On Frogs, Land, and Government
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@FrostCat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
(the preview image has nothing to do with the post.)
http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2016/06/this-is-how-all-bureaucrats-should-be-answered.phpNot sure what's funny about that? Other than people being a dick?
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not sure what's funny about that? Other than people being a dick?
It was the response from the landowner back to those dicks that was funny, though I think he missed an opportunity:
Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18″ handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of BPA-free plastics or wooden handles.
There should have been some sort of sustainable qualifier on the wooden handles.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It was the response from the landowner back to those dicks that was funny
I guess the humor was lost because there wasn't any indication of them being dicks in the original letter.
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@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It was the response from the landowner back to those dicks that was funny
I guess the humor was lost because there wasn't any indication of them being dicks in the original letter.
Indeed. The original letter basically amounted to:
Hey, we'd like to have a look around on your property for this frog. May we?
And the answer amounted to:
Herp, derp, we are dickwads. And instead of simply saying "no", we create this list of demands which shows just how big a bunch of dickwads we are.
And then we have comments like those under the post:
Kevin O'Connell · Seton Hall Preparatory School
It was not polite. Yes, it used polite language, but asking to look around somebody else's property is an incredibly rude thing to be doing.What in the world? Asking to look around is rude? Those people have a very warped view of the world.
And the rest of the comments are equally full-blown paranoiacs.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
this list of demands which shows just how big a buch of dickwads we are
I'm pretty sure the humor — such as it was — was that the list of demands mimicked the sort of senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions and ridiculous fees that ODFW and similar bureaucracies impose on citizens who want to hunt, fish or boat on public lands.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
this list of demands which shows just how big a buch of dickwads we are
I'm pretty sure the humor — such as it was — was that the list of demands mimicked the sort of senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions and ridiculous fees that ODFW and similar bureaucracies impose on citizens who want to hunt, fish or boat on public lands.
I got that. But I'm also equally capable of understanding that such institutions also have quite a number of departments and that the guy they were responding to had nothing to do with those policies whatsoever.
This is like being a dickwad towards the cashier of a bank because the director denied you a loan.
It's not even kindergarten-level of "But he did it first!"
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It was the response from the landowner back to those dicks that was funny, though I think he missed an opportunity:
What dicks? They wanted to count frogs on a creek. Count frogs!
Oh is this one of things that "everybody" just telepathically knows is an asshole thing, but I don't?
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Oh is this one of things that "everybody" just telepathically knows is an asshole thing, but I don't?
The Germans seem to have problems, too. Either y'all like bureaucracy or it's a lack of a sense of humor.
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
This is like being a dickwad towards the cashier of a bank because the director denied you a loan.
Not even close. But you guys are foreign and probably never hear of the horror stories about agencies like this and what happens when they start looking at private property.
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@boomzilla Still not funny, though. And this old "But the Germans lack humour!" trope gets tiring.
Find a new shtick. Booooring.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm pretty sure the humor — such as it was — was that the list of demands mimicked the sort of senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions and ridiculous fees that ODFW and similar bureaucracies impose on citizens who want to hunt, fish or boat on public lands.
So if a Girl Scout came to my door and wanted to sell cookies, and I gave her a big ol' speech laying out all the senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions and ridiculous fees the government imposes on purchases of space launches, would that be funny? Or be me being a dick? Get it! Because she wants me to purchase something, and when the government wants to purchase space launches it's a pain in the ass! It's hilarious!!!
Because I think that would be me being a dick.
And hey, here's a thought: the dickwads who wrote this letter? They voted for the government currently in place. So maybe if they think there's too many fees, they could vote someone else into office who's running on a platform of reducing fees. Instead of being a dickwad to some schlub whose job is to count frogs along a creek. Maybe they could take the appropriate level of personal responsibility for the world in which they live instead of acting like victims? Just a thought!
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Either y'all like bureaucracy or it's a lack of a sense of humor.
Those are the only two possibilities here.
THE ONLY TWO.
BOOMZILLA HAS SPOKEN.
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
what happens when they start looking at private property.
Oh my God... you think they might... oh its too terrifying to even type out here... you think they might...
FIND FROGS?!?!?
Actually I kind of want to hear your insane Libertarian conspiracy theory about the government employee who came along to count frogs and... then something bad happened? I guess?
Like, "hi, I'm from the government, can I count frogs along your creek?" "Sure!" *ENTIRE PROPERTY EXPLODES*
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Still not funny
Meh. IMHO, slightly funny, but not enough to be worth the trouble of reading that blog, which crashed Chrome on iOS every single time I tried to load the page.
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
this old "But the Germans lack humour!" trope
which you have just reinforced.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla Still not funny, though. And this old "But the Germans lack humour!" trope gets tiring.
Find a new shtick. Booooring.
Find a sense of humor. If that doesn't work, try humour.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So if a Girl Scout came to my door and wanted to sell cookies
??? No, because the Girl Scouts aren't the ones imposing ridiculous fees. ODFW is, presumably, one of the agencies responsible for having to pay $95830583.74 in fees every time you want to paddle your canoe down the creek. Therefore, the dickwaddery is directed at the government agency perceived as being dickwads to the citizenry.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
They voted for the government currently in place.
Are you being intentionally dense for comedic effect?
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Actually I kind of want to hear your insane Libertarian conspiracy theory about the government employee who came along to count frogs and... then something bad happened? I guess?
Like fines or ordering them to do something specific on their property, like not use it or develop it. That's not a fantasy.
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Those are the only two possibilities here.
Sorry, I guess I missed a third alternative, that you guys really have no clue how these sorts of agencies function. Your crazy talk about "fantasy" seems to confirm that.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Like, "hi, I'm from the government, can I count frogs along your creek?" "Sure!" ENTIRE PROPERTY EXPLODES
There is a rather strong disincentive to allowing the government to find endangered species on your property. If they find any, then your property becomes endangered species habitat. It likely will become illegal to do things like walk along your creek, because you might step on an endangered frog, or cut down a dead tree, because frogs, or try to protect your house from flooding, because frogs. Better that there aren't any frogs.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The Germans seem to have problems, too. Either y'all like bureaucracy or it's a lack of a sense of humor.
Have you considered the possibility that it's simply not funny?
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And hey, here's a thought: the dickwads who wrote this letter? They voted for the government currently in place.
Yeah, people who voted for the current government (or worse, didn't vote) and then bitch about its policies are the worst. Read the fucking election programs, you idiots!
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Have you considered the possibility that it's simply not funny?
Having read it, I can confirm that it is funny.
@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Yeah, people who voted for the current government (or worse, didn't vote) and then bitch about its policies are the worst. Read the fucking election programs, you idiots!
No one votes for executive agencies. Not even Congress (or state legislatures). They get some vague directions from statutes and go from there. Civil servant protections pretty much ensure those guys are insulated from getting cleaned up by elected officials.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Better that there aren't any frogs.
Related:
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@HardwareGeek Unless that agency consists of a SINGLE PERSON who wants to look at frogs, that letter is still a dick move.
If it were addressed to the person who's responsible for levying fines, then maybe.
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@FrostCat Jeez, what assholes.
It's literally a sad grad student asking nicely if they can look at some streams for frogs. If he had just done it without asking how would you even know?
Even if it was specifically the fish licence guys asking, it's still stupid. It's like they don't even understand why there are fishing rules at all.
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@HardwareGeek Fine; whatever. That's no excuse to be a rude dick to some schlub just doing their job. Politely decline.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not sure what's funny about that?
Clearly you've never tried to get a hunting license. I assume you're also unfamiliar with the way Federal bureaucracies try to stop people form making land improvements. (e.g, dig a pit to make a drainage pond to feed cattle, the EPA swoops in and claims it's retroactively a "protected wetland" and says you have to fill it in or face $35,000/day fines until you do. Oh, and you can't sue them, they claim, to get injunctive relief, until you pay the fines.)
It's simply a matter of humorously telling the government the same thing they tell us. Perhaps Germans don't have red tape-riddled bureaucracies so you're not familiar with the form of the joke?
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@FrostCat It's the gubmint!!! Waves arms insanely! THEY WANT TAKE ALL OUR LANDZZZ!! THEWY'RE EBILSSSS!!! I'M A LIRERTARIAN!!!! HEY did you look at the courthouse to see if the flag has a gold fringe becaues if it has a gold fringe that means it's an admiralty flag and the IRS forms that use your name aren't really using your name but they're using the name of a entity the IRS made-up to represent you who isn't actually use and therefore you don't need to pay any taxes just ask Wesley Snipes how well this strategy worsks guyz
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@blakeyrat I'm glad you're making this discussion funny again with your ignorance.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What in the world? Asking to look around is rude? Those people have a very warped view of the world.
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It was the response from the landowner back to those dicks that was funny, though I think he missed an opportunity:
What dicks? They wanted to count frogs on a creek. Count frogs!
Oh is this one of things that "everybody" just telepathically knows is an asshole thing, but I don't?
If they did find an endangered frog species on his property, they'd probably come with guns, run him and his wife off the land, and turn it all into a frog sanctuary. Because fuck the people, frogs come first. Spend millions of dollars on a few frogs. I wonder how much taxpayer money is being spent so that grown adults can wade up and down creeks catching frogs.
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So if a Girl Scout came to my door and wanted to sell cookies, and I gave her a big ol' speech laying out all the senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions and ridiculous fees the government imposes on purchases of space launches, would that be funny?
No, dumbass, it'd make you an asshole because the person you're screaming at isn't the same as the person putting the inane demands and restrictions on you.
Here's the part that I telepathically figured out: the government -- specifically I think it'd probably be the Department of Fish and Wildlife -- create and enforce a bunch of senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions, and ridiculous fees on people who want to hunt and fish. Then the government -- specifically the Department of Fish and Wildlife -- came asking this couple if they could hunt frogs on their land. Same entity asking as the entity that makes up all the inane rules. That's why it's supposed to be funny when the couple writes back with a bunch of inane rules that they're supposed to follow.
It's exactly like the old joke about the farmer who gouged his car salesman on buying a cow.
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@FrostCat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's simply a matter of humorously telling the government the same thing they tell us. Perhaps Germans don't have red tape-riddled bureaucracies so you're not familiar with the form of the joke?
I'm not looking at "Government" as a monolithic entity. Again, you advocate being an ass to the cashier because the director did something you don't like.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If they did find an endangered frog species on his property, they'd probably come with guns, run him and his wife off the land, and turn it all into a frog sanctuary. Because fuck the people, frogs come first. Spend millions of dollars on a few frogs.
Well how could they not? Those telepathic Illuminati alien lizard-people impersonating Queen Elizabeth obviously ordered them too.
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
No, dumbass, it'd make you an asshole because the person you're screaming at isn't the same as the person putting the inane demands and restrictions on you.
Wow, it's like you got the point of my post and yet simultaneously didn't get the point of my post. That's impressive.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
No, dumbass, it'd make you an asshole because the person you're screaming at isn't the same as the person putting the inane demands and restrictions on you.
The fun part: The same thing you find oh-so-funny is what you just lambasted Blakey for. Congrats on being a prime example for the term "cognitive dissonance".
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@Rhywden Well once people dive deep into the conspiracy theories, you can't really expect rational thought from them.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla Still not funny, though. And this old "But the Germans lack humour!" trope gets tiring.
Find a new shtick. Booooring.
Find a sense of humor. If that doesn't work, try humour.
Boooooooooring. :yawn:
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden Well once people dive deep into the conspiracy theories, you can't really expect rational thought from them.
Plus, it makes it easy for "The Government" to dismiss them.
While stating: "I don't feel comfortable granting you access due to the way your agency has treated us in recent years." may not have much of an impact, stating: "You're a dumbass and we're blowing this thing whole out of proportion." only gets you dismissed as a bunch of nutjobs no one really takes seriously.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And this old "But the Germans lack humour!" trope gets tiring.
I will retire it the day Europeans give up their American jokes. Fair?
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So if a Girl Scout came to my door and wanted to sell cookies, and I gave her a big ol' speech laying out all the senseless demands, arbitrary restrictions and ridiculous fees the government imposes on purchases of space launches, would that be funny?
No, because Girl Scouts aren't the government.
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@Rhywden said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla Still not funny, though. And this old "But the Germans lack humour!" trope gets tiring.
Find a new shtick. Booooring.
Find a sense of humor. If that doesn't work, try humour.
Boooooooooring. :yawn:
You've been taking lessons from Fox in making others' arguments for them?
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
the dickwads who wrote this letter? They voted for the government currently in place.
[citation needed]
Also, your and @Rhywden's posts aren't exactly funny--maybe the mods could jeff them into another topic, like "Blakey and Rhywden love bureaucracy".
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@Rhywden said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden Well once people dive deep into the conspiracy theories, you can't really expect rational thought from them.
Plus, it makes it easy for "The Government" to dismiss them.
While stating: "I don't feel comfortable granting you access due to the way your agency has treated us in recent years." may not have much of an impact, stating: "You're a dumbass and we're blowing this thing whole out of proportion." only gets you dismissed as a bunch of nutjobs no one really takes seriously.
Alternatively: Some people posting here can't recognize jokes.
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@anotherusername said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
Then the government -- specifically the Department of Fish and Wildlife -- came asking this couple if they could hunt frogs on their land
Not that I'm nit-picking, but I'm fairly certain the one thing they didn't actually want to do was hunt the frogs..
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@Rhywden said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
This is like being a dickwad towards the cashier of a bank because the director denied you a loan
Bear in mind that the kind of people who think this is a wet-myself thigh-slapper are the same ones who think that America's Funniest Home Videos is a comedy show.
Filed under: haw haw, hyuk hyuk, skull fractures are teh funneh
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@FrostCat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Girl Scouts aren't the government.
Found the problem guys!
Filed under: I, for one, support cupcakes for lunch every day
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What the hell, the reply wasn't even dickish. It wasn't abuse, it wasn't like screaming at a retail employee or a telemarketer - it was just saying "no" in an elaborate way and pointing out ridiculous demands from government agencies. Christ, I don't even work for a government or a company that makes ridiculous demands to anyone, and even then, if I got something like that from a customer, it would be out of my mind in 30 seconds. Yet here you are, @blakeyrat and @Rhywden, getting your panties in a twist. Do you two really find someone daring to talk back to the almighty government which can do no wrong so damn offensive that you have to write 20 posts whining about it? That's really sad.
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@HardwareGeek said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
your property becomes endangered species habitat. It likely will become illegal to do things like walk along your creek, because you might step on an endangered frog
Because protecting endangered animals is an evil, horrible thing to do. Let the free hand of the open market determine which animals survive, any species that goes extinct just wasn't trying hard enough and was relying on government handouts!
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@Jaloopa all these frogs are just mongrel freeloaders
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@PJH said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
@anotherusername said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
Then the government -- specifically the Department of Fish and Wildlife -- came asking this couple if they could hunt frogs on their land
Not that I'm nit-picking, but I'm fairly certain the one thing they didn't actually want to do was hunt the frogs..
You're nit-picking. And "hunt" doesn't necessarily convey intent to kill. Otherwise a "manhunt" would only have two possible ends (depending on whether or not they find the guy).
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@Jaloopa said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
Because protecting endangered animals is an evil, horrible thing to do. Let the free hand of the open market determine which animals survive, any species that goes extinct just wasn't trying hard enough and was relying on government handouts!
And because eminent domain without compensation isn't a thing...
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@flabdablet said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
@Jaloopa all these frogs are just mongrel freeloaders
we need to build a wall around the creek. And make the frogs pay for it!
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@Jaloopa said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
@flabdablet said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
@Jaloopa all these frogs are just mongrel freeloaderswe need to build a wall around the creek. And make the frogs pay for it!
I think they're in Oregon, not France.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
No, because the Girl Scouts aren't the ones imposing ridiculous fees. ODFW is, presumably, one of the agencies responsible for having to pay $95830583.74 in fees every time you want to paddle your canoe down the creek. Therefore, the dickwaddery is directed at the government agency perceived as being dickwads to the citizenry.
"It took years in Ventura County to make even the simplest modifications to the campground we ran. For example, it took 7 separate permits from the County (each requiring a substantial payment) just to remove a wooden deck that the County inspector had condemned. In order to allow us to temporarily park a small concession trailer in the parking lot, we had to (among other steps) take a soil sample of the dirt under the asphalt of the parking lot. It took 3 years to permit a simple 500 gallon fuel tank with CARB and the County equivilent. The entire campground desperately needed a major renovation but the smallest change would have triggered millions of dollars of new facility requirements from the County that we simply could not afford."
Elsewhere--I couldn't find the post with a quick search--he had a more detailed post describing the multi-year process involved in removing this wooden deck. I'm sure @blakeyrat will come along and tell us how unreasonable this guy was being, expecting not to have to have 7 different permits just to tear down a deck.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Waves arms insanely!
And you wonder why you get abuse. Maybe you really are too stupid to realize things don't have to be at one extreme or the other.
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@Rhywden said in On Frogs, Land, and Government:
Again, you advocate
No, I said it was funny when someone else did it. Is @blakeyrat's tendency to make assumptions about what other people say, even though he hates when people do that to him, rubbing off on you?
Shoot, shovel, and shut up - Wikipedia
