🏥 Random Injury Stories
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How the hell do you people get so badly mangled?
Can't speak for others, but in my case, the first was stupidity, the second mechanical failure
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baseball
Mine's not as bad as yours, but...
My sophomore year of high school, I was on the JV team and playing left field. It was a very gray and windy day. With a runner on second, the batter hit a line drive to my left. Somehow, he managed to hit it without spin, so like a knuckleball, it was jinking around all over the place. Combined with the wind, it was a bitch. Also, being on a dead run, the ball tipped off the webbing of my glove and hit me in the right eye socket.
I went down immediately and didn't lose consciousness for very long. Eye obviously swelled up to huge proportions. The emergency room didn't find anything actually broken or even a concussion, though I did throw up from the bleeding inside my nose going back down my throat. A guy a couple of beds over came in for chest pains and then had a heart attack and died while I was waiting.
When the swelling eventually went down, the entire white of the eye was red, which was kind of cool.
The silver lining of the story was that the ball bounced off my head and back to our shortstop who threw the runner out at home. 7-6-2!
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How the hell do you people get so badly mangled?
Some of us are just lucky. I'm an expert at crashing dirt bikes, grew up on a farm where I'd been chased by bulls, worked around Honey Locust trees, crawled through barbed wire fences daily, drove the farm truck like a maniac when line-of-sight to the house was broken, and operated chainsaws when I was 13. Then my college and post-college days consisted of all kinds of pyromaniac shenanigans often involving high-powered rifles (and by high-powered I mean magnum rifle cartridges, not the puny little AR-15) and various explosive-like materials resulting in small mushroom clouds that somehow never got the police after us.
And somehow I have never had a serious injury, not even a broken bone.
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fractured my tibia mid-shaft.
I learned a few things from the whole experience
My friend's first ever skydive went wrong, and he ended up corkscrewing into the ground from about 50 feet up.
That day I learned that
- I do not wish ever again to view the bottom end of a friend's tibia in a natural outdoor setting
- paramedics carry some fucking amazing drugs
- my local hospital cannot be relied upon to avoid making a man with a newly separated pelvis sit on it all night
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I acknowledge myself most thoroughly upstaged.
I hope he's ok now.
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i think you win this game........ ouch.
was the friend ok in the end?
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hit me in the right eye socket.
When I was 5-ish, I was playing with a couple of neighbor kids in the next-door neighbor kid's backyard. We had some long, straight stick we were throwing like spears. One throw went wrong, and the end of the stick hit the edge of my eye socket. Blood everywhere. One look and my parents rushed me to the ER. No serious damage, not even stitches required, just a butterfly bandage, but a cm to the right and my left eye would now be made of glass.
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the entire white of the eye was red, which was kind of cool.
That happened to me after a leech got stuck on my eyeball.
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Just reading that makes my quills want to curl so tightly they turn into little cones…
I do hope the poor soul made a full recovery.
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was the friend ok in the end?
This was all about 25 years ago, and both his ankles still predict the weather. But given that one leg got the foot mostly torn off at the ankle, and the other one had both tibia and fibula shattered, he's recovered astoundingly well.
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If by that you mean he can walk, then that is a minor miracle in its own right
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He walks fine. Uneven terrain gave him a bit of grief for a few years.
Oh, and because this is Australia, he didn't even get bankrupted.
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He walks fine. Uneven terrain gave him a bit of grief for a few years.
Understandably; I imagine his gait was affected
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Oh, here's a good one. No actual injury, but the potential for injury or death was very frightening in hindsight.
We were at a friend's (we'll call him Friend #1) house a few miles outside of town, mostly plinking around with some Airsoft guns. His house had only cropland and a river for a mile behind it, no houses or anything, so it functioned as our local shooting range.
One guy, we'll call him Friend #2, was with us that day. Most of us were locals from the rural community, but he was here for college and came from Kansas City. Good guy, good friend to all of us, but definitely not cut from the same cloth as us country bumpkins who had .38 Specials strapped to our hips before we even left the womb.
So we get bored with the Airsoft stuff and Friend #1 runs inside to grab his AR-15, a Smith & Wesson M&P15 I believe. He hands it off to Friend #3 while he runs back inside to use the restroom or something and lets us do the safety briefing because we know Friend #2 had never shot before.
Before handing the firearm off, Friend #3 tells Friend #2 "Remember, this is a real gun! This one will kill people!" Friend #2 laughs a bit, says "All right, okay!" and takes it. Friend #3 then goes downrange to set up some pop cans for him to shoot at, then returns to our firing line. He offers Friend #2 a set of hearing protection but he turns it down. Friend #2 takes aim and blows up a can. He turns in shock, and says "Wow, this thing is loud!" to which Friend #3 says "Well yeah, that's why I offered you the earmuffs!"
So Friend #2 fires off a few more shots, then turns his head with his jaw dropped. "Wait a minute, this is a real gun isn't it!"
Despite all the warnings and brief safety lecture, and despite the loud reports, he had thought it was an Airsoft gun and not a real firearm!!! He thought our safety briefing was just making fun of him!!! In hindsight, none of us could figure out how nobody got shot that day.
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So Friend #2 fires off a few more shots, then turns his head with his jaw dropped. "Wait a minute, this is a real gun isn't it!"
That is when you take gun from Friend #2. He has no right to hold said firearm anymore.
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Friend #2 laughs a bit, says "All right, okay!" and takes it.
In hindsight, laughing at a firearm safety briefing might have been an alarm bell.
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Friend #2 laughs a bit, says "All right, okay!" and takes it.
At which point Friend #3 should take said gun back from Friend #2.
@mott555 said:Friend #3 then goes downrange to set up some pop cans for him to shoot at, then returns to our firing line.
I've never had firearms training, but even I know you
NEVER WALK IN FRONT OF ANYONE WITH A LOADED GUN
let alone someone who has such a casual attitude.
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One day I was riding my bike as usual, and crossed the train tracks as usual. When someone passed me on the other side of the road and I waved at them.
My front wheel spun sideways, fell into the track, and I flipped over the bike.
With a concussion, I tried to get myself up and get my bike out.
Then the arms dropped and a the train blew it's horn.
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I'll stick with
loadedI think; it's a little safer ;)
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How the hell do you people get so badly mangled?
We have lived life and taken chances. All the great stories of life either start with alcohol or end with an injury that you walked away from.
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When I was a kid, probably 8 or so, I had one of these
Long story short: I rode it downhill. There was a rock. My wheel hit the rock and I faceplanted the ground. I injuried the inside of my lip and it was terribly swollen for a week (and I think there's still a scar there but it's hard to see).
While I probably spent most of my life in front of a PC, which doesn't exactly let you get too hurt, I did do other things too - but somehow I never had anything worse than a slight bruise and/or papercut.
That was the worst I've had. I personally avoid danger like crazy. I don't like getting hurt at all.
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I jeffed 11 posts to a new topic: Latest Firearm Topic
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If we're talking about random injuries, enjoy this imgur collection that I thought was a bit too gruesome to post to the funny stuff thread:
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I jeff'd 9 more gun posts to an existing topic: Latest Firearm Topic
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I moved 11 posts to a new topic
Oh, so that's why the page got fucked up and I couldn't scroll down until I did a reload.
Moving posts while people are browsing/posting in the thread seems to cause problems.
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I jeffed 2 posts to an existing topic: Latest Firearm Topic
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Two scars, both idiotic.
Scar down one knee where, back on some school trip to Italy, I jumped on the bed in the hotel knees first only to discover a mattress spring sticking up. three inch gash, trip to hospital for a tetanus shot.
Scar across two fingers on one hand where I was at a mates drinking, another mate dressed up as Ghostface from Scream and runs around with a knife. Knife is waved in my direction, so assuming it's a fake knife, I grab it on the blade end. Turns out it's a bread knife and slices into two fingers. Friends Mum is a nurse so comes and bandages it up and I never went to the doctor/hospital about it. Driving was painful for a few days though. One part of the end of my finger is still kinda numb.
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One part of the end of my finger is still kinda numb.
Probably a severed nerve; those don't tend to heal that well.
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How the hell do you people get so badly mangled?
While I probably spent most of my life in front of a PC, which doesn't exactly let you get too hurt, I did do other things too - but somehow I never had anything worse than a slight bruise and/or papercut.
I've once dislocated a knee while leaning below a desk to plug in my laptop, you know?I'm not even kidding. I had to use crutches for about a week. :-/
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I've once dislocated a knee while leaning below a desk to plug in my laptop, you know?
…how?
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All I did was support my weight on my leg wrong.
It hurt a bit when I got down, but I just got back up and sat for a few hours, during which I was uncomfortable but figured it would wear off. When I stood up again and it became really uncomfortable is when I noticed I had sprained my knee.
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Why not both?
Sprain: pushing the ligament beyond its intended range of motion. (Partial) Dislocation: not having the joint aligned as it's supposed to. I did the former and because of that the latter happened.
I currently have a black toe tip due to a nasty cut, btw.
I was leaving down the pool at the gym and trying not to slip down some stairs when the strap of one of my flip-flops broke and made me slip on the foot I was least expecting. The stupid plastic strap on the cheap flip-flop was sharp! I only noticed the cut in the bath, because of the pool of blood rather than the pain.
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If we're talking about random injuries, enjoy this imgur collection that I thought was a bit too gruesome to post to the funny stuff thread:
What the heck is that girl doing to @PJH's avatar?
http://i.imgur.com/Z5oTWWV.gifv
I suppose if we ever make the mistake of using animated avatars @PJH is set.
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dislocated a knee while leaning below a desk to plug in my laptop,
Reminds me of the time I was going to a customer on site in a large office building. While I park my car I see an ambulance arrive and stop in front of the entrance. I make my way to the elevator, let the paramedics ride along. We all get off on the same floor. I know my way so I head left directly to the server room with a small stop at the coffee machine. The paramedics go to the receptionist. As I arrive at the server room entrance with my coffee I see my contact person laying on the ground with the paramedics around. He snapped his back while doing something silly like looking at the patches inconveniently placed right above the floor.
Conclusion: don't be a jerk and don't those patching boards at the bottom of a rack
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I've once dislocated a knee while leaning below a desk to plug in my laptop
Ow ow ow.
My right knee is a bit fucked (genetic problems) and prone to dislocation, according to my father from whom I inherited its design. So I always tend to support my weight on my left leg. My left leg is actually a bit wider than the right (~0.5cm) due to "exercising" more.
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Jaws of life!
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Two scars, both idiotic
I have a few idiotic hand scars.
Earliest one was got by picking up a piece of broken glass in the schoolyard in order to chuck it in the bin. As it left my hand, it carved a lovely gash most of the length of my right ring finger. Didn't feel a thing. Only reason I noticed is after being puzzled about being followed by a trail of blood droplets.
Next one was the way I learned that the correct way to hold a Beretta does not involve wrapping your thumb around the back of the thing. Those slides have sharp edges. Not as sharp as broken glass though. Stung like a mofo.
Third was a deep puncture wound, most of the way through the web between thumb and forefinger on my right hand. Protip: the correct way to save your cool orange cat being mauled by the black cat from next door has nothing to do with reaching into the middle of a spitting yowling spinning blur of orange and black in order to seize the aggressor by the stomach.
That one ended up with a hospital visit a couple of weeks later to excise an abscessed lymph node from my neck.
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Armored motorcycle gloves are wonderful for handling crazy cats.
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idiotic hand scars
I remember one time I dropped a coffee mug, and it cracked almost completely in half—the two halves remained held together by about half a centimeter of uncracked ceramic. Before throwing it in the bin, I decided it would be an excellent idea to fully break it into two pieces, which was moderatly easy to do, just needed a little bit of force. However, the force required was sufficient to drive the razor sharp jagged edge of the halves over my thumb, cutting it to the bone (right over the joint as well), and causing me to need to go get stitches immediately. That one just hurt the moment I did it.
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the two halves remained held together by about half a centimeter of uncracked ceramic. Before throwing it in the bin, I decided it would be an excellent idea to fully break it into two pieces
Next time that happens, try filling it with skim milk and leaving it out in the sun until the milk rots and then dries up. Casein glue works surprisingly well on broken ceramic.
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Do you then need to never drink from the cup again because it's held together with rotten milk?
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Depends on your relative squeamishness levels re. leachate of bits of old dead bacteria vs. monomers from the breakdown of a more modern glue.
Once it's been cleaned off and subjected to hot coffee tempereatures I doubt there'd be anything leaching out of the joint that I'd object to drinking.
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Once it's been cleaned off and subjected to hot coffee tempereatures I doubt there'd be anything leaching out of the joint that I'd object to drinking.
We all have to eat a pound of dirt in our lives. Might as well get it done and over with. :-P
