Counter trolling ideas



  • So, I just finished my first week at a new job. Overall it's been pretty great - a hell of a lot better than my last gig, where I did just about everything. During my time there I slowly progressed from dev to computer guy to general handyman. A few weeks before I gave my notice I literally had someone ask me if I knew anything about plumbing because they had broken the sink - but I digress.

    Anyway, new job. Pretty great. The industry isn't all that glamorous but it's a real dev job. But there's that guy (there always is) who thinks it's the height of hilarity to mess with your computer if you leave it unlocked. I'm not particularly worried because so far it seems like his default is to rotate your monitor display and whoop-dee-fucking-do, that takes two seconds to fix.

    So I'm trying to think of creative ways to counter-troll him. First thing I did was to take a shot of my computer with actual work open, flip the image and set that as my background. Auto-hide the start bar, hide desktop icons, and when I walk away just "Show Desktop" and presto - it looks like my screen's already been flipped.

    Other things I've been thinking about:

    1. Setting my desktop to look like the lock screen
    2. Overriding the screen orientation shortcut* to open a browser and play a random youtube video. Other suggestions are welcome - hopefully it's something loud and obnoxious so it'll get everyone's attention if he's fucking with my stuff.
    3. Preemptively flip my screens. This will go nicely with the flipped desktop background I've already done.
    4. Preemptively turn on High Contrast mode
    5. Unplug the keyboard/mouse when I leave my desk
    6. ??????

    *If Windows won't let me do this easily I'll probably just write a script to listen to keyboard input and run in the background. I can't image that will be difficult.

    That's all I've got so far. Any ideas? The office seems to think that he's a master trickster - I've been warned at least three or four times to always lock my computer when I'm away from my desk, but I am not impressed.


  • Banned

    Rub feces on decoy mouse?



  • Take something like this: http://www.rjlpranks.com/pranks/fake_delete/
    Script it to start on mouse click or move.
    Leave him a few seconds to panic while failing to stop it.
    Return to your desk.
    "YOU IDIOT WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
    If he flees before you return, mention how somebody has sabotaged your PC and you will get security involved.



  • Eh, I can't offer counter-trolling ideas, but what I would say is, that guy could really step up his game. He could:

    • change your keyboard layout, then lock your workstation
    • send an email to the group saying you'll buy lunch somewhere

    Really, there isn't more I can think of unless he starts combining things or escalates to actually sabotaging (those are the worst I ever did, but when I had done it, the whole group would to anyone who left their computer unlocked, not just one person doing it to everyone else).



  • I don't know if going straight to biological warfare is wise. Cause eventually you end up with this happening at some point.



  • Haven't read the whole thing yet but your old job suuuuucked.

    I had a job like that in 2004. The office was in a strip mall in a shit suburb of Fort Worth. In the summers I could swear I was working in a sweat shop in Laos. Summer is when people racked up traffic tickets (the company was an in house and online Defensive Driving School I built with the help of a remote developer that had better Linux Admin skills than me) and our 'used' rack servers were pieces of shit and constantly failed at the worst times.

    What made it extra special was the lack of adequate AC in my office closet. The servers sat behind me. When my office climbed to 90 degrees the systems would buckle and so would my psychology.

    Filed Under: derailThread(activate=1)



  • How evil are you...If you are feeling extra deviant then take his work email and follow these instructions.

    But like.it says if it you have good email spam counter-measures then it would fall off.

    Even better, you can opt in his email to newsletter digests for erotica fantasy writer sites like this one: http://satinsubmissions.com

    That would make for and interesting WTF.



  • If you're out for revenge, one of my favorites is to put a piece of masking tape or a Post-It note over the sensor of an optical mouse. That one usually keeps 'em occupied for a few minutes.



  • Install a camera at your work. Get a two way walkie talkie. Get a Bane voice emulator. Start convo when you see him on camera.



  • @Frank said:

    Get a Bane voice emulator.

    Nah, HAL 9000 is where it's at.


    Filed under: just what do you think you're doing dave?



  • A common one around here is instead of flipping screen orientation is to reverse mouse orientation



  • I usually made a screenshot of the desktop, set that as background, then moved some of the icons to a folder in user profile. Results in some desktop icons that work, and some that don't.



  • @ChaosTheEternal said:

    Really, there isn't more I can think of unless he starts combining things or escalates to actually sabotaging

    Open browser. Navigate to porn site. Clear history. Close browser.

    Don't know if the company in question is having a policy about what sites are allowed to visit during work hours, but with the wrong company in the wrong country something like that can cost you your job.

    Therefore, @mikeTheLiar (hope the mention is ok in this context): check if your company is logging traffic. If the ip of your machine is fixed and can be attributed to you, better lock your screen in your absence. And rather think about what you can do to his workstation.


  • sockdevs

    That's just reminded me of another WTF I should write up some time.



  • @mikeTheLiar said:

    I'm not particularly worried because so far it seems like his default is to rotate your monitor display and whoop-dee-fucking-do, that takes two seconds to fix.

    That's the default round here now, since sending 'funny' emails from that persons email account gained a bit of heat from someone 'accidentally' emailing an external customer offering free blow jobs.
    Rotate the screens in different directions, disable the hotkey, kill the app in the tray and then lock his computer. Takes a bit more effort to recover from the first couple of times, he might learn.



  • Create an app that runs as a process and switches his mouse button orientation for a period of a couple of seconds at random intervals. Alternatively, do the same with his keyboard layout. If it's infrequent enough, it'll be very confusing.



  • @Keith said:

    Create an app that runs as a process and switches his mouse button orientation for a period of a couple of seconds at random intervals. Alternatively, do the same with his keyboard layout. If it's infrequent enough, it'll be very confusing.

    I once put a program that moved the mouse pointer around a bit every now and then on coworker's computer. It was just infrequent enough that he wasn't sure if he was seeing it happening or not for a while.


  • Banned

    Clippy parody app is the best thing ever. He questions the nature of your existence.

    Also these things are diabolical:

    And



  • This calls for an app!

    You could probably whip up something in a few minutes that...

    • Uses SetCursor to move the cursor randomly when the mouse is moved
    • Uses RegisterHotKey to remap every key on the keyboard to play a sound

    Then, once you get back to your desk, congratulate him on a job well done. And ask how to undo the thing he did?



  • Possibly the simplest idea:

    Loosen your monitor cable.


  • Banned

    Confirmed, I have done this to myself on my own machine. Though I tend to bump the tower with my chair a lot.



  • The simplest pranks are always the best:

    Remove the monitor from his workstation and hide it in a storeroom somewhere.

    Replace it with the enormous lizard of the same name.



  • @da_Doctah said:

    enormous



  • Not trolling, but a very good solution against this thing is BlueProximity. As long as you keep your phone in your pocket you never need worry about locking your computer. Just walk away and it locks, approach and it unlocks.


  • :belt_onion:

    @codinghorror said:

    The Keystroker periodically makes random mouse movements and types out odd garbage text and phrases.

    Unless it's the Munchkin Song, pass.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @martijntje said:

    BlueProximity

    This? A 57K python script to do what I did in 14 lines of bash:

    #!/bin/sh
    
    PHONE_ADDR=A4:EB:D3:17:BB:1D
    PHONE_NAME="GT-I9305"
    
    while true; do
            if [ "$(hcitool name $PHONE_ADDR)" \!= "$PHONE_NAME" ]; then
                    dbus-send --type=method_call --dest=org.freedesktop.ScreenSaver /ScreenSaver org.freedesktop.ScreenSaver.Lock
                    sleep 30s
            else
                    sleep 15s
            fi
    done
    

    :shakes head:



  • Are those 57K lines bothering you? I have never checked the code, always just installed it through the package manager. Works well enough, has an easy GUI so that even your grandmother would understand it.

    Sure, you can make everything into small custom scripts to save a few bytes and CPU-cycles. It does seem kind of pointless to do that in an era where most people have plenty of both.


  • :belt_onion:

    You used dbus. That's cheating. You have to invent your own inter-process communication pipeline damn it!



  • @martijntje said:

    Sure, you can make everything into small custom scripts to save a few bytes and CPU-cycles. It does seem kind of pointless to do that in an era where most people have plenty of both.

    Elegance is its own reward.



  • @mikeTheLiar said:

    So I'm trying to think of creative ways to counter-troll him.

    Get him reprimanded or fired. Or plain old physical violence, starting with a proper dopeslap.

    I have zero patience for "jokers" like that.



  • @da_Doctah said:

    Replace it with the enormous lizard of the same name.

    We've replaced John's monitor with a screaming mandril ape. Let's see if he notices.



  • Next thing you know the janitor starts complaining about all these shit throwing monkeys.


    Filled under: It wasn't me, it was the monkey!


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @trithne said:

    Elegance is its own reward.

    But you've got to pay the bills anyway.



  • Implying that they haven't been doing that the whole time


    Filed Under: Sales Office


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