📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™

ben_lubar

0_1511337412763_Screenshot 2017-11-22 at 01.56.41.png

Holy shit, am I on J.T. Sexkik's mailing list?

ben_lubar

0_1511337712287_Screenshot 2017-11-22 at 02.01.38.png

"Here at Google, we send you an email and wait for you to open it, and then one hour later, we delete your entire account! It's the perfect prank!"

HardwareGeek

@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

WHY ARE WE YELLING IT'S TOO LOUD PLEASE TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

ITS FROM WESTERN UNION STOP DONT YOU KNOW TELEGRAMS ARE ALL UPPER CASE AND NO PUNCTUATION QUERY

ben_lubar

0_1511337860809_Screenshot 2017-11-22 at 02.04.03.png

We sent you this email to ask if we are spamming you with emails and if we are we would appreciate you emailing us about it to confirm Thanks

ben_lubar

@luhmann said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

zombie guacamole

No doubt that is somebodies kink

Is it transphobia if I don't want to have sex with a 818 year old transgendered woman?

HardwareGeek

@ben_lubar And ageist.

Luhmann

@ben_lubar
And agism. Too bad xhe isn't a fat latino or something so you could be fat shaming and racist. That would really be a winning streak in SJW BuzzWord Bingo.

ben_lubar

@luhmann said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@ben_lubar
And agism. Too bad xhe isn't a fat latino or something so you could be fat shaming and racist. That would really be a winning streak in SJW BuzzWord Bingo.

Based on the name and century I'm guessing Queen of England or a Queen of England impersonator.

Zecc

@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

"Here at Google, we send you an email and wait for you to open it, and then one hour later, we delete your entire account! It's the perfect prank!"

"And if this message" — oh, sorry, forgot to turn on Title Case.

"And If This Message Winds Up In Spam Its Due to Your Internet Provider"

Zecc

@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

Thanks

accalia

Tsaukpaetra

0_1511597091337_acdad3d0-dc01-4aae-9917-b39c8f3a3380-image.png

I mean, I play anon on 4-chan once or twice, but...

(Three images, all going to the same googleusecontent.com/proxy link)

LB_

@tsaukpaetra What's with the subliminal FPIO behind the BLACK FIRDAY text?

Greybeard

@lb_ “EPIC”

Greybeard

@tsaukpaetra “to see if you qualify for.” I’ll guess “nope.”

Atazhaia

Having an androgynous name gives interesting spam one of my friends is experiencing. Especially if the name is typically found on females and he is male. So he gets spam intended for women.

I am wondering about Alejandro M., though. "Take in your hands my bouncy breast". Hmm... Well, I guess there is a market for BBM too!

Cursorkeys

This email took a good 5 minutes to render in the spam filter preview window. I wondered what the heck was going on until I viewed the source. Some sort of misguided attempt to upset scanners?

Pasting this cut down version into a code block here caused the editor here to become unresponsive for about 10 minutes...

<TABLE WIDTH="680" BORDER=0 CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 BGCOLOR="#000000"><TR><TD><table border=0 cellpadding=5 CELLSPACING=1 width="100%">
<tr BGCOLOR="#cccccc"><td align=left valign=top><B><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>From:</font></b></td><td><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>&nbsp;<font color="#000000" FACE="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" SIZE="2">Dr. Fungus &lt;contact@ninc.anyck.net&gt;</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;</td></tr>
<tr BGCOLOR="#cccccc"><td align=left valign=top><b><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>To:</font></b></td><td><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>&nbsp;<font size="2" face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000">me@work.com</font></td></tr>
<tr BGCOLOR="#cccccc"><td align=left valign=top><b><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>Date:</font></b></td><td><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>&nbsp;Tue, 28 Nov 2017 07:51:49 -0500</font></td></tr>
<tr BGCOLOR="#cccccc"><td align=left valign=top><b><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>Subject:</font></b></td><td><font face="Helvetica, Verdana, Arial, Sans-Serif" color="#000000" size=2>&nbsp;Insane Method Destroys Toe And Nail Fungus Fast</font></td></tr>
</table></TD></TR></TABLE>
<table width=700 border=0 cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0><tr><td background="/images/spacer.gif"><CENTER>
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<CENTER><a href="http://1.1.1.1//ql.html?o=wtg0001*ka4alllfuem=oth.bnsf.1hei3ce.4wg6r.c0c54__3g8f113A9h/000sgc"><br><h3></a></CENTER>
<CENTER> </CENTER>
<CENTER><a href="http://1.1.1.1//ql.html?u=wtg0001*ka4alllfuem=oth.bnsf.1hei3ce.4wg6r.c0c54__3g8f113A9h/000sgc"></a></CENTER>
<CENTER><a href="http://1.1.1.1/ql.html?g=wtg0001*ka4alllfuem=oth.bnsf.1hei3ce.4wg6r.c0c54__3g8f113A9h/000sgc" style='display:none'></a></CENTER>
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...
<snip about 5k lines!>
...
</td></tr></table>

boomzilla

@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

Elizabeth Davis, who was apparently born in 1199.

More likely November 1999, because she's BARELY 18

masonwheeler

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@tsaukpaetra I mean, it sort of still does, but more like "Regarding your previous email, with the subject of:". But that's long and wordy, and "Re:" is easy.

Huh?

I always figured it just meant "reply," since that's what it puts on an email when you hit Reply, much like the Forward command tacks "Fwd:" on the front of the subject line.

anotherusername

@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

That whole "you don't need to do anything in response to this email because your account has already been automatically updated" part really doesn't make sense if that's an ad with their whole "subject to credit approval" thing.

anotherusername

@masonwheeler said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

Huh?

I always figured it just meant "reply," since that's what it puts on an email when you hit Reply

It does. I was just saying, if you really want to stretch, it could mean "regarding" instead.

accalia

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

That whole "you don't need to do anything in response to this email because your account has already been automatically updated" part really doesn't make sense if that's an ad with their whole "subject to credit approval" thing.

yeah. the whole thing is a steaming pile of WTF.

i've been getting them a lot lately. either because equfax or becasue somehow they got word of my raise and promotion.....

Discover sent me an almost identical email yesterday. i was positive it would be spoofed but every test i threw at it sid it was legit sent by discover.

they raised my credit line to 25k......

I DON'T HAVE A LINE OF CREDIT WITH DISCOVER!

Tsaukpaetra

@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

they raised my credit line to 25k......
I DON'T HAVE A LINE OF CREDIT WITH DISCOVER!

Lucky! I had to ask my bank, and they only raised my line to $24k!

anotherusername

@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

That whole "you don't need to do anything in response to this email because your account has already been automatically updated" part really doesn't make sense if that's an ad with their whole "subject to credit approval" thing.

yeah. the whole thing is a steaming pile of WTF.

i've been getting them a lot lately. either because equfax or becasue somehow they got word of my raise and promotion.....

Discover sent me an almost identical email yesterday. i was positive it would be spoofed but every test i threw at it sid it was legit sent by discover.

they raised my credit line to 25k......

I DON'T HAVE A LINE OF CREDIT WITH DISCOVER!

I think if it was me, I'd probably have to check my credit tracker just to make sure that I didn't have a shiny new $25k line of credit with Discover that I didn't know about.

HardwareGeek

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@masonwheeler said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

Huh?

I always figured it just meant "reply," since that's what it puts on an email when you hit Reply

It does. I was just saying, if you really want to stretch, it could mean "regarding" instead.

Maeve Maddox / Nov 11, 2009 / Vocabulary

Regarding Re: - DAILY WRITING TIPS

Re: is one of those commonly used letter combinations (like SIC) that people tend to make up their own meanings for.

Well, since Iframely failed...

I’ve seen Re: explained as an abbreviation of the words “regarding” or “referencing.”
However, Re is not an abbreviation for anything.Re: means “re.”
Re is an English preposition in use since at least the 18th century. It means “in the matter of, with reference to.”
Like sic, re is a Latin word. It is the ablative form of the Latin noun res meaning “thing” or “affair.” Lawyers use the legal phrase in re when a proceeding is not brought by a person, but has to do with something like probate, or a public project like laying out a highway.
NOTE: Watch out for the definition “in regards to” given at Wiki Answers.
“In regards” is nonstandard English for in regard to.

anotherusername

@hardwaregeek that applies to the way it was traditionally used in formal communication. It explicitly describes its use "at the top of letters and emails"; it doesn't apply to its current use in the subject line of an email. In the subject line, "Re:" simply means "Reply".

Note that their examples actually make sense:

Re: Your order of 10/3/09

Re: Your submission For Whom the Bell Tolls

You could just as well write them as,

Subject: Your order of 10/3/09

Subject: Your submission "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

"Subject" and "Re" in that sense are perfectly synonymous; it would be redundant and strange to say "Subject: Re: Your order of 10/3/09". It's a clear tell that the person either isn't technically literate enough to understand what the subject lines in emails are for, or isn't familiar enough with English to understand that putting it there in something that's already been defined as the email's subject is redundant. In the subject line, "Re:" has simply come to mean "reply".

HardwareGeek

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

It's a clear tell that the person either isn't technically literate enough to understand what the subject lines in emails are for, or isn't familiar enough with English

or is a spammer, although that is often a subset of option 2.

anotherusername

@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

It's a clear tell that the person either isn't technically literate enough to understand what the subject lines in emails are for, or isn't familiar enough with English

or is a spammer, although that is often a subset of option 2.

Yes.

To put it more bluntly, it's pretty much only ever done by elderly technophobes and overseas spammers.

boomzilla

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

In the subject line, "Re:" simply means "Reply".

I've always assumed it meant "Regarding" just like in memos and you can't change that.

anotherusername

@boomzilla that only makes sense if you mentally insert "(your previous email, with the subject of)".

boomzilla

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@boomzilla that only makes sense if you mentally insert "(your previous email, with the subject of)".

No, it makes sense immediately, and a lot more sense than, "Reply: Blah blah blah".

anotherusername

@boomzilla so you don't think it's redundant to say that the email is regarding its subject? And an email isn't regarding its subject unless you're replying, I guess.

boomzilla

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@boomzilla so you don't think it's redundant to say that the email is regarding its subject? And an email isn't regarding its subject unless you're replying, I guess.

No, it's not redundant at all. It was also an established convention. You're just getting misled by the existence of the "Reply" button in your ~~lawn~~mail client, I think.

anotherusername

@boomzilla "subject" and "regarding" mean the same exact thing. It makes no damn sense to say "Subject: Regarding:", and even less to say "Subject:" when sending the first email in a conversation and "Subject: Regarding:" only when you reply.

boomzilla

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@boomzilla "subject" and "regarding" mean the same exact thing. It makes no damn sense to say "Subject: Regarding:", and even less to say "Subject:" when sending the first email in a conversation and "Subject: Regarding:" only when you reply.

No. It means that the email is regarding the previous email, just like a memo with that was regarding a previous memo with that subject. Again, read what @HardwareGeek posted instead of reading the buttons on your mail client.

anotherusername

@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

a memo with that was regarding a previous memo with that subject

In memos, "Re:" is used to denote the subject of the memo. It has nothing whatsoever to do with whether the memo is regarding a previous memo with the same subject. You're confusing its usage in memos with its usage in emails.

http://business.lovetoknow.com/wiki/How_to_Write_a_Memo

boomzilla

@anotherusername I'm not sure what part of "and you can't change [my mind]" you don't understand.

anotherusername

@boomzilla right. I forgot that back in your day, "CC" meant real carbon copies... I'll get off your lawn...

HardwareGeek

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

I forgot that back in your day, "CC" meant real carbon copies...

When you CC an email, there should be a server somewhere that prints out multiple copies using carbon paper on an impact printer (the more recipients, the blurrier the copies get), photographs each copy on a wooden table, and emails each photocopy to its recipient.

remi

@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

@anotherusername said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

I forgot that back in your day, "CC" meant real carbon copies...

When you CC an email, there should be a server somewhere that prints out multiple copies using carbon paper on an impact printer (the more recipients, the blurrier the copies get), photographs each copy on a wooden table, and emails each photocopy to its recipient.

And BCC means that the person doing the photographs is blind?

Jaloopa

@remi No, it means there's no film in the camera but that's OK because there's no carbon on the carbon paper either

dkf

@heterodox said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

hide the Bayesian poisoning

Pro-tip: that really doesn't work. It's not hidden and it doesn't disrupt a properly-written classifier either.

heterodox

@dkf said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:

Pro-tip: that really doesn't work. It's not hidden and it doesn't disrupt a properly-written classifier either.

Giving a pro-tip to spammers there? :P

hungrier

0_1513042336080_9d7aafad-977d-4b5c-b56d-8508a513e397-image.png

No so final is it?

Onyx

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