"Number one" observation



  • Since, on another thread, we're talking about bathroom issues, I thought I'd share an observation. I'm working currently at [a large manufacturing company] that has been in the same location for perhaps 100 years; the building I'm in is at least 60 years old. There is a mens bathroom here where the floor is original, and there are three urinals in it. The floor is so old that the tile is worn where people have been standing.

    The observation, based on the wear of the tile is:

    The left urinal is used about 85% of the time.

    The right urinal is used about 10% of the time.

    The center one is essentially unused.



    Based on this, I'd say:

    If you're the only guy, you go to the left one

    If there are two of you, he picks the left one and you pick the right one

    If there are three of you, you use a stall rather than a urinal.



  • Standard bro-protocol.

    Nothing new to see here folks, move along.



  • @zelmak said:

    Standard bro-protocol.

    Don't you mean "brotocol"?



  • Derp. Everybody played The Urinal Game back in 2000 when it was new.



  • @DrPepper said:

    I'm working currently at [a large manufacturing company] that has been in the same location for perhaps 100 years; the building I'm in is at least 60 years old.
    I work in a similar facility, and a few months ago I used the bathrom in this one particular building which I believe was built in the early 1920s.  Although I have been in that building many times I had never used the bathroom before.  I noticed that one of the stalls had been updated as a "handicapped" stall -- it was wider than than the other stalls and had the metal grab-bars on the wall by the toilet. OK. Seems reasonable. There's probably some law that requires that.  But there's just one problem.  The bathrom is on the second floor and there's no way to get to the second floor except one very long stairway.  And there's a bathroom on the first floor that is newer but has no "handicapped" stall.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    My cousin used to live in a gated apartment community. There was a 4-digit shared numeric passcode needed to open the gate. The 1 and the 5 were heavily worn, and the other numbers looked brand new, making it rather trivial to figure out the passcode was 1515.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    My cousin used to live in a gated apartment community. There was a 4-digit shared numeric passcode needed to open the gate. The 1 and the 5 were heavily worn, and the other numbers looked brand new, making it rather trivial to figure out the passcode was 1515.



    "Gated apartment community" lol. Just call it an apartment. You only get to be called a "gated community" if you have a guard at the gates.

     



  •  I remember hearing of a men's room with three urinals, arranged such that there were "modesty panels" mounted on the wall between some of them but not others.  The first urinal had a panel on each side, the second had one only on one side, and the third had no panels at all.

    Someone thought it was clever to mount a sign above each urinal, so the first was labelled Conservative, the second Moderate and the third Liberal.

    A few weeks after the signs went up, someone took a Sharpie into the room and scrawled on a nearby blank wall: Radical.



  • @Snooder said:

    @joe.edwards said:

    My cousin used to live in a gated apartment community. There was a 4-digit shared numeric passcode needed to open the gate. The 1 and the 5 were heavily worn, and the other numbers looked brand new, making it rather trivial to figure out the passcode was 1515.



    "Gated apartment community" lol. Just call it an apartment. You only get to be called a "gated community" if you have a guard at the gates.

     

    If there is a gate to enter an area where there is a few buildings and a shared services shed (mailboxes, etc) then it's a gated community. If it's a single building with a buzzer at the entrance it's not.



    By the way the most luxurious gated communities I've seen have no guard at the gate. Visible guards are more common in low-end communities.



  • @DrPepper said:

    There is a mens bathroom here where the floor is original, and there are three urinals in it. The floor is so old that the tile is worn where people have been standing.

    If I had to bet I'd say that a large part of the male workforce in your company is overweight. Because what you describe is not a floor worn by people standing. It looks like people missing the target when they piss, and janitorial services using a stronger solvent mix in their spay-buff to get rid of the stickier urine of people having a higher level of blood sugar than expected by the vendor (i.e: fat people). I believe that this problem could be solved instead by lowering the solvent concentration and switching the polymer to something that is an ether-based superplasticizer as the sugar in the sticky piss will offer less resistance after being exposed to a surfactant; but it is unlikely to happen as the janitorial service probably has no incentive to avoid long term wear on the floor material.

    If my hypothesis is right, you probably see the janitors using a scouring agent on the wax every year or two. That's another dead giveaway that there is too much solvent in the spray-buff mix.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Ronald said:

    @DrPepper said:
    There is a mens bathroom here where the floor is original, and there are three urinals in it. The floor is so old that the tile is worn where people have been standing.

    If I had to bet I'd say that a large part of the male workforce in your company is overweight. Because what you describe is not a floor worn by people standing. It looks like people missing the target when they piss, and janitorial services using a stronger solvent mix in their spay-buff to get rid of the stickier urine of people having a higher level of blood sugar than expected by the vendor (i.e: fat people). I believe that this problem could be solved instead by lowering the solvent concentration and switching the polymer to something that is an ether-based superplasticizer as the sugar in the sticky piss will offer less resistance after being exposed to a surfactant; but it is unlikely to happen as the janitorial service probably has no incentive to avoid long term wear on the floor material.

    If my hypothesis is right, you probably see the janitors using a scouring agent on the wax every year or two. That's another dead giveaway that there is too much solvent in the spray-buff mix.

    Thanks for visiting The Daily What the Janitor. You're obviously an old hand at scrubbing away piss stains.


  • @joe.edwards said:

    @Ronald said:
    @DrPepper said:
    There is a mens bathroom here where the floor is original, and there are three urinals in it. The floor is so old that the tile is worn where people have been standing.

    If I had to bet I'd say that a large part of the male workforce in your company is overweight. Because what you describe is not a floor worn by people standing. It looks like people missing the target when they piss, and janitorial services using a stronger solvent mix in their spay-buff to get rid of the stickier urine of people having a higher level of blood sugar than expected by the vendor (i.e: fat people). I believe that this problem could be solved instead by lowering the solvent concentration and switching the polymer to something that is an ether-based superplasticizer as the sugar in the sticky piss will offer less resistance after being exposed to a surfactant; but it is unlikely to happen as the janitorial service probably has no incentive to avoid long term wear on the floor material.

    If my hypothesis is right, you probably see the janitors using a scouring agent on the wax every year or two. That's another dead giveaway that there is too much solvent in the spray-buff mix.

    Thanks for visiting The Daily What the Janitor. You're obviously an old hand at scrubbing away piss stains.

    I guess I did hit a nerve with the part about fat guys having sticky piss. Do you frequently get tested for diabetes? Having too much sugar in your blood is a very bad thing, it will slowly destroy the tiny blood vessels in your eyes and by the time you start to notice the first signs of blindness it will be too late. And what about the damage to your heart. Very bad stuff.

    As for me being "an old hand at scrubbing away piss stains": I do have an expert level knowledge for these matters. A few years ago I was in charge of the IT group in a big factory and my team experienced multiple issues with the building maintenance people (flipping circuits, throwing away spare parts, erasing whiteboards, etc). So after one too many incident, with the blind ambition of youth I went to the CFO and convinced him to bring the building maintenance team under my benevolent supervision. I spent a lot of time over the next year learning all about building maintenance and I learned to respect janitors (which you clearly don't).

    It was a rewarding experience; I learned how to build a master key, how to shortcut a closed-circuit alarm system without triggering it, how to extinguish a chemical fire, and even how to cook the perfect explosive mixture to get rid of tree stumps without breaking the windows nearby. Plus I got the basics of three languages (Russian, Farsi and Spanish). I also became friend with the staff and became a partner in a janitorial services provider business with some of them; this investment in time and money is how I paid for a summer cottage that makes Camp David look like a toolshed.



  • @Ronald said:

    As for me being "an old hand at scrubbing away piss stains": I do have an expert level knowledge for these matters. A few years ago I was in charge of the IT group in a big factory and my team experienced multiple issues with the building maintenance people (flipping circuits, throwing away spare parts, erasing whiteboards, etc). So after one too many incident, with the blind ambition of youth I went to the CFO and convinced him to bring the building maintenance team under my benevolent supervision. I spent a lot of time over the next year learning all about building maintenance and I learned to respect janitors (which you clearly don't).

    It was a rewarding experience; I learned how to build a master key, how to shortcut a closed-circuit alarm system without triggering it, how to extinguish a chemical fire, and even how to cook the perfect explosive mixture to get rid of tree stumps without breaking the windows nearby. Plus I got the basics of three languages (Russian, Farsi and Spanish). I also became friend with the staff and became a partner in a janitorial services provider business with some of them; this investment in time and money is how I paid for a summer cottage that makes Camp David look like a toolshed.

    Goddammit, what the fuck is happening to this forum? First we had that fast food worker who kept making analogies to bathroom soap and now this.



  • @Ronald said:

    piss

    Actually, this does give me an idea for a new TDWTF offering:

    Ask Doctor Janitor!

    Dear Doctor Janitor,

    The last week or so, I have noticed a strong, onion-y smell when I urinate.

    I'm not sure if it's my urine, or possibly something stuck on the toilet bowl

    that is being stirred up by my stream of urine.

    However, from a visual inspection, the toilet bowl appears spotless. So

    perhaps it is from my urine? Any ideas what might be causing it?

    Sincerely,

    Onion-y in Omaha



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Ronald said:
    piss

    Actually, this does give me an idea for a new TDWTF offering:

    Ask Doctor Janitor!



    Dear Doctor Janitor,

    The last week or so, I have noticed a strong, onion-y smell when I urinate.

    I'm not sure if it's my urine, or possibly something stuck on the toilet bowl

    that is being stirred up by my stream of urine.

    However, from a visual inspection, the toilet bowl appears spotless. So

    perhaps it is from my urine? Any ideas what might be causing it?

    Sincerely,

    Micturating in 'Merica

    Dear Micturating in 'Merica,




    Based on the information you provided I would suggest a two-pronged approach:


    1. Ask your doctor to have you tested for bladder stones. Even before you can feel their presence those stones may give your urine a foul smell; depending on your eating habits it could be a smell of ammonia or as you describe it, onion-y.
    2. Do you by any chance live in an area where there is a problem with hard water? If that's the case, unless you are ready to invest in a water softener I would advise you to try this: once a month, instead of flushing when you urinate try to add 1/4 cup of bleach and 3 spoonful or Mr Clean in the toilet. Close the lid as some gas will come out of this mixture and let this rest for an hour or so. The onion-y smell will be gone for a few weeks but it will build up again because of the minerals in your water.




    Legal disclaimer: the opinions in Ask Doctor Janitor are provided for entertainment only and do not constitute a formal diagnosisc. Consult your physicist if you have more questions.




    Edit: as everyone can see, Morbius changed the name of Micturating in 'Merica without letting people know. How dishonest.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Ronald said:

    I guess I did hit a nerve with the part about fat guys having sticky piss. Do you frequently get tested for diabetes? Having too much sugar in your blood is a very bad thing, it will slowly destroy the tiny blood vessels in your eyes and by the time you start to notice the first signs of blindness it will be too late. And what about the damage to your heart. Very bad stuff.

    I guess you missed "no such thing as diets" thread where I said that I cut sugars and starches from my diet completely and lost all my excess weight. I'll agree, most Americans consume far too much sugar, and it does cause problems like obesity and diabetes.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    @Ronald said:
    I guess I did hit a nerve with the part about fat guys having sticky piss. Do you frequently get tested for diabetes? Having too much sugar in your blood is a very bad thing, it will slowly destroy the tiny blood vessels in your eyes and by the time you start to notice the first signs of blindness it will be too late. And what about the damage to your heart. Very bad stuff.

    I guess you missed "no such thing as diets" thread where I said that I cut sugars and starches from my diet completely and lost all my excess weight. I'll agree, most Americans consume far too much sugar, and it does cause problems like obesity and diabetes.

    I hate to be a party pooper but if you lost your excess weight past your early 30s, odds are that you are still headed to Armand's Exclusive Shop for Men. Blood vessel damage is irreversible.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @Ronald said:

    if you lost your excess weight past your early 30s

    I'm 29, and I've been in decent shape for the past few years.



  • @Ronald said:

    Edit: as everyone can see, Morbius changed the name of Micturating in 'Merica without letting people know. How dishonest.

    You lie!

    Okay, I did it, but "Onion-y in Omaha" just sounded better. How was I to know you'd hit the reply button so quickly? I edit my posts all the time to correct spelling or grammar mistakes.



  • @Ronald said:

    I hate to be a party pooper but if you lost your excess weight past your early 30s, odds are that you are still headed to Armand's Exclusive Shop for Men. Blood vessel damage is irreversible.

    You should really stop giving medical advice. Not at all fat people have high blood sugar, and being a healthy weight does not mean someone has normal blood sugar. While obese people are certainly more likely to have high blood sugar, that doesn't mean that all do.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    How was I to know you'd hit the reply button so quickly?

    There is a theory floating around that I'm actually a robot (and/or a script). If that was the case I would be written in a blazing-fast technology, such as C#, and based on the rules controlling my behavior it would be easy to reply quickly when the checksum of one of the threads I follow has changed.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Ronald said:
    I hate to be a party pooper but if you lost your excess weight past your early 30s, odds are that you are still headed to Armand's Exclusive Shop for Men. Blood vessel damage is irreversible.

    You should really stop giving medical advice. Not at all fat people have high blood sugar, and being a healthy weight does not mean someone has normal blood sugar. While obese people are certainly more likely to have high blood sugar, that doesn't mean that all do.

    For your convenience I MrMagooProofed my comment to put an emphasis on important keywords.



  • @Ronald said:

    For your convenience I MrMagooProofed my comment to put an emphasis on important keywords.

    Yeah, but you made several other comments about fat guys have high-sugar wee wee, which isn't always the case. Anyway, I don't care that much.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    you made several other comments about fat guys have high-sugar wee wee, which isn't always the case. Anyway, I don't care that much.

    Maybe, but Michelle and I, we care!





  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Ronald said:
    For your convenience I MrMagooProofed my comment to put an emphasis on important keywords.
    Yeah, but you made several other comments about fat guys have high-sugar wee wee, which isn't always the case.

    And not all diabetics are overweight.  Some of us are type 1 instead of type 2.



  • @locallunatic said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @Ronald said:
    For your convenience I MrMagooProofed my comment to put an emphasis on important keywords.
    Yeah, but you made several other comments about fat guys have high-sugar wee wee, which isn't always the case.

    And not all diabetics are overweight.  Some of us are type 1 instead of type 2.

    You guys would be so much happier in a boolean world.



  • @Ronald said:

    @Snooder said:

    @joe.edwards said:

    My cousin used to live in a gated apartment community. There was a 4-digit shared numeric passcode needed to open the gate. The 1 and the 5 were heavily worn, and the other numbers looked brand new, making it rather trivial to figure out the passcode was 1515.



    "Gated apartment community" lol. Just call it an apartment. You only get to be called a "gated community" if you have a guard at the gates.

    If there is a gate to enter an area where there is a few buildings and a shared services shed (mailboxes, etc) then it's a gated community. If it's a single building with a buzzer at the entrance it's not.



    By the way the most luxurious gated communities I've seen have no guard at the gate. Visible guards are more common in low-end communities.

     

    Every apartment I've ever been in has multiple buildings and a gate like you describe. This included the $300 a month college apartment where a guy got shot the day I moved in. It was NOT a "gated community."

    And maybe it's different round your part of the country, but every suburban gated community I've ever been to has a guardpost with a nice semi-retired police officer there to smile and wave you through. The only places with a gate and no guard I've seen are either private homes or shitty apartments.

     



  • @Snooder said:

    Every apartment I've ever been in has multiple buildings and a gate like you describe.

    You live in Melrose Place?

    @Snooder said:

    And maybe it's different round your part of the country, but every suburban gated community I've ever been to has a guardpost with a nice semi-retired police officer there to smile and wave you through. The only places with a gate and no guard I've seen are either private homes or shitty apartments.

     

    Yeah that's because you don't know what "luxurious" means. Those place have high security but it's not in your face, unlike a washed-out rent-a-cop wearing a wrinkled uniform and letting anybody who's not black waltz right in. Also you're the one talking about "suburban"; I never venture out there, it's full of poor people who think they made it big because they have Roman Columns on their front porch.



  • @Snooder said:

    Every apartment I've ever been in has multiple buildings and a gate like you describe.

    Man, what the fuck? Do you live in fucking Somalia?

    @Snooder said:

    The only places with a gate and no guard I've seen are either private homes or shitty apartments.

    I don't even know if there are gated communities around here.. Lots of people do have gates on their individual driveways, though. I think it's pretty stupid and looks like shit, honestly. A 410 is a better deterrent than a 5 foot gate. And it makes it seem like you live in a fucking compound. Ugh.



  • @Ronald said:

    Also you're the one talking about "suburban"; I never venture out there, it's full of poor people who think they made it big because they have Roman Columns on their front porch.

    Better to stay in plush downtown, where all the other guys who made their fortunes in pee reside.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Ronald said:
    Also you're the one talking about "suburban"; I never venture out there, it's full of poor people who think they made it big because they have Roman Columns on their front porch.

    Better to stay in plush downtown, where all the other guys who made their fortunes in pee reside.

    Indeed. I don't live in a gated community but there is 24x7 security downstairs to prevent the riffraff from invading the building, with the exception of the maid who's allowed in on weekdays.



  • @Ronald said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    @Ronald said:
    Also you're the one talking about "suburban"; I never venture out there, it's full of poor people who think they made it big because they have Roman Columns on their front porch.

    Better to stay in plush downtown, where all the other guys who made their fortunes in pee reside.

    Indeed. I don't live in a gated community but there is 24x7 security downstairs to prevent Mexicans from invading the building, with the exception of the maid who's allowed in on weekdays.

    FTFY.


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