How to make a fresh start
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The story so far: the place I work is very eco-greenie-vegan-foodie, which makes for a pleasant atmosphere, but leads to some annoying politicking about things like fertilizer or insecticides.
We've been using a landscaping company for a few years, but he has been fertilizing on the down-low to avoid the messy politics for everybody involved. Everything is legal and above board, but an executive decision was made, and people's inputs were not considered. Too bad so sad, that's the job.
But a member of the Board of Directors was cut out of the loop for being a bit of a numb nuts. Now we're renegotiating with the landscaping vendor, and the board member asked me to pass on this note:
Vendor:
Attached is an expanded version of the Landscaping Agreement developed a year or two ago but, apparently, never used or signed. I have added issues to it and I’ve added any missing clauses or terms from your documents.Although we expect a tough budget year, @Executive has agreed to go from $630 to $650 per month. Quite frankly, I don’t believe you truly earned the $630 the past several years but let’s make a “fresh start.”
There is little wiggle room in this document! Read it carefully and then let’s get together to discuss and sign! Best days for me and @Captain are Wednesday or Thursday.
“Significant” changes in this agreement include the portions underlined in your copy. I may have missed some. Coordinate with @Captain regarding a meeting and signing date.
@BoardMember
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Pass it on and you'll be fired as a client in 3, 2, 1…
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To rank and file? How dumb is he - even if it wasn't controversial?
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@Captain am I to assume the "significant" changes included the eco-greenie-vegan crap fertilizer they were supposed to be using from now on?
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@anotherusername Not really, Scott's fertilizer is listed.
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@Captain But that uses CHEMICALS!! We must always use this organic, natural fertilizer that is local-sourced, free-ranged. No animals products are used and it is made in this quaint little commune and is only 630 a month!
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@theBread said in How to make a fresh start:
But that uses CHEMICALS!!
dude.... fucking everything you can touch is chemicals.
even that organic lettuce you are eatting for lunch is chemicals!
you're breathing dioxygen right now, you're drinking dihydrogenmonoxide constantly you're made of deoxyribonucleic acid and polypeptide chains suspended in an aqueous solution.
duuuuuude..... YOU ARE MADE OF CHEMICALS!
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@accalia said in How to make a fresh start:
@theBread said in How to make a fresh start:
But that uses CHEMICALS!!
dude.... fucking everything you can touch is chemicals.
even that organic lettuce you are eatting for lunch is chemicals!
you're breathing dioxygen right now, you're drinking dihydrogenmonoxide constantly you're made of deoxyribonucleic acid and polypeptide chains suspended in an aqueous solution.
duuuuuude..... YOU ARE MADE OF CHEMICALS!
At risk of wrath:
says what?
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@abarker said in How to make a fresh start:
At risk of wrath:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! CHEMTRAILS!
GET THAT MONSTROSITY AWAY FROM ME!
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@accalia said in How to make a fresh start:
@abarker said in How to make a fresh start:
At risk of wrath:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! CHEMTRAILS!
GET THAT MONSTROSITY AWAY FROM ME!
You must be from US. In UK it's "
Contail". Damn Muphry's Law. "Contrails"
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@accalia said in How to make a fresh start:
@russ0519 said in How to make a fresh start:
Contail
Damn Muphry's Law. Contrails, not Contails, which I assume is what accalia would wear to FurCon
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@russ0519 said in How to make a fresh start:
Contrails, not Contails,
around these paerts we call those sort of things @accalias. no idea why.
@russ0519 said in How to make a fresh start:
which I assume is what accalia would wear to FurCon
Furcons, for all hallows eve, for most parties, around the house, to work (because i can get away with it)..... prettymuch anywhere and everywhere i feel like it really.
but only when i feel like it.
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@Captain said in How to make a fresh start:
politicking about things like fertilizer or insecticides
If fertilizing is evil, replace all the green areas with a glorious concrete field. Does not need fertilizing and will endure for years.
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@Adynathos said in How to make a fresh start:
Does not need fertilizing and will endure for years.
it will however happily remove all the flesh from your body, something that grass will resist doing until you reach velocities that are significantly higher than a single human can self propel unaided.
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@accalia said in How to make a fresh start:
it will however happily remove all the flesh from your body, something that grass will resist doing
If grass was better at removing flesh from bodies, it would not need additional fertilizing.
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@Captain said in How to make a fresh start:
fertilizing on the down-low to avoid the messy politics for everybody involved
This is the funniest thing I've read today.
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@Adynathos said in How to make a fresh start:
@Captain said in How to make a fresh start:
politicking about things like fertilizer or insecticides
If fertilizing is evil, replace all the green areas with a glorious concrete field. Does not need fertilizing and will endure for years.
Even better, tarmac. Loads of carbon locked up and unable to become CO2
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@Jaloopa Good idea, with a coat of astroturf for extra carbon locking and green!
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@Captain said in How to make a fresh start:
the place I work is very eco-greenie-vegan-foodie, which makes for a pleasant atmosphere
Only if you keep the windows open…
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@theBread said in How to make a fresh start:
@Captain But that uses CHEMICALS!! We must always use this organic, natural fertilizer that is local-sourced, free-ranged. No animals products are used and it is made in this quaint little commune and is only 630 a month!
If only the landscaping guy could put marketing's grade-A bullshit to use...
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@accalia Always good to see Sakamoto and the Professor.