SedgeCo, a fictional WTF company.
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I should say straight off that this is a) fictional, and b) nothing to
do with computers. But I thought you might find it amusing. It's the
backstory to a series of university Geological Sciences questions.
I'sve cut the actual questions of course.
******
The expenses of your mapping project in Devon (Exercise 1) have raised
your overdraft to a level where the charges are frighteningly high. You
are forced to earn some cash. You take a vacation job with the newly
formed Sedgco geological consultancy. They pay a pitifully low hourly
rate, but you hope to gain more useful geological experience than you
would serving behind the bar in the Fold and Firkin.
Sedgco have won a contract to establish the feasibility of reopening
Cornish tin mines. The personnel director says rather ominously “if you
survive this job we’ll pay you a good bonus”. The old Trebucket mine
looks the best economic prospect, but the mineral rights and mine plan
are owned by a rival company. Your job is to make an accurate survey of
the existing workings to assess whether a bid for the rights is
worthwhile. You will need to combine stealth and courage with skill on
the stereonet to complete the expedition in three-quarters of an hour.
By that time you will have received the maximum recommended annual
radiation dose from inhaling radon gas in the unventilated mine.
Memorize the following sheet of instructions then swallow it.
(questions)
If your mission has been completed successfully you should now be back
at the ground surface exactly where you started. If you have kept
within your time schedule you have increased your chance of contracting
lung cancer by about 0.05%, about 4 times the annual risk of being
killed in a road accident. Because you are not a full-time employee,
Sedgco will be unable to accept any liability if you begin to suffer.
The company may well be bankrupt by then if the Trebucket prospect does
not pay off.
...1 year later...
You have graduated with a degree in Geological Sciences and apply for a
job with the Sedgco consultancy. Their letter comes out of the blue,
just as your hopes of a steady job are fading.
“...You will be pleased to know that, although the Trebucket prospect
proved uneconomic as a tin mine, your surveying showed that it was
ideal for conversion to a tourist attraction. Sedgco have leased the
site and sold the franchise for The Trebucket Mine Experience for a
considerable profit. This deal and the annual royalties allow us to
expand our permanent geological staff. We were impressed by the
efficiency and accuracy of your work at Trebucket, and would like to
offer you the post of Junior Geologist attached to our South West
England Assessment Team (SWEAT).....”
You accept this offer, of course.
Sedgco’s current major contract has been won from the Petrobucks UK plc
oil company. They require a GIS (Geographic Information System)
computer database to chart the space/time location and extent of the
main stratigraphic unconformities in the British Isles. You are to help
in setting up the database for this project, code-named RUDE (Regional
Unconformity Description Exercise), by abstracting information from the
1:250,000 geological maps published by the British Geological Survey.
Your first task is the Portland sheet, covering the east Devon and
Dorset segment of the south coast of England. Work through the
following extract for Sedgco’s instruction manual for the RUDE job.
(questions)
...
SWEAT (Sedgco’s Southwest England Assessment Team) is currently
carrying out a structural description of the Variscan Belt of Devon and
Cornwall, on contract to the Petrobucks oil company. Although not
themselves a petroleum play, the Devonian and Carboniferous rocks of
the Variscan Belt continue eastwards beneath the productive Mesozoic
Wessex Basin of south and southeast England. Variscan structures have
been reactivated during Mesozoic time to control sedimentation in the
Wessex Basin and again in Cenozoic time to deform the basin rocks and
create structural traps for petroleum. Petrobucks therefore thinks that
characterizing the structural style of the Variscan basement is
important for its future development of the Wessex Basin.
Impressed by your work on the RUDE job, the Chief Geologist of SWEAT
(the Big Sweat, to colleagues), promotes you to Team Geologist, issues
you with a company bicycle, and sends you to Devon and Cornwall to
collect data on folds.
(questions)
You will explore the geometry of these folds in more detail in Phase 2. Meanwhile, on your bike and back to the tent........
...
You have not been sleeping well at night. This is partly because
Sedgco’s company tent is not fully waterproof, but mainly because you
are worrying about the extraordinary geological structure between
Widemouth Bay and Millook Haven (Practical 4). You can understand how
crustal shortening produces folds with near-vertical axial planes, but
what produces recumbent folds (with near-horizontal axial planes). Did
the folds form in that orientation by vertical shortening? Did they
form as upright folds, only to be sheared over later into a recumbent
attitude? Maybe a more detailed study of the folds will provide some
answers and give you some peace of mind?
(questions)
...
Back at head office, you barely have time to submit your report on the
Variscan folds of southwest England (exercises 4 and 5) to the Chief
Geologist before you are summoned by Sedgco’s Managing Director
herself. Her opening words are not reassuring. “Sedgco is having to do
a bit of restructuring”. But even as your mind turns to life on the
dole, you hear the boss continuing. “We’ve been impressed by your work
with SWEAT. We’d like to promote you to Assistant to the Chief
Geologist.” Overcome by relief and euphoria, you register only snatches
of the explanation. “He’s been overworked recently . . . . . drinks
more than he should . . . . . geological judgement not what it used to
be . . . . . needs a steady type like yourself around . . . . . keep an
eye on him . . .” You only refocus as the M. D. becomes more specific.
“We’ve an important job to do for Megaform Construction. Looking at the
strength of the rock foundations beneath a proposed water supply dam in
Dorset. Get the tests done will you. But make sure the Chief Geologist
is sober when he assesses them. Don’t want half of Hardy Country washed
away do we? You can handle a Mohr diagram can’t you?” You are
cheerfully shown the door before you can answer no to either of these
questions.
(questions)
At this point in your analysis the Chief Geologist lurches unsteadily
into the room, and stares at your results through a haze of constantly
emitted whisky vapour. “Exshellent work” he slurs “I can shtill read a
shtress diagram y’know. They don’t call me Mohr-the-merrier for
nothing. These reshults. . . . . Jusht what Megaform will want to hear.
I’ll shend them by shpeshial courier right away.” You sit transfixed in
your chair, watching him weave back out of the room with copies of your
plots, and hearing him richochet down the corridor.
When you recover your composure, you remember uneasily that there were
two other safety factors that you wanted to check out. The first is the
effect of the existing fractures in the bedrock that you observed. The
unfractured parts of the core that you have tested will give an
optimistic measure of the strength of the rock mass in the field. The
second effect is of raised pore pressures below the dam. After all, it
is going to impound a reservoir with up to 40m depth of water.
(questions)
Your full analysis now looks positively alarming.
By the time you finish, the preliminary results are en route to
Megaform, the Chief Geologist has left for home “feeling unwell”, and
the Managing Director is out of town in a meeting with Petrobucks UK.
It’s time to take matters into your own hands. Nothing less than the
good name of Sedgco is at stake. You gather up your revised safety
analysis and sprint out of the building. Pointing your bicycle towards
Megaform House, you begin to rehearse your explanation to their Project
Director . . . . . . . .
...
The Managing Director came straight to the point. “We’ve sacked the
Chief Geologist” she said. “Can’t have him creating yesterday’s sort of
havoc. Even the Project Director of Megaform could see that the dam
safety analysis (Exercise 6) was incomplete. Your swift intervention
saved the day. The other directors and I owe you a large debt of
gratitude.” Your mind races fancifully. How far might Sedgco’s
generosity extend? To a desk and chair of you own? To an 18-speed
bicycle? Even to a waterproof tent? But the reality leaves you almost
speechless. “We’d like you to take over as Chief Geologist. We know
that you have the geological knowledge. Now you’ve proved that you have
the initiative, decisiveness and tact. You’ll get an office of your
own, of course, and we’ll swap your bicycle for a bottom-of-the-range
BMW.” Even this enforced switch to an inefficient and outmoded form of
transport doesn’t prevent you mouthing your astonished acceptance. The
MD has one further enigmatic snippet of explanation. “You weren’t to
know that Megaform Construction is a subsidiary of the the Petrobucks
oil company. We’re particularly keen to keep in their good books just
now. Confidential stuff. Can’t explain now. You'll hear about it at
this afternoon’s board meeting anyway. Did I say that the Chief
Geologist has a non-voting seat on the Board?”
Still in a state of shock at your meteoritic rise up the company, you
reel to your new office. On top of the in-tray is a letter from
Petrobucks UK. “Thank you for the results of SWEAT Phase II on Variscan
fold styles. We would like to commission some additional information on
the bizarre vein structures visible in a number of your photographs.
Sheet P7.2 shows some examples. None of our geologists here can explain
them. How do they form? Might they have provided migration routes for
fluid hydrocarbons? Please provide a short report within two days.
Charge at the usual rate of £1000 per day (VAT included).”
You immediately recognise the structures on P7.2 as shear zones. Better
do this job yourself. You force out of your mind for the moment the
glaring discrepancy between what Petrobucks pay Sedgco and what Sedgco
pays you. You start to revise your understanding of how shear zones
work.
(questions)
This seems enough information for the basis of a report to Petrobucks.
You type your report over lunchtime, charge it to Petrobucks as a full
days work, then nervously attend your first board meeting. Some of the
proceedings are within even your inexperienced grasp. You listen
attentively but barely noticed at one corner of the large boardroom
table. The reason for the Directors’ obsequious attitude to Petrobucks
becomes clear. Petrobucks have made a takeover offer for Sedgco. There
is much discussion over the adequacy of the bid and how much this means
per share. But by mid-afternoon the deal is approved and the Managing
Director phones Sedgco’s agreement to the President of Petrobucks. The
news will be released to the media in the morning. You are seeing a
small bit of geological history made.
There is a rather chaotic end to the meeting, which you do not
understand. Instead of sharing handshakes and a small glass of
something from the drinks cabinet, the directors all turn their backs,
prod their mobile phones furtively, and then have short, barely
polysyllabic exchanges. “A thousand.” “Yes, Sedgco.” “Just buy.” “Any
price.” “Now.” What obscure aspect of company ritual is this, you think
as you leave the boardroom for home. You must ask your City friend in
the Fold and Firkin tonight. Who is it he works for? The Department of
Trade and Industry? . . . . . . .
...it's not hard to see this coming...
You are woken as usual by your radio alarm. Fragments of the financial
news begin to permeate your semi-consciousness. “. . . . Megabucks oil
company in take-over bid for Sedgco. . . . . dynamic young geological
consultancy. . . . .Sedgco share price soared on early trading. . . .”
You remember with some pride your new role as Chief Geologist, and
dress a shade more sharply as a result. A slice of toast later you
slide into the BMW, bring it purring to life, and nose into the morning
traffic. The journey to Sedgco HQ takes half an hour rather than the
ten minutes on the bike. The parking space labelled Chief Geologist is
already filled, by a car marked Department of Trade and Industry.
Inside the building there is an air of tension. “They’re interviewing
them all.,” explained the receptionist. “All the directors. The people
from the DTI. Something about insider share dealing. Said they might
need to see you later in the day. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
But you do. Yesterday’s takeover discussions, the performance with the
mobile phones – yes, it’s all beginning to make sense.
But this isn’t your problem. The geological show must go on. On top of
your in-tray is an urgent query from the SWEAT team, about constructing
a cross section through the Variscan structures in the Bristol area.
They have sent you part of a north-south section across roughly
east-west thrust faults cutting Devonian and Carboniferous rocks near
Bristol (sheet 8.2). Is this part of the section geologically
plausible, they ask? They have drawn the surface structure over the
remaining part of the section, but how does it continue at depth? How
do you work out the amount of shortening across the section?
(questions)
Well satisfied with your labours on the SWEAT section, you down tools
and glance out of the office window. Two police cars have parked by the
main entrance. Even as you watch, the Sedgco directors are led firmly
out of the building, guided into the waiting vehicles and driven
speedily away. Simultaneously a black Mercedes sweeps effortlessly up
to the entrance and disgorges a corpulent figure with an expensive suit
and a large cigar. You recognize him immediately from his photographs
in the financial pages: the President of the Petrobucks oil company.
Within minutes he is politely admitting himself to your room. “I have a
problem,” he confides, subsiding wearily into a chair. “I’ve just
bought a company with no directors. Caught doing crooked share deals,
every one of them. The Petrobucks board will handle the strategic and
financial decisions, of course. But we need someone to head up the
geological operation here.” You sense what’s coming, and have time to
compose a calm affirmative answer. “You’re the most senior member of
the company to have kept a clean nose in this business. Sharp and
energetic too I hear. Would you be willing to take over as Managing
Director. . . . .”
You relax back into the rich leather of the Managing Director’s chair,
allowing yourself a few moments reflection on your fast and fortunate
promotion through the Sedgco hierarchy. Sometimes it only seems a
matter of weeks rather than years since that first temporary job with
the company. How much you’ve learned. How much valuable experience
you’ve gained. . . . . So what’s first in the in-tray? A letter
addressed from a Cambridge college. “I have completed my second year
reading geology in the Natural Sciences Tripos in Cambridge. I have
just finished my mapping project in the Hartland area of north Devon
and have additional field experience in Cornwall, Dorset, northwest
England and Arran. I am keen to get work experience in a geological
consultancy such as yours, and am writing to enquire whether you have
any vacancies for temporary staff. . . . .” An ironic smile creases
your face. This is exactly where you came in. . . . .
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While I am willing to read such a long, no doubt boring story if it's real, if it never even happened, why are you posting it here?
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This really has me scratching my head.
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Because it's Fing funny, that's why.
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SedgCo (spelt correctly :P) for the win, dude. It's not really a WTF, but I liked those questions too. Beware, the other course setters don't have such an amusing style and the questions get less interesting :P.
Hope you're enjoying the course - I finished my fourth year this summer.
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[quote user="bugmenot"]While I am willing to read such a long, no doubt boring story if it's real, if it never even happened, why are you posting it here?
[/quote]Because it's absolutely hilarious, the situations the reader supposedly enters. The instructor is quite creative. While this assignment might have been hard, I suspect it was quite entertaining, in order to keep you interested, and elicit the odd chuckle in between hard work.
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I don't know if it's absolutely hillarious, but it is humorous and entertaining, and it's a welcome big of diversion from an otherwise enormous test.
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Each set of questions is a separate exercise, so this is pretty much the whole course (on structural geology, not the whole 3rd year geology course!) - it's spread over a couple of weeks' worth of sessions.
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[quote user="m0ffx"]I should say straight off that this is a) fictional, and b) nothing to do with computers. [/quote]
Maybe it's just me but I stopped reading after that.
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Wasn't this an Infocom game?
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[quote user="R.Flowers"]Wasn't this an Infocom game?
[/quote]No. Bob Janova has it right on, of course, it's from a series of 7 1-2 hour exercises (actually, series of 8, I dropped the first).
And yeah the course is going well.
And doh! at myself for mis-spelling SedgCo.
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[quote user="m0ffx"]
[quote user="R.Flowers"]Wasn't this an Infocom game?
[/quote]No.
Bob Janova has it right on, of course, it's from a series of 7 1-2 hour
exercises (actually, series of 8, I dropped the first).[/quote]
Well, I was trying to make a joke. It does remind me of an Infocom game's background literature, or maybe part of a walk through. Something like those Douglas Adams authored.
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[quote user="GoatCheez"]
[quote user="m0ffx"]I should say straight off that this is a) fictional, and b) nothing to do with computers. [/quote]
Maybe it's just me but I stopped reading after that. [/quote]
Your loss. It was very funny. :-)
Wallsy.
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[quote user="GoatCheez"]
[quote user="m0ffx"]I should say straight off that this is a) fictional, and b) nothing to
do with computers. [/quote]Maybe it's just me but I stopped reading after that.
[/quote]Possibly you're just a bit boring and one-dimensional.Eccentric questions are fairly common on exam papers in general, I find. An OCR maths exam I did had a question involving fictional EU regulations about what could be considered crusty bread; the answer to one of the questions (what's the biggest loaf of bread that could be considered crusty) involved a 6 meter diameter sphere of bread...
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[quote user="rsynnott"][quote user="GoatCheez"]
[quote user="m0ffx"]I should say straight off that this is a) fictional, and b) nothing to
do with computers. [/quote]Maybe it's just me but I stopped reading after that.
[/quote]Possibly you're just a bit boring and one-dimensional.[/quote]Hey, way to casually flame![quote user="rsynnott"]... An OCR maths exam I did had a question involving fictional EU regulations about what could be considered crusty bread...[/quote]
Are you sure they were fictional EU regulations?
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[quote user="R.Flowers"][quote user="m0ffx"]
[quote user="R.Flowers"]Wasn't this an Infocom game?
[/quote]No.
Bob Janova has it right on, of course, it's from a series of 7 1-2 hour
exercises (actually, series of 8, I dropped the first).[/quote]
Well, I was trying to make a joke. It does remind me of an Infocom game's background literature, or maybe part of a walk through. Something like those Douglas Adams authored.
[/quote]
I had the same thought (at least for the first page and a half or so; after that I started nodding off).
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[quote user="cconroy"][quote user="R.Flowers"]
Well, I was trying to make a joke. It does remind
me of an Infocom game's background literature, or maybe part of a walk
through. Something like those Douglas Adams authored.[/quote]
I had the same thought (at least for the first page and a half or so; after that I started nodding off).
[/quote]
You nodded off? Perhaps you're a bit boring and one-dimensional. :)
