Title is required *little wiggle*



  • What exactly is this telling me? Before I update my phone I have to remove 30 MB from it? Or... if I install this update the application will be 30 MB smaller? Or...



  • Oh I see why: their update server is so slow I'm only downloading at 70 kb/s. No wonder they trimmed that 30 MB.



  • Let's see what wins... my phone's hard reset which takes forever, or Nokia's update server which takes also-forever.

    It looks like the loser is... is... me.



  • Phone hard reset... complete. Initial setup wizard... complete. Download... 68%.

    Wasn't a good idea for Nokia to save money on web servers by using surplus Commodore 64s.



  • Whoa, they reduced the installer size by 30MB. And they released an update so everyone can get the reduced-size instal--

    wait.



  • English is an evolving language, and so not bound by any rules of punctuation or grammar.

    My interpretation: you are required to download and install an update containing an optimised driver to continue using this application – the optimisation being that the installer is now 30MB smaller.

    Which at least makes more sense than the original text. Even if only in a formal sense.



  • Yeah wait a minute, if they have a smaller installer, why wouldn't they link to that in the first place?

    Let's just bow down and say: thank God Microsoft is writing Nokia's software for them.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    It looks like the loser is... is... me.

    Well, you bought a Windows Phone product, so - yes.



  • OH SNAP but who's gonna be jealous when I'm ordering a naked blue digital chick to add reminders to my calendar? TUFTY IS!



  • Oh hey it turned out the original issue wasn't even related to needing a reset. The phone won't stay connected to my wifi access point at 5 ghz, once I switched it to the 2.4 ghz antenna, ZAM works fine.

    Well whatever, it's just an hour of my FUCKING TIME wasted.



  • I love the idea of shipping a required update where the only thing that changed was the installer.



  • Wow the Wifi Sense feature in WP8.1 sounds super dangerous... no thanks there.



  • However, Cortana is really slick. "Remind me at work tomorrow to put coworkers emails in my phone"

    "Ok"

    BAM. In the reminders. Keyed to geographical location. SLICKER THAN SNOT.



  • ROFL. If you have WP 8.1, ask Cortana "who would win in a fight, you or Siri?" Fucking hilarious.

    I wonder how many of these type of questions they have preloaded answers for.



  • "What do you think of Google?"

    "Impressive achievement. Still, I can get everything I need from Bing."

    Classy.

    "What do you think of Android?"

    "Solid name. 10 points for the name."

    "What do you think about iPhone?"

    "Consider this a polite dodge of the question."

    ... OK I could do this all night, I gotta go to bed. Cortana has thousands of these.



  • So basically, some installer coder was so impressed with their achievement, they created a whole new update just to show off? Like a kid pulling on mommy's skirt with their latest stickman drawing, asking to be put on the fridge, when HE'S THE FUCKING REASON SHE ENDED UP SETTLING DOWN WITH THAT BEER-BELLY DRUNKARD INSTEAD OF GOING OFF TO COLLEGE TO CHASE HER DREAMS!?



  • Why is mommy wearing a skirt? Does she have somewhere fancy to go?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Cortana has thousands of these.

    Did Jeff work for MS's Windows Phone team? 'Cause adding "funny" responses instead of fixing real issues is remarkably similar to Jeff's approach for Discourse v1.0;

    Fuck the actual bugs, let's randomly fritz with the UI some more.

    I'm actually really surprised that there isn't a "funny" handler for http://what.thedailywtf.com/phpbb3

    Filed under: Someone should probably suggest this for v1.0



  • There's some good parts to WiFi Sense, like having bogus details (it was a while ago I set it up, but from memory the default values were bogus) saved for connecting to public WiFi networks that want them, and an option to auto-accept the T&Cs for those networks (you still have to say you want to connect to the network, don't worry).
    Also, there's a new option for turning WiFi off until you reach a favourite location. Good for if you want to save battery until you get home late from the pub.

    Btw, don't forget to add interests in Cortana's notebook, especially traffic. She'll start to learn when you get to work and when you get home, and will notify you when to leave to get there (home, work, other calendar events) on time based on the current traffic.



  • @ben_lubar said:

    Why is mommy wearing a skirt? Does she have somewhere fancy to go?

    Everything else was dirty.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    "What do you think about iPhone?"

    "Consider this a polite dodge of the question."

    QFF



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Well whatever, it's just an hour of my FUCKING TIME wasted.

    Wow. That's a lot of lost fucking.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Let's just bow down and say: thank God Microsoft is writing Nokia's software for them.

    I've got a rabid community of Maemo and Meego advocates who would like to tighten your necktie for that.

    Although personally I think if the next version of Windows Phone supports powershell and WinRM, they might actually hook me.



  • @Zecc said:

    QFF

    Ok I'm stumped. What is QFF? Google sez Qatar Friendship Fund, but that seems just a tiny bit off-topic.



  • @kilroo said:

    I've got a rabid community of Maemo and Meego advocates who would like to tighten your necktie for that.

    Would you believe I worked on the Intel AppUp project?

    Care to guess how many Meego customers they had? (Actually I can't remember but it was, within experimental error, zero.) Meego was a huge failure in 2010. People wanting it in 2014 is just embarrassing for them.

    Probably the biggest success Meego ever had was convincing some exec at Intel to support it on their stupid failure of an app store that nobody wanted.



  • Quoted For Fuckall?
    Quoted For Foulness?
    Quoted For Frienship?
    Quoted For Fraternity?



  • @tufty said:

    Did Jeff work for MS's Windows Phone team? 'Cause adding "funny" responses instead of fixing real issues is remarkably similar to Jeff's approach for Discourse v1.0;

    No, it's simply better to anticipate such questions and provide hand crafted answers for them than finding generated answers in the "funnies" sections of the internet.

    IIRC, in the beginning Siri, when asked what the best smartphone was, answered with a Samsung Galaxy model...


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @blakeyrat said:

    Well whatever, it's just an hour of my FUCKING TIME wasted.

    I know I get mad when my fucking time is wasted.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Quoted for False/Fail, probably, as distinct from QFT.



  • I really thought it was Quoted For Funny, but that seemed too obvious. Yours seems obvious now that it's been said, though.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @boomzilla said:

    I really thought it was Quoted For Funny, but that seemed too obvious. Yours seems obvious now that it's been said, though.

    Quoted For Funny, because.

    But also, you must have had a temporary vapor lock and forgotten which site you're on.



  • @FrostCat said:

    But also, you must have had a temporary vapor lock and forgotten which site you're on.

    Could be. I think I just interpreted the actual quote as funny and not fail, and couldn't get past that, mentally. Then again, I had a major WHOOSH moment in the Likes thread yesterday, so maybe it's just me after all.



  • @boomzilla said:

    I really thought it was Quoted For Funny, but that seemed too obvious.
    Yes. That was what I meant. But apparently it was too obvious.



  • @Zecc said:

    Yes. That was what I meant. But apparently it was too obvious.

    Well, I meant too obvious to include when trolling @blakeyrat. It seemed clear to me what you meant.



  • That's something that's bothered me for a long time. Dialogs used to be OK/Cancel, left to right. When did they start moving to Cancel/OK, or the analogous in this case, Exit/Install?

    May be related to the everything-is-a-phone design camp. 90% of the world is right-handed. Most people would use their dominant hand to respond to a dialog on a phone, and having the usually-desired affirmative response on the right would decrease the likely hood of accidently pressing no.



  • Wow, not even being owned by Microsoft will stop a hardware company from making their software look completely non-native.

    Then again, Microsoft forgot they had design guidelines a few years ago anyways.



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    Wow, not even being owned by Microsoft will stop a hardware company from making their software look completely non-native.

    It's never stopped MS either. At least, not for a looong time. How long has Office been doing custom stuff?



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    Then again, Microsoft forgot they had design guidelines a few years ago anyways.

    Why wouldn't they? Apple shat all over their design guidelines back in 2002-2003, and they became wildly successful as a result.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Would you believe I worked on the Intel AppUp project?

    For the sake of argument, let's say I would. I'll look up what it was later.

    @blakeyrat said:

    Care to guess how many Meego customers they had? (Actually I can't remember but it was, within experimental error, zero.)

    You didn't let me guess! I would have guessed about twelve. Granted, that was without looking up what AppUp was, yet.

    I was a Maemo user, but I picked up a Meego device to play around with very late in the game, so I kinda missed out on whatever was going on with it while anyone was actually still pretending it might be relevant.

    @blakeyrat said:

    Meego was a huge failure in 2010. People wanting it in 2014 is just embarrassing for them.

    I said it was a rabid community, not a big one. And what they want isn't what Meego was then, or even what they think Meego could have been then, any more than what the average consumer today wants is the smartphone that was new in 2009...they really want the result of four years of improvements and updates on top of what they were hoping Meego would be before it was released.

    The Meego project was gutted, rushed to market, and then basically abandoned before it even hit the shelves, and the one device they put out (with Meego Harmattan, which was actually more of a Maemo 6 than it was Meego) was a halfhearted attempt at a main-market smartphone, not a device for tinkerers and developers...which on the surface makes sense, except that the tinkerers and developers were the ones who had been waiting for a successor to the n900 and Maemo and actually already had high hopes for the thing. So it's not really a surprise that it was never a commercial success. Heck, it might have been a surprise for it to be a commercial success if it hadn't been end-of-life on release.

    Anyhow, that rabid little community wouldn't actually want to tighten your necktie, really...they just wanted Elop kicked out (of technology in general, but at least out of Nokia) and consider Nokia's deal with Microsoft to have been the last nail in the coffin of what innovation Nokia might have had left to offer the mobile world.

    On the bright side, the big names in mobile OS space took probably 70% of the good ideas in Harmattan and started using them too, and Jolla is still trying to make a success out of the grandchild of the rest of it, with Sailfish. Which...actually I have no idea how that's going. And for the N900 fans, the http://neo900.org/ project actually looks rather astonishingly non-hopeless.



  • @kilroo said:

    I said it was a rabid community, not a big one.

    Oh so it's like those Amiga idiots. I get it now.

    @kilroo said:

    Meego Harmattan

    With branding like that, how could they have failed? What is that, like a portmanteau of "harm" and "Manhattan?" That name makes "Ice Cream Sandwich" look like a work of genius. Come to think of it, "Meego" makes "Wii" look like a work of genius.

    "Wii-U" is still fucking retarded though.

    @kilroo said:

    Anyhow, that rabid little community wouldn't actually want to tighten your necktie, really...they just wanted Elop kicked out (of technology in general, but at least out of Nokia) and consider Nokia's deal with Microsoft to have been the last nail in the coffin of what innovation Nokia might have had left to offer the mobile world.

    Any first-party software Nokia was working on was well-dead before Microsoft offered them a single cent.

    @kilroo said:

    And for the N900 fans, the http://neo900.org/ project actually looks rather astonishingly non-hopeless.

    Pretty sure we have a thread about that clunky-looking beast either on this forum or the CS one...



  • Thank you for documenting this process.


  • sockdevs

    /me was an Amiga fan back in the day. Terrible marketing and being a bit late to market in 1992-3 with the next generation of their technology...



  • @Nexzus said:

    That's something that's bothered me for a long time. Dialogs used to be OK/Cancel, left to right. When did they start moving to Cancel/OK, or the analogous in this case, Exit/Install?

    We have (or had; haven't seen it for a while) a tool here that opens a dialog with the button order (apparently) randomized. Forces you to pay attention to which button you're clicking. At least, I assume that's the reason.



  • @Nexzus said:

    That's something that's bothered me for a long time. Dialogs used to be OK/Cancel, left to right. When did they start moving to Cancel/OK, or the analogous in this case, Exit/Install?

    May be related to the everything-is-a-phone design camp. 90% of the world is right-handed. Most people would use their dominant hand to respond to a dialog on a phone, and having the usually-desired affirmative response on the right would decrease the likely hood of accidently pressing no.

    OK/Cancel is a Windows thing, Cancel/OK is a Linux thing.



  • @chubertdev said:

    OK/Cancel is a Windows thing, Cancel/OK is a LinuxGTK thing.

    FTFY



  • "Thing I don't use" thing



  • @chubertdev said:

    Cancel/OK is a Linux thing.

    You mean Mac Classic.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    You mean Mac Classic.

    You have really good attendance for a guy who just got out of a time pod.



  • The timepod lets me retroactively go back and visit any day I want!!!!!

    Oh wait that makes it sound even more pathetic somehow...



  • "Thing I don't use" thing


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