Male ♡s Female Greco-Roman wrestling



  • @boomzilla said:

    Or they just thought it was funny.

    I had this comeback planned where I was gonna say “whatever world you live in where it's not safe to assume that social media shares are transparently and one-dimensionally political, sounds nice” to the first person who said that, but maybe it'd be better just to state that a lot of times when someone writes something persuasive (especially if it's something that's emotionally persuasive but has no grounding in fact) about a controversial topic they wrap it in a joke, so that if anyone confronts them they can make that person seem like a spoilsport.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    What sort of person has to ruin jokes to assert that males and females are fundamentally the same?



  • Well, I suppose that the sort of person who believes that people are all fundamentally the same didn't find that joke funny to begin with. Or, more accurately, the actual joke in there had nothing to do with gender; the same setup has probably been retold with hundreds of different characters in each role.

    What kind of person just mindlessly consumes the shit that comes in from their facebook feed without considering what each post is trying to sell them?


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Buddy said:

    Well, I suppose that the sort of person who believes that people are all fundamentally the same didn't find that joke funny to begin with.

    Yes, that sort of person sounds pretty humorless.

    @Buddy said:

    What kind of person just mindlessly consumes the shit that comes in from their facebook feed without considering what each post is trying to sell them?

    I leave nasty comments on everything I see in facebook, so definitely not me!



  • No bite from me.

    Not interested in that debate ATM. Try 4chan.



  • It's cool, there's not really much to debate. The only observation I was trying to get out was that the story was written that way for a reason. I suppose if anyone can think of any reasons other than Christianity I'd be interested to hear them, but if not all good.



  • Like a shadow in the night, Hanz M. aka Hanzo is sitting in an abandoned cafeteria somewhere in Rhineland-Westphalia.
    Ever since the evil space aliens invaded, Hanzo's life has changed entirely. Taking a sip of chamomile tea he thinks back to the time when he and Gertrude were fighting against the forces of evil together. When suddenly a Neanderthal jumped down in front of him through a hole in the ceiling. Within a timespan shorter than a clock cycle in one of the space aliens' communicators, Hanzo unsheathed his lightsaber and sliced the Neanderthal in half and resumed drinking his cup of tea. "What am I fighting for?", Hanzo quietly said to himself. "Why is Germany infested with Troglodytes?". But no answer could be heard.

    Feel free to continue this.



  • Tea meditation was Laurie's standard procedure after a contract murder. She didn't need to calm down anymore, she just enjoyed it. The killing itself was pretty quick and clean, setting up the ambush and dumping the body in six different rivers required a lot of time, and unless she was working an emergency contract, a lot of research.

    Usually she would take some time off, but this was part of a Chain, and she would either get a call for her next contract now or within a month. She quite hoped for the latter, such that she would have time visit her mother. Theoretically she could refuse the next one altogether, but she knew it would not be tactically justifiable to upset Mr Cell.

    One queue, the phone rang. A part of her hoped it would be Carl, maybe she would get to see her mother. It wasn't.

    And that's how you steal the genre. :P.

    Edit: Or we can do @aliceif's thing. I'm not too fussed.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @boomzilla said:

    Only in the snow. And maybe in Japanese urinals, if I ever come across one.

    Google image search didn't really enlighten me on why snow and Japanese urinals are similar for that purpose...

    In fact quite a few of them I'd consider spoilering if I CBA to post them...



  • #thathappened

    pretty funny though, have my uptoke



  • @aliceif said:

    Like a shadow in the night, Hanz M. aka Hanzo is sitting in an abandoned cafeteria somewhere in Rhineland-Westphalia.Ever since the evil space aliens invaded, Hanzo's life has changed entirely. Taking a sip of chamomile tea he thinks back to the time when he and Gertrude were fighting against the forces of evil together. When suddenly a Neanderthal jumped down in front of him through a hole in the ceiling. Within a timespan shorter than a clock cycle in one of the space aliens' communicators, Hanzo unsheathed his lightsaber and sliced the Neanderthal in half and resumed drinking his cup of tea. "What am I fighting for?", Hanzo quietly said to himself. "Why is Germany infested with Troglodytes?". But no answer could be heard.

    He took a calm, long look at his teenage daughter's photography, still slipped in his wallet, like it always has been. She should be home by now, he thought. She wasn't around too much lately, always dropping her bag after school and rushing out to "meet with friends". Hanzo tried to give her some personal space, but there was always this tingling feeling that every father has - the fear of losing that bond only a parent and child can have. But she was 17 now, he kept saying to himself, she needs to meet people, make friends, perhaps fall in love, and I can't keep her in a bell jar all the time...


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @PJH said:

    Google image search didn't really enlighten me on why snow and Japanese urinals are similar for that purpose...

    I hope the snow needs no explanation. Respond with an appropriate @blakeyrant and I'll explain, however.

    I just remember seeing something about the Japanese putting games or whatever in some urinals to encourage people to hit their targets. Or for entertainment. It's dangerous to ascribe motive to Japanese things IME.



  • Carl stared at his communicator. Why did it always have to be assassins? He liked Laurie, god damn it, they were great together, wasn't everyone always telling them how great they were? So why was he---
    A siren interrupted his reverie, and his door slid open “We need you Right Now!” Carl was through the door before his uniform even had a chance to close itself around his manly chest. This was what he needed. Some chaos in the abyss of space to make him forget about the chaos he felt inside himself.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Buddy said:

    I suppose if anyone can think of any reasons other than Christianity I'd be interested to hear them, but if not all good.

    I'd be interested why you brought up Christianity. Are you asserting that only Christian cultures have different roles for men and women? That there's something specific in the story that points to something Christian?

    Projection is an acceptable answer.



  • @boomzilla said:

    Projection

    Could easily be that. I grew up christian, and all of the people I know that would share something like that are christian, so I'm almost certainly biased. But I don't know what would drive a person to promote something like that, other than religion.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Buddy said:

    But I don't know what would drive a person to promote something like that, other than religion.

    What is being promoted, again? And how is religion driving this?

    Just trying to figure out what I'm being sold here...



  • Well, my understanding is that christians feel very strongly about the gender binary (because God created us that way), and are acting to reinforce it, as they correctly perceive that there are other elements in society trying to discredit it. I don't know who else would have written that story, or what their motivation was, but I would be interested to find out.



  • Someone who wants to make a joke about men vs. women.

    Also, the gender binary? People engaged in a discussion about gender, where the obvious hidden premisr is that male and female are the only two options, are a pet peeve of mine. In actual fact, there is no such binary and there is a large grey area between, and beside, the two. I personally am a male and I feel like one and am comfortable being one, but many people don't share my feelings about their own respective genders.

    Some people are born both male and female, some neither, some feel they are the wrong flavor. And here you are saying everybody is fundamentally the same? Not afaic.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Buddy said:

    I don't know who else would have written that story, or what their motivation was, but I would be interested to find out.

    I think they thought (accurately) that it would be funny to play off those stereotypes and would stare at you blankly if you presented your theory.

    @Buddy said:

    gender binary

    I think people who fight against this sort of thing are generally being pedantic dickweeds. Which is to say, obviously no (or few) people are truly so binary or uniform, but claiming that it's meaningless is like arguing that the sky isn't blue.



  • Agreed. 96-99% probably fit one gender fine.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    I mean, I get that the people who are really outside of the norm feel excluded, and that sucks. But it doesn't mean we should deny reality. I'm not sure what the best solution is, either.



  • Me neither.

    This is a fine joke for poking fun at stereotypes. If you want to go into the reality, then it breaks down. It's all well and good for @Buddy to be all PC about gender, but they should probably either lighten up or make decent arguments, I guess that's my point.



  • @toon said:

    People engaged in a discussion about gender, where the obvious hidden premisr is that male and female are the only two options

    That's all I was trying to say -- that, in my reading, the article was trying to further that premise. On social media, you can only assume that anyone is going to read the first couple of words of any post before they click share, so I think it's fair to read a lot into what's going on in the black and bold section. On the other hand, I freely admit that I might be over-sensitive to that kind of thing, having grown up hearing from every angle about how everyone else is trying to ruin our culture.



  • @toon said:

    I'm a guitar player in my spare time. I'll bet this would work great as a comedy duet.

    Verses written and performed by Iron Maiden and chorus written and performed by Taylor Swift. Genius!


  • BINNED

    So we won't be having a Crusade?

    Puts away sword and rides back to castle



  • @boomzilla said:

    I mean, I get that the people who are really outside of the norm feel excluded, and that sucks. But it doesn't mean we should deny reality. I'm not sure what the best solution is, either.

    Yeah. I personally see gender as a 2x2 matrix with non-exclusive options (this handles cis, trans, bi, and even that awkward case where you popped out of Mom with 2 Xs and a Y to your name), but that level of detail isn't necessary very often. As to handling the 'exclusion' problem? My answer is simple: pick a bandwagon and stick with it.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @antiquarian said:

    So we won't be having a Crusade?

    Puts away sword and rides back to castle

    Should we wander back to the Feudalism thread?



  • @Buddy said:

    Or, more accurately, the actual joke in there had nothing to do with gender; the same setup has probably been retold with hundreds of different characters in each role.

    Really? I've only ever seen it with a man and a woman. Please provide other examples to support your hyperbolic assertion.



  • Do we need a TDWTF law about how any joke around gender stereotypes will devolve into a flame war about sexual abnormalities (and by abnormality I mean something that is a relatively small statistical minority, not trying to insult anyone)?


  • ♿ (Parody)

    Fuck you statist asshole. We don't need more laws. Oh, er...



  • We moved this discussion to the feudalism thread. Cartman's thread is now for our creative writing project. Could someone please provide a characterization for hanz's daughter?



  • @cartman82 said:

    Hey if you wanna type that over, feel free.

    Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.


    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

    Meanwhile,
    Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

    Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

    You total $*&.

    Stupid %&#$!.


  • BINNED

    I call OCR shenanigans! The only other explanation would be a complete lack of life, and given this is TDWTF...

    ... carry on



  • Right. No chance I googled the Snopes article from 1997 and cut and pasted.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    No way! They disable that stuff with javascript or something!



  • @boomzilla said:

    No way! They disable that stuff with javascript or something!

    Does it really? This caused me to spend almost 2 minutes trying to figure out what I'm doing that blocked that, but even a bog standard install of IE11 didn't stop me from doing so.

    I'm bored now.


  • kills Dumbledore

    Their text selection is pretty weird. I've always put it down to things being in weird layers or something



  • Maybe he was fondling a small boy as he entered the bar, thus being able to guess with some accuracy that it was a Catholic priest?



  • @Buddy said:

    Whoever wrote and shared this really wants people to believe that men and women are fundamentally different. Does anyone know what type of person wants that, and why?

    Well, obviously, it's the Illuminati Lizardmenpeople who run the New World Order and control the Earth's governments from the planet Nibiru.



  • That's what I was getting at, I just didn't want to be the first one to say it.



  • @Spencer said:

    Well, obviously, it's the Illuminati Lizard[s]men[/s]people who run the New World Order and control the Earth's governments from the planet Nibiru.

    Don't you slander lizardpeople like that, you sniveling, racist wretch, you!


  • ♿ (Parody)

    You know what pisses me off more than anything is all these people who aren't exactly politically correct. Like the other day, I was out walking my Siberian-American huskies. and you know how canines are: they like to sniff everything, including each other's butts.

    So some guy walks up and he says, "Get your dog's ass out of that other dog's nose!"

    So I replied, "How dare you call them dogs! They're Siberian-American huskies. That's like calling an African-American a black. Or calling a Mexican-American a Mexican. Or calling a homosexual a stupid faggot!"

    It pissed me off so much i got a nose ring, died my hair blue and moved to San Francisco!



  • @Spencer said:

    Well, obviously, it's the Illuminati Lizard[s]men[/s]people who run the New World Order and control the Earth's governments from the planet Nibiru.

    *watches Spencer get chased around by several angry Argonians wielding spears and crossbows*


  • ♿ (Parody)

    Woman Arrested for Being Awesome

    That's Ace's headline, not mine. Excerpt:

    The guy awoke to discover he was being -- and I'm not really joking here -- sexually violated. He did not stop the act. Instead, he activated his phone flashlight to see who it was, and then made a decision.



  • @boomzilla said:

    died my hair blue

    Guess you don't miss your hair?



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    He took a calm, long look at his teenage daughter's photography

    Toku M. threw her camera under the park bench. Her father had always appreciated her talent, but lately she just never seemed to find the time for it. And today was no exception. He was here, that mysterious Siberian-American Husky that she'd been spending all her time with, here at the park. She didn't know where he came from, but when she sank into his warm fur, she could see forever.

    Today they were on the plains of prehistoric earth, and her dog was a huge primal wolf, alpha-leader of the squadron tasked with stopping an incursion of the time-hopping lizardfolk. She was a bolt of lightning, leaping from reptilian to reptilian, but her power came at a terrible price—for every being she struck down here in the past, she spent another hour in the park, running and playing with that beautiful dog (she was gonna ache in the morning)—and then she was fire, and the wolves' white fur became singed and sooty as she rained down. Then she was Earth, the entire planet, and she could feel the essence of every living being, even the lizardfolk they were fighting. She almost had a moment of clarity, but she reached out to the one mind she cared about, felt his urgency, and did the only thing she could to protect him, and then she was flying. Everything else slipped away, the sky was like a memory-foam pillow that she knew would never forget her, holding her close no matter how she soared or swooped. Then she hit the ocean, and the waves pulled her under.

    ...teenagers, right.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @redwizard said:

    Guess you don't miss your hair?

    It really is appalling how terrible song lyrics are for spelling. I corrected a bunch of stuff but that slipped through.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @boomzilla said:

    Woman Arrested for Being Awesome

    From a link in the link:

    Megan Davis Hoelting, 31, allegedly snuck into the sleeping man's bedroom in only a nightgown and began to perform fellatio, according to a felony criminal complaint. Her arrest Monday was her fourth this month.

    Spoilers:

    [spoiler] She was arrested three other times this month. She was collared for alleged theft Oct. 14, alleged assault Oct. 16 and alleged public intoxication Oct. 21.
    [/spoiler]

    She's a looker...

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1993839.1414719580!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/hoelting31n-1-web.jpg?enlarged



  • @boomzilla said:

    The guy awoke to discover he was being -- and I'm not really joking here -- sexually violated. He did not stop the act. Instead, he activated his phone flashlight to see who it was, and then made a decision.

    I don't see the problem with what he did here. For one, he may have wanted to make sure it wasn't his wife/gf (assuming he had one) that had snuck in.
    Also, just trying to push her off suddenly without any other indication that he was awake first could end up very badly (teeth).
    Understanding the situation (ie. who's climbed into bed with him) and then deciding how to approach it seems a logical approach. <but then again this is a man we're talking about. he can't be raped by a woman because he's a man! /s>


  • kills Dumbledore

    @PJH said:

    She's a looker

    Misogynist!


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