"We are a combination of Facebook + Blogger + Etsy + PayPal"



  • I'm pretty happy at my current employer. That's not to say I'd never leave, but I see no reason to for the foreseeable future. That said, I still have a LinkedIn account from my job-search days. I like the idea of keeping in touch with people from WTFCSES, even if only for references or forwarding on job opening emails to the half dozen or so coworkers who were actively looking for new work alongside me. Therefore I edited my profile in a couple places so it explicitly says "Not looking for new career opportunities."

    On Friday I got this thing. I don't think I'll be forwarding it on to anybody.

    Hi ArrivingRaptor,

    I came across your profile today and was really impressed with your background and experience! I am very interested in discussing your technical skill in more detail when you have time for a brief call.

    We have an opportunity here at ProjectUplift that I feel you might find very attractive. ProjectUplift is currently operating in stealth mode, but we do want to go live this year and just hit our highest revenue week under our beta product! We are a combination of Facebook + Blogger + Etsy + PayPal and have already set ourselves up to reach users on a global scale.

    Let me know if you have a brief moment to chat and the best number to reach you!

    https://www.box.com/s/irzr9c63ri1r0n5pluer

    Best,

    Meghan Puyear
    Sr. Recruiter
    ProjectUplift

    www.projectuplift.com

    This was for an opening at a start-up in San Diego. I live in Ohio.

    Also, that box.com links to a PDF of their business plan. It's all kinds of special, including this amazing piece of marketing word-salad: "Through crowd-sourced role building, mini-companies are seamlessly and automatically formed that leverage each person's skill to drive a unified sale of a certain knowledge, service, or product."



  • I love MBA talk. On the other hand, you have to give it a thought, I mean, San Diego looks like a nice place to live, and has lots of bridges to build your home under.



  • @ProjectUplift Business Plan said:

    According to slashdot...

    OK, so that was probably from a summary, but the fact that they found slashdot to be a more reputable source than the actual source...Alternatively, they have no clue about slashdot, or are quoting a comment. I'm not sure which would speak worse for them, but I LOL'd



  • @ArrivingLizard said:

    Filed under: What's the over/under for this company folding within the year?

    Really shitty start-ups don't fold anymore; they're just acquired by Google or Amazon.

    I have my suspicions--but have not yet been able to prove--that Larry Page and Jeff Bezos own an isolated island where they release and then hunt the most dangerous game: the incomprehensible, buzzword-laden prospectus.



  • @boomzilla said:

    @ProjectUplift Business Plan said:
    According to slashdot...

    OK, so that was probably from a summary, but the fact that they found slashdot to be a more reputable source than the actual source...Alternatively, they have no clue about slashdot, or are quoting a comment. I'm not sure which would speak worse for them, but I LOL'd

    I liked this bit: 

    @ProjectUplift Business Plan said:

    Even though the prevailing belief is that “everyone is on Facebook,” the reality is that the social network game is far from over.

    Yeah, right.  If google can't even barely make a dent in it, what are these clowns' chances like?




  • Not Web 2.0 enough. They should be saying Tumblr instead of Blogger.



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    Not Web 2.0 enough. They should be saying Tumblr instead of Blogger.

    We are a combination of USENET + ARPANET + AltaVista + InfoSeek



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Filed under: Why the fuck else would Google buy meebo?

    Google Exec: "We're running out of precision in this floating point number where we store our earnings. How can we get it down to a reasonable level?"


    Google Exec 2: "Let's buy some shit"



  • @Ben L. said:

    We are a combination of USENET + ARPANET + AltaVista + InfoSeek

    We are a combination of Friendster + Digg + Google Buzz + Yahoo! PayDirect



  • I'd bet serious money that this is a scam. The marketing-speak is so nonspecific that it says essentially nothing. Anyone responding is likely to find that there are upfront fees payable and (after a long delay) no job at the end of the process - because there's no company doing any actual recruiting.



  • @ArrivingRaptor said:

    @Ben L. said:
    We are a combination of USENET + ARPANET + AltaVista + InfoSeek

    We are a combination of Friendster + Digg + Google Buzz + Yahoo! PayDirect

    We are a combination of ICanHazCheezburger + goatse.cx

     



  • @da Doctah said:

    We are a combination of ICanHazCheezburger + goatse.cx

    Unfortunately, that's a valid theoretical combination: A blog that shows a different shock image everyday until you have to wonder who is stoic enough to maintain it.



  •  We're a combination of Dark Star BBS + Fido Net + Legend of Red Dragon + Check-By-Mail



  • @Ben L. said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    Filed under: Why the fuck else would Google buy meebo?

    Google Exec: "We're running out of precision in this floating point number where we store our earnings. How can we get it down to a reasonable level?"


    Google Exec 2: "Let's buy some shit"

    They just need to spend their Fake Internet Monies (AKA US Dollars) before they become even more worthless.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

     We're a combination of Dark Star BBS + Fido Net + Legend of Red Dragon + Check-By-Mail

    We're a combination of Tripod + alt.sex.fetish.robots + Anything that Google's ever done except Search, Ads and Gmail + That feeling you get when you put a new Q-tip into your ear canal.



  • We're a combination of the Russian Revolution + Poland circa 1939 + China during the Opium Wars + Anything France has ever done except Hugo, Dumas, Galois and Bastiat + the Eurozone.



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    @da Doctah said:
    We are a combination of ICanHazCheezburger + goatse.cx

    Unfortunately, that's a valid theoretical combination: A blog that shows a different shock image everyday until you have to wonder who is stoic enough to maintain it.

    You mean like this?





  • People, please, stop before a new meme is born... a very autistic one. Before I leave: MySpace + Geocities + Yahoo! + QRCodes Payments



  • @da Doctah said:

    @ArrivingRaptor said:

    @Ben L. said:
    We are a combination of USENET + ARPANET + AltaVista + InfoSeek

    We are a combination of Friendster + Digg + Google Buzz + Yahoo! PayDirect

    We are a combination of ICanHazCheezburger + goatse.cx

     

    And we have pie charts and a logo!



  • @SamC said:

     

    Hey, you photoshopped out the hands.



  • @ubersoldat said:

    People, please, stop before a new meme is born
     

    This meme is a combination of YoDawg + In Soviet Russia + ObXKCD +  Buzzword Bingo



  • @ArrivingRaptor said:

    "Through crowd-sourced role building, mini-companies are seamlessly and automatically formed that leverage each person's skill to drive a unified sale of a certain knowledge, service, or product."

    Wow. 4 entries from the Dack.com web bullshit generator. Impressive.



  • @Nexzus said:

    Wow. 4 entries from the Dack.com web bullshit generator. Impressive.

    We grow open-source solutions in order to transition 24/365 users and seize interactive web services via meshing B2C portals.



  • @dhromed said:

    @SamC said:

     

    Hey, you photoshopped out the hands.

    I see what you did there.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @ubersoldat said:

    People, please, stop before a new meme is born
     

    This meme is a combination of YoDawg + In Soviet Russia + ObXKCD +  Buzzword Bingo

    The local equivalent of which would be a combination of the President's daughter + wooden table + Irish girl + no laughing matter.

     



  • @da Doctah said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    @ubersoldat said:

    People, please, stop before a new meme is born
     

    This meme is a combination of YoDawg + In Soviet Russia + ObXKCD +  Buzzword Bingo

    The local equivalent of which would be a combination of the President's daughter + wooden table + Irish girl + no laughing matter.

     

     

    MEME_NOT_FOUND

     



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    transition 24/365 users

    You have 0.065753424657534246575342465753425 users?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @MiffTheFox said:
    transition 24/365 users
    You have 0.065753424657534246575342465753425 users?
    Beware! Those are integers in that division; you need to round the result to an (accurate) integer.



  • @dkf said:

    @RTapeLoadingError said:
    @MiffTheFox said:
    transition 24/365 users
    You have 0.065753424657534246575342465753425 users?
    Beware! Those are integers in that division; you need to round the result to an (accurate) integer.
     

    9



  • @SamC said:

     

    What... happened to my post?



  • @SamC said:

    What... happened to my post?

     

    xkcd was too mainstream.

     



  • @spamcourt said:

    @SamC said:

    What... happened to my post?

     

    xkcd was too mainstream.

    I was listening to Rosie before it was cool to listen to Rosie.



  • @SamC said:

    What... happened to my post?

    A goblin has taken up residence in Community Server. He's a smart goblin, though, because he realizes xkcd is tripe. And he's a Noble Goblin, because he saves people the suffering of xkcd by swapping out any xkcd comics with photos of Rosie O'Donnell.



  • If you could really combine all those things, think of the quarterly losses you could show. You'd never have to pay taxes again.


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