Things I wish I could say to my customers
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That… isn't
That's proactive self-defence. The guy with the screwdriver will think twice1 before trying that again.
Filed under: Peace through strength
1or might not, depending on the strength of his drug addiction2
2or bring his own chair and Stanley knife3 next time
3that's 'box cutter' for you 'Muricans
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Stanley knife3 next time
3that's 'box cutter' for you 'Muricans
Stanley is a well-known brand of tools in the US. I knew exactly what was meant.
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Around here what most people i hear refer to as a Stanley knife is one of these:
which has always confused the crap put of me because I've never seen Stanley make a model of this knife.
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In Poland, those Stanley knives are called wallpaper knives.
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Strictly speaking, that's not a Stanley knife; it's a Stanley/flick-hybrid.This is a true Stanley (disassembled):
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This is a true Stanley (disassembled):
that one is oddly just called a utility knife at least here.... not sure this is a local thing or just the people i hang around with...
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that one is oddly just called a utility knife at least here.... not sure this is a local thing or just the people i hang around with...
It might have something to do with Stanley being a British brand e.g.
Also:
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stanley is pretty popular around these parts too. ;-)
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Wait you guys were talking about a BOX CUTTER this whole time?!
(I always loved how so few tools have standardized names.)
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BOX CUTTER
Proving the point, I guess, that
so few tools have standardized names
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so few tools have standardized names
Indeed. I imagine it would be even more difficult to attempt to rob @thegoryone with one of these, for example.
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Your China Hibin box cutter would take ages compared to a utility blade/stanley knife/whatever. Especially for those shippers who tape all four edges.
(That said, less risk of cutting whatever's in the box with their design, so kudos on that I guess.)
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Your China Hibin box cutter would take ages compared to a utility blade/stanley knife/whatever.
Yeah, totally. I'd use a Stanley knife for that reason.
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Indeed. I imagine it would be even more difficult to attempt to rob @thegoryone with one of these, for example.
But it might be easier with a Birmingham screwdriver:
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That said, less risk of cutting whatever's in the box with their design, so kudos on that I guess
True, but then, if you're opening a box, you'd only expose maybe a eighth-inch of blade anyway.
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you'd only expose maybe a eighth-inch of blade anyway.
Which if you're doing over the top, on a fully packed box, is still enough to maybe hit something.
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I will fully admit that I've cut the fabric on boxed chairs before wielding one of those bad boys.
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I've cut all sorts of things I shouldn't opening boxes with them.
Luckily not fabric chairs.
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Which is why I generally use a screwdriver to open boxes.
I never, ever use any type of knife. That's just stupid.
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TRWTF is not lifting the lid a bit so the tape is stretched and a good 2.54 cm away from whatever is inside the box.
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Sometimes you don't have a screwdriver. Sometimes you have a knife.
It's not something I've done recently.
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“What the fuck are you doing at this company?
on this teleconference call?You've done nothing but obstruct everyone else.”Not necessarily to customers though...
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"I can implement any three of these four requirements for you, but implementing all four would require changes to the nature of logic itself."
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"If I could make you a piece of software which could predict with 100% accuracy the things you want it to predict, then I would have already retired to a beach in the Caribbean..."
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You know, you could retire to the Caribbean for less than you think. I would say that with some US$100k you would live better than most.
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Yeah, but there's no point in retiring to the Caribbean if you can't sit on your yacht, moored just off your private beach, holding a pina colada freshly prepared by your personal staff.
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Then you wouldn't go to the Caribbean but to Miami or Maine.
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I actually use my house keys to open most packaging. Reinforced tapes won't work, but normal paper and packing tape go just like a knife, leaving the materials inside unharmed. And you ALWAYS have keys.
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+1
I was just about to post the same thing.
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Razor blade keys. Why no one has invented them?
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A change request which dinged my atmosphere (client services told us about the circumstances and back-end implemented it, I didn't have to do anything) could have been explained like this: the client was using the Thing for one thing, now they wanted it to do the Thing for multiple things. They couldn't do this because the database wasn't designed that way at the time.
The fact that they were angry about this made me want to demand proof that we had told them it would do this. Since the probability of an ER diagram in their documentation was approaching zero, they would probably not have been able to produce this.
While the client company does have a recent history of asking for new features to be implemented the next day, the liaison has a somewhat longer history of being angry about non-existent features which he falsely claims are in the documentation.
Which brings me to the next thing I wish I could say to the liaison (but won't because we have separate client-services people): if I'm going to be sanctioned for this thing not being in the code, The Boy That Cried Wolf gets to be sanctioned for the 50-odd things that aren't in the docs. 50 times.
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Razor blade keys. Why no one has invented them?
That doesn't look like a thing that I'd want to have jiggling around in my front pocket at all times...
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TIL word liaison.
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Not just you...
(I'd always thought "liason" was an acceptable Otherpondian spelling, but apparently it's just wrong...)
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I'm always tempted to use the classic "cheap, quick, done right. Choose two" but I'd just get the thousand yard stare.
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@blakeyrat said:
Your China Hibin box cutter would take ages compared to a utility blade/stanley knife/whatever.
Yeah, totally. I'd use a Stanley knife for that reason.
I just use my swiss army knife.
If the contents of the box are straining against the top so that reasonable care won't stop you damaging them (never had difficulty being careful myself, but I acknowledge the possibility) then I'd probably just peel the tape off, possibly cutting where the tape over the two flaps overlaps with the tape over the flap and the side of the box.
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that one is oddly just called a utility knife at least here.... not sure this is a local thing or just the people i hang around with...
I tend to call that a utility knife. I'd probably call the Husky folding version one, too. The key feature being a razor blade for a blade.
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well that rules out it being a local thing. it being a thing that the people i hang out around do is still on the table. ;-)
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I'll alternatively call it a box cutter, like blakey, though. NB: the 9/11 hijackers are often described as wielding box cutters.
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hmm yes, but to me a box cutter is one of those ones that use a straight sided razor blade, not the trapezoidal blade that a utility knife uses.
but that's just me... ;-)
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I tend to call that a utility knife.
That is the proper name for it.Brits calling it a Stanley™ knife is basically like calling a vacuum cleaner a Hoover™; the brand becomes a ubiquitous term for the whole class of objects.
If you don't believe me, you can always Google™ it ;)
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I assume you're talking about what Germans call "Teppichmesser" ("carpet knife")
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carpet knife
Those usually have a bit of a hook to the blade. Google seems to agree with me.
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We also use that word for the unhooked versions, though.
@below: that, too
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Utility knives are also not normally serrated
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Brits calling it a Stanley™ knife is basically like calling a vacuum cleaner a Hoover™; the brand becomes a ubiquitous term for the whole class of objects
The technical term is "Generic Trademark". Have a big list.
I may have named my son a brand name discussed in this thread. Now that he is starting to read I can't leave those things lying around or he'll claim them because his name is on it! (Our family name is also a common word and my uncle used to say a certain item was his because his name was on it.) (Without giving too much away)
Filed under "Generic" to avoid the whole -ised vs -ized debate.
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Good old Uncle Sharpie. Of course, he's in prison now after the kids caught him creating that meme...
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I may have named my son a brand name discussed in this thread.
You named your son Hoover? You're weird
Utility knife - Wikipedia
liason - Wiktionary, the free dictionary
How to spell liaison? Is it liason or liasion? - Commonly Misspelled Words
