Kitchen floor banana resumé wtf



  • http://home.wildit.net.au/hellohelloben/BG4.HTML


    Own up - which one of you did this?



  •  Surely one of us would have used a wooden table, not the floor?



  • I don't know what made me cringe the most:

    • 3900 x 2600 images
    • This quote from the last page (capitalisation and spelling left intact) "i CAN ONLY WORK FOR PROPER BUISNESSES IN REAL BUILDINGS. I DON'T CARE IF YOU WORK FROM HOME I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE IN YOUR HOUSE I ONLY WORK FOR REAL BUISNESSES IN REAL OFFICE BUISSNESS BUILDINGS SORRY. I ALSO WILL WEAR A SUIT IF THATS OKAY."
    • The home page (my eyes, goggles etc)

    More choice quotes from the home page:

    • "Here is the game I had to make for my parents / the police and the Zoo. "Fruit Mystery". It cost me one thousand dollars to make."
    • "After you've read my pictures, now you're interested in hiring me for consultancy / photographer(weddings, party-dj/funereals, etc.) / web desing. Well click here please for further details."

    I have been thinking a bit more about this site and I am coming to the conclusion that this is a spoof. His tertiary education is at Deakin which is a quality school. But that level of schooling doesn't gell with the bad grammar and spelling. My guess is that someone found a copy of poor Brett's resume lying around somewhere and decided to have a lend of him. The end result being this website. Thats the only rational explanation I can think of, unless you start going down the path of the poor guy flipping out after his education, or suffering some other sort of trauma.



  • @OzPeter said:

    I have been thinking a bit more about this site and I am coming to the conclusion that this is a spoof. His tertiary education is at Deakin which is a quality school. But that level of schooling doesn't gell with the bad grammar and spelling. My guess is that someone found a copy of poor Brett's resume lying around somewhere and decided to have a lend of him. The end result being this website. Thats the only rational explanation I can think of, unless you start going down the path of the poor guy flipping out after his education, or suffering some other sort of trauma.

     

     

    I have to agree, especially after seeing the "dogs" and "what I like" sections, which are completely off-the-wall insane.



  •  

    @OzPeter said:

    I don't know what made me cringe the most

    I hope you didn't miss out on the incredibly philosophic quotes in the ALT text of the last three pages then... Yup, definately what I'd spice up my resume with...



  • @OzPeter said:

    • This quote from the last page (capitalisation and spelling left intact) "i CAN ONLY WORK FOR PROPER BUISNESSES IN REAL BUILDINGS. I DON'T CARE IF YOU WORK FROM HOME I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE IN YOUR HOUSE I ONLY WORK FOR REAL BUISNESSES IN REAL OFFICE BUISSNESS BUILDINGS SORRY. I ALSO WILL WEAR A SUIT IF THATS OKAY."
    • The home page (my eyes, goggles etc)

    More choice quotes from the home page:

     

    • "Here is the game I had to make for my parents / the police and the Zoo. "Fruit Mystery". It cost me one thousand dollars to make."
    • "After you've read my pictures, now you're interested in hiring me for consultancy / photographer(weddings, party-dj/funereals, etc.) / web desing. Well click here please for further details."

     

     

    I always wondered what JeffK was doing nowerdays.

     



  • I need to hire this man, immediately. I will even rent a room so I have a proper office and then come up with some kind of business plan. I will even wear a suit if that's okay because I do need to hire this man.



  • @PSWorx said:

    I hope you didn't miss out on the incredibly philosophic quotes in the ALT text of the last three pages then... Yup, definately what I'd spice up my resume with...
     

    At least with the last one I think he's misquoting Joseph Heller - "Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?"

    Still, you just can't tell.  That's some catch, that Catch 22. 



  • That game is indescribably awesome.



  •  Has anyone else clicked the "CLICK <font style="background-color: rgb(217, 38, 186);" color="#00ff00" size="5">HERE</font> TO RETURN TO TOP" link at the bottom of the page?

    Tho I know it's not nearly the bigest/craziest shit in the page, it just caught my attention.-



  • @Cap'n Steve said:

    That game is indescribably awesome.
     

    I have to second that.

    Now, sorry for the double post -tho, who cares-, but I have to honestly say, if I ever want to piss off some friend of mine I'll make a fake site like this for him, distorting partially true events and just plainly making stuff up to make him look like an idiot, aah, many, many laughs, feed the animals don't, zoo picker steeve is coming for you!



  •  Ok, I see something some self-called photographer taking pictures of his resume lying on the floor, along with some bananas.

    But upside-down???

    Priceless.



  • i just lost 30 minutes of my life clicking through this homepage abomination thing ... 

    i want them back ... please ... 



  • @ZippoLag said:

    zoo picker steeve is coming for you!

    Zoo picker. I like that.



  • <font size="4">PErhaps you need photographs taken of fruits for your new web page? I TAKE THEM OF YOU! </font>

    [url]http://home.wildit.net.au/hellohelloben/bg3.html[/url]

    Awesome.



  • TRWTF is that this page is a lot closer to validation than most websites.

    3 errors as opposed to:

    134 errors at myspace.com

    176 errors at microsoft.com

     34 errors at yahoo.com

    http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.wildit.net.au%2Fhellohelloben%2FBG4.HTML&charset=(detect+automatically)&doctype=Inline&group=0



  • @blkballoon925 said:

    TRWTF is that this page is a lot closer to validation than most websites.
    Wow! Clearly that means this site is much better!



  •  http://home.wildit.net.au/hellohelloben/sorrysteve.html

    I really don't think I want to know why Steve left the zoo, or why this guy was even at the zoo. Perhaps research for his ingenious game.


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