THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
-
@Ben L. said:
It merits the trouble to exhibit a description of a part of Glenogle's Grampian mountains, disjointed in the time of the generations past ; which event happen about the twilight, that the dread of the horrible sight seized the beholders with fear, ultera the comprehension of the individual, discernible to their sight. The pillars of fire rising from the parting of the rock, where there was a cement, the stones forcibly dashing one against another, that the melancholy sight was similar to a corner of mountain set wholly on fire, also overhearing such a loud noise of the stones break at juncture ; which vociferous might reach the ears of the people living at great distant. This place perceptible to view of the beholders that passes by.
@El_Heffe said:-- Shia LaBeouf
** Apparently this is still a real person and not a made up name.
From this passage I conclude that either Shia LaBeouf is using Google to translate his/her/its plagiarized text into English, or Shia LaBeouf is not a real person, but an exceptionally good Markov generator.
-
@HardwareGeek said:
@Ben L. said:
It merits the trouble to exhibit a description of a part of Glenogle's Grampian mountains, disjointed in the time of the generations past ; which event happen about the twilight, that the dread of the horrible sight seized the beholders with fear, ultera the comprehension of the individual, discernible to their sight. The pillars of fire rising from the parting of the rock, where there was a cement, the stones forcibly dashing one against another, that the melancholy sight was similar to a corner of mountain set wholly on fire, also overhearing such a loud noise of the stones break at juncture ; which vociferous might reach the ears of the people living at great distant. This place perceptible to view of the beholders that passes by.
@El_Heffe said:-- Shia LaBeouf
** Apparently this is still a real person and not a made up name.
From this passage I conclude that either Shia LaBeouf is using Google to translate his/her/its plagiarized text into English, or Shia LaBeouf is not a real person, but an exceptionally good Markov generator.
-
-
-
A spammer copied and pasted their spam from Microsoft Word.
-
Carjacking a car with a manual transmission. But you only know how to drive an automatic.
-
@Ben L. said:
BLAZING SPEED - perfect for internet gaming
I'm paying for 24Mbps. I need to call them and complain its going too fast!!
-
@Mike Hunt said:
@Ben L. said:
BLAZING SPEED - perfect for internet gaming
I'm paying for 24Mbps. I need to call them and complain its going too fast!!
-
@joe.edwards said:
@Mike Hunt said:
That gives me an idea for a business. I'll have a burger shop where we sell up to a double cheeseburger. Try your luck! You might just get bread. Or a slice of cheese. Or grilled cheese. Or an empty plate.@Ben L. said:
BLAZING SPEED - perfect for internet gaming
I'm paying for 24Mbps. I need to call them and complain its going too fast!!
-
@Ben L. said:
I'll have a burger shop where we sell up to a double cheeseburger. Try your luck! You might just get bread. Or a slice of cheese. Or grilled cheese. Or an empty plate.
If you're requesting from a bad server, those are entirely reasonable results.
-
@dhromed said:
You just get a slip of paper which says "503 Server Unavailable".@Ben L. said:
I'll have a burger shop where we sell up to a double cheeseburger. Try your luck! You might just get bread. Or a slice of cheese. Or grilled cheese. Or an empty plate.
If you're requesting from a bad server, those are entirely reasonable results.
-
@El_Heffe said:
You just get a slip of paper which says "503 Server Unavailable".
And then you look at them, like, "the fuck is this?" and they stare blankly into the distance.
-
Let's say you got in line for a popular English-speaking restaurant only to find out after you were at your table that none of the staff spoke English, instead electing to speak only in loud, grammatically incorrect Russian. You check the menu and it says in big letters "WE ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH HERE".
You eventually manage to order some food by pointing at the menu. When your order arrives, you find that it is already half eaten and the beef is undercooked to the point where you believe it died from the steak knife that is stabbed through it and the plate. When you try to explain to the waiter that this is not normally how food is presented in restaurants, he gets mad at you and threatens to deflower your wife.
That's basically Dota 2.
-
@Ben L. said:
Let's say you got in line for a popular English-speaking restaurant only to find out after you were at your table that none of the staff spoke English, instead electing to speak only in loud, grammatically incorrect Russian. You check the menu and it says in big letters "WE ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH HERE".
You eventually manage to order some food by pointing at the menu. When your order arrives, you find that it is already half eaten and the beef is undercooked to the point where you believe it died from the steak knife that is stabbed through it and the plate. When you try to explain to the waiter that this is not normally how food is presented in restaurants, he gets mad at you and threatens to deflower your wife.
That's basically
Dota 2.Most of the software produced today.
-
Meh. You're trying, Ben L.
But DOTA2 is more like a restaurant with a super-friendly staff, a decent chef-- but every time you go to eat there it's full of drunk idiots who throw their spaghetti sauce in your hair and shout racial slurs at anybody who comes in through the door and take a whiz in the lobby. The owner realizes that the terrible regulars drive away new customers, and they try to fix this by hiring even friendlier staff and an even better chef. But that just makes the regulars worse somehow.
The most interesting thing about DOTA2 (and to a lesser extent all other MOBA-type games) is that the game is actually decent, and can be quite fun if you're playing with people you know. But all the *other players* are awful, horrible, terrible people you don't want to spend even a second with. It's not like it's a bad game, it's like a good game that attracts only horrible people. (EVE Online happens to be similar.) Weird.
-
@blakeyrat said:
Meh. You're trying, Ben L.
But DOTA2 is more like a restaurant with a super-friendly staff, a decent chef-- but every time you go to eat there it's full of drunk idiots who throw their spaghetti sauce in your hair and shout racial slurs at anybody who comes in through the door and take a whiz in the lobby. The owner realizes that the terrible regulars drive away new customers, and they try to fix this by hiring even friendlier staff and an even better chef. But that just makes the regulars worse somehow.
The most interesting thing about DOTA2 (and to a lesser extent all other MOBA-type games) is that the game is actually decent, and can be quite fun if you're playing with people you know. But all the *other players* are awful, horrible, terrible people you don't want to spend even a second with. It's not like it's a bad game, it's like a good game that attracts only horrible people. (EVE Online happens to be similar.) Weird.
Well, that was my point, but you said it better.
-
-
OfficeMax bad idea of the day
Dad gets OfficeMax mail addressed 'Daughter Killed in Car Crash'
An off-and-on customer of OfficeMax, Mike Seay has gotten the office supply company's junk mail for years.
Address fail
-
@El_Heffe said:
Dad gets OfficeMax mail addressed 'Daughter Killed in Car Crash'
An off-and-on customer of OfficeMax, Mike Seay has gotten the office supply company's junk mail for years.
Address fail
I don't... even...Why is that even something they would enter into the system?
-
@Ben L. said:
he gets mad at you and threatens to deflower your wife.
TRWTF is that you're at a restaurant with your wife, but you haven't deflowered her yet. Twisted priorities.
-
@DrBen said:
@Ben L. said:
he gets mad at you and threatens to deflower your wife.
TRWTF is that you're at a restaurant with your wife, but you haven't deflowered her yet. Twisted priorities.
Actually, he's such a good "gardener" that he knows how to REflower her, just to deflower her again.
(And he does it in Go)
-
@DrBen said:
I should have mentioned that I'm 19 and I don't have a wife.@Ben L. said:
he gets mad at you and threatens to deflower your wife.
TRWTF is that you're at a restaurant with your wife, but you haven't deflowered her yet. Twisted priorities.
-
@Ben L. said:
@El_Heffe said:
@Some OfficeMax Lackey said:
I don't... even...
Dad gets OfficeMax mail addressed 'Daughter Killed in Car Crash'
An off-and-on customer of OfficeMax, Mike Seay has gotten the office supply company's junk mail for years.
Address fail
Why is that even something they would enter into the system?
OfficeMax didn't actually mail that. Almost nobody does their own mailing, it's all outsourced to various other companies. That particular information shouldn't be in anybody's mailing list database, but, considering how these companies buy/sell/rent mailing lists all over the place, combined with the enormous amount of information that everyone now collects, I guess it's not really that surprising."In a statement, OfficeMax said the mailing "is a result of a mailing list rented through a third-party provider" and offered its apologies to Seay. A spokeswoman told The Times on Sunday that the company was still gathering information about what had happened."
A few years ago I somewhow got on a mailing list that got passed around to several of these companies that do bulk mailing (Junk Mail For Hire). I started getting all sorts of ads in the mail for vacation/resort/condos/stuff. Huge thick glossy catalogs, many of them requiring several dollars in postage (not to mention the cost of printing them). Day after day they came in the mail, sometimes 5 or 6 in one day -- one day I got 10 of them. The mailman left them stacked up on my front porch because they wouldn't fit in the mail box.I tried calling a couple of the vacation resort companies and explaining to them that they were wasting an awful lot of money sending me all these huge expensive catalogs that I didn't want and never asked for, but they didn't really seem to care, probably because there wasn't much they could do about it. They had hired some company to mail out their catalogs.
-
@El_Heffe said:
Almost nobody does their own mailing, it's all outsourced to various other companies.
That would explain why we're still getting mail from the previous occupant after over 7 years of "Return to sender: No longer at this address". I guess we naively thought they were going back to someone who cared. I was about to say that we should just start chucking them in the bin but that would be an offence...
-
@RTapeLoadingError said:
I was about to say that we should just start chucking them in the bin but that would be an offence...
Don't chuck it in the bin, that's an offence.
Don't write "return to sender", that's pointless as it just gets ignored.
Instead, take the bulk letter, and drop it back into the "Outbound" slot. It'll be picked up, returned to the sorting facility, directed to your carrier, and re-delivered to you next week-- along with all of that week's junk.
Continue to put all junk mail back into the "Outbound slot". It will continue to pile up, and the post office will have to keep processing, carrying and delivering it. Eventually they'll clue in to the fact that the Outbound mail technically has "used" its postage already, and will either dispose of it (they are the only ones who can), or return to sender with "Invalid postage".
Also, take a picture of your mail box each day, and make an animated gif of the linear growth of spam mail.
-
@Lorne Kates said:
Don't write "return to sender", that's pointless as it just gets ignored.
I must point out that I've personally had success with this particular method. The fact that I've got sticky labels for this exact purpose (with *Delete as appropriate lines saying "Not known at this address" and "No Forwarding address - addressee left leaving rent arrears") I think may have helped in this regard.
-
Oh wow, the Windows 8 start screen isn't in this thread.
Quelle oversight.
-
@PJH said:
@Lorne Kates said:
In the U.S. success with "Return to Sender" seems to vary widely depending on your particular post office and sometimes even your particular mail carrier.Don't write "return to sender", that's pointless as it just gets ignored.
I must point out that I've personally had success with this particular method. The fact that I've got sticky labels for this exact purpose (with *Delete as appropriate lines saying "Not known at this address" and "No Forwarding address - addressee left leaving rent arrears") I think may have helped in this regard.
-
@dhromed said:
This is the OfficeMax bad ideas discussion. Microsoft Bad Ideas is 3 doors down on the left, next to the Monty Hall Room.Oh wow, the Windows 8 start screen isn't in this thread.
Quelle oversight.
-
-
@El_Heffe said:
@dhromed said:
This is the OfficeMax bad ideas discussion. Microsoft Bad Ideas is 3 doors down on the left, next to the Monty Hall Room.Oh wow, the Windows 8 start screen isn't in this thread.
Quelle oversight.
There's three doors in front of you, two of which contain copies of Windows 8. The other door contains a ghoti. Should you switch to Windows 3.1?
-
@mikeTheLiar said:
@El_Heffe said:
@dhromed said:
This is the OfficeMax bad ideas discussion. Microsoft Bad Ideas is 3 doors down on the left, next to the Monty Hall Room.Oh wow, the Windows 8 start screen isn't in this thread.
Quelle oversight.
There's three doors in front of you, two of which contain copies of Windows 8. The other door contains a ghoti. Should you switch to Windows 3.1?
I pick door D.
-
@Ben L. said:
I pick door D.
Oh I could pick 500 Roman Numeral Doors, and I could pick 500 Roman Numeral Doors more...
-
-
@Lorne Kates said:
Instead, take the bulk letter, and drop it back into the "Outbound" slot. It'll be picked up, returned to the sorting facility, directed to your carrier, and re-delivered to you next week-- along with all of that week's junk.
I could add a tally mark each time it returns. Imagine the excitement as you watch the count increase...wondering if they'll return or if this will be their last mission.
-
-
@Ben L. said:
@mikeTheLiar said:
There is no door D. Thirteen is unlucky even in hexadecimal.There's three doors in front of you, two of which contain copies of Windows 8. The other door contains a ghoti. Should you switch to Windows 3.1?
I pick door D.
-
@da Doctah said:
But ti's OK if you are Roman.@Ben L. said:
@mikeTheLiar said:
There is no door D. Thirteen is unlucky even in hexadecimal.There's three doors in front of you, two of which contain copies of Windows 8. The other door contains a ghoti. Should you switch to Windows 3.1?
I pick door D.
-
Apparently my dwarves have discovered the secret of making roasts out of four minced non-minceable non-roastable ingredients.
"Yes, I'll take the roasted minced flour with some roasted minced flour and roasted minced flour, and some roasted minced flour on the side."
-
@Ben L. said:
Apparently my dwarves have discovered the secret of making roasts out of four minced non-minceable non-roastable ingredients.
This makes less sense than SSDS."Yes, I'll take the roasted minced flour with some roasted minced flour and roasted minced flour, and some roasted minced flour on the side."
-
@Ben L. said:
Apparently my dwarves have discovered the secret of making roasts out of four minced non-minceable non-roastable ingredients.
You can most definitely roast flour, with heat and/or insults, as preference dictates.
-
@too_many_usernames said:
oh crap. I missed the Comedy Central Roast of The Pillsbury Doughboy.@Ben L. said:
Apparently my dwarves have discovered the secret of making roasts out of four minced non-minceable non-roastable ingredients.
You can most definitely roast flour, with heat and/or insults, as preference dictates.
-
These classes meet in adjacent rooms at the same time. The CS101 professor is talking at 150dB about how Microsoft Word has a spellcheck function.
-
@Ben L. said:
These classes meet in adjacent rooms at the same time.
Why does your school have the first one? The kinds of things there I would think you could assume a student would know; or if you want to be extra accommodating would be things that some kind of learning center tutoring would be directed at rather than have a course.
-
@Ben L. said:
Actually, they meet at overlapping times. TRWTF is that grad classes start and end fifteen minutes later than normal classes.
These classes meet in adjacent rooms at the same time.
-
@da Doctah said:
It's probably because the professor would need time travel powers to get to the CS790 class on time, since their previous class ends at 5:15, which is 15 minutes after the CS101 class starts.@Ben L. said:
Actually, they meet at overlapping times. TRWTF is that grad classes start and end fifteen minutes later than normal classes.
These classes meet in adjacent rooms at the same time.
-
The rooms, we are told, are adjacent, so it shouldn't take fifteen minutes to get there. Most of the time is spent in performing a sex and race change from Paul McNally to Christine Cheng.
-
@da Doctah said:
The rooms, we are told, are adjacent, so it shouldn't take fifteen minutes to get there. Most of the time is spent in performing a sex and race change from Paul McNally to Christine Cheng.
It should take more than -45 minutes to walk out of a doorway, a little down a hall, and then into another.
-
Tip of the hipster spear: Artisanal toast. Though the story reads like a William Gibson novel, so that's kinda cool.
-
Amazon.com
