Your Upwork
-
It's just funny some of the things you can find on these sort of places. You've got the "build a facebook clone", the "I can't do my homework" and some outright illegal/immoral stuff. Some examples:
https://www.upwork.com/job/Nike-Code-Generator_~017bb4d420a7cacb44/
I'm looking for someone to create a code generator for me.
One of the Nike discount codes that available for the Nike.com EU region is...
100IDXXXXXXXXX
I need the program to search through possible code combinations, testing them on Nike.com checkout. Then extracting the successful codes to a txt. file or something similar. I believe these codes can only be applied to your basket when signed into your account.
Right. Let's continue with some homework:
https://www.upwork.com/job/Rectangle-Finding-Algorithm_~019bc4b2c757aafc37/
I need to implement the following rectangle-finding algorithm
This one doesn't even care:
https://www.upwork.com/job/DESI_~016166f95a47aeedb1/
PLES Help me
Look, a soon-to-be-hacker:
https://www.upwork.com/job/Purchasing-Large-Amount-Hotmail-Accounts_~016fcad1d3d1a5819e/
I'm looking to purchase a large amount of VERIFIED hotmail accounts at least 20,000. If there is anyone who can achieve this goal please contact me.
And of course, our clone builder:
We would like to get Udemy type of website where users can access online training videos, register for onsite classes, look for calendar for classes, look for open jobs and apply for open jobs.
Man, US$100 sure will give you great results:
Need one desktop application for School (attendance, results) teacher & other staff records. when child not come on school than automatically send message on parents cell ph number. stored all record of school. like The Educators School software
So, if you find any interesting posting like those, please share so we can all laugh/cry.
-
And of course, our clone builder:
We would like to get Udemy type of website where users can access online training videos, register for onsite classes, look for calendar for classes, look for open jobs and apply for open jobs.
Epic level of delusion.
Great find.
-
Proposals: 1
LOL
-
"Yes, I build you great softwares for good price. Yes very good sir! Very competent, I guarantee will work. PFA proposal and we start tomorrow ok?"
-
-
We would like to get Udemy type of website where users can access online training videos, register for onsite classes, look for calendar for classes, look for open jobs and apply for open jobs.
When you consider that they want to build a clone of an established portal, it makes more sense that they have no business sense, and the fact that they want to pay $100 for a 6-7 figure project (at minimum) becomes less egregious.
Need one desktop application for School (attendance, results) teacher & other staff records. when child not come on school than automatically send message on parents cell ph number. stored all record of school. like The Educators School software
They'd blow through the $100 in an hour or two of requirements gathering for just the first feature.
-
For a laugh sometimes I review the offerings over on Freelancer.com - people who want enterprise level applications built using what I would normally consider the coffee budget on a proper project...
-
Share the most funny/outrageous ones.
-
17 posts were split to a new topic: There is no C# on Linux - or is there?
-
Some people really have no concept of what quality work is worth:
https://www.upwork.com/job/PSD-HTML-page_~01f08542fd1296ba07/
Edit: Seems this guy is a little more off his rocker:
https://www.upwork.com/job/Easy-PSD-HTML-CSS-job-screens-for-mobile_~0115f4790a6108559a/
-
Edit: Seems this guy is a little more off his rocker:
Ehhh... he's not asking for a conversion script, he's asking for that attachment converted. $20 should probably get him an HTML document with a giant embedded
<img>
, I think.
-
Ehhh... he's not asking for a conversion script, he's asking for that attachment converted. $20 should probably get him an HTML document with a giant embedded <img>, I think.
1 page could be doable, as you describe, but 2? Not to mention that he wants them to be mobile pages. I mean, he should be offering at least $50 for that. :P
-
$20 should probably get him an HTML document
with a giant embedded <img>generated by pasting the image into Word and saving it, I think.
-
I wonder if I could break Upwork with something like:
- I want {some task worth a lot of money}
- But if you outsource it to someone else, and pay them 1.5x the rate, I will pay you 2x the rate
- The outsourced person may also outsource it, for the same terms as above
- All outsourcing companies must still provide a portion of the work, equal to their share of the overall rate
- The rate is currently $1
I basically want every single Upwork person working on this project, endlessly, constantly passing off to more and more people to drive up the rate.
-
Please post the link once you make your posting.
-
@Lorne_Kates said:
I wonder if I could break Upwork with something like:
I want {some task worth a lot of money}
But if you outsource it to someone else, and pay them 1.5x the rate, I will pay you 2x the rate
The outsourced person may also outsource it, for the same terms as above
All outsourcing companies must still provide a portion of the work, equal to their share of the overall rate
The rate is currently $1I have a weird feeling that's illegal wherever both you and Upwork is located.
-
I have a weird feeling that's illegal wherever both you and Upwork is located.
But it isn't a pyramid scheme, since I'm not asking for money to flow up. I'm promising to send money down, but in a way that will never actually resolve. Sort of a reverse imaginary sewage dump for the express purpose for fucking up a stupid system.
-
It still sounds sketchy. Maybe you could find some way to hire someone to actually do the thing you described...
-
@Lorne_Kates said:
I'm promising to send money down
Maybe you need to start a kickstarter or something to get this funded?
-
IndieGoGo seems more useful here.
-
Does it matter? If we just could give the guy some money ...
-
It still sounds sketchy. Maybe you could find some way to hire someone to actually do the thing you described...
Why stop there? Might as well hire someone to find some way to hire someone to actually do the thing described...
-
That's why I suggested IndieGoGo, they closed down Lorne's 'fuck you give me money' campaign IIRC
-
Why hasn't anybody done this before ... just start a campaign 'Fuck you give me money!'. Who knows what that will bring ...
-
That's the point, Lorne did and they closed it.
-
I'm pretty sure those terms fuck everyone over :)
You'd be on the hook for $2, of which $1.50 goes from person A to person B.Person B promises person C $2.25, and receives $3 from person A, who only got $0.50 out of the deal originally.
-
-
I'm a barrier to lame jokes. I'm not having fun so I don't see why anyone else should either.
-
What's upwork?
-
-
-
Do we need a rabbit to come in and ask a question about it while chewing on a carrot?
-
@anotherusername said:
$20 should probably get him an HTML document
with a giant embedded <img>generated by pasting the image into Word and saving it, I think.Sure, that sounds like a perfectly valid way to get an HTML document with a giant embedded
<img>
(assuming you saved from Word as HTML, of course).Not the method that I'd use, because it's really not that much faster than just writing the HTML by hand, but perfectly valid nonetheless.
-
Sure, that sounds like a perfectly valid way to get an HTML document with a giant embedded <img> (assuming you saved from Word as HTML, of course).
You have not tried that, I take it. Here's the code of a Word document with a single screenshot CTRL+V-ed into it and exported to HTML.
Why hasn't anybody done this before ... just start a campaign 'Fuck you give me money!'. Who knows what that will bring ...
You don't remember the potato salad guy?
Goldfish-memory?
Silly Arantor and Lorne...
Everyone knows Patreon is for "fuck you give me money" campaigns!
A 40 KB file? Oh yeah, that takes...
starts Network Analyzer, clicks Raw...
0.07 seconds to download!
Sure, you could probably write the HTML file by hand at under 400 bytes, but your users aren't going to be able to tell that there's any difference regardless.
Goldfish-memory?
Do we have to explain satire again?
Look, it is simple: you obviously have a bad day because your cat puked or whatever but no need to come and shit over the forum and the people here.
(yes, pastebin, because it would actually exceed Discourse's post length limit).
I don't think it would exceed https://gist.github.com/'s length limit. I hate pastebin...
Silly Arantor and Lorne...
Everyone knows Patreon is for "fuck you give me money" campaigns!
I thought that was just an un-advertised side business for Ashley Madison.
@Arantor said:
That's the point, Lorne did and they closed it.
Are you -ing or just a to lame jokes?
They closed it. Twice.
https://what.thedailywtf.com/t/fsck-you-give-me-money/50684
I might have to try IndiGoGo instead. brb.
I know that feel bro.
[quote="http://pastebin.com/2AguRw19 (line 86)"]
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
[/quote]That explains a lot.
Here's the code of a Word document with a single screenshot CTRL+V-ed into it and exported to HTML.
[quote="http://pastebin.com/2AguRw19 (lines 779-780)"]
<img width=605 height=313
src="Doc1_files/image002.jpg" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_1">
[/quote]Screenshot. JPEG. Word is TR
That's why I suggested IndieGoGo, they closed down Lorne's 'fuck you give me money' campaign IIRC
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/giant-unicorn-lamp#/
who said that indiegogo never has anything wonderful?
I thought it already came out?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2YdLffrUeY
Er, hate to admit that I actually tried pasting an image into Word and save for a test..
Depending on options set on save (I tried Save as HTML (Filtered), the end result is not quite that bad.
62 lines of legible HTML.
If only they were paying by LoC, then Word would indeed be a most excellent solution.
If you say "One document with a giant embedded image", I was hoping to see a data-URI in there