Hooray data loss
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@da Doctah said:
Having revealed above that I'm old enough to have been born into a USA with only 49 states...
Old!
@HardwareGeek said:
Yeah, I missed the 48-state era by four days.
Gah, they're overrunning the place!! What happened, did Alex start advertising this place at the nursing home??
@El_Heffe said:
I never thought about that but . . . . me too.
Noooooo, not El Heffe, too!!
@HardwareGeek said:
I used to think I couldn't relate to anyone who couldn't remember JFK's assassination (not that I was old enough to really understand the significance at the time, but it's one of those moments you never forget)...
You just think you remember it, because that's what the Trilateral Commission and Bilderbergers want you to think. The truth is, JFK resigned and retired to Bermuda. The "assassination" was fabricated a few years later, along with the "Moon landing" and "the Grateful Dead", to help Nixon's poll numbers. See, television was so new in Olden Times that once they started broadcasting video of the "assassination" (filmed on a sound stage by Stanley Kubrick) it overtook your own memories and became the "truth".
To make you all feel older, here are a few facts from when I was born:
- Man had not only long ago walked on the Moon (well, on a sound stage..) but people had long ago grown tired of it, until a young man by the name of Michael Jackson reinvigorated space travel with his "Moonwalk".
- Israel and the Palestinians were at each other's throats.
- Gas was $1.21 a gallon.
- Barack Obama was a Marxist agitator.
- Return of the Jedi hadn't even been out a year, but it was obvious George Lucas was less of an artist and more of a money whore who would ride his creation until the wheels came off.
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@Ronald said:
@El_Heffe said:
Realistically, It has no effect on me because the reaction of any girl that young would be:
eeeewwwww! Get away from me old man
<br>
This is 2013. More likely she would say: "throw in an iPhone and I'll go bareback".
An iPhone?? Jeeze, what kind of high-class Millenials have you been boning? Most will do it for half a six-pack of PBR and a hit of ecstasy.
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@da Doctah said:
And once she's eighteen, there are no restrictions on her partner's age.
I'm sure there are. It's just that an 18-yr-old woman fucking a 13 yr old boy won't be getting as harsh a treatment than if the sexes were reversed.
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@PJH said:
It's just that an 18-yr-old woman fucking a 13 yr old boy won't be getting as harsh a treatment than if the sexes were reversed.
She should get a medal.
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@morbiuswilters said:
@PJH said:
It's just that an 18-yr-old woman fucking a 13 yr old boy won't be getting as harsh a treatment than if the sexes were reversed.
She should get a medal.
She?
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@Liquid Egg Product said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@PJH said:
It's just that an 18-yr-old woman fucking a 13 yr old boy won't be getting as harsh a treatment than if the sexes were reversed.
She should get a medal.
She?
We want to encourage this behavior. The boy doesn't need a medal.
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@morbiuswilters said:
@HardwareGeek said:
I used to think I couldn't relate to anyone who couldn't remember JFK's assassination (not that I was old enough to really understand the significance at the time, but it's one of those moments you never forget)...
You just think you remember it, because that's what the Trilateral Commission and Bilderbergers want you to think.
Just to clarify, what I remember is not the actual assassination. What I remember is my school principal walking into our classroom in tears and sobbing that the President had been shot. My memories of watching the film (whatever wacko conspiracy theories you may or may not believe about it) are from years after the fact.
@morbiuswilters said:
To make you all feel older, here are a few facts from when I was born:
I was 10. My parents kept me home from school to watch it. I found out the next day that the whole class had watched it together (on a better TV than the old B&W we had at home); oh well. @morbiuswilters said:
- Man had not only long ago walked on the Moon
but people had long ago grown tired of it, until a young man by the name of Michael Jackson reinvigorated space travel with his "Moonwalk".
If only... @morbiuswilters said:
Some things never change. @morbiuswilters said:- Israel and the Palestinians were at each other's throats.
- Barack Obama was a Marxist agitator.
I don't know what it was when I was born, but I remember prices around $0.25 a gallon; < $0.20 during "gas wars." Unlike the current situation in the Middle East, this meant service stations (and they actually served you, way back then) slashing prices to get you to buy gas from them rather than the competitor across the street.- Gas was $1.21 a gallon.
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@HardwareGeek said:
Just to clarify, what I remember is not the actual assassination. What I remember is my school principal walking into our classroom in tears and sobbing that the President had been shot.
You just think you remember your school principal sobbing. That was a false memory, implanted into your head using hypnosis during what you thought was a Foghat concert.
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@morbiuswilters said:
@HardwareGeek said:
Just to clarify, what I remember is not the actual assassination. What I remember is my school principal walking into our classroom in tears and sobbing that the President had been shot.
You just think you remember your school principal sobbing. That was a false memory, implanted into your head using hypnosis during what you thought was a Foghat concert.
It was one of ShadowMod's greatest accomplishments.
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@HardwareGeek said:
Plus, my daughter would be totally weirded-out if I hooked up with someone
youngerother than her. So would I, for that matter. Yuck!ITFY
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@HardwareGeek said:
my daughter would be totally weirded-out if I hooked up with someone younger than her. So would I, for that matter. Yuck!
One of the worst things aboutbeing oldreaching a certain age is seeing a hot girl and then realizing she's younger than your daughter.
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@El_Heffe said:
Most of us remember the first Playmate of the Month who was actually younger than us. I can also remember the first time the Playmate hadn't been born when I was buying my first issue of Playboy over the counter.@HardwareGeek said:
my daughter would be totally weirded-out if I hooked up with someone younger than her. So would I, for that matter. Yuck!
One of the worst things aboutbeing oldreaching a certain age is seeing a hot girl and then realizing she's younger than your daughter.(And to make matters worse, this was long enough ago that she wasn't shaved clean.)
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@da Doctah said:
Most of us remember the first Playmate of the Month who was actually younger than us. I can also remember the first time the Playmate hadn't been born when I was buying my first issue of Playboy over the counter.
I found a bunch of Playboys from the 70's that were scanned into PDFs On the back of the centerfold is information about the girl, including her birthday. Here's Miss November, 1977.
She just turned 60 last week.
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@dhromed said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@HardwareGeek said:
Just to clarify, what I remember is not the actual assassination. What I remember is my school principal walking into our classroom in tears and sobbing that the President had been shot.
You just think you remember your school principal sobbing. That was a false memory, implanted into your head using hypnosis during what you thought was a Foghat concert.
It was one of ShadowMod's greatest accomplishments.
Hey, if your President comes to you and says "Me, my brother and our actress pump-muppet want to retire to Bermuda--make people think we all died," then you do it.
ShadowMod does regret Martin Luther King, Jr., though. It was supposed to be a simple job: make it look like he'd been assassinated so he could run off with the SCLC's money. But there was some confusion and he didn't wear the damn bullet-proof vest ShadowMod gave him.
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@El_Heffe said:
@HardwareGeek said:
my daughter would be totally weirded-out if I hooked up with someone younger than her. So would I, for that matter. Yuck!
One of the worst things aboutbeing oldreaching a certain age is seeing a hot girl and then realizing she's younger than your daughter.I have this problem all the time. It's part of why I'm no longer allowed at the pre-school.
Seriously, though, when my dad re-married his wife was about a year older than me. She wasn't hot, though. Far from it.
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@El_Heffe said:
@da Doctah said:
Most of us remember the first Playmate of the Month who was actually younger than us. I can also remember the first time the Playmate hadn't been born when I was buying my first issue of Playboy over the counter.
I found a bunch of Playboys from the 70's that were scanned into PDFs On the back of the centerfold is information about the girl, including her birthday. Here's Miss November, 1977. She just turned 60 last week.
Well, you just turned this thread into a creepy old-guy fest..
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@El_Heffe said:
I found a bunch of Playboys from the 70's that were scanned into PDFs On the back of the centerfold is information about the girl, including her birthday. Here's Miss November, 1977.
She just turned 60 last week.
First issue of Playboy was December 1953 (Hef didn't include a date on the cover because at that point he didn't yet know whether it was going to be a monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, annual or one-off magazine).
First Playmate born after December 1953 was Monica Tidwell, Miss November 1973. A small about of hoopla in the Playboy organization at that time about her being the first Playmate younger than the magazine itself.
First Playmate born after Ms Tidwell's 1973 centerfold was Victoria Silvstedt, Miss December 1996, and later Playmate of the Year 1997. Little or no notice was taken at the time that she was the first "third-generation" Playmate.
The youngest Playmate so far was Amanda Streich, Miss December 2012, born in 1993. Since Playboy won't even consider posting nudes of someone under eighteen (they did a few in the early days with permission of the girl's parents, but got stung when one lied about her age so they're extra-cautious now), the first "fourth-generation" Playmate probably won't turn up until at least 2015 and may be in junior high school right now.
When she does appear, morbs can be the dirty old man, because frankly for the last twenty years they all look alike to me.
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@morbiuswilters said:
Seriously, though, when my dad re-married his wife was about a year older than me. She wasn't hot, though. Far from it.
I hope you called her Mom.
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@da Doctah said:
The youngest Playmate so far was Amanda Streich, Miss December 2012, born in 1993. Since Playboy won't even consider posting nudes of someone under eighteen (they did a few in the early days with permission of the girl's parents, but got stung when one lied about her age so they're extra-cautious now),
Eva Ionesco is the youngest model ever to appear in a Playboy nude pictorial, she was featured at age 11 in the October 1976 issue of the Italian edition of the magazine in a set by photographer Jacques Bourboulon.
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@da Doctah said:
First issue of Playboy was December 1953 (Hef didn't include a date on the cover because at that point he didn't yet know whether it was going to be a monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, annual or one-off magazine).
Creepy. Old. Guy. Fest.
@da Doctah said:
First Playmate born after December 1953 was Monica Tidwell, Miss November 1973. A small about of hoopla in the Playboy organization at that time about her being the first Playmate younger than the magazine itself.
Dude.. what the fuck? I think you know more about Playboy than the actual people who work there.
@da Doctah said:
First Playmate born after Ms Tidwell's 1973 centerfold was Victoria Silvstedt, Miss December 1996, and later Playmate of the Year 1997. Little or no notice was taken at the time that she was the first "third-generation" Playmate.
Is it normal for a person to have this much emotional connection to porn? It's like you're married to it..
@da Doctah said:
Since Playboy won't even consider posting nudes of someone under eighteen (they did a few in the early days with permission of the girl's parents
W. T. F. You're saying it used to be okay to publish kiddie porn if you had the parents' permission??
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@El_Heffe said:
@da Doctah said:
The youngest Playmate so far was Amanda Streich, Miss December 2012, born in 1993. Since Playboy won't even consider posting nudes of someone under eighteen (they did a few in the early days with permission of the girl's parents, but got stung when one lied about her age so they're extra-cautious now),
Eva Ionesco is the youngest model ever to appear in a Playboy
nude pictorial, she was featured at age 11 in the October 1976
issue of the Italian edition of the magazine in a set by photographer Jacques Bourboulon.Creepy old guy fest! Creepy old guy fest!
WTF, guys?? What the fucking fuck???
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@Ronald said:
@morbiuswilters said:
Seriously, though, when my dad re-married his wife was about a year older than me. She wasn't hot, though. Far from it.
I hope you called her Mom.
Congrats: You're the least-creepy old guy in this thread. (And, no, I didn't.)
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@morbiuswilters said:
@Ronald said:@morbiuswilters said:
Congrats: You're the least-creepy old guy in this thread. (And, no, I didn't.)Seriously, though, when my dad re-married his wife was about a year older than me. She wasn't hot, though. Far from it.
I hope you called her Mom.Why not? I mean she was too close in age to get the good reaction out of others for it (also you would have to look like you could in theory be related) when they figure that she had you at like 12.
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@locallunatic said:
Why not?
Because it's creepy and she was a lunatic and I didn't like her.
@locallunatic said:
also you would have to look like you could in theory be related
I already told you she wasn't hot, so obviously we didn't look anything alike.
@locallunatic said:
when they figure that she had you at like 12.
She actually kind of looked to be in her late 30s--way older than me. Probably drug abuse or something.
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@morbiuswilters said:
@da Doctah said:
First Playmate born after December 1953 was Monica Tidwell, Miss November 1973. A small about of hoopla in the Playboy organization at that time about her being the first Playmate younger than the magazine itself.
Dude.. what the fuck? I think you know more about Playboy than the actual people who work there.
This particular bit of data comes from the people who did work there in the early '70s. Sort of a rite-of-passage/look-what-an-institution-we've-become thing. They ran a cartoon a few years later by one of their major contributors that shows some kid in his early teens asleep, with an old-style (capri pants and what not) centerfold tackd above his bed, and two adult men with a flashlight with the caption "We can't make him take it down; it's his grandmother".
@morbiuswilters said:
@da Doctah said:
First Playmate born after Ms Tidwell's 1973 centerfold was Victoria Silvstedt, Miss December 1996, and later Playmate of the Year 1997. Little or no notice was taken at the time that she was the first "third-generation" Playmate.
Is it normal for a person to have this much emotional connection to porn? It's like you're married to it..
I'm not interested in baseball, so this is how I fulfill my inner compulsion to compile meaningless statistics.
Seriously, it's not like I knew this at the time. There's this thing called Wikipedia that lists the birthdates of every Playmate for the last sixty years. You need to make a point involving "the first Playmate who wasn't born at the time of the Apollo XI moon landing" or whatever, you just scan through the entries until you see one with a late enough birthday. The above list of milestones were something I looked up for that very purpose. The more personal milestone of "Hey, Miss August is younger than I am!" is the sort of thing you notice at the time, which as my luck had it was only a short time after they started printing bio sheets on the back of the centerfold.
@morbiuswilters said:
@da Doctah said:
Since Playboy won't even consider posting nudes of someone under eighteen (they did a few in the early days with permission of the girl's parents
W. T. F. You're saying it used to be okay to publish kiddie porn if you had the parents' permission??
I forgot you're of the generation that thinks a breast-flashing selfie of a sixteen-year-old is the same thing as hardcore closeup penetration between a couple of kindergarteners. Yes, in the late '50s and early '60s, a nubile teen could pose in the presence of parental chaperones and it fell under the heading of "art". Nudity != sex, even if the powers that be have for the last thirty years been successfully convincing people otherwise.
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@da Doctah said:
They ran a cartoon a few years later by one of their major contributors that shows some kid in his early teens asleep, with an old-style (capri pants and what not) centerfold tackd above his bed, and two adult men with a flashlight with the caption "We can't make him take it down; it's his grandmother".
More. Creepy. Old. Guy. Fest.
@da Doctah said:
I forgot you're of the generation that thinks a breast-flashing selfie of a sixteen-year-old is the same thing as hardcore closeup penetration between a couple of kindergarteners.
What, where did I say that?
@da Doctah said:
Yes, in the late '50s and early '60s, a nubile teen could pose in the presence of parental chaperones and it fell under the heading of "art".
Ahh, the 50s and early 60s.. a time when the words "don't drink and drive" had never been uttered by a human being; a time when if the wife burned your pot roast, you could belt her across the face and when the cops came they just jokingly ask if you want them to "take her downtown and spank her"; a time when every black man was "boy", and if one was causing problems you could just find a white girl to stutter out some vague accusation and he'd be hanging from the nearest tree by dawn.
Oh, and apparently a time where it was completely acceptable for adults to sexually abuse children (oh, sorry, "nubile teens"..) Clearly those were halcyon days in need of emulation...
@da Doctah said:
Nudity != sex
No, nudity isn't always sexual. But then again, pornography was never art. And while there might be a fine line and disagreement on where that line lays, it's pretty hard to lump "children posing in Playboy" with "Michaelangelo's David".
The problem isn't even the nudity, but the subject of the nudity; a child, just becoming familiar with his or her sexuality, forced into a vulnerable position by trusted parents where they are sexually exploited for the enjoyment of a gang of creepy old perverts. You can't even make the argument it's necessary; from the perspective of art, there are plenty of 18 year olds who look years younger, if that's what you're after, for whatever reason. At least an 18 year-old who looks 14 is able to make some consensual decisions, even though the thought of creepy old men yankin' it to photos of what they're imagining is a 14 year-old child is horrifically disturbing.
But what's the justification for exploiting an actual 14 year-old who can't reasonably consent? It's abuse, plain and simple, which is why it's illegal. It's not because people are bothered by naughty bits; plenty of other porn is legal, including really horrible, degrading stuff; or companies that find the absolute youngest-looking 18 year-olds they can--complete with the stuffed animals on her bed and the clothing of a child.
No, child porn is illegal because the subjects are being abused and exploited and can't say or do anything to stop it. In fact, in many cases they may feel like what they are doing is really wrong and they don't want to, but they still go along with it because their parent(s) are "encouraging" them. And of course this leads to psychological damage which can last a lifetime.
So, yeah, I guess wanting to spare children from sexual trauma caused by you and Hugh Hefner wanting to "appreciate the art of their nubile, teenage bodies" in a dark room makes me some kind of prude!
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I agree with everything Morbs just said.
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@da Doctah said:
some kid in his early teens asleep, with an old-style centerfold tackd above his bed, and two adult men with a flashlight with the caption "We can't make him take it down; it's his grandmother".
That's the part that's always seemd a little weird to me. I like to see naked women just as much as anyone else, but at some point, when Miss November 1978 is now 60, what do you say to the family? Hey kids, look, it's grandma's vagina.
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@El_Heffe said:
Hey kids, look, it's grandma's vagina.
Add in a few fifths of Evan Williams and you just described the Wilters' family Christmas party..
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@morbiuswilters said:
@El_Heffe said:
Hey kids, look, it's grandma's vagina.
Add in a few fifths of Evan Williams and you just described the Wilters' family Christmas party..
Ahh, that explains the name. I always wondered.
