My name is Corky and I work at SAP
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@El_Heffe said:
@Ronald said:
@arh said:
I hate hate hate Neil Patrick Harris
Hey no NPH bashing!
That's gayer than Blakeyrat, BenL, and Dhromed put together.
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@drurowin said:
@El_Heffe said:
@Ronald said:
@arh said:
I hate hate hate Neil Patrick Harris
Hey no NPH bashing!
That's gayer than Blakeyrat, BenL, and Dhromed put together.
You spelled 0 out of 3 names correctly. Congratulations! It's a new high score!
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@Ben L. said:
@drurowin said:
That's gayer than Blakeyrat, BenL, and Dhromed put together.
You spelled 0 out of 3 names correctly. Congratulations! It's a new high score!Correct answers are Blankeyrant, Benny J, and Dharmed.
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@morbiuswilters said:
I've doubled my income every couple of years for the last decade
How do you manage to do that?
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@Ronald said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@Ronald said:
There you goHey if you want I can profile you too...
Okay!
- You are a male, mid or late 30s
- You do not have children of your own but there is at least one kid around, maybe a niece or a nephew.
- You grew up in the shadow of someone, either an older brother or a best friend that was more popular, but as years went by you figured out that this person is a loser.
- You think that the work clothes you own make you look like a senior manager or an executive, but instead they make you look like the owner of a low-end bowling alley in South Beach or at best like someone who went shopping with his mom at Sears or JC Penney (you should trash everything and go on a shopping spree with a cute girl and a black gay friend).
- You have body image issues, maybe a weight problem, and there is something going on with your hair or skin that makes you self-conscious.
- One of your parents is running a side-business at home, like doing tax or doing a bit of tailoring
- You dry your underwear on a clothesline not in a dryer
- You know exactly how much money you made last year
- You don't drink coffee
- You bring your lunch at work and don't realize that it's one of the reasons you are stuck under a glass ceiling (it's all about perception)
Of course there is no way to validate the answers but I guess it's pretty accurate.Ooooo -- Profile me! Profile Me!
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@Sutherlands said:
@morbiuswilters said:
I've doubled my income every couple of years for the last decade
How do you manage to do that?I'm thinking top of a multi-level marketting program of some sort...
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@Sutherlands said:
@morbiuswilters said:
I've doubled my income every couple of years for the last decade
How do you manage to do that?10 years ago he made $1.00 per year.
Now he's almost up to Bangladesh standards of living.
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@blakeyrat said:
Yes, but in a few years he'll be able to fill the whole chessboard with grains of rice, or whatever.@Sutherlands said:
@morbiuswilters said:
I've doubled my income every couple of years for the last decade
How do you manage to do that?10 years ago he made $1.00 per year.
Now he's almost up to Bangladesh standards of living.
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@blakeyrat said:
That was my first thought, maybe he just didn't make squat 10 year ago, but even doubling a crappy salary twice in 10 years gives a good amount (35k22=140k). (Of course he could have been exaggerating on the doubling.)@Sutherlands said:
@morbiuswilters said:
I've doubled my income every couple of years for the last decade
How do you manage to do that?10 years ago he made $1.00 per year.
Now he's almost up to Bangladesh standards of living.
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@Lorne Kates said:
FTFY@blakeyrat said:
10 years ago he made $1.00 per year.
That's $1 more per year than Ben L. makes.
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@Ben L. said:
@Lorne Kates said:
FTFY@blakeyrat said:
10 years ago he made $1.00 per year.
That's $1 more per year than Ben L. makes.
Hey, kid. You're not supposed to be self-deprecating.
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@blakeyrat said:
@Sutherlands said:
@morbiuswilters said:
I've doubled my income every couple of years for the last decade
How do you manage to do that?10 years ago he made $1.00 per year.
Now he's almost up to Bangladesh standards of living.
I even have my own squat toilet!
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@Sutherlands said:
That was my first thought, maybe he just didn't make squat 10 year ago, but even doubling a crappy salary twice in 10 years gives a good amount (35k22=140k). (Of course he could have been exaggerating on the doubling.)
I'm 29, so 10 years ago I was 19 and was making minimum wage. Does that make the math a bit easier?
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@morbiuswilters said:
@Sutherlands said:
That was my first thought, maybe he just didn't make squat 10 year ago, but even doubling a crappy salary twice in 10 years gives a good amount (35k22=140k). (Of course he could have been exaggerating on the doubling.)
I'm 29, so 10 years ago I was 19 and was making minimum wage. Does that make the math a bit easier?
OK, so in 2003 you made minimum wage (at the time [depending on state], $5.15/hr). In 2005 you doubled that, so $10.30/hr. In 2007 you doubled that, so $20.60/hr. In 2009 you doubled that, so $41.20/hr. In 2011 you doubled that, so $82.40/hr. This year you'll double that again, so $164.80/hr. Converted to annual salary, about $342,784 a year.
Not bad.
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@morbiuswilters said:
@Sutherlands said:
That was my first thought, maybe he just didn't make squat 10 year ago, but even doubling a crappy salary twice in 10 years gives a good amount (35k*2*2=140k). (Of course he could have been exaggerating on the doubling.)
I'm 29, so 10 years ago I was 19 and was making minimum wage. Does that make the math a bit easier?
So you're also 10 years older than Ben L. and MiffTheFox, and 10 years younger than Dhromed and Blakeyrant.
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@joe.edwards said:
OK, so in 2003 you made minimum wage (at the time [depending on state], $5.15/hr). In 2005 you doubled that, so $10.30/hr. In 2007 you doubled that, so $20.60/hr. In 2009 you doubled that, so $41.20/hr. In 2011 you doubled that, so $82.40/hr. This year you'll double that again, so $164.80/hr. Converted to annual salary, about $342,784 a year.
You're making some assumptions here. For one, I never said it was going to double this year. I'm probably at the end of having my salary double, unless hyperinflation kicks in or something.
The other thing you're assuming is that I worked full-time in 2003.
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@drurowin said:
So you're also 10 years older than Ben L. and MiffTheFox, and 10 years younger than Dhromed and Blakeyrant.
Miffy's just a kid? I did not know that.
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I knew Miff was a kid, but I figured Morbs was in my age range.
Now I'm depressed. Where did I fuck up in life!
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@morbiuswilters said:
@drurowin said:
I'm guessing that based on the Pokemon avatar and the inexperienced opinions. OTOH, Blakeyrant shows the ravages of age.So you're also 10 years older than Ben L. and MiffTheFox, and 10 years younger than Dhromed and Blakeyrant.
Miffy's just a kid? I did not know that.
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@drurowin said:
OTOH, Blakeyrant shows the ravages of age.
I like to call it "wisdom and experience."
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@blakeyrat said:
@drurowin said:
OTOH, Blakeyrant shows the ravages of age.
I like to call it "wisdom and experience."
Okay: Blakey shows the ravages of wisdom and experience.
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@morbiuswilters said:
@drurowin said:So you're also 10 years older than Ben L. and MiffTheFox, and 10 years younger than Dhromed and Blakeyrant.
Miffy's just a kid? I did not know that.I think it's more young then not yet age of majority. While Ben L. is (I think) graduating high school shortly, pretty sure that Miff is a few years passed that.
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@locallunatic said:
I think it's more young then not yet age of majority. While Ben L. is (I think) graduating high school shortly, pretty sure that Miff is a few years passed that.
Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink, and I'd have a college degree by now if I wasn't a part time student.
Also I have a job. An IT job. Granted, it's a shitty one but it's an IT job.
I use an OS people still care about, a programming language people care about period, and am actually (slightly) competent when it comes to IT.
So yeah, nothing in common with him. Heck, we're probably not even nostalgic for the same things, seeing as when I was growing up my parents didn't like wasting money on unnecessary things such as video games and cable TV.
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@MiffTheFox said:
Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink...
He can vote and drink, just not legally.
@MiffTheFox said:
Heck, we're probably not even nostalgic for the same things, seeing as when I was growing up my parents didn't like wasting money on unnecessary things such as video games and cable TV.
Ah, another Macneil/Lehrer fan!
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@morbiuswilters said:
@MiffTheFox said:
He'd also never heard of Andy Capp.Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink...
He can vote and drink, just not legally.
@MiffTheFox said:
Heck, we're probably not even nostalgic for the same things, seeing as when I was growing up my parents didn't like wasting money on unnecessary things such as video games and cable TV.
Ah, another Macneil/Lehrer fan!
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@morbiuswilters said:
@MiffTheFox said:
Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink...
He can vote and drink, just not legally.
I can vote. I'm drinking right now.
It's water. I'm boring like that.
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@Ben L. said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@MiffTheFox said:
Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink...
He can vote and drink, just not legally.
I can vote. I'm drinking right now.
It's water. I'm boring like that.
American Idol doesn't count, kiddo.
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@drurowin said:
That would require a phone.@Ben L. said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@MiffTheFox said:
Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink...
He can vote and drink, just not legally.
I can vote. I'm drinking right now.
It's water. I'm boring like that.
American Idol doesn't count, kiddo.
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@Ben L. said:
@drurowin said:
That would require a phone.@Ben L. said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@MiffTheFox said:
Unlike Ben L, I can vote and drink...
He can vote and drink, just not legally.
I can vote. I'm drinking right now.
It's water. I'm boring like that.
American Idol doesn't count, kiddo.
You're on the Internet. You can figure out how to make a phone call.
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@drurowin said:
You're on the Internet. You can figure out how to make a phone call.
Spaceship Fleet Engineer (Second Class) Ben L is connected to the NetSphereWeb. However, he finds it difficult to figure out how to place an auditory voice call. New Spaceship Fleet regulations have restricted outside communications, so long as the war with the Pushers is on-going. Spies lurk everywhere.
Suddenly, a visual holographic call comes in, Priority Alpha! It's an urgent message for the Captain, which can only be delivered by Ben, in-person, in the Captain's Quarters. Ben runs out the door of his tiny, dank Engineer's Quarters and darts to the HyperLift, which will take him to the Captain's Deck.
Captain (Awesome Class) Morbius Wilters is dressed in his jammies and sitting on his Captain's Bed; on his head rests a helmet with wires protruding from every direction. Engineer "Gentle" Ben enters. "Sir, I have some urgent news!"
"At ease, Engineer (Second Class). You caught me right in the middle of a cybernetic orgy. I'm currently pleasuring over 200 million women on all 79 of the Spaceship Caliphate's planets." The Captain gyrates his hips in the air while moaning sensuously. His eyes closed, he makes kissy faces at the air.
"Uh, sir, I think I'll just wait in the hall... As usual," adds Engineer Ben.
"Nonsense," replies Captain Wilters, "I'm not shy. Just take a seat in my Captain's Chair."
Ben eyes the Captain's Chair with unease. He carefully tries--and fails--to position himself so he isn't sitting directly on any of the countless suspicious stains which cover the back, seat and arms of the chair and form a rich tapestry of filth; a seeming archipelago of dried bodily fluids.
"Oh Goddammit, I think Participant #27,986,413 is a dude," says the Captain. "Yep, that's definitely a wang," he says depressed-ly, as he removes the helmet. "Freakin' homos got to ruin everything." Captain Wilters had already been censured twice before by the Caliph herself for saying politically incorrect things when dudes had slipped into his cybernetic orgies in the past.
"So, Ben, what's this news you bring me, Your Captain?" asks the Captain.
Ben is lost in thought, staring at the dreamy, creamy-white jowls of Captain Wilters. Those were the jowls of a predator--they projected confidence and the will to power. Ben is awestruck.
"Engineer (Second Class) 'Gentle' Ben! Snap out of it!" shouts the captain. "Were you daydreaming about my sexy jowls again?"
Ben blushes and shifts uncomfortably in his seat, smearing one of the stains on the chair that had yet to fully dry.
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Superb ending!
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I would like to see anyone top that.
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@arh said:
I would like to see anyone top that.
Give me a second for the percs to kick in, and I'll see what I can do.
