had done his job for him the tech quit answering phone calls and did everything he could to avoid contact from my roommates.

  • Holy wall of text Batman! Oops.

  • @Polygeekery said:

    When in doubt, go straight to the top.

    If someone emails our CEO (finding their email is trivial) with certain key words then it gets filtered to a specific team to jump all over it. I assume this is the same other places.

  • @Eldelshell said:

    Believe me, when in this situation, cancel the service and sign up again.


    I moved to a new flat and wanted to relocate the ADSL service. Called the ISP, agreed to a new rate (same speed, less money) and told them that I still want to use the same cable modem, and yes, I can unscrew it from the wall at the old place myself, just let me know when you can install it at the new place. They were supposed to call me and schedule a tech to install the modem at the new place. Note: I left the modem connected at the old place until they shut down the service there.

    A month passes and I get a bill for internet service at the old and the new place (also the relocation fee), so I call the ISP and explain this problem. The lad on the phone says that the double bill is surely a mistake which will be fixed ASAP. So I ask about the relocation I ordered a month before. He says that the modem is online and working, and what's my problem. You dense mother πŸ‘‰ πŸ‘Œ , yes it is working but at the old address, which kind of ruins the concept of relocation!

    It took them two whole months to sort everything out.

    Also: the hand icons don't align as they should.


    @eskel said:

    Also: the hand icons don't align as they should.

    πŸ‘‰ πŸ‘Œ

  • That reminds me of text alignment via   πŸ˜„

  • @eskel said:

    You dense mother [point at ok handsign]


  • Fake News

    Where's :vsign:?

  • πŸ˜›

  • Fake News

    Where's the other V-sign? πŸ˜‰

  • Was the icon selection here inspired by UNICODE, or the other way around?


    @eskel said:

    Was the icon selection here inspired by UNICODE, or the other way around?

    It's emoji. Which are now in Unicode. So... both?

  • SockDev

    @eskel said:

    Was the icon selection here inspired by UNICODE, or the other way around?

    You're assuming there was logic and thought put into it…

    <!-- Emoji'd by MobileEmoji 0.2.0-->

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