Yahoo is worth less than nothing



  • http://www.vox.com/2014/4/17/5624130/yahoos-core-business-is-worth-less-than-nothing

    Yahoo owns 24% of Alibaba which works out to approximately $40 Billion.  And they also own 35% of Yahoo Japan which comes out to about $9 Billion.  So Yahoo's share of those 2 companies totals about $49 Billion.  But, on April 17, Yahoo's market cap was only $36 Billion, so without those 2 companies, Yahoo is worth -13 Billion.

    Not necessary accurate, but still humorous.



  •  About damn time the market figured out what the rest of us already knew...



  • Do you have any idea how much antimatter $18446744060709551616 can buy?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Ben L. said:

    Do you have any idea how much antimatter $18446744060709551616 can buy?
    18 quintillion? That's close to the cost of 200 Antimatter Condensers.



  • @Ben L. said:

    Do you have any idea how much antimatter $18446744060709551616 can buy?
    Well, they did buy that one anti-matter startup that turned out to be just a 17 year old kid with an old food replicator and a broken warp coil he stole from a homeless Ferengi.



    1. Vox? The shit?

    2. It's awesome that even in this massively-inflated Dot-com Bubble 2.0 where companies like Twitter--that will only ever lose money--are worth $30 billion, Yahoo! is actually negative in value.

    3. I didn't read the article (because: Vox), but it almost seems like they're implying Yahoo! is under-valued and you should invest in it. I hope that's not the case.

    4. I think $49 billion is too low. I mean, Marissa Mayer's fun bags have got to be worth at least $100k. (Well, that's probably what they cost Larry Page.)

    5. I've had several opportunities to work there. I've always taken it as a personal insult that someone would consider me to be Yahoo! material.



  • Does this mean Yahoo! Inc. should just fire everyone and become "24% of Alibaba! Inc."?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    it almost seems like they're implying Yahoo! is under-valued and you should invest in it.
    I think what they are saying is that Yahoo's only value is from part ownership of an unrelated company and it's "core business" (whatever the fuck that is) is worth nothing.

    Seems like there's a business opportunity here - sell off all their shares of Alibaba, Yahoo Japan and Marissa's boobs and get more money than the company is currently worth,


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @El_Heffe said:

    Seems like there's a business opportunity here - sell off all their shares of Alibaba, Yahoo Japan and Marissa's boobs and get more money than the company is currently worth
    It does mean that they are very vulnerable to a hostile takeover, fuelled by a ton of borrowing. A Wall St. special. Assuming that a sufficiently large number of the shares are actually in play and not held by large shareholders with interests of their own in keeping Yahoo going (and no vicious poison-pill hidden in there).

    A lot of corporations got taken apart this way in the 1980s when some smartass figured out clever ways to get unusually cheap money. What's happened before may happen again.



  • @dkf said:

    It does mean that they are very vulnerable to a hostile takeover, fuelled by a ton of borrowing.

    I dunno, is anyone going to bother with a hostile takeover just to get non-controlling shares of Alibaba and Yahoo! Japan? I mean, those two companies are probably overvalued. And given that Alibaba is Chinese and Yahoo! Japan is Japanese, that puts up even more barriers.

    @dkf said:

    A lot of corporations got taken apart this way in the 1980s when some smartass figured out clever ways to get unusually cheap money. What's happened before may happen again.

    I think you really misunderstand the phenomenon. Activist investors took over failing, dying companies and did what they could to revive them and turn them profitable again. The takeovers had to be hostile because the companies would rather continue sinking into bankruptcy than actually change course. And the activist investors saw that the company could be profitable again, if only it would make some changes, which is why they targeted those companies.

    Anyway, hostile takeovers had very little to do with cheap money. And they still happen today, although they're less common because the mere existence of activist investors has had the effect of changing the way companies run themselves, lest someone swoop in and force them to change.



  • @dkf said:

    @El_Heffe said:
    Seems like there's a business opportunity here - sell off all their shares of Alibaba, Yahoo Japan and Marissa's boobs and get more money than the company is currently worth
    It does mean that they are very vulnerable to a hostile takeover, fuelled by a ton of borrowing.

    Who in their right fucking mind would want to own Yahoo? That's like paying for the skankiest prostitute downtown because you know she's gonna give you an STD.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    it almost seems like they're implying Yahoo! is under-valued and you should invest in it.
    I think what they are saying is that Yahoo's only value is from part ownership of an unrelated company and it's "core business" (whatever the fuck that is) is worth nothing.

    Seems like there's a business opportunity here - sell off all their shares of Alibaba, Yahoo Japan and Marissa's boobs and get more money than the company is currently worth,



    Not really. The "unrelated business" are basically "Yahoo China and Japan." Pretty much all this signifies is that Yahoo is doing better in Asia.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @The_Assimilator said:

    Who in their right fucking mind would want to own Yahoo?
    Someone who wants to sell off all the pieces that are worth more than the net value of the company and then declare the rest bankrupt having spirited the profits from all the sales out of there. Duh!



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    @dkf said:
    @El_Heffe said:
    Seems like there's a business opportunity here - sell off all their shares of Alibaba, Yahoo Japan and Marissa's boobs and get more money than the company is currently worth
    It does mean that they are very vulnerable to a hostile takeover, fuelled by a ton of borrowing.

    Who in their right fucking mind would want to own Yahoo? That's like paying for the skankiest prostitute downtown because you know she's gonna give you an STD.

    This makes me think: there are probably some Wall Street traders who get off on paying hookers to buy crappy stocks. "Yeah, you buy that Yahoo!.. Yeah.. that's a dirty girl.."



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    Who in their right fucking mind would want to own Yahoo? That's like paying for the skankiest prostitute downtown because you know she's gonna give you an STD.
     

    but they just got a new logo



  • @dhromed said:

    @The_Assimilator said:

    Who in their right fucking mind would want to own Yahoo? That's like paying for the skankiest prostitute downtown because you know she's gonna give you an STD.
     

    but they just got a new logo

    And Marissa helped design it because she knows how to click on the icon to launch Adobe Illustrator.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @El_Heffe said:

    @dhromed said:
    but they just got a new logo
    And Marissa helped design it because she knows how to click on the icon to launch Adobe Illustrator.
    She's such a nerd!



  • @dkf said:

    @El_Heffe said:
    @dhromed said:
    but they just got a new logo
    And Marissa helped design it because she knows how to click on the icon to launch Adobe Illustrator.
    She's such a nerd!



    "HAY GUIZE, I THINK THE TECH INDUSTRY HAS A REAL PROBLEM TAKING WOMEN SERIOUSLY! #WARONME"



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @dkf said:
    @El_Heffe said:
    @dhromed said:
    but they just got a new logo
    And Marissa helped design it because she knows how to click on the icon to launch Adobe Illustrator.
    She's such a nerd!


    "HAY GUIZE, I THINK THE TECH INDUSTRY HAS A REAL PROBLEM TAKING WOMEN SERIOUSLY! #WARONME"



    Wow, you have a real hate-boner for marissa mayer. Did she like ignore you in statistics or something?



  • @Snooder said:

    Wow, you have a real hate-boner for marissa mayer. Did she like ignore you in statistics or something?

    Yes.

    Oh, and I don't hate her, I just think she's really silly and easy to poke fun at.



  • +1 for Hate Bonerz


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