"Technical" Project Managers



  • So we're working in a classified environment, and we have to pull a binary configuration file from a system in order to modify it offsite.  The system owners don't want to release the file due to security concerns, but this is a critical path task that needs to be done one way or another.  So we have a meeting to discuss our options.  The only real option, of course, is to pull the file, have it declassified, and then bring it offsite.  But the Project Manager, who purports herself to be technical, offered a very creative suggestion:

    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?



  • Sounds like a good, easy way to get rid of a PM for a bit.

    "Here, just copy this file down. We need to preserve the binaryness of the data, which is why you can only write 1's and 0's."



  • @growse said:

    Sounds like a good, easy way to get rid of a PM for a bit.

    "Here, just copy this file down. We need to preserve the binaryness of the data, which is why you can only write 1's and 0's."

    And just to make it challenging for the noobie, tell them you need it in base-42



  • @kolbe said:


    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    Smarter people take printouts; but even that qualifies as a WTF.



  • <FONT face=Tahoma>since you mentioned its a classified environment, i assume the pm also had clearance. How is that possible and WTF?!</FONT>



  • @kuroshin said:

    @kolbe said:

    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    Smarter people take printouts; but even that qualifies as a WTF.




    No no no no, smarterer people print it out, place it on a wooden table, take a picture...



  • @kolbe said:


    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    so if this is a word doc, that's like 3 or 4 sentences, right?



  • @Will said:

    @kuroshin said:
    @kolbe said:

    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    Smarter people take printouts; but even that qualifies as a WTF.


    No no no no, smarterer people print it out, place it on a wooden table, take a picture...

    <FONT face=Tahoma>And fax it out folded...



    </FONT>



  • @xrT said:

    @Will said:
    @kuroshin said:
    @kolbe said:

    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    Smarter people take printouts; but even that qualifies as a WTF.


    No no no no, smarterer people print it out, place it on a wooden table, take a picture...

    <FONT face=Tahoma>And fax it out folded...



    </FONT>

    Compression. the polite way to send files.

    Fold it over 9 times and it should fit into 100 bytes....



  • @Some Idiot said:

    @xrT said:

    @Will said:
    @kuroshin said:
    @kolbe said:

    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    Smarter people take printouts; but even that qualifies as a WTF.


    No no no no, smarterer people print it out, place it on a wooden table, take a picture...

    <FONT face=Tahoma>And fax it out folded...



    </FONT>

    Compression. the polite way to send files.

    Fold it over 9 times and it should fit into 100 bytes....


    <FONT face=Tahoma>Yay! I've learned something new again... thanks!

    On a side note: I know most people are having a hard time folding a paper equally the 7th or 8th time... so, nice job folding it 9 times!



    </FONT>


  • Project Managers don't need much deep technical knowledge.

    Emphasis the "much".



  • @xrT said:

    @Some Idiot said:

    @xrT said:

    @Will said:
    @kuroshin said:
    @kolbe said:

    PM: How big is the file?
    Me: Oh, pretty small -- probably only around 50k or so.
    PM: Is it small enough so that I can write it down in my notepad?


    Smarter people take printouts; but even that qualifies as a WTF.


    No no no no, smarterer people print it out, place it on a wooden table, take a picture...

    <font face="Tahoma">And fax it out folded...



    </font>

    Compression. the polite way to send files.

    Fold it over 9 times and it should fit into 100 bytes....


    <font face="Tahoma">Yay! I've learned something new again... thanks!

    On a side note: I know most people are having a hard time folding a paper equally the 7th or 8th time... so, nice job folding it 9 times!



    </font>


    That's why they're managers.


  • @dhromed said:

    Project Managers don't need much deep technical knowledge.

    Emphasis the "much".


    Project Managers don't need [b]much[/b] deep technical knowledge.

    Will that do?



  • @JCDenton said:

    @dhromed said:
    Project Managers don't need much deep technical knowledge.

    Emphasis the "much".


    Project Managers don't need [b]much[/b] deep technical knowledge.

    Will that do?


    Clever.



  • @Cotillion said:

    @xrT said:
    @Some Idiot said:
    ...

    Compression. the polite way to send files.

    Fold it over 9 times and it should fit into 100 bytes....


    <FONT face=Tahoma>Yay! I've learned something new again... thanks!

    On a side note: I know most people are having a hard time folding a paper equally the 7th or 8th time... so, nice job folding it 9 times!



    </FONT>


    That's why they're managers.

    Quite so. Haven't you ever heard of zip -9 ?

    It does make it harder to fit in the fax machine, but if you feed it through the shredder first it fits quite easily and you get the added bonus of security.



  • It's lossy compression, the next level of compression technology!



  • @Noam Samuel said:

    It's lossy compression, the next level of compression technology!

    heh ~> rip -9


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