I HATE frontend contractors
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As part of pushing boss's "golden goose" project forward, he wants to expand the team working on it. Of course, it would be too much to hope for a real team. Instead, what I'll get is contractors. So now I have to waste my time setting up people who will be gone in a month. Like I have no other obligations on my plate.
But whatever, he'll at least hire some competent people, who can help out, right?
Nope.
Candidate no 1: Junior I mentioned in the status thread (who uses tabs). If we were making a real team, maybe. But for a contractor? I suggested he finds someone with a bit more experience.
Therein comes candidate no 2.
Boss: Cartman you've got to see this, she's amazing. This is her home page (pastes link 1) and some of her work (pastes link 2)
Link 1: http://tinyurl.com/jcovnny
Link 2: http://tinyurl.com/jhc8loxMe: Oh cool, let's see some professionalism for a change........ oh.
Boss: So I was thinking of having her do our UX and then...
Me: Boss, you do realize the kind of developer we need? Someone to do an industrial-grade UX design of an admin interface and frontend development, using bootstrap and twig templates. Not another fucking artiste specialized in making flashy landing pages.
Boss: Well, OK, she's not a programmer, but I was thinking she can do this UX thing, and then...
Me: BUT THIS IS A TERRIBLE UX. See that second site? Can you figure out what you need to do to change the page? And all these animations, OMG! Like a child discovered CSS3 animate and wanted to show off to mommy. Complete tasteless crap. And the code is a bunch of copy-pasta too.
Boss: Look she comes highly recommended. We can give her a test, see how she does, what's wrong with that?
("we" meaning "me wasting more time")
Me: Look, if it's between her and the first guy, I'd rather take the junior.
Boss: Deal! I'm calling him right now!
Me: Wait- uh-..... shit.
So now I have to deal with this joker.
More ranting to follow.
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Me: Look, if it's between her and the first guy, I'd rather take the junior.
Boss: Deal! I'm calling him right now!
Me: Wait- uh-..... shit.
I think your boss played you big time. Hopefully the junior doesn't prove too bad...
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I think your boss played you big time. Hopefully the junior doesn't prove too bad...
SPOILER ALERT
don't hold your breath
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Also, resizing the window causes it to load
ALLagain?
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Also, resizing the window causes ti to load ALL again?
You thought Discourse is slow? Try to scroll through her image gallery.
The most amazing thing is, she's pimping this out as a reference to the quality of her work.
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So many icons and none of them is the servercooties-icon?
What is wrong with you?Also: @cartman82 you have my sympathy! Does the junior also have a "beautiful" site to marvel at?
Filed Under: We need references
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So many icons and none of them is the servercooties-icon?
What is wrong with you?Work computer. Also, still haven't gotten the extension to store(s), didn't have the time. Fixing of contentious code planned for weekend.
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The first link does not allow scrolling with the mouse wheel. It's impossible. You have to manually click and drag the scroll bar...
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WOMM
<descriptive
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No repro here (Chrome on Windows). The scroll wheel works as normal for me.
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Google Chrome Version 47.0.2526.73 (Official Build) m (64-bit) on Windows 10
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I'm using 47.0.2526.73 m on Windows 8.1, both 64-bit.
Edit: Allowing scripts to run slows down the scrolling with a stupid animation, but it still works.
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Scroll bar on right works, middle mouse button works, clicking and dragging to select text works to scroll the page too, but just scrolling my mouse wheel normally has ZERO effect. No errors in the JS console. Tried disabling ad blocking. I have no idea why it doesn't work. Oh well, one more reason to never hire that person.
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A little taste of Polo (let's call him that) the junior.
Me: So, I was thinking you can set up the project today and explore it a bit tomorrow, so we can get going next Monday
Polo: Oh? I thought we were starting mid December?
...
Boss: This guy is an idiot
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I'd call him "Friday'. As in the day when you realize he cocked the whole thing up, and there's a demo scheduled for Monday.
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I dunno. In this company, "early December" is the start of the month through the first full week, which totally includes next Monday.
Late December has similar rules - last full week through the end of the month. This means mid December is only the 13th to the 19th this year.
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Me: Anyway, to set up the project, you will need a *nix environment.
Polo: Ummm... I already have Windows. Will it support linux?
Me: Sigh....
Turns out, the guy's never heard about VM-s and virtualbox. Also has zero experience with *nix. Once again, that's OK if you're just starting as a junior, but you can't seriously try to charge money as a contractor with that weak ass shit.
Anyway, since he was sick yesterday and couldn't work, I decide the fastest way to get him started would be to set up an Ubuntu VM on my PC, with the project fully configured, and just send him that.
Queue 3 more of my hours down the drain. But whatever, now it's done. I give him the download link and send him off to get it set up. An hour later, he skypes back.
Polo: Umm, I only have 2GB of RAM on my laptop. Will that be a problem for the VM?
YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
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You should refer him to @ben_lubar, I hear he's an expert in downloading ram on his home internet connection.
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Scroll with mouse-pad in there is weird too! It accelerates to the end of the page
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Me: Anyway, to set up the project, you will need a *nix environment.
How do you say "*nix" in a conversation?Also, why bother with the VM? Make a partition, do a normal installation and there should be no problems with 2GB RAM.
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It is very pretty but people keep forgetting that Amazon and Google got it right and Amazon is still shit.
I don't think your boss doesn't quite understand what you use juniors for. My understanding was you molded them to your needs for the long term future of the company or have I missed something.
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I don't think your boss doesn't quite understand what you use juniors for. My understanding was you
molded them to your needs for the long term future of the companyused them as your coffeebitchCOMPLAIN or have I missed something.FTFY
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Also, why bother with the VM? Make a partition, do a normal installation and there should be no problems with 2GB RAM.
Sure, let me waste more of my time dealing with this guy. I told him that was an option. Otherwise, he can add more RAM or work with 1GB VM.
How do you say "*nix" in a conversation?
We chatted.
If I had to, I'd do it like this: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/nix
Please tell me the boss said that right in front of him.
Nope, in our own chat.
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I don't think your boss doesn't quite understand what you use juniors for. My understanding was you molded them to your needs for the long term future of the company or have I missed something.
That's how it's supposed to work.
It's just very hard to get a company to invest that kind of time into someone who'll just leave once that get that magical 2 years of experience.
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Me: BUT THIS IS A TERRIBLE UX. See that second site? Can you figure out what you need to do to change the page?
... you're supposed to be able to change the page?
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... you're supposed to be able to change the page?
There are TWO ways to change the page.
TIME YOURSELF HOW LONG IT TAKES YOU TO FIND BOTH!
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If I had to, I'd do it like this: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/nix
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I didn't have the patience to find either. I clicked around like a spaz for awhile.
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The hamburger was fairly easy to see/find. Though perhaps only because I was specifically looking for The Way To Change The Page.
I didn't find the other. But the "about me" and album sections are pretty epically fail as well...
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What's the point of contractors when you can outsource to China/India?
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What's the point of contractors when you can outsource to China/India?
We are trying to do that on a different front, but that's not going much better either.
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Oursourcing companies are more interested in knowing if you can speak english than coding, so I can imagine how that ends.
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There are TWO ways to change the page.
Jesus, a button that only shows up when you hover over it?
What madness is this?
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I know how long it takes to find the close tab button.
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I guess she figured guys would put their mouse right there naturally, anyway?
(Yes, I realize it's just disco-bad levels of color contrast, but facts
jokes)
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send more printscreens, my firewall wont let me see this :-(
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You lost a good designer, you could have jelly potato every day just by scrolling:
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@DogsB said:
I don't think your boss doesn't quite understand what you use juniors for. My understanding was you
molded them to your needs for the long term future of the companyused them as your coffeebitchCOMPLAIN or have I missed something.FTFY
I am a junior programmer and I find this offensive.
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I didn't have the patience to find either. I clicked around like a spaz for awhile.
Aww, you've missed out the most pretentious About Me page I've ever seen.
In this section, [redacted] will refer to herself in the third person.
This will allow [redacted] to endlessly brag about herself as an important and talented photographer with more than a decade( almost two) of professional experience, numerous achievements in the field of fashion and advertising photography ,collaboration with major advertising agencies, production and publishing houses and all those who use photography as the medium to share their visions with the world.
Because it will appear as if someone else wrote this about her, [redacted] can then without shame and humbleness write about her spiritual approach to the subject, her profound eye for composition, artistic ability to elicit emotions, and absolute devotion to the power of beauty and shapes.
Although she holds a BA degree in Graphic Design and Advertising her passion towards photography as well as her obvious natural talent has turned her childhood hobby in to a profession.
[redacted] was born in [redacted] in [redacted] but since [redacted] the world has been her playground.
To end, [redacted] will close this section by throwing in a philosophical quote, which will not only reflect her deep thoughts but also reveal her erudition and boundless sophistication:
“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
Aristotle
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outsource to China/India
If it was a small one-time product yes. Otherwise, that is HORRIBLE idea. You need them in-house, or you cannot shout at them. It will be more expensive, your outsourcing company changes their engineers like napkins and you end up dealing with ghosts that you are not their boss.
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There are TWO ways to change the page.
TIME YOURSELF HOW LONG IT TAKES YOU TO FIND BOTH!
I found one fairly quickly (considering the shittiness of the site), but that second one:
?I got it by accident while randomly clicking around. I can just about see it now I know it's there
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[Redacted] was born in [redacted] in [redacted] but since [redacted] the world has been her playground.
Did you miss one redacted statement here?
Edit: Redacted
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Fix'd.Redacted.I suppose @cartman82 doesn't want Google to pick up on her given the tinyurl links, so.
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I suppose @cartman82 doesn't want Google to pick up on her given the tinyurl links, so.
Yeah, let's not make this into a Siren badge, as it's a bit too close to home.
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Aww, we'd love to have a nice flamewar with her. Given that About Me, she could probably outdo the fox.
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Aww, we'd love to have a nice flamewar with her. Given that About Me, she could probably outdo the fox.
Actually, I haven't even read it initially, I was focused on the coding aspect of the website.
Wow. Just wow.
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Also, just curious - is "scrolling pages as if they were going through mud" like... a hot thing now? Because that first website is messing with my brain.
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Actually, I haven't even read it initially, I was focused on the coding aspect of the website.
Wow. Just wow.
She seems like a peach of a person huh? Except more like something that forcibly rhymes with peach...
