Cyber Coders



  • This wasn't quite strong enough for the front page, but I thought that it was especially funny today given the whole HiddenNetwork.com thing ... this doesn't beat the Dice ad I posted a while back, but still fun ...



  • Classic!  I think it DOES beat the DICE one .......



  • I think that means it has to really REALLY be true.



  • I'm starting to agree with you Jeff. The more I look at this ad, the more I say WTF.

    I just noticed another thing. Personally, I'd don't think i'd find a job "boring" if I got to work from my bedroom wearing nothing but underwear and a teeshift. Maybe that's just me.



  • as hard as it may be to fathom in this forum, there is nothing exciting about a new software engineering job.  unless that's engineering Hooter's waitress undergarments.



  • Finally we have found the guy who coded all the WTF posted here.



  • The mere idea for the code in the ad makes it cheesy. The fact that that the code's incorrect makes it legendary.



  • this was front page worthy... greatest ad ever.  Please tell me this is a joke you made to advertise your new employment website.... nope, just looked it up.. I guess it's not.  

     

     

    Wow, they don't have any jobs within 100 miles of me...  amazing.  I live 50 miles from boston and 50 miles from providence, RI.  in fact... 6,000,000 people live within 55 miles of me and they don't know of a single programming job...  bravo. 



  • Oi, with the way I code, I'd be perfect for these job search engine ads! My code would be the best of the best there hehe.

     

    Dim mySalary as string = "bad"

    Wait, I can do better!

    Dim myJobSalary as string
    myJobSalary = "bad"


    Wait a sec, I can do even BETTER. 


    Option Explicit Off ' Why would we dim things, just silly.

    imports System ' You never know when these are needed. Now, let's properly comment this.
    imports System.Collection ' Imports System Collection Namespace
    imports System.Threading ' Imports System threading Namespace
    imports System.Configuration ' Imports System Configuration Namespace
    imports Microsoft.Visualbasic.Scripting ' Imports VBScript namespace
    imports System.XML ' Imports XML namespace
    imports System.Data ' Imports Data Namespace
    imports System.Data.oleDB ' Imports system data oleDB namespace
    imports System.IO ' Imports IO namespace
    imports System.net ' Imports net namespace
    imports System.Web ' Imports web namespace
    imports System.Reflection ' Imports reflection namespace

    var1 = "it"
    var2 = "is"
    var3 =  "bad"

    mySalary = var1 & " " & var2 + " " & var3 

    Try
        If mySalary <> "it is awesome" then
           If mySalary <> "totally sweet" then
              If mySalary <> "Well, it's ok, though I think there should be a review of my skills and an increase in my yearly pay." then
                 If mySalary <> "yes" then
                    If mySalary <> "Fair" then
                       If mySalary = "it is bad" then
                          If isJobExciting not not false then
                             ApplyForANewJob("www.totallysweetcodingjobsforreal.com")
                                Else
                             DontApplyForANewJobButBrowseSiteInMildInterest("www.totallysweetcodingjobsforreal.com")
                           End If
                        End If
                       End If
                      End If
                    End If
                   End If
                End If

    Catch ex as Exception
        On Error Resume Next
    End Try

    Function isJobExciting()
        MessageBox.Show("Is your job exciting? If YES press RETRY, if NO press ABORT", "To Do: Add Title", Messagboxbuttons.abortretryignore, messageboxicon.error)


    If vbAbort not False then
         isJobExciting = False
    else if VbRetry is true then
        isjobexCiting = False
    End If

    End Function 




  • if (MyNewJobSalary == "I want a stronger salary")


    That expression will return false when it's Java.

    And that's not because Java jobs pay badly...

    (Hint for the non-Java people: == compares object references, not the contents of the strings) .



  • [quote user="jesperdj"]

    if (MyNewJobSalary == "I want a stronger salary")


    That expression will return false when it's Java.

    And that's not because Java jobs pay badly...

    (Hint for the non-Java people: == compares object references, not the contents of the strings) .

    [/quote]

    Your next task: Count the hints in the given source code that it is written in C#, not Java.
     



  • I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't take a job where my salary is a [i]string[/i] and not a [i]float[/i]. I guess [i]int[/i] would also be acceptable...



  • I want a salary only describable by an unsigned long 😉

     This is definitely right up there with the 'so bad it's good' category of WTFs!
     



  • [quote user="djork"]I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't take a job where my salary is a [i]string[/i] and not a [i]float[/i]. I guess [i]int[/i] would also be acceptable...[/quote]

    Preferably a long int.  Definitely not a byte or char!



  • DUDE!

    I just got a 32-bit raise, I'm now in the 64-bit salary range! Next year, I'm going for it. Yes, you know it. ... the megabit salary!

    SWEET!



  • wow, I made the mistake of reading that a few times and now my head really hurts...Almost like inserting the square peg into the round hole where my head is the round hole and the square peg is a sledge hammer.

    A true WTF!



  • The Real WTF(tm) is that his indentation is incorrect.  Right?



  • What if I want to ask for a raise instead?

     

    <font color="#006600">// Try 5000 times to get a raise!
    // This company is such crap.</font>
    <font color="#000099">while</font> ( !$raiseGiven && $askedTimes < 5000 )
    {

    $askedTimes++;
      $raiseGiven = $boss->askForRaise();
    }
    if(!$raiseGiven)
    {
    	$me->stealFromCompany(OFFICE_SUPPLIES);
     }



  • I also love the "if (statement == true)" paradigm. I see that all the time in peoples' code around here.



  • [quote user="djork"]I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't take a job where my salary is a [i]string[/i] and not a [i]float[/i]. I guess [i]int[/i] would also be acceptable...[/quote]


    Forget "float".  I want mine as a Bignum.



  • Aaaawww, I never get to wear underwear and party hats in my job. Except at Christmas parties, and then I always have to live it down the following year.

    And I want one of those streamer whistle things. They're sweet. And I'm sure they would improve my productivity and over all value to the company.


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