Non-IT WTF: you can't spell hypocrite without HR


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    I've had long hair for years. In fact, it's a curious fact that I actually know the last time I had short hair. It was 17th May 2000, the day before my 'GCSE' exams began. Ever since I've had long hair, with or without Stallman style beard.

    And when I started working in the corporate world, I generally tied it back. I didn't work in a customer-facing role, so being perfectly tidy wasn't a requirement, especially when shuffling bits of paper between departments.

    Until the one day that I happened to snap my hair band.

    Now, I was shuffling paperwork to the first floor (this was a strange company, at the time it only rented first through third floors of the building, leaving ground, fourth and fifth floors; if you're reading in America, we use a zero-based system for numbering floors in the UK, please off-by-one) which is where HR lived.

    People avoided HR wherever possible, and everything I'd read in Dilbert was coming true. And I knew who the head of HR was, I'd seen her in passing.

    The problem was, she'd seen me in passing and decided that it was inappropriate for me to be walking around with long hair that wasn't tied back. And threatened to write me up for poor attire.

    Now, I'd only been there a short while, so I was still within my probationary period so being fired was theoretically a possibility but I suddenly collected my wits.

    There's nothing in the uniform code about the office workers with regards to hair. Men's attire rules at the time: shirt, tie, trousers, reasonably smart shoes, with slightly-more-casual Fridays. Nothing about hair.

    I asked her whether she intended to discriminate against me for being male since if she was to enforce men with long hair being tied back, she would have to enforce that for women too. Including herself.

    I have never seen anyone in HR backpedal so quickly, scurrying back to the cave. She never bothered me again after that and I subsequently left my hair down after that in protest.



  • #YesAllHippies



  • @Arantor said:

    I asked her whether she intended to discriminate against me for being male since if she was to enforce men with long hair being tied back, she would have to enforce that for women too. Including herself.

    No kidding. She didn't think that one through.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    Indeed, you really can't spell HR without hypocrite :smiley:



  • If you were from, say, China, you might try to spell it HL.



  • I currently have long hair that is not tied back (because it is not quite long enough to tie back effectively, yet). It is very unlikely that I will ever be in this situation, but I will certainly remember this if I am.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Good on ya! But you can't spell c<mark>hr</mark>istmas without it, so don't get cocky.

    Filed under: owner of reasonably short hair because it's annoying when it gets in my eyes


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    I prefer to call it Yule if I have to give it a name since that's the festival co-opted into becoming Christmas.



  • @Arantor said:

    I have never seen anyone in HR backpedal so quickly, scurrying back to the cave. She never bothered me again after that and I subsequently left my hair down after that in protest

    +1

    Since I have hit my daily like limit (and likes don't mean anything anymore), I wanted to express my appreciation for this post as a fellow long-haired worker-drone.



  • @GOG said:

    fellow long-haired worker-drone

    +1, because I'm out of likes, too.



  • @Arantor said:

    I actually know the last time I had short hair. It was 17th May 2000

    Was that the day where you cut your hair long?

    Wait... that's not how it works. Was that the day where your hair grew the millimeter that makes the difference between short and long?



  • I think I'm in the clear by saying my mustache will be thirty years old on November 5th of this year. That's the day I threw out my back and couldn't shave for a couple of weeks (couldn't lean into the mirror to see what I was doing). When the back finally got a little better I decided to keep it. Have since shaved off the goatee I started at the same time and gone through some other configurations, but I haven't cleared the upper lip since.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    No, that was the day I last went into a place-that-cuts-hair and asked them to cut it all short. Since then it's had the occasional trim to deal with split ends but that's about it.



  • @da_Doctah said:

    but I haven't cleared the upper lip since.

    From the time in my (late) teens when my facial hair first grew in, I was never clean-shaven until I was 32. For Halloween that year, I wore a costume in the style of roughly Revolutionary War/Mozartian era, and the beard and moustache just didn't go with it. I remember how old I was just because it was a couple of months before I met my (now ex-) wife, who told me she wouldn't have even looked at me twice if I'd still had the beard; our first date was my 33rd birthday.

    @Arantor said:

    that was the day I last went into a place-that-cuts-hair and asked them to cut it all short

    I remember roughly when I got my long hair cut short (at the request of my then-girlfriend, now ex-wife), about 2-3 months after we started dating; but have no idea when I stopped getting it cut either of the times I have let it grow long.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    As I recall I did it to win a bet at that point, but that was when I was still in school and £10 was worth more than it is now.



  • Nice work. There seems to be a strain of people who like abusing their authority and you call them out on it then and there, which isn't nearly as easy as abusing authority.

     
     
     
    *Ain't that the truth!

    • dh*


  • @da_Doctah said:

    I think I'm in the clear by saying my mustache will be thirty years old on November 5th of this year. That's the day I threw out my back and couldn't shave for a couple of weeks (couldn't lean into the mirror to see what I was doing). When the back finally got a little better I decided to keep it. Have since shaved off the goatee I started at the same time and gone through some other configurations, but I haven't cleared the upper lip since.

    I had a goatee from high school all the way up until about 4 years ago, when my then girlfriend convinced me to shave it. Haven't grown it back since, but my wife tells me that if I ever need to signal to her that it's over, all I would need to do is to grow it back.

    That being said, I don't really do facial hair outside of my playoff beard.



  • @Arantor said:

    I asked her whether she intended to discriminate against me for being male since if she was to enforce men with long hair being tied back, she would have to enforce that for women too. Including herself.

    I have never seen anyone in HR backpedal so quickly, scurrying back to the cave. She never bothered me again after that and I subsequently left my hair down after that in protest.

    Good game, well played! :thumbsup:



  • @Arantor said:

    Until the one day that I happened to snap my hair band.

    Not that you weren't completely in the right, but this is the reason I carry an extra hair band on my keyring. Never know when one might break. (Actually, I started carrying it after forgetting to wear one on an amusement park trip -- one backwards-running roller coaster and all my hair ended up in front of my face. Never again.)



  • Well, damn. I used to have ass-length hair just a while ago, but never had any problems with that. And I've never tied them back.

    Then again, my current workplace doesn't give a flying fuck about how one looks, as long as they deliver code. People roll Apocalyptica t-shirts every day.



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    Then again, my current workplace doesn't give a flying fuck about how one looks, as long as they deliver code. People roll Apocalyptica t-shirts every day.

    Ehhh, I wear my Black Sabbath shirt on a bunch of Fridays, but it's more of a corporate environment. I think band shirts are normally ok, but I'm not exactly going to wear my Loading Artist shirt.




  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place


  • sockdevs

    "Cthulhu asks why the sales figures for Q4 are below expectations"



  • @dkf said:

    Linked off that is this image…

    "...so if you could just do that for me, that'd be gre-e-eat"



  • My first IT job was in a consultant business so I had to cut my hair as soon as the time to start going out to customers began.

    I've never looked back. Fuck taking care of long hair.


  • mod

    Long hair on guys is one of my turn-ons, as those in the Sekret PM Club can probably guess >.>


  • sockdevs

    As a new member, I was unaware of that fact

    Real me has short hair BTW



  • @dstopia said:

    Fuck taking care of long hair.

    This. Short hair is way easier, and looks smarter anyway.


  • sockdevs

    @dstopia said:

    Fuck taking care of long hair.

    if it weren't for the fact that it would take more effort than having short hair i'd be tempted to shave and go bald....

    now that would be a fashion statement to boot!



  • @Yamikuronue said:

    Long hair on guys is one of my turn-ons, as those in the Sekret PM Club can probably guess >.>

    My long hair is in front.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @loopback0 said:

    This. Short hair is way easier, and looks smarter anyway.

    I went a step further and keep it constantly up. No, not that spiky shit with loads of gel, I had to do that in the beginning but now it just grows like that naturally. I know some people probably look down on that but I don't give a rat's ass; it's never in my eyes, combing usually involves just running a brush through it toward the back of my head and it's relatively manageable even when it gets a bit longer, though I do try to keep it pretty short.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @boomzilla said:

    My long hair is in front.

    Combover, eh?


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @boomzilla said:

    My long hair is in front.

    We don't want to know about your pubes



  • @loopback0 said:

    This. Short hair is way easier, and looks smarter anyway.

    Depends. I look like an 8-year-old when short-haired. They're just too straight with no curls or anything, so they look awesome when long, but when short I look more like this guy:



  • I meant like 3mm short.



  • Then I look like an escaped convict. No deal either.



  • Need to go shorter then!



  • @Maciejasjmj said:

    when short I look more like this guy

    Could be worse. When short, my hair tends to look entirely too much like this guy:



  • Intentional Necro Dicksores.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.