I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...



  • ... once they are in the hole in the ground they have dug for themselves, we can get movies immediately at home via whatever distribution system we want (Netflix, Amazon, whatever), and cut out the fucking middle men, their ridiculous pricing structure, and the legions of mouth-breathing morons humping their phones during the god damn movie. FUCK movie theaters.

    (Live performance-art theaters are OK, they still lay the smack down on fuckwits who don't give a shit about people around them ^_^)

    Related: https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/19120/you-know-what-worth-it


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    If they close movie theaters, how would a film end up on the Internet before release? 🏆



  • @loopback0 Via headset VR streams directly into your brain, of course. Now, instead of shaky cellphone video, you can have shaky eyesight video taken from the VR headset of someone who TOTALLY is NOT schizophrenic 👍




  • BINNED

    @Vaire You should go to a nice movie theater. I suggest you go to Utah's Megaplex Theaters, enjoy and forget about crappy AMC theaters. The problem is AMC is old-timer blocking progress and they will learn their lesson the hard way, like cable company lobbies.

    After 2 years in California, I wait till I go to Utah and watch movie in a theater.
    AMC is total crap, they do not even give you a seat number, it is like a smelly village bus with fleas.



  • @dse Good call - now I have something to do this weekend, as there's a megaplex in Orem :)

    Thanks!



  • Hmm, I just realized that, despite having AMC theaters where I live, I can't remember the last time I was in one.

    The best theater where I live is part of a chain that only has 12 theaters total.



  • @blakeyrat Meh, too little, too late. They already won't go in and tell people to get off their phones, and they won't back people up for telling people to stop either. Even the HINT of approval on their part is enough to open the floodgates a little wider.



  • @Vaire Wow you're like the Martin Luther King Jr. of being slightly annoyed at large movie theater chains.



  • @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @Vaire You should go to a nice movie theater. I suggest you go to Utah's Megaplex Theaters, enjoy and forget about crappy AMC theaters. The problem is AMC is old-timer blocking progress and they will learn their lesson the hard way, like cable company lobbies.

    After 2 years in California, I wait till I go to Utah and watch movie in a theater.
    AMC is total crap, they do not even give you a seat number, it is like a smelly village bus with fleas.

    There is one theater in Portland, and one in San Francisco I will go to. They are 21+ only, adults only, expensive, dinner+movie theaters. Shithead "millennials" are not allowed, and they WILL throw you out on your ass if you are rude. Totally worth the money to go to those locations, when I am in those cities.



  • @blakeyrat said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @Vaire Wow you're like the Martin Luther King Jr. of being slightly annoyed at large movie theater chains.

    I choose to take that as a compliment ;)



  • @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @Vaire You should go to a nice movie theater. I suggest you go to Utah's Megaplex Theaters, enjoy and forget about crappy AMC theaters. The problem is AMC is old-timer blocking progress and they will learn their lesson the hard way, like cable company lobbies.

    Hmmm.... our AMC is the only local theater that has reserved seating and leather recliners.



  • @Vaire said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    ... once they are in the hole in the ground they have dug for themselves, we can get movies immediately at home via whatever distribution system we want (Netflix, Amazon, whatever), and cut out the fucking middle men, their ridiculous pricing structure, and the legions of mouth-breathing morons humping their phones during the god damn movie. FUCK movie theaters.

    I hope you realize that the pricing structure isn't inherent in the theater business, it's the way the movie industry makes money. Theaters are much more likely to be replaced by this $50 per movie scheme than just go straight to Netflix.


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    Personally I have no problem with texting as long as its silent... and no where near me... but then I once grabbed someone's phone and tossed it as far as my geeky arms could throw it once. They didn't come back to their seat suprisingly enough.


  • FoxDev

    personally i have no problem with movietheares.... so long as you don't expect to ever see me inside one. for the price of a ticket i can BUY the movie when it comes out, enjoy it in the comfort of my own home, rewatch it an unlimited number of times, AND have enough cash left over for three big bottles of soda, about four gallons of popcorn SLATHERED in butter and enough candy to make me really really really ill.

    and that's not counting what they expect you to pay at concessions.



  • @DogsB said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    Personally I have no problem with texting as long as its silent... and no where near me... but then I once grabbed someone's phone and tossed it as far as my geeky arms could throw it once. They didn't come back to their seat suprisingly enough.

    0_1460745080661_aaaaandImInLoveWithYou.jpg



  • @Vaire said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @Vaire You should go to a nice movie theater. I suggest you go to Utah's Megaplex Theaters, enjoy and forget about crappy AMC theaters. The problem is AMC is old-timer blocking progress and they will learn their lesson the hard way, like cable company lobbies.

    After 2 years in California, I wait till I go to Utah and watch movie in a theater.
    AMC is total crap, they do not even give you a seat number, it is like a smelly village bus with fleas.

    There is one theater in Portland, and one in San Francisco I will go to. They are 21+ only, adults only, expensive, dinner+movie theaters. Shithead "millennials" are not allowed, and they WILL throw you out on your ass if you are rude. Totally worth the money to go to those locations, when I am in those cities.

    I went to an awesome movie theatre when I was in Melbourne, Australia - it was also adults only, had around 30 seats in the cinema and they were electric la-z-boy types.
    And.... it had to-the-seat service! A nice lady brought me a couple of beers and some wings.

    Don't even think it was all that expensive - think I paid around $20 (AU=US) for the seat and maybe another $20 for the couple of beers and wings.



  • @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    it is like a smelly village bus with fleas.

    I took many terrible buses, but never seen one with fleas.



  • Wasn't there an article just the other day about Hollywood making record earnings last year?

    If theaters are truly on the way out, how did they make all that money? Certainly not through DVD / BR sales, one would think.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @skotl Some Odeon cinemas here have "The Gallery" which is a separate part of the seating above everyone else with proper comfy seats, unlimited snacks/soft drinks and their own private bar. Some of them allow the booze to be taken in with you.



  • @loopback0 now I'm jealous. best we have in the city is the only one that has imax, in just one of it's projectors.

    I wouldn't understand the subtitles in whatever language you speak anyway


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @fbmac We have Imax too, but I've never been to one so don't know if they have similar facilities.

    @fbmac said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    I wouldn't understand the subtitles in whatever language you speak anyway

    0_1460749206955_upload-893bb49c-0ccf-4b60-9e01-6bba434f7639



  • @loopback0 imax is cool, it's worth watching a 3D movie in it to experiment


  • BINNED

    @fbmac said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    I took many terrible buses, but never seen one with fleas.

    Fleas are in AMC not in the buses, that's the extra bang for bucks


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    @Vaire said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    legions of mouth-breathing morons humping their phones

    Interesting imagery...


  • Garbage Person

    We had a theater here that opened to much fanfare with one of the two main theaters equipped to run as 21+ only (state law) dinner/alcoholic beverages.

    They didn't run it in that configuration all the time - during off hours they just ran it as a normal theater, but during weekend peak and premiere nights, it was adults only.

    In-theater drinking and dinner went away within just a few months when it became clear that they were turning away under-21 customers (because the only seats left were in the adult theater) and not filling the adult theater. That left just a little restaurant+bar in the lobby. They have basically wound down the kitchen (in order to serve beer in this state, you need to have food, so they still do french fries and chicken tenders that they buy at the grocery store next door) and are going to wind down the bar next time they're up for license renewal.

    The economics just aren't there in small cities to support anything special.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    You can tell a milleniwhatever to turn off their phone. I've done it. Several times. "Your phone is shining in the eyes of the people behind you. Please put it away".

    If there aren't ushers to help you, talk to the manager afterwards and ask for a refund.

    Though I tell you, there's a reason there's 40 minutes of commercials for cars and energy drinks before the movies. The theatre's real money doesn't come from ticket sales. =(


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @fbmac said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    imax

    That's totally worth it. Filling your entire visual field with the movie makes for an entirely different experience. Even without 3D it's stupendous.

    Though there is a down-side: I have got motion sickness from an imax movie. Unfortunately for the cinema, I didn't quite make it out of the lobby before the effects reached their logical conclusion…



  • @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    AMC is total crap, they do not even give you a seat number, it is like a smelly village bus with fleas.

    The AMC near me has had to compete with Silverado IMAX.

    Now they have assigned seats, big lounge chairs, clean, etc.

    I started going back because they are a dollar cheaper and finally up to standard for me.


    If it gets bad again, I'll just go to the Movie Tavern. It's a bar that shows movies and people bring their kids because it's that much better.

    The quality of the business is based on the quality of the market they appeal to.

    However, in Lake Charles, LA, the dollar theater that eventually closed, didn't have any problems there, ever. Yeah, the seats were small, but everyone was polite.


  • Garbage Person

    @dkf Well, you see, there are 4 dominant projector systems on the theater market these days:

    1. Various 2K-resolution projectors. You still find these in shithouses like AMC's.

    2. Sony Digital 4K. These are the bread and butter projectors. 4K resolution digital, 3840x2160. There is no pricing difference between these and regular 2K screens. There is no excuse for ever seeing a movie in a 2K theater.

    3. Actual real, honest to god IMAX. Analog 70mm film. These are installed in two configurations: Screen and dome. Dome installations are impossible to use for regular movies. Typical screen sizes are 23m tall and 30m wide, which is a really weird oversquare size. Production numbers are unclear, but there have never been more than a few hundred installations, most in science centers. There have only ever been less than 100 theater installations - most of which have been scrapped due to cost. The tricks to the larger apparent size is that the screen is actually godawful huge and also VERY TALL. This allows it to generally actually cover your entire FOV. Seating tends to be installed on a much steeper slope to keep the entire audience in the FOV-filling butter zone. This equipment is only available in limited, custom production.

    4. IMAX Digital. This is actually two 2K digital video streams projected on top of each other from two separate projectors. Effective resolution is something in the vicinity of 6120x4500, which is just short of 8K. Typical screen size is 8.5m x 18m, which you will note is actually about the size of a large regular multiplex screen - just a bit wider. The trick to the larger apparent size is that they moved it closer to the front row. So while you're sitting in the same place in the theater as always, you're actually closer to the screen. This equipment is mass produced.

    "IMAX" films are recorded with the extra height required for the real screens, but they never put actual necessary content there, because it gets cut off on normal screens (and IMAX digital), but it helps with immersion. Actual IMAX theaters exist in places where movie reviewers like to go. There is no advertising difference. There is no PRICING difference. If you don't live where there's an actual IMAX screen, you will never actually know the difference.

    We have one non-science theater within a few hundred miles with an actual IMAX auditorium. It's in a separate building the size of the rest of the multiplex combined.





  • @Weng so I'll probably never see the real large imax thing.

    imax digital is cool enough anyway

    They claim our local imax screen is 21m x 12m, and curve. I don't know were it would fit in this list.


  • Garbage Person

    @fbmac Definitely a digital installation. The curved screen is basically a gimmick because of how projection works. It lets them claim larger dimensions for the same physical space.


  • BINNED

    @Weng I knew iMax in Sandy/Utah is for realz. I am so glad because otherwise I had to go find one and never go anywhere else :)

    Unsurprisingly, it is most likely to get a lemon in California.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Weng Looks like I have access to 4 of them near me:

    • downtown Toronto (so special occasions only)
    • Ontario Place Cinesphere-- saw a lot of documentaries there, since it was included in admission to the park ground. Unfortunately the park's been shuttered for a couple years.
    • Ontario Place Science Center. Though they don't screen Hollywood movies. I did get to see Hubble 3D there, so fucking-A!
    • Vaughn, which is at the far-west end of the region. It used to be my go-to theater. Except it's 40 minutes drive, without traffic. And it requires driving through a shitty part of the region-- not crime, just really fucking horrible, shitty, entitled, dangerous drivers. Fuck them.

    That leaves the new IMAX theater about 10 minutes away that I can reach through local roads. It's a lieMAX, though, so that sucks. But they do have VIP theaters-- reserved big leather seats, 19+. For the same cost as "IMAX", and the screen is the same size.



  • @Weng said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    The economics just aren't there in small cities to support anything special.

    I live in he 49th largest metro area in the US and the one theater chain around here that did recliners and reserved seating is sold out every weekend.

    We have three theater classes: Regal which does technology well - a proper analog IMAX screen at two of its locations and all digital 4K in all of the other auditoriums, AMC which does convenience well, and the independents which specialize in showing the movies that the big theaters won't show. I only go to AMC because, for me, convenience beats technology. I wouldn't give up my reserved seating for a slightly clearer picture. The seats are so comfortable that my Fitbit recorded my last trip to the movies as two hours of sleep time.



  • @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    I knew iMax in Sandy/Utah is for realz. I am so glad because otherwise I had to go find one and never go anywhere else :)

    Your article doesn't list Williamsville, NY as real IMAX, but I've seen the six-foot diameter 70mm reels in person there.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election Banned

    @Vaire said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    @Vaire You should go to a nice movie theater. I suggest you go to Utah's Megaplex Theaters, enjoy and forget about crappy AMC theaters. The problem is AMC is old-timer blocking progress and they will learn their lesson the hard way, like cable company lobbies.

    After 2 years in California, I wait till I go to Utah and watch movie in a theater.
    AMC is total crap, they do not even give you a seat number, it is like a smelly village bus with fleas.

    There is one theater in Portland, and one in San Francisco I will go to. They are 21+ only, adults only, expensive, dinner+movie theaters. Shithead "millennials" are not allowed, and they WILL throw you out on your ass if you are rude. Totally worth the money to go to those locations, when I am in those cities.

    Here in Texas we have this wonderful place called Alamo Drafthouse, which is another dinner+movie place but it's not particularly expensive and less stringent on its admission requirements. But, well...

    http://youtu.be/1L3eeC2lJZs


  • BINNED

    @Jaime said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    Your article doesn't list Williamsville, NY as real IMAX, but I've seen the six-foot diameter 70mm reels in person there.

    It seems here keeps an updated list and you can send updates to mail@LFexaminer.com


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Weng said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    If you don't live where there's an actual IMAX screen

    But I do. 😀 It really is better, though the theaters are often also equipped with digital projectors as well so that they can show ordinary content.

    I usually just go to the multiplex though.



  • @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    It seems here keeps an updated list and you can send updates to mail@LFexaminer.com

    My theater is in there, listed as having a 1570 format projector since 1999. The article mentioned cites this list as its source. I don't doubt the original source, but it really casts the article's claim that only 88 screens are IMAX in a poor light. When I go to that page and search for "1570", the search bar says "More than 100 matches".


  • Garbage Person

    @Jaime My local one isn't even on the list. There has in fact been quite a proliferation of the real thing over the past 5 or 6 years - marketing strategy. Have to get the big expensive ones in front of as many professional reviewers as possible.

    It's really closely held stuff, and with so little of the moviegoing population actually knowing the difference, crowdsourcing it is hard.



  • @Weng said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    It's really closely held stuff, and with so little of the moviegoing population actually knowing the difference, crowdsourcing it is hard.

    They were very proud to show off their equipment when my daughter had a birthday party there a few years ago. A backstage tour was part of the package. It's quite surprising how much space it takes to run film horizontally.



  • @dkf said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    I have got motion sickness from an imax movie.

    I saw Cloverfield on a screen that was IMAX in a former life. Quite a few guests had to leave!


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Zemm I don't remember which one it was for me. I do remember that it involved swooping in a plane over migrating herds on the Serengeti, and I also remember that I must've had carrots the previous evening… 😷



  • @dkf yeesh, I watched the replied coming into this over the weekend, ya'll scare me sometimes o_O


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @dse said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    I suggest you go to Utah's Megaplex Theaters, enjoy and forget about crappy AMC theaters.

    My local AMC theaters are great. They've all gone to assigned seating and every seat is a powered recliner.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @boomzilla said in I cannot wait until movie theaters go out of business...:

    My local AMC theaters are great.

    Around here, AMC is the most expensive chain, both for tickets, and for concessions (discounting places that have a restaurant, that is.)


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @FrostCat Honestly, I don't go to enough movies to be able to say how they are relatively. They're all too damn expensive. I go maybe twice a year.

    My wife will occasionally take the kids to a local non-AMC theater does a $6 Tuesday matinee.


  • Fake News

    I can't recall the last time I was in a theater. Perhaps we'll try one that serves food and alcohol someday... but the movie itself would need to be compelling as well, which most in recent memory simply haven't been.


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