Even Yahoo doesn't like Yahoo mail



  • According to a leaked memo, top Yahoo executives are begging Yahoo employees to stop using Outlook and start using Yahoo Mail. The memo, signed by the CIO and Senior VP of Communication Products is full of WTF metaphors and apparent attempts at humour that make me wonder what they were sniffing when they wrote it.@Wacky Yahoo Execs said:

    For some reading this email, you are saying, “Jeff, shut up, you had
    me at hello.”

    For others, you might now be running in your head to a well worn path of justified resistance, phoning up the ol’ gang, circling the hippocampian wagons of amygdalian resistance. Hold on a sec, pilgrim.

    But wait there’s more. By using corporate Mail, you’ll automatically get to dogfood our new features first. I’m especially excited about a new feature premiering in just a few more days: smart auto-suggest, powered by a platform from the still-have-that-new-acquisition-smell Xobni team. We have been testing this feature with select users in and out of the company and the response has been fantastic: “Whoa!”, “Amazing”, “Already in love with it. Woot!” and, my favorite, “So nicely integrated that it appears as if it’s always been there. I already can’t imagine it not being there again.”

    Hasn't Yahoo been in the email biz for quite a few years? Isn't the fact that Yahoo emplyees even have Outlook in the first place an admission that Yahoo Mail isn't suitable for business use?



  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    Wait, the Yahoo! staff write front page articles for TDWTF?



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @Wacky Yahoo Execs said:
    For some reading this email, you are saying, “Jeff, shut up, you had
    me at hello.”

    You missed the best part of that paragraph!
    @TFA said:
    For some reading this email, you are saying, “Jeff, shut up, you had me at hello.” hug Jump over to yo/dogfood, click “Corp Mail/Cal/ Messenger” and you are ready to join our brave new world at yo/corpmail or https://mail.yahoo-inc.com.

    I find it funny that Yahoo saw Google's internal "go" domain and thought "we should have something like that" and then changed the g to a y.

    "Hey, can you yo to the document I sent you and read throuyh it?"



  • In other news, according to Google,Yahoo employees are apparently questioning CEO Marissa Mayer abiut the JFK assassination.

     



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @Wacky Yahoo Execs said:
    Hold on a sec, pilgrim.

    ... and happy Thanksgiving!



  • Not that I'm in for any M$ product, but I've been (forced to) using lately Outlook/Lync and it's quite good. You've great integration between calendars/emails/calls, it's very easy to setup, follow, cancel and coordinate meetings, and many other things corporate users find attractive. And no, Yahoo Mail, nor any other online service provides this.

    Another great thing about Outlook is that you don't get adds in a product you're paying for! Hear that Google? NO FUCKING ADDS!



  • @ubersoldat said:

    NO FUCKING ADDS!

    Don't worry, turn off the spam filter and you'll get all the ads for porn again.



  •  >GRAMMAR ENGINE ON...

     >.. BEGIN CONJUGATION

          TARGET=dogfood, verb, transitive

           OUTPUT: Present tense

              I dogfood [theobject]

              Thou dogfoodest it [theobject]

              He, she, it dogfoods [theobject]

             We dogfood [theobject]

             You  dogfood [theobject]

             They dogfood [theobject]

         OUTPUT: Imperfect tense

            I dogfooded [theobject]

           ......

    > END CONJUGATION

    > GRAMMAR ENGINE RATES YOUR INPUT: Management gibberish

     



  • I think it's interesting that the company apparently can't control what email accounts their employees use for business. I've never considered such a thing for a business that isn't being run out of someone's garage or whatever. For a large enterprise like Yahoo...amazing.



  • @boomzilla said:

    I think it's interesting that the company apparently can't control what email accounts their employees use for business
    That is pretty weird. @boomzilla said:
    I've never considered such a thing for a business that isn't being run out of someone's garage or whatever. For a large enterprise like Yahoo...amazing.
    Admittedly, Yahoo does have a bit of a problem. On one hand they are in the email business so it looks bad if their own employees don't use it. On the other hand, a "@yahoo.com" email address is probably regarded about as well as Hotmail or AOL.

    Yahoo should install Lotus Notes on all their computers. That would get everyone to switch to Yahoo Mail pretty quickly.



  • @boomzilla said:

    I think it's interesting that the company apparently can't control what email accounts their employees use for business. I've never considered such a thing for a business that isn't being run out of someone's garage or whatever. For a large enterprise like Yahoo...amazing.


    You do realize that you can check your yahoo email WITH outlook, right? The issue isn't about email accounts, it's about the software that employees use to check that email. Specifically, whether they load up outlook as they've been doing for over a decade now or use a brand new (apparently web-based) mail product that yahoo is developing. Nothing particularly crazy there, although I'm surprised that yahoo is trying to develop a corporate email product. Last I heard their current strategy was to position themselves more as a media empire, which would require a greater focus on consumer and home users.

     

    Also, I can't be the only person who thought the email was pretty normal, right? I mean it's a little too "aww shucks folks" for a corporate email, but that's a fashionable managerial style these days so it's to be expected.



  • So, Yet! Another! Weak! CEO!?

    Here's how a memo like that should read:

    "As of midnight tonight all traces of Outlook will be purged from machines connected to our corporate network as part of our new group policy rollout. Also, access to gmail will be blocked at the network layer. For those that insist upon using an email client other than the one we have developed, HR has a box ready for your effects."



  • @clively said:

    So, Yet! Another! Weak! CEO!?

    Here's how a memo like that should read:

    "As of midnight tonight all traces of Outlook will be purged from machines connected to our corporate network as part of our new group policy rollout. Also, access to gmail will be blocked at the network layer. For those that insist upon using an email client other than the one we have developed, HR has a box ready for your effects."

    EVERY EMPLOYEE LEAVES YAHOO



  • @Ben L. said:

    EVERY EMPLOYEE LEAVES YAHOO

    You mean the clown CEO is ousted.



  • EVERY EMPLOYEE LEAVES YAHOO

    No, because HP ain't hiring. They really missed the boat on getting bought by MS.



  • @notchulance said:

    EVERY EMPLOYEE LEAVES YAHOO

    No, because HP ain't hiring. They really missed the boat on getting bought by MS.

    ... and there is already a lot of ex-Blackberry employees on the market. By the way it's a good time for people who want to get into Canadian real estate. I heard there are quite a few nice houses available from motivated sellers in the Waterloon (Ontario) area.


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