There’s an app for that, and that only (aka nailing a single use case)



  • @Severity One said:

    lorry
     

    Lorry is that word that parrots say, right?



  • @dhromed said:

    @Severity One said:

    as an average-height Dutchman I'm 1.85m.
     

    How the fuck is everybody Dutch all of a sudden!

    Now I'm not unique and exotic anymore for those hot IT girls.

    There is a lot of Dutchmen in America. Especially in Miami and Las Vegas (which basically are the same).




  • @Ronald said:

    Miami and Las Vegas (which basically are the same).

    Las Vegas is for getting STDs from hookers.


    Miami is for getting STDs from elderly hookers.


    See? Nothing alike.



  • @Ben L. said:

    @Ronald said:
    Miami and Las Vegas (which basically are the same).

    Las Vegas is for getting STDs from hookers.


    Miami is for getting STDs from elderly hookers.


    See? Nothing alike.

    Did you ever set foot in Miami? Prostitutes are beautiful, with a nice infusion of Cubans, Portoricans, Jamaicans and Haitians. As for Las Vegas it's probably the city with the most efficient and well-organized prostitution in the world (with the possible exceptions of Dubai and Monte-Carlo). I don't know about street hookers (never seen one in Las Vegas, not sure they exist) but STDs and elderly prostitutes is not something typical in either Miami or Las Vegas. I think you need to travel a bit instead of making statements based on tv shows or romance novels.



  • @Ronald said:

    @Ben L. said:
    @Ronald said:
    Miami and Las Vegas (which basically are the same).
    Las Vegas is for getting STDs from hookers.

    Miami is for getting STDs from elderly hookers.

    See? Nothing alike.

    Did you ever set foot in Miami?
    [discussion of prostitution] 
    I think you need to travel a bit instead of making statements based on tv shows or romance novels.

    You realise you are yelling at a kid that just got out of high school right?  Expecting him to actually have facts is a bit far fetched.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Ronald said:

    Prostitutes are beautiful, with a nice infusion of Cubans, Portoricans, Jamaicans and Haitians.
     

    Yeah, I love hookers who have a little bit of a lot of people in them. That's why I have to pay extra.



  • @locallunatic said:

    @Ronald said:

    @Ben L. said:
    @Ronald said:
    Miami and Las Vegas (which basically are the same).
    Las Vegas is for getting STDs from hookers.

    Miami is for getting STDs from elderly hookers.

    See? Nothing alike.

    Did you ever set foot in Miami?
    [discussion of prostitution] 
    I think you need to travel a bit instead of making statements based on tv shows or romance novels.

    You realise you are yelling at a kid that just got out of high school right?  Expecting him to actually have facts is a bit far fetched.

    Not to mention the fact that he was making a joke about people in Florida being old.

    The sarcasm was so thick on that one I don't know how you could miss it.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @Ronald said:

    Prostitutes are beautiful, with a nice infusion of Cubans, Portoricans, Jamaicans and Haitians.
     

    Yeah, I love hookers who have a little bit of a lot of people in them. That's why I have to pay extra.

    That is not far from what I meant. Generations of immigration mixed with good ol' caucasian blood makes for beautiful hookers.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Ronald said:

    Generations of immigration mixed with good ol' caucasian blood
     

    I... I don't want to know how much you pay for that. =(



  • @Sutherlands said:

    @locallunatic said:

    @Ronald said:

    @Ben L. said:
    @Ronald said:
    Miami and Las Vegas (which basically are the same).
    Las Vegas is for getting STDs from hookers.

    Miami is for getting STDs from elderly hookers.

    See? Nothing alike.

    Did you ever set foot in Miami?
    [discussion of prostitution] 
    I think you need to travel a bit instead of making statements based on tv shows or romance novels.

    You realise you are yelling at a kid that just got out of high school right?  Expecting him to actually have facts is a bit far fetched.

    Not to mention the fact that he was making a joke about people in Florida being old.

    The sarcasm was so thick on that one I don't know how you could miss it.

    Both cities have the same kind of demographics (hence the initial comment), so making a joke about how people are old in one as opposed to the other is not a thick sarcasm, it's stupid.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    I... I don't want to know how much you pay for that. =(

    If you want to play rough, Haitians or dark-skinned Portoricans are the cheapest. Bruising and generic fast-healing wounds are included with the regular price. Cigaret burns is also ok as long as it's not on the breasts, ass or face. Stabbing is about $200 as long as no major organ is damaged. Breaking an arm below the elbow is $500. What gets really expensive is breaking knee caps or the tibias; this is usually frowned upon by the pimp and require pre-approval.



  • @Ronald said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    I... I don't want to know how much you pay for that. =(

    If you want to play rough, Haitians or dark-skinned Portoricans are the cheapest. Bruising and generic fast-healing wounds are included with the regular price. Cigaret burns is also ok as long as it's not on the breasts, ass or face. Stabbing is about $200 as long as no major organ is damaged. Breaking an arm below the elbow is $500. What gets really expensive is breaking knee caps or the tibias; this is usually frowned upon by the pimp and require pre-approval.



    Like anyone still uses a pimp in 2013. Independents and/or discreet online agencies only. The internet makes vice a whole new ballgame.

     



  • @Snooder said:

    @Ronald said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    I... I don't want to know how much you pay for that. =(

    If you want to play rough, Haitians or dark-skinned Portoricans are the cheapest. Bruising and generic fast-healing wounds are included with the regular price. Cigaret burns is also ok as long as it's not on the breasts, ass or face. Stabbing is about $200 as long as no major organ is damaged. Breaking an arm below the elbow is $500. What gets really expensive is breaking knee caps or the tibias; this is usually frowned upon by the pimp and require pre-approval.



    Like anyone still uses a pimp in 2013. Independents and/or discreet online agencies only. The internet makes vice a whole new ballgame.

     

    Sure, and those girls on Backpage are really "new in the business", and strippers are all university students.



  • @Ronald said:

    Sure, and those girls on Backpage are really "new in the business", and strippers are all university students.
     

    I'm 18.



  • @dhromed said:

    @Ronald said:

    Sure, and those girls on Backpage are really "new in the business", and strippers are all university students.
     

    I'm barely18.

    FTFY. Important marketing twist.



  • @Ronald said:

    Sure, and those girls on Backpage are really "new in the business", and strippers are all university students.


    Who the hell hires a "new" hooker? That's like getting your taxes done by someone who doesn't know what double-entry bookkeeping is.. When paying for services, always get a seasoned professional.

     


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Snooder said:

    Who the hell hires a "new" hooker? That's like getting your taxes done by someone who doesn't know what double-entry bookkeeping is.. When paying for services, always get a seasoned professional.

    Because an accountant gets seasoned with bureaucracy-navigation experience and knowledge of tax laws, instead of getting seasoned with AIDS.

    Unless you go to H&R Block.



  •  Hmm, actually, given the tangent that this thread has taken, I'm starting to wonder if there would be a market for a bespoke app for the discriminating john/ho on the go. Hell, they could even use most of the code from the app in OP, just with a few judicious improvements.

    I mean, can you imagine an app that tags local streetwalkers (with reviews) and your location, as well as last known sightings of law enforcement? Add in a route finder to the nearest convenience store and cheap motel and you'll have yourself something people can REALLY use.



  • @Snooder said:

     Hmm, actually, given the tangent that this thread has taken, I'm starting to wonder if there would be a market for a bespoke app for the discriminating john/ho on the go. Hell, they could even use most of the code from the app in OP, just with a few judicious improvements.

    I mean, can you imagine an app that tags local streetwalkers (with reviews) and your location, as well as last known sightings of law enforcement? Add in a route finder to the nearest convenience store and cheap motel and you'll have yourself something people can REALLY use.

    The big problem with that is that the top tier hookers (the runaway teens and imported East Europeans or Asians slaves) are constantly shuffled around major cities by those pimps you think don't exist to make it more difficult for the parents and/or police to track them down. Regular local gals are the minority and are usually not a target for picky customers, they are more of a commodity that will do in a pinch.

    I don't think you understand at all how prostitution works. I blame Julia Roberts.



  • All this over a "people from Florida are old" comment? Geesh.



  • @Ben L. said:

    All this over a "people from Florida are old" comment? Geesh.

    Don't try to take credit for disrupting threads. Also for the love of god will you get an haircut already.



  • @Ronald said:

    @Snooder said:

     Hmm, actually, given the tangent that this thread has taken, I'm starting to wonder if there would be a market for a bespoke app for the discriminating john/ho on the go. Hell, they could even use most of the code from the app in OP, just with a few judicious improvements.

    I mean, can you imagine an app that tags local streetwalkers (with reviews) and your location, as well as last known sightings of law enforcement? Add in a route finder to the nearest convenience store and cheap motel and you'll have yourself something people can REALLY use.

    The big problem with that is that the top tier hookers (the runaway teens and imported East Europeans or Asians slaves) are constantly shuffled around major cities by those pimps you think don't exist to make it more difficult for the parents and/or police to track them down. Regular local gals are the minority and are usually not a target for picky customers, they are more of a commodity that will do in a pinch.

    I don't think you understand at all how prostitution works. I blame Julia Roberts.



    Wow, we must just have really, really different tastes in hookers. Personally the really skinny young looking ones freak me right the fuck out. Plus, no matter what The Bloodhound gang told you, lapdances are NOT better when the stripper is crying. 1 gal with money trouble, enthusiasm and joie-de-vivre is worth 10 coked up sex slaves who just lie there and make you do all the work. Might as well save yourself the cash and just jerk it at that point.

     


  • Considered Harmful

    @Snooder said:

    10 coked up sex slaves who just lie there and make you do all the work. Might as well save yourself the cash and just jerk it at that point.

     


    I'm not sure you understand what stimulants do.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    @Snooder said:
    10 coked up sex slaves who just lie there and make you do all the work. Might as well save yourself the cash and just jerk it at that point.

     


    I'm not sure you understand what stimulants do.

    Basic drugs and prostitution economics also seem out of his reach. "Coking up" 10 sex slaves would put a serious dent in the bottom line. He should ask one of those pimps he thinks don't exist anymore.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    @Snooder said:
    10 coked up sex slaves who just lie there and make you do all the work. Might as well save yourself the cash and just jerk it at that point.

     

    I'm not sure you understand what stimulants do.

     

    Well of course I don't mean she's coked up WHILE fucking you. I mean she's just waiting for you to finish so she can run off and get her latest fix.

    Although you are right, coke isn't the drug of choice for keeping sex slaves docile. Heroin is substantially more likely.

     


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Ronald said:

    He should ask one of those pimps he thinks don't exist anymore.

    Related: Eliot Spitzer (AKA Client #9) is running for NYC comptroller against the woman who supplied him with high end prostitutes.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Snooder said:

    Although you are right, coke isn't the drug of choice for keeping sex slaves docile.
     

    Drugs? What kind of evil moron are you?

    You hook them up to an IV and drain blood. It drops the blood pressure enough for them to be lethargic, but not enough to kill or KO them. Then you sell the blood to illicit medical facilities. I would suggest a backalley abortion clinic. They need the blood for their operation, and you'll need their services often enough. You might save some $$$ by striking a B2B relationship with them, rather than a client/service one.



  • @Snooder said:

    Wow, we must just have really, really different tastes in hookers.

    Guess that pink shirt didn't bring in the ladies like you thought, huh?



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    You hook them up to an IV and drain blood.

    That's not halal.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Ronald said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    You hook them up to an IV, put a veil over their face, and drain blood.

    That's not halal.

     

    FTFY. Happy? You shouldn't be fucking near-dead hookers to nearer-death during Ramadan anyways. At least not during daylight hours.

     


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