Medical WTF



  • @bstorer said:

    We need to keep tacking on to it until we develop a forum constitution in a fabulous rainbow of DOs and DON'Ts.

     

    We need a troll version, too:

    <font color="#a02020" size="5">DO NOT take anything MasterPlanSoftware says seriously. Reply to any and all valid criticisms with QQ emoticons or StarCraft 1337-speak. If Lysis is near, you must praise him unabashedly for he is your douchebag overlord.</font>

    <font color="#00aa00" size="5">DO reply to every thread with an anti-Microsoft flame. If it is off-topic, all the better, because the world needs to know how awesome you are for not using Windows. Make sure you don't let any fact or knowledge slip into your posts, though, for that is the Path to Legitimacy. All well-constructed refutations of your post must be met with childish name-calling, hysterical screaming of "BSOD" and detailed information on your particular Ubuntu installation.</font>



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    We need a troll version, too:
     

    Thanks, I needed more soda on my screen.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    We need a troll version, too:

    I'd include that but it would look really hypocritical on the posts that I made genuinely as anti-MS. But if someone seconds it...



  • @Lingerance said:

    I'd include that but it would look really hypocritical on the posts that I made genuinely as anti-MS. But if someone seconds it...

    Nah, I just meant it as a joke.  Unfortunately, I goofed up with the editor and tried to use the style attribute rather than the font tag, but I got to it in time to correct it, I guess.

     

    Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with criticizing Microsoft or Windows so long as your point is legitimate, you are well-informed about similar behaviors on a variety of platforms and you can make your case without sounding like you just fell off the Slashbus.  I've never seen anything I would consider as trolling out of you, I'm referring to people like dhlikten and ZiggyFish. 



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Nah, I just meant it as a joke.
    Meh, I put part of it in. I want something blue to go in it now.


    /me pouts


    /me make puppy-dog face



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    I've never seen anything I would consider as trolling out of you
     

    I have seen plenty of misinformed (usually anti-MS) posts from Lingerance, but I don't think Lingerance is trolling. 

    Would just be nice to see those things posed as questions and not as facts sometimes... But LIngerance spends plenty of time in between making actual insightful contributions and has a good snese of humor.

     

    So..... Definitely not a troll like dlikhten, ZiggyFish, aogail, etc. For what it's worth.



  • @Lingerance said:

    Meh, I put part of it in.

    It's like an upside-down Lithuanian flag in text format.



    I can't think of a flag in the order you have it now, though. Hmm..



  • @snoofle said:

    ... all while you peacefully snooze through it. ...

     

     

    They give you a narcosis for this? sissy. I didn't even get a warning ;-)



  • @bugzilla said:

    sissy. I didn't even get a warning ;-)
     

    That oughta teach you to not drop the soap....


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @medialint said:

    Get some diapers

    Hasn't this been tried by some of the recent female staff at NASA?

    (apologies to the OP, I feel your pain.)



  • @PJH said:

    Hasn't this been tried by some of the recent female staff at NASA?

    He gave it away in his tags.



  • Back to the OP's post:

    I really hope you realise that you will be completely incapable of driving home after such a procedure. In fact you will be completely incapable of moving for the next two days afterwards (and thats if they don't remove anything). Coming from a family that's prone to bowel cancer, I have seen what this does to people and have to point out the fact that you should arrange for someone to drop you to and pick you up from the hospital.



  • @AbbydonKrafts said:

    @snoofle said:
    True - that's why I didn't eat for 36 hours before, per doctor;

    Damn. I doubt I'd be able to go that long without eating without going mad at the same time.

    @snoofle said:

    had it done this morning; apparently, all is well! Pictures are sort of like being on a real-life Fantastic voyage...

    I don't think I'd ever want to see the pictures if I had that done.


    36 hours isn't so hard, once you realize you can eat certain kinds of stuff that completely absorbs...

    And no, I wasn't going to share the pics, even if I had them in my hands, but they're not at all gross, and don't really look anything like what you'd imagine...



  • @snoofle said:

    36 hours isn't so hard, once you realize you can eat certain kinds of stuff that completely absorbs... And no, I wasn't going to share the pics, even if I had them in my hands, but they're not at all gross, and don't really look anything like what you'd imagine...

    So it wasn't that you "didn't eat for 36 hours before".. it was just highly restricted. Ok.. that's better. Complete starvation doesn't work for me.



    I'm sure it doesn't look as bad as one would imagine, but I still wouldn't want to see.



  • @Hitsuji said:

    Back to the OP's post:

    I really hope you realise that you will be completely incapable of driving home after such a procedure. In fact you will be completely incapable of moving for the next two days afterwards (and thats if they don't remove anything). Coming from a family that's prone to bowel cancer, I have seen what this does to people and have to point out the fact that you should arrange for someone to drop you to and pick you up from the hospital.

    Actually, they required you to have someone there to drive you home, that they could speak to, before they'd even do the procedure. As for me, they removed one polyp. The anesthetic they use puts you right out and you wake up in about 10 minutes once they're done. They told me to go get something to eat, and I've been up and about since 9:30 this morning. The prep is far worse than the actual procedure.


  • @AbbydonKrafts said:

    I'm sure it doesn't look as bad as one would imagine, but I still wouldn't want to see.

    He's lying, it really is about as bad as you'd imagine.  Obviously most of the.. debris.. has been flushed out, but it's still a veiny, pink tube with assorted ridges and polyps.  I've had an endoscopy before (down the throat to look at the esophagus) and it looks about the same as the other direction.  Very disturbing.



  • @Lingerance said:

    @AbbydonKrafts said:
    Holy shit! That's gonna be murder in every thread you posted in. Quick -- take it off!
    I don't post _that_ frequently. I'll keep it up for a week or so though unless the mods intervene. Although it's better than what could happen, refer to Youtube 0.1
     

    Well, I've seen it 15 times today and it already pisses my eyes off.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @AbbydonKrafts said:

    He gave it away in his tags.
    Ah.

    Tags don't show up in either emails or threaded view, so I never see them.



  • @snoofle said:

    Ok, so I'm getting older, and had to sign up for a colonoscopy. For those who aren't familiar with this lovely little procedure, they basically shove the medical equivalent of a small garden hose up your butt, complete with camera, electric snare and cauterizer, so they can look at your insides and make sure nothing is amiss, all while you peacefully snooze through it.
     

    I assume you're not familiar with the 'Agent Picolax' story then?
    http://www.madcaow.com/blog/2007/07/24/agent-picolax/



  • @PJH said:

    Tags don't show up in either emails or threaded view, so I never see them.

    I forgive you, then.



  • @snoofle said:

    Pictures are sort of like being on a real-life Fantastic voyage...
     

     

    For a moment there I thought you had attached one of the pictures:  Fantastic voyage




  • Ah, here comes good ol' MPS - no conversation about assholes is complete until he's stuck his head in! 

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    quoting the OP isn't an offense against nature
     

    Yes it is. Offenders should be catapulted straight into a brick wall.

     

    See, I knew you'd say something like that.  So I'm going to quote the entire post quoting the OP just in order to reply to it, because I know it'll make you jump up and down like an angry monkey.

    @galgorah said:

     

    torlling for MPS

     

    Hey, it might be a bit of a load, but there's no need to dump on him!  Sure, we could have lived without the story, and maybe the wording was a bit cack-handed, but didn't most of us come here to talk crap anyway?  Besides, he's got to talk to somebody about it, you can't make poor Snoofle hold it all in forever; sooner or later he's got to let go, or it'll all come flooding out.

    Anyhow, many people find their faith helps them hold back the horrors of the night.  So if you're still plagued by dreams of anuses, maybe you should say a prayer for all Our Souls? 

     



  • @DaveK said:

    Ah, here comes good ol' MPS - no conversation about assholes is complete until he's stuck his head in! 
     

    Right. Because this turned oh so awful.  Woe is me. I have learned my lesson. Never give advice to someone.

     

    ...Nah.



  • @DaveK said:

    So if you're still plagued by dreams of anuses, maybe you should say a prayer for all Our Souls? 
     

    Nah. When I think of anuses, I think of you and Lysis. 



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    I have learned my lesson.
     

    You nearly had me going there, troll!



  • @DaveK said:

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    I have learned my lesson.
     

    You nearly had me going there, troll!

     

    The only person here trolling is you. You are the only one who took offense here. 

    Just when I thought we finally left behind this little episode of trolls who follow me around and act like complete and total retards.... You are back.

    Yay for you. What's next? Posting lolcat flame replies in threads?

    Please, for the sake of all who enjoy these forums, grow up.



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Please, for the sake of all who enjoy these forums, grow up.
    I rather like the phrase from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:  "What the fuck are you bitches babbling about?"  It's a little bit of trolling the troll.



  • @snoofle said:

    Actually, they required you to have someone there to drive you home, that they could speak to, before they'd even do the procedure. As for me, they removed one polyp. The anesthetic they use puts you right out and you wake up in about 10 minutes once they're done. They told me to go get something to eat, and I've been up and about since 9:30 this morning. The prep is far worse than the actual procedure.

     

    Yeah, I had a stomach scope (I forget the term for it, endoscopy or something similar) a while back.  My girlfriend had to drive me home.  Quite a weird feeling to be knocked out for 2 hours or so and then wake up and just feel dizzy and queasy.   On the walk to the car, there was a nurse assisting me until we got to the hospital door where my girlfriend was waiting for me.  The nurse decided to harass me about when I was going to "put a ring on her finger."  When we met up with my girlfriend, the nurse even grabbed my girlfriend's hand and said, "See!  This is the perfect spot for one." or some such nonsense.  Very, very uncool...especially when I can't think straight from drugs.

    PS.  I just dropped my 2nd deuce of the morning.  If I get a 3rd one in before noon, I'll take a picture of it on a wooden table and post it.  </joke>  (Well, about the picture, at least.)



  • @KenW said:

    @DaveK said:

    So if you're still plagued by dreams of anuses, maybe you should say a prayer for all Our Souls? 
     

    Nah. When I think of anuses, I think of you and Lysis. 

    What you do in your spare time is your own business, and it should stay that way.  Posting your sexual fantasies here is Too Much Information.

     



  • @DaveK said:

    @KenW said:

    @DaveK said:

    So if you're still plagued by dreams of anuses, maybe you should say a prayer for all Our Souls? 
     

    Nah. When I think of anuses, I think of you and Lysis. 

    What you do in your spare time is your own business, and it should stay that way.  Posting your sexual fantasies here is Too Much Information. 

    OMG, KenW, I think you just got served! 



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    @DaveK said:

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    I have learned my lesson.
     

    You nearly had me going there, troll!

    The only person here trolling is you. You are the only one who took offense here. 

    Well, you're 50% right there.  But I don't know why you think I've "taken offense" at anything.  You must have misread the emotional tone of something I've written; I really don't need to be angry or offended about anything in order to enjoy teasing someone who's hidebound and rigid about petty rules!

    I guess it's my own fault for not using the <joke>, <exaggeration> or <sarcasm> tags correctly, but it would be nice if you didn't need to have things spelled out for you.

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Just when I thought we finally left behind this little episode of trolls who follow me around

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!   "Following you around"?  Over-rate yourself, much?

    Oh, my aching sides, you really are priceless!

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Just when I thought we finally left behind this little episode of trolls who follow me around and act like complete and total retards.... You are back.

    Yes.  But unlike you, I'm only acting!

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Yay for you. What's next? Posting lolcat flame replies in threads?

    Oh come on!  I made a completely original joke combining the wooden table theme with the current obsession about quoting the OP, and added a bunch of toilet-humour puns riffing on the topic of the thread.  The last thing you can accuse me of is needing to lift anyone else's material.

    @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Please, for the sake of all who enjoy these forums, grow up.
     

    I'll grow up if you grow yourself a sense of humour.   Only, by the time you've done that, you won't be so easily wound-up, and you won't spend so much of your time worrying about what everyone else is saying or doing and whether it needs to be controlled or not...



  • @DaveK said:

    More verbal diarrhea...

     

    That is all fine and great. The only problem is that I don't get wound up to any of your crap. Just like I don't get wound up to Lysis, Morbii, poopdeville, or any of the other trolls that lurk here.Childish harassment over the internet would be silly to get wound up about.

    Usually I just ignore you trolls, but sometimes you almost seem like you have valid comments. And then you do this kind of crap, and I can only ask that you grow up and move on. The rest of the regular trolls seem to have gotten bored and moved on... Maybe you can learn from them?

     

    Apparently that isn't going to happen, but I thought it was worth a try. It sure would benefit the rest of us.



  • @DaveK said:

    ...trolly trolly troll-troll...

    Look out, World: DaveK is serving faster than Oracle!



  • @DaveK said:

    trolly trolly troll troll
    What the fuck are you bitches babbling about?

     



  • @belgariontheking said:

    What the fuck are you bitches babbling about?

    snicker



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Just when I thought we finally left behind this little episode of trolls who follow me around and act like complete and total retards

    Ok, let's think about this logically. We can see you have problems butting heads with various people on the forum, and there are two possible explanations:


    1. There is an anti-MPS conspiracy and people really are stalking you.
    2. You go out of your way to be an asshole to everyone, generally making you kind of hard to like.



      Which do you think is more likely?

    @belgariontheking said:

    @DaveK said:

    trolly trolly troll troll
    What the fuck are you bitches babbling about?

     

    I know you're trying to make that your catchphrase, but please stop.



  •  @Cap'n Steve said:

    trolly trolly troll

    Gee, how did I know you wouldn't be far behind?

    Really, as I have said many times before: Please grow up and move on.



  • @Cap'n Steve said:

    Ok, let's think about this logically. We can see you have problems butting heads with various people on the forum, and there are two possible explanations:

    1. There is an anti-MPS conspiracy and people really are stalking you.
    2. You go out of your way to be an asshole to everyone, generally making you kind of hard to like.

    I don't think there is a conspiracy, but I do think a lot of people give MPS shit for no good reason.  When I first started reading this forum, it seemed like he could be a bit harsh at times (even though he was correct) but as I started to read what the people he was responding to wrote, I realized he was offering rational (if sometimes short-tempered) responses to idiotic trolls.  I'm not going to lie, I was unfair to him initially, but after spending a few days carefully following this forum I came to the conclusion that I was incorrect in my initial judgement.  I'm not going to say I agree with him all the time, but I do respect his opinion and I think he does work to maintain the quality of this forum.



  •  @morbiuswilters said:

    Thanks. Appreciated. The feeling is mutual.

    These trolls following me around are pathetic, but it doesn't bother me all that much. I only feel a bit bad for the other people here, since they tend to ruin threads. Especially at the end of a well natured thread like this one.

     

    Oh well.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    I'm not going to say I agree with him all the time, but I do respect his opinion and I think he does work to maintain the quality of this forum.

    I respect his opinion when he's actually discussing the topic at hand. If he really cared about the quality of the forum, I don't think he would randomly call half of the users trolls (Here's a hint to both of you: We only have 1 or 2 active trolls, and they're both pretty mild.) and post very thinly veiled flamebait (like the constant namedropping of the aforementioned "trolls") so often.



    With that said, I know the rants don't help matters, but I just see something so obnoxious every once in a while that I can't help myself. I do try to restrict myself to ranting in threads that are already pretty much trashed, though.



  • @Cap'n Steve said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    @DaveK said:
    trolly trolly troll troll
    What the fuck are you bitches babbling about?

    I know you're trying to make that your catchphrase, but please stop.

    I only use it at appropriate times, when the previous poster is either way off base or posting obvious flamebait or just can't form a complete thought. 

    Ironically, I never used it in a SpectateSwamp thread, where it would be most appropriate.

    Also, the other forum goers have no problem with it.  Why do you?  The only reason I would stop is if it got old (like "plz send me teh codez"), but I'm ADD, so things get old and become interesting again to me at an alarming rate.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    Also, the other forum goers have no problem with it.  Why do you?  The only reason I would stop is if it got old (like "plz send me teh codez"), but I'm ADD, so things get old and become interesting again to me at an alarming rate.
    Oh, please.  If the wooden table is still considered funny, NOTHING can get old on this forum.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    Also, the other forum goers have no problem with it.  Why do you?
     

    Because the other forum posters you are referring to are not trolls.There is a definite pattern here. He always comes in at the end of a perfectly fine thread, declares it ruined by me, and then flames away. Don't get caught up in it. As Lingerance so eloquently put it... "Lysis mode".



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    Because the other forum posters you are referring to are not trolls.There is a definite pattern here. He always comes in at the end of a perfectly fine thread, declares it ruined by me, and then flames away. Don't get caught up in it. As Lingerance so eloquently put it... "Lysis mode".

    What the f-  .... err, thanks!

     



  • @DaveK said:

    Hey, it might be a bit of a load, but there's no need to dump on him!  Sure, we could have lived without the story, and maybe the wording was a bit cack-handed, but didn't most of us come here to talk crap anyway?  Besides, he's got to talk to somebody about it, you can't make poor Snoofle hold it all in forever; sooner or later he's got to let go, or it'll all come flooding out.

    Anyhow, many people find their faith helps them hold back the horrors of the night.  So if you're still plagued by dreams of anuses, maybe you should say a prayer for all Our Souls? 

     

     I propose that we all take you method of replies to heart.  anytime you want to quote just print out the complete post and scan it back in. 



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    OMG, KenW, I think you just got served!
     

    Right. Like I worry about what the incestuous partner of Lysis thinks. I worry more about the stench. It might sneak through the tubes and smell up my office. 



  • @KenW said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    OMG, KenW, I think you just got served!
     

    Right. Like I worry about what the incestuous partner of Lysis thinks. I worry more about the stench. It might sneak through the tubes and smell up my office. 

     

    Wow.... an "I know you are but what am I" comeback.  How do you come up with such original and witty repartee?



  • @DaveK said:

    Wow.... an "I know you are but what am I" comeback.  How do you come up with such original and witty repartee?

    It's spelled "reparty", dumbass. 


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