YouTube: proof that monopolies are awful



  • YouTube added integration with Google+ recently, it was full of WTFs but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Instead I want to talk about YouTube Analytics.

    I dove into the Robots in the News analytics today to see how the videos are doing, and found out YouTube has a nice new feature: now you can "group" your videos and view aggregated numbers for an entire group. That's actually pretty helpful! I already have playlists set up, so surely they automatically made a group out of my playli--

    Oh.

    Well, no problem-- surely they made it trivial to set up a new group based on a playlist! Let's just--

    Natch. (Believe me, there are no playlists listed there, nor any way I can find to turn a playlist into an analytics group.)

    Well, let's do another task. YouTube gives you this message now in the inbox saying that comment notifications will no longer go to the YouTube inbox but will instead go to Google+. Ok so I visit Google+ and ... there's nowhere to view them. No link, nothing that looks like "YouTube comments" (or even: "comments") on the navigation. Hm. Well at least using YouTube Analytics, I can see *how many* comments there are on my videos.

    It looks like the last few videos have gotten one comment each. Usually nobody watches my channel, so one comment per video for several videos in a row is pretty good. So what are the comments? ... oh it's the comments that Google+ automatically posts each time a new video goes up. WHY DO THESE COUNT IN ANALYTICS?! You don't have to work in web analytics to know that if *anything* should be blacklisted from the report, it's those. Sheesh.

    The shittiness of YouTube consistently surprises me.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Usually nobody watches my channel, so one comment per video for several videos in a row is pretty good.

    If you want to bring more viewers you don't need to work on the content, you just have to hire a chick or two.

    Proven business models:

    1. A Jersey Shore style blonde
    2. A cute blonde and a decent looking brunette with big tits

    If you think this is a joke, look it up. Girl in #1 has more subscribers than Rihanna or Justin Bieber, and yet from what I've seen she has no content whatsoever.



  • @Ronald said:

    If you think this is a joke, look it up. Girl in #1 has more subscribers than Rihanna or Justin Bieber, and yet from what I've seen she has no content whatsoever.
    Exactly.  This video has 97,106 views and I guaranrtee that 97,105 have been by people who have no idea what she is talking about.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @Ronald said:

    If you think this is a joke, look it up. Girl in #1 has more subscribers than Rihanna or Justin Bieber, and yet from what I've seen she has no content whatsoever.
    Exactly.  This video has 97,106 views and I guaranrtee that 97,105 have been by people who have no idea what she is talking about.

    I was looking at the comments and I have to agree with the guy that suggested that her proportions appear not to be the same during the car scene.



  •  Why did you steal mikeTheLiar's avatar?



  • @Lorne Kates said:

     Why did you steal mikeTheLiar's avatar?

    Keep this up and the forum will continue to evolve towards discussions where people post stuff like this:

    @Ben L. said:

    True, but A ∩ R ≠ Ø


    You have been warned.


  • @Ronald said:

    I was looking at the comments
    So you're one of those guys, eh.



  • Since they crammed G+ into Youtube I can't even type a comment anymore. The textbox (which appears to be not a standard textbox, because those are boring, but some kind of JS thing) displays a cursor but nothing happens when I type in it. Good job there Google.



  • @lolwtf said:

    Since they crammed G+ into Youtube I can't even type a comment anymore. The textbox (which appears to be not a standard textbox, because those are boring, but some kind of JS thing) displays a cursor but nothing happens when I type in it. Good job there Google.
    I've never felt the need to comment on a Youtube video, but I decided to give it a try. There's no cursor, so maybe I have to click in the textbox first. When I do that, this window opens:

    And then closes after about a second.

    Good job indeed..



  • One more view counting me. If we keep posting links to videos like this WTF will be the most popular non-porn site on the planet!

    I live in Thailand. It is amazing how Thai men think that big white boobs are fantastic. Ugly face, ninety years old, and cripled with arthritis, it doesn't matter: big boobs equals beautiful. Thais would love this video. I wonder how many of those 97,107 views are from here.



  • @AndyCanfield said:

    One more view counting me. If we keep posting links to videos like this WTF will be the most popular non-porn site on the planet!

    I live in Thailand. It is amazing how Thai men think that big white boobs are fantastic. Ugly face, ninety years old, and cripled with arthritis, it doesn't matter: big boobs equals beautiful. Thais would love this video. I wonder how many of those 97,107 views are from here.

    While the US (and apparently Thailand) think that big boobs are best it is not culturally universal. Years ago I found out that Brazil prefers small boobs and big butts. This is reflected in the choice of models in their local edition of Playboy. The photo spreads of the local models were typically shot from behind with the model looking over her shoulder. In contrast the photo spreads that were obviously from the US showed huge breasted women from the front.



  • @lolwtf said:

    Since they crammed G+ into Youtube
    My girlfriend was just asked whether she wanted to create a G+ profile while signing into Gmail.

    Be afraid. It's spreading.



  • @Zecc said:

    My girlfriend was just asked whether she wanted to create a G+ profile while signing into Gmail.

    That's homophobic. You should say "casual acquaintance", "friend with benefits" or "life partner" depending on your level of commitment so gay people reading this forum don't feel ostracized by your gender-biased vision of relationships.

    Unless you talk about her only as a way to increase your social status in this community, in which case you are either making insulting assumptions about an alleged lack of social skills in the IT industry, or you are ignoring the fact that some people may not value intimate relationships.

    How rude.



  • @Ronald said:

    @Zecc said:

    My girlfriend was just asked whether she wanted to create a G+ profile while signing into Gmail.

    That's homophobic. You should say "casual acquaintance", "friend with benefits" or "life partner" depending on your level of commitment so gay people reading this forum don't feel ostracized by your gender-biased vision of relationships.

    Unless you talk about her only as a way to increase your social status in this community, in which case you are either making insulting assumptions about an alleged lack of social skills in the IT industry, or you are ignoring the fact that some people may not value intimate relationships.

    How rude.

    I just hope his wife isn't reading the forum.



  • @boomzilla said:

    @Ronald said:
    @Zecc said:

    My girlfriend was just asked whether she wanted to create a G+ profile while signing into Gmail.

    That's homophobic. You should say "casual acquaintance", "friend with benefits" or "life partner" depending on your level of commitment so gay people reading this forum don't feel ostracized by your gender-biased vision of relationships.

    Unless you talk about her only as a way to increase your social status in this community, in which case you are either making insulting assumptions about an alleged lack of social skills in the IT industry, or you are ignoring the fact that some people may not value intimate relationships.

    How rude.

    I just hope his wife isn't reading the forum.

    Which implies that you support the ideology of monogamy, a pretty intolerant bias shared only by 10% of modern societies around the world.

    With so many racists, sexists and intolerant people in the community, I wonder if this site should start handing out swastika armlets instead of coffee mugs.



  • @Ronald said:

    [infuriatingly boring shit]

    Can we just ban this guy already?



  • @Ronald said:

    That's homophobic. You should say "casual acquaintance", "friend with benefits" or "life partner" depending on your level of commitment so gay people reading this forum don't feel ostracized by your gender-biased vision of relationships.
    How do you know Zecc isn't a girl?



  • @Ronald said:

    With so many racists, sexists and intolerant people in the community, I wonder if this site should start handing out swastika armlets instead of coffee mugs.



  • @ender said:

    @Ronald said:
    That's homophobic. You should say "casual acquaintance", "friend with benefits" or "life partner" depending on your level of commitment so gay people reading this forum don't feel ostracized by your gender-biased vision of relationships.
    How do you know Zecc isn't a girl?

    So according to you the gender of the person must be considered before evaluating their comments? That's sexist.



  • @Ronald said:

    @Zecc said:

    My girlfriend was just asked whether she wanted to create a G+ profile while signing into Gmail.

    That's homophobic. You should say "casual acquaintance", "friend with benefits" or "life partner" depending on your level of commitment so gay people reading this forum don't feel ostracized by your gender-biased vision of relationships.

    That's homophobic. You're assuming I'm male.


    Now, what's the term that designates this situation where I'm assuming you're trolling? "Realism"?

     



  • @Ronald said:

    With so many racists, sexists and intolerant people in the community,
    That's discrimination against people with different oppinions.

    It's also a generalization over the individuals who frequent these forums.



  • You know, I feel like I owe blakeyrat an apology. Blakey's giving these forums another chance and here we are polluting them with the same type of pointless bullshit again.

    So blakeyrat, for what it's worth I'm sorry. I appreciate your rants and I hope you don't feel unwelcomed.



  • @Ronald said:

    baderp
     

    Instead of taking your boredom out on the forums,  I suggest you go find some porn and masturbate furiously, or play an RPG, or do some laundry.



  • @Zecc said:

    You know, I feel like I owe blakeyrat an apology. Blakey's giving these forums another chance and here we are polluting them with the same type of pointless bullshit again.

    So blakeyrat, for what it's worth I'm sorry. I appreciate your rants and I hope you don't feel unwelcomed.

     

    You're derailing his thread. If you wanted to apologize to Blakey, start your own fucking thread!

    You're the second worse, Zecc. (mikeTheLiar, as has been established, is the worst).

    Also: Find me one non-spam thread on this board with more than 5 posts that is still on topic by the end of the thread.

     



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    Also: Find me one non-spam thread on this board with more than 5 posts that is still on topic by the end of the thread.

    I'll probably get dickweeded that they're on General Discussion and Funny Stuff, but:

    THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
    I made a gif appropriate for all occasions!!!

    One of those is even a blakeyrat thread. But, yeah, there's only so much you can say about something like Google mucking up another UI, and if we stayed ruthlessly on topic, there'd either be very little activity or people would start complaining about how the same thing gets said over and over. Now, where is that darned Grumpy Cat....



  • @boomzilla said:

    I'll probably get dickweeded that they're on General Discussion and Funny Stuff, but:
     

    My fault for not being dickweedy enough with my request.



  • @boomzilla said:

    But, yeah, there's only so much you can say about something like Google mucking up another UI, and if we stayed ruthlessly on topic, there'd either be very little activity or people would start complaining about how the same thing gets said over and over.

    The forum suffers from the dictatorship of boring people (those who post lots and lots of meaningless screenshots) and boring sentinels (those who make no contribution except complaining about other people being trolls or off-topic); there is no need to name them we all know who they are. That's what happens when people with interesting content (like snoofle) or alpha members (like Morbius or Blakey) leave or stay quiet. More and more it feels like "Smokey and the Bandit #3" where Burt Reynolds is gone and it's the van driver that is the star. There is a void and the people who try to fill it are not lead character material.

    This reminds me about a tv show I used to watch, it was a weekly thing about movies. The show was hosted by some dude who was a bit too dynamic and flamboyant and was not very knowledgeable about movies, but his sidekick was a real expert about movies. Often I would ask myself, why don't they fire the moron and let the movie expert lead the show? That's what they did the following year, and after two weeks I stopped watching because while technically accurate it was mind-blowingly boring.



  • @Ronald said:

    boring people (those who post lots and lots of meaningless screenshots)
     

    The irony.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @Ronald said:

    boring people (those who post lots and lots of meaningless screenshots)
     

    The irony.

    I wonder, which is it:

    1. you don't know what irony means
    2. you can't tell what is a screenshot
    3. you are terrible at keeping track of who posts what.


    ^ this is not a screenshot ^



  • @Ronald said:

    those who post lots and lots of meaningless screenshots
    The screenshots are usually OK. Good graphics can greatly enhance a story. Unfortunately people sometimes mistake this for the Mind Readers Forum and don't bother with an explanation of what we're supposed to be looking at.@Ronald said:
    Often I would ask myself, why don't they fire the moron and let the movie expert lead the show? That's what they did the following year, and after two weeks I stopped watching because while technically accurate it was mind-blowingly boring.
    And yet that is exactly what you are proposing. A forum of nothing but snoofle. No offense to snoofle, his contributions are excellent, but a forum of nothing but that would be pretty boring.@Ronald said:
    those who make no contribution except complaining about other people being trolls or off-topic
    And one of the people who you cite as "alpha" threw a hissy fit and quit posting for more than 2 months because somebody posted something off-topic in a thread he started.

    • Some people have interesting things to say
    • Some people have interesting comments to make about the interesting things that people say
    • Some of those people also have a sense of humor and like to make humous and/or off-topic comments
    • Some people, regardless of how smart or knowledgable they may be, aren't really interested in getting into serious discussions on the Internet so they prefer keep it humourous/non-serious
    • Some people just want to say stupid shit
    • Admit it, sometimes saying stupid shit is fun
    • All of this existed long before the Internet did, get oiver it

    @Ronald said:

     



  • You guys don't even know/remember why I left, do you?

    It wasn't people posting off-topic responses to a WTF, it was people posting entirely new WTFs in my WTF. Ones they'd been sitting on for God-knows-how-long. Ones they had prepared with screenshots and narrative and everything. And that didn't happen to me once, or twice, but three times before I threw in the towel.

    If would be like if you read a New York Times article about the rate of criminal assaults going down, and then the first comment was an entire other New York Times article ranking amusement parks. Once something like that has happened, there's no point in sticking around for the thread-- half of it will be people talking about criminal assaults, the other half will be people talking about amusement parks, and both groups will be pissed at the other.

    I didn't, and still do not, have any idea what would possess someone to ruin threads like that. I used to think it was just because they didn't want to take the heaps of abuse you got on this forum for having the audacity of posting WTFs (because you are all terrible). Now I'm not sure.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    You guys don't even know/remember why I left, do you?

    WTF explaination...

     

    Shouldn't this entirely new WTF be a new thread?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    It wasn't people posting off-topic responses to a WTF, it was people posting entirely new WTFs in my WTF. Ones they'd been sitting on for God-knows-how-long. Ones they had prepared with screenshots and narrative and everything. And that didn't happen to me once, or twice, but three times before I threw in the towel.
    Take a deep breath there Cowboy and remember:
    You can't control what people say or do,
    You can only control how you react to it.



  • @OzPeter said:

    Take a deep breath there Cowboy and remember:
    You can't control what people say or do,
    You can only control how you react to it.

    Right. I did that by leaving. And I think I'll leave again, because this thread has made it obvious that here's nothing here for me now. It's not even funny anymore.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    A forum of nothing but snoofle. No offense to snoofle, his contributions are excellent, but a forum of nothing but that would be pretty boring.

    This is a misunderstanding. What I'm saying is that a thread needs a little bit of content so people can go in all kinds of directions with littles pieces of that content. When the initial content is weak (like non-labeled screenshots of some vague university project or yet another Firefox sucks rant) there are no "on-topic" comments anymore, it's just a chat room.

    As for the drama, it's always entertaining, we need more of it, not less.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    If would be like if you read a New York Times article about the rate of criminal assaults going down, and then the first comment was an entire other New York Times article ranking amusement parks.

    It would be more like if you read a New York Times article about the rate of criminal assaults going down, and then the first comment was a tangentially related story about someone who got assaulted once. Which happens all the time on pretty much every internet site.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    It wasn't people posting off-topic responses to a WTF, it was people posting entirely new WTFs in my WTF. Ones they'd been sitting on for God-knows-how-long. Ones they had prepared with screenshots and narrative and everything. And that didn't happen to me once, or twice, but three times before I threw in the towel.

    So I might have been the proverbial straw, but there's a few things that I would like to point out:

    • My post wasn't Worse Than Failure, it really was only Failure, and from a piece of beta software at that, so I give them a pass. I found it mildly amusing, but definitely not worthy of the its own thread
    • As noted, I had to agree to an NDA that I didn't really read, so that's another reason that I was disinclined to post. Not that posting a screencap of the email violated said NDA (I actually have no idea), but still.
    • A screencap does not indicate pre-meditation. It took me about 30 seconds to take the cap and upload it imgur.
    • I hardly think that post contains anything that even possibly be construed as "narrative".
    • When I got the email, I thought "Hmm. The guys over at TDWTF would probably enjoy this, but there's really not enough here for a full thread. Besides, I did click that button basically saying that I wouldn't tell anybody about this. I'll wait for something better." Then you post a screwy email, and I think "Hey, here's a place where that screwy email I got is relevant! Maybe other people can appreciate it now instead of just me!"

    In conclusion: please don't leave. I'm pregnant, you're the father, and I have so much love for you.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    It wasn't people posting off-topic responses to a WTF, it was people posting entirely new WTFs in my WTF.
    Huh, what?

    Posting a new (i.e., unrelated) WTF in a thread is the very definiton of off-topic.



  • @mikeTheLiar said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    It wasn't people posting off-topic responses to a WTF, it was people posting entirely new WTFs in my WTF. Ones they'd been sitting on for God-knows-how-long. Ones they had prepared with screenshots and narrative and everything. And that didn't happen to me once, or twice, but three times before I threw in the towel.

    So I might have been the proverbial straw, but there's a few things that I would like to point out:

    • My post wasn't Worse Than Failure, it really was only Failure, and from a piece of beta software at that, so I give them a pass. I found it mildly amusing, but definitely not worthy of the its own thread
    • As noted, I had to agree to an NDA that I didn't really read, so that's another reason that I was disinclined to post. Not that posting a screencap of the email violated said NDA (I actually have no idea), but still.
    • A screencap does not indicate pre-meditation. It took me about 30 seconds to take the cap and upload it imgur.
    • I hardly think that post contains anything that even possibly be construed as "narrative".
    • When I got the email, I thought "Hmm. The guys over at TDWTF would probably enjoy this, but there's really not enough here for a full thread. Besides, I did click that button basically saying that I wouldn't tell anybody about this. I'll wait for something better." Then you post a screwy email, and I think "Hey, here's a place where that screwy email I got is relevant! Maybe other people can appreciate it now instead of just me!"

    In conclusion: please don't leave. I'm pregnant, you're the father, and I have so much love for you.

    You have nothing to apologize for. Not even a fake sarcastic apology. Contrary to what blakeyrat claims, nobody is sitting around with a bunch of screenshots and long detailed story all written out, just waiting to drop it into a random thread.

     



  • @El_Heffe said:

    nobody is sitting around with a bunch of screenshots and long detailed story all written out, just waiting to drop it into a random thread.
     

    At least, they weren't...



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Right. I did that by leaving. And I think I'll leave again
    You mean like the last time you "left"? 

    Pro tip: Your profile, which is viewable by everyone, shows the last time you visited the site. It was trivial to see that you visited here almost every day. Your lurking was even mentioned in a couple of threads. But you already know that because you were here every day.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    Right. I did that by leaving. And I think I'll leave again
    You mean like the last time you "left"? 

    Pro tip: Your profile, which is viewable by everyone, shows the last time you visited the site. It was trivial to see that you visited here almost every day. Your lurking was even mentioned in a couple of threads. But you already know that because you were here every day.

    What happened to you to make you so bitter and unforgiving? I remember a while ago you were a clever and cheerful person. Who took that positive energy from you and how did they achieve it? Divorce and custody battle? Prison rape? Flaming bag of dog poo on your doorstep?



  • @Ronald said:

    @Lorne Kates said:
    The irony.

    I wonder, which is it:

    1. you don't know what irony means
    The number pf people who don't know what irony means is only exceeded by the number of people who tell others that they don't know what irony means.

     



  • OMG youtube is dead you people killed it with your hatred!



  • @Ronald said:

    @El_Heffe said:
    @blakeyrat said:
    Right. I did that by leaving. And I think I'll leave again
    You mean like the last time you "left"? 

    Pro tip: Your profile, which is viewable by everyone, shows the last time you visited the site. It was trivial to see that you visited here almost every day. Your lurking was even mentioned in a couple of threads. But you already know that because you were here every day.

    What happened to you to make you so bitter and unforgiving? I remember a while ago you were a clever and cheerful person. Who took that positive energy from you and how did they achieve it? Divorce and custody battle? Prison rape? Flaming bag of dog poo on your doorstep?

    Since when does pointing out that someone is full of shit make you "bitter and unforgiving"?  Especially in a forum such as this one?

    I guess it's just a pet peeve of mine. Long ago, in ancient times, there was this BBS that I frequented. One day I got mad about something and announced that I was fed up and I was leaving. I may have even used the phrase "worst of the worst" but it was a long time ago, so I'm not sure. Shortly after that it occured to me -- who the fuck do I think I am? Am I really so conceited that I think anyone on some stupid message board actually gives two shits about me?

    And so I've adopted a philosophy. Go or stay. Do whatever you want, but don't be a drama queen. Post all you want. Troll all you want. Argue all you want. Tell people to fuck off and die. Engage in whatever pedantic dickweedery makes you happy. It's all good fun. But don't announce that you're "fed up and leaving" because (a) nobody cares, (b) seriously, NOBODY CARES, (c) you're just acting like a childish dickhead and (d) did I mention that nobody cares?

    And now back to our cheerful content.  Here's a kitten and a duck


     Oh, and I agree with blakeyrat that Youtube sucks, although "Youtube Analytics" seems like one of those weird phrases that you don't expect to hear.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    I agree with blakeyrat

    This statement will haunt you for a long time.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    Right. I did that by leaving. And I think I'll leave again
    You mean like the last time you "left"? 

    The great thing about blakeytantrums is that they're applicable in all situations:

    • Discussing the WTF and thinking about ways to fix or work around it? BLAKEYTANTRUM: "I DIDN'T ASK FOR HELP YOU FUCKTARDS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SITE?"
    • Go off topic and talk about something interesting? BLAKEYTANTRUM: "WHY ARE YOU ASPIES TALKING ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT AND NOT DEVELOPING GOOD SOFTWARE?"
    • Post a tangential WTF that's actually more interesting than the OP? BLAKEYTANTRUM: "WORST OF THE WORST! I QUIT!"


  • @boomzilla said:

    The great thing about blakeytantrums is that they're applicable in all situations

    Here is a situation:

    You are alone at home on a cold and rainy day. You are watching The Goonies on your 65'' plasma tv bought at the latest Winter Blowout at Best Buy and suddenly the power goes out. As you calmly walk towards the closet where your flashlight is stored you hear the subtle yet unmistakable creaking sound of the attic hatch being opened from within. A cold shiver goes down your spine, maybe from a cold draft, maybe from the shear terror of being caught in your wife's underwear by an ancient evil spirit suddenly freed from an enchanted mirror stored in the attic.

    Please explain how a blakeytantrum is applicable in that situation, or withdraw your hypothesis.



  • @boomzilla said:

    Post a tangential WTF that's actually more interesting than the OP? BLAKEYTANTRUM: "WORST OF THE WORST! I QUIT!"

    My hypothesis is that the root cause of his meltdown was jealousy - I got into the ESO closed beta and he didn't, despite the fact that he probably applied (he was the only one to figure out the TES reference in my user name, or at least the only one to point it out). His brain's switch-case wasn't properly equipped to deal with that ("You mean that piece of shit got in before me? Preposterous!") and simply had to fall back to [code]default:[/code] a massive over-reaction, coupled with screaming and name calling.



  • @Ronald said:

    @boomzilla said:

    The great thing about blakeytantrums is that they're applicable in all situations

    Here is a situation:

    You are alone at home on a cold and rainy day. You are watching The Goonies on your 65'' plasma tv bought at the latest Winter Blowout at Best Buy and suddenly the power goes out. As you calmly walk towards the closet where your flashlight is stored you hear the subtle yet unmistakable creaking sound of the attic hatch being opened from within. A cold shiver goes down your spine, maybe from a cold draft, maybe from the shear terror of being caught in your wife's underwear by an ancient evil spirit suddenly freed from an enchanted mirror stored in the attic.

    Please explain how a blakeytantrum is applicable in that situation, or withdraw your hypothesis.

    A gravelly yet feminine voice breaks the silence: "Are you a god?"

    "WHAT THE FUCK SORT OF STUPID QUESTION IS THAT?!?! OF COURSE I'M A FUCKING GOD. NOW GET THE FUCK BACK IN YOUR MIRROR, BITCH! GODDAM. THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE IS THE WORST, YOU ARE ALL THE WORST, AND YOU, ZUUL, YOU'RE THE WORST OF THE WORST."


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.