Bash.org IRC snippets



  • Ok, I found this site in a random reddit thread.

    Had no idea this existed. Some pretty damn hilarious chat snippets, going back decades. They are all ranked like reddit, click on "top" for the best ones. Few of my favorites from the "top" list:

    <Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
    <Cthon98> ********* see!
    <AzureDiamond> hunter2
    <AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
    <Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
    <Cthon98> thats what I see
    <AzureDiamond> oh, really?
    <Cthon98> Absolutely
    <AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
    <AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
    <Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
    <AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
    <Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
    <AzureDiamond> awesome!
    <AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
    <Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
    <AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
    

    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
    BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
    BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
    BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
    BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
    BlackAdder> IN FACT
    BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
    BlackAdder> I  DONT THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
    BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
    *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
    *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    CRCError> right
    heartless> Right.
    r3v> right
    

    <tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
    <tatclass> er.
    <tatclass> hi.
    <andy\code> A common typo.
    <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
    

    <DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
    <DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
    <DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
    <DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
    <DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
    <Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
    <DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
    <DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
    <DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
    <DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
    <Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
    quit: (DeadMansHand)
    <Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
    <Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
    join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
    <PeteRepeat> fucking ken
    <PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
    <quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
    <PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
    <PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
    quit: (PeteRepeat)
    <Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
    <Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was
    

    <Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
    <Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> fuck me
    

    * ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
      being an asshole -           
    <ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
    

    <mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
    <Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
    <mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
    

    <JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
    <JonTG> wait, shit
    

    I skipped over some of the longer ones, definitely check it out, worth a read.



  • This site is old. Welcome to the internet.



  • I've seen some of these before, but that beach one and the capslock one are awesome. In fact, I think [this one] (http://bash.org/?414593) fits this site rather too well.

    Some time later:
    Wow, they even have one of my favorites of all time! [Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.] (http://bash.org/?104383) Almost certainly submitted by a 1d4chan user, or someone on this bash.org submitted it there.



  • http://qdb.us has a bunch, too

    I'm on one of those sites, can't remember which
    EDIT: I'm on qdb, not bash



  • @JazzyJosh said:

    This site is old. Welcome to the internet.

    Yeah. "You know that new hot thing called Geocities? I heard you can have, like, your own Internet site!".



  • I take it you missed the various hunter2 comments that pop up from time to time. At least now when you come across one you know what it is referencing I guess.



  • Ah, the 90s and early 2000s, the days of geocities and angelfire, the only place to get obscure mugen characters. The blink tags! *dies*

    Also, I wonder [how often this happens] (http://bash.org/?50891), because I'm pretty sure I heard my cousin mention it happening in her class about a decade ago.



  • @Magus said:

    The blink tags!

    My buddies and I played some obscure and horribly-implemented browser-based MUD in those days. It was quite vulnerable to HTML injection, and so it was very common for users to intentionally "say" something which ended with a <blink> or <marquee> tag, and no closing tag, causing all the page content after the message to do painful things.



  • @chubertdev said:

    http://qdb.us has a bunch, too

    Currently down, it seems.

    @Magus said:

    The blink tags! dies

    What, you didn't get the memo?

    @Lorne Kates, post:-1, topic:-1 said:

    <blink> and you're dead.

    @mott555 said:

    My buddies and I played some obscure and horribly-implemented browser-based MUD in those days. It was quite vulnerable to HTML injection, and so it was very common for users to intentionally "say" something which ended with a <blink> or <marquee> tag, and no closing tag, causing all the page content after the message to do painful things.

    <Lt_Tinkle> lolololololol
    <Lt_Tinkle> i have my mincraft log viewable as a webpage
    <Lt_Tinkle> and someone did html injection
    <Lt_Tinkle> by talking inside minecraft
    <Lt_Tinkle> and made it redirect to meatspin
    <Lt_Tinkle> when i find out who it was
    <Lt_Tinkle> i shall make them an op
    


  • You just now found Hunter2? You just now found bash.org!?

    I don't believe this one bit. I think you just wanted to make a thread here people would comment on.

    Well it's not going to wor-- damnit!



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    Currently down, it seems.

    Whoa, didn't even look at it originally. Hmmm, not sure if that's "down"



  • @chubertdev said:

    Whoa, didn't even look at it originally. Hmmm, not sure if that's "down"

    They tend to disappear for a month or so and then return. DNS issues, it seems.



  • Or it's still hosted on a machine from 1971.



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    They tend to disappear for a month or so and then return. DNS issues, it seems.

    Yeah, the two sites seems to be in flux. bash.org didn't update for what seemed like years, and qdb.us was following suit, but started updating with a ton of new quotes. It was only recently that bash.org started updating again. I was used to checking it about once a month and seeing that stupid "damn, my land mine collection is gone" quote.



  • Guys, this is bad, this is going to eat up so much of my time. I mean, [they even have things that are very real and historically accurate] (http://bash.org/?262417) while still being incredibly funny.

    Honestly, I am in awe of some of these people. They manage the kind of [comebacks] (http://bash.org/?126218) you only manage once in a lifetime.

    There are even rather honorable people, willing to [bow out when they know they've lost] (http://bash.org/?870063), which is particularly unusual on the internet (and moreso here ofc). Though, this guy had lost by his second line. Not a bit of rhythm.


  • :belt_onion:

    Seriously? Did I just fall into some kind of time machine that took me back to 2002?


  • :belt_onion:

    @Magus said:

    Honestly, I am in awe of some of these people. They manage the kind of comebacks you only manage once in a lifetime.

    You believe all of the things on Bash.org aren't just joke scenarios that people created to submit to Bash.org?


  • sockdevs

    well, i'd say about 5% of them are real, and the rest made up or front pagified.



  • @accalia said:

    well, i'd say about 5% of them are real, and the rest made up or front pagified.

    Which is much higher than most user-contribution sites.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    You just now found Hunter2? You just now found bash.org!?

    I don't believe this one bit. I think you just wanted to make a thread here people would comment on.

    Well it's not going to wor-- damnit!

    I honestly had no idea this existed. Sure I vaguely remember some of the stories from random places on the internet, but most of them are new for me.

    I bet you're super jelly right now that I get to consume all these for the first time.

    @JazzyJosh said:

    This site is old. Welcome to the internet.

    Actually, I found it in the "old-ass sites" reddit thread.



  • Have you heard about homestarrunner yet?



  • @chubertdev said:

    Have you heard about homestarrunner yet?

    Hey, have you contributed money to save the Pacific Tree Octopus?



  • Is that like Cthulhu?


  • sockdevs

    @chubertdev said:

    Is that like Codethulhu?

    FTFS

    edit: or would Ftang! Ftang! have been better?

    hmm....



  • No. It's not. It's another ancient internet joke.



  • @accalia said:

    edit: or would Ftang! Ftang! have been better?

    Fhtagn would have been better, but at least you were close.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    No. It's not. It's another ancient internet joke.

    I never would have guessed.



  • @Magus said:

    Also, I wonder how often this happens, because I'm pretty sure I heard my cousin mention it happening in her class about a decade ago.
    I first heard it nearly 20 years ago, before the internet was even a household thing.

    I feel old. :⎛



  • <Lan_> my iq is a range of 145-178
    <kender> is that in kelvin?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @cartman82 said:

    Actually, I found it in the "old-ass sites" reddit thread.

    Link plz kthxbye.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @cartman82 said:

    <Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
    <Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> fuck me

    BWAHAHAHAHA! Unintended consequences.`


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @blakeyrat said:

    Well it's not going to wor-- damnit!

    That definitely sounds like you were rustled.





  • @FrostCat said:

    BWAHAHAHAHA! Unintended consequences.`

    ITYM Doing It Wrong.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @chubertdev said:

    http://qdb.us has a bunch, too

    404_SITE_NOT_FOUND.

    [root@thinkpad Downloads]# dig qdb.us @8.8.8.8
    
    ; <<>> DiG 9.9.3-P2 <<>> qdb.us @8.8.8.8
    ;; global options: +cmd
    ;; Got answer:
    ;; ->>HEADER<<- opcode: QUERY, status: NOERROR, id: 32806
    ;; flags: qr rd ra; QUERY: 1, ANSWER: 0, AUTHORITY: 1, ADDITIONAL: 1
    
    ;; OPT PSEUDOSECTION:
    ; EDNS: version: 0, flags:; udp: 512
    ;; QUESTION SECTION:
    ;qdb.us.                                IN      A
    
    ;; AUTHORITY SECTION:
    qdb.us.                 697     IN      SOA     ns1.dreamhost.com. hostmaster.dreamhost.com. 2014120400 16158 1800 1814400 14400
    
    ;; Query time: 16 msec
    ;; SERVER: 8.8.8.8#53(8.8.8.8)
    ;; WHEN: Fri Dec 05 10:46:55 GMT 2014
    ;; MSG SIZE  rcvd: 99
    
    [root@thinkpad Downloads]#
    

    @Magus said:

    Also, I wonder how often this happens, because I'm pretty sure I heard my cousin mention it happening in her class about a decade ago.

    Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat

    ­ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue_map

    The tongue map or taste map is a common misconception that different sections of the tongue are exclusively responsible for different basic tastes


    @blakeyrat said:

    Hey, have you contributed money to save the Pacific Tree Octopus?

    • dihydrogen monoxide
    • Time Cube
    • goatse.cx
    • Acts of Gord
    • Rotten.com

    So many new old things for you to look at cartman... :imp:


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    Don't forget the BOFH



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Hey, have you contributed money to save the Pacific Tree Octopus?

    Oddly, my kids brought this up just last night... teacher gave a "quiz" on which of these three internet things is real...

    mini-IJIJ: "No, Dad, it's real!"
    IJIJ: "I know it is."
    mini-IJIJ: "You do?"
    IJIJ: "Yes. The PTO is, in fact, a real internet hoax."

    I'm never entirely sure they've heard the teachers entirely right, or whether they're pulling my leg.

    Just like around here.


    Filed under: I also pretend that I think they watch "Poke-man" while they discuss the fact that the new ones suck, but the old, classic ones are OK.

    You never even lived in the 20th century. Classic?


  • sockdevs

    @Jaloopa said:

    Don't forget the BOFH

    ah, an absolute classic! they're still being published today, although they have kind of jumped the shark.


  • area_deu


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election



  • @PJH said:

    The tongue map or taste map is a common misconception that different sections of the tongue are exclusively responsible for different basic tastes

    When I heard the story, it went that the teacher said something like "only your tongue can taste, not the back of your throat".



  • @PJH said:

    dihydrogen monoxide
    Time Cube
    goatse.cx
    Acts of Gord
    Rotten.com

    I know about all of these, but I had never heard of the Pacific Tree Octopus until this thread.



  • oh hai, that thing posted up-thread :smirk:


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @chubertdev said:

    oh hai, that thing posted up-thread

    sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
    <TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders...



  • hey, it's back!



  • @PJH said:

    new old things

    Zombo.com
    Mahir

    I seem to remember a website called "peiceofshit" (remember because of the misspelling) that was a fake news article were you could insert a friend's name, but I can't find any reference to it anymore.



  • @Zemm said:

    Zombo.com
    Mahir

    Worse Than Failure


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