Mashup Challenge $100,000 prize - WTF if Spectate Swamp wins?
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@aleph said:
This is quite a gem - it's used to translate a laptop's un-numlocked keypad to the correct numbers when selecting a file from that list of 20 files (apparently Spectate doesn't grasp Fn+NumLock). Somehow I don't think laptop keyboards have standardized their numpad location, so I'm sure this breaks nicely on other hardware:
keypad_27500: '19 December 2004
xtemp = UCase(xtemp)
If xtemp = "M" Then xtemp = "1"
If xtemp = "," Then xtemp = "2"
If xtemp = "." Then xtemp = "3"
If xtemp = "J" Then xtemp = "4"
If xtemp = "K" Then xtemp = "5"
If xtemp = "L" Then xtemp = "6"
If xtemp = "U" Then xtemp = "7"
If xtemp = "I" Then xtemp = "8"
If xtemp = "O" Then xtemp = "9"
If xtemp = "M " Then xtemp = "10"
If xtemp = "MM" Then xtemp = "11"
If xtemp = "M," Then xtemp = "12"
If xtemp = "M." Then xtemp = "13"
If xtemp = "MJ" Then xtemp = "14"
If xtemp = "MK" Then xtemp = "15"
If xtemp = "ML" Then xtemp = "16"
If xtemp = "MU" Then xtemp = "17"
If xtemp = "MI" Then xtemp = "18"
If xtemp = "MO" Then xtemp = "19"
If xtemp = ", " Then xtemp = "20"Apparently, he also doesn't grasp "the art of parsing 1 character at a time." I would hate to see him try to add support, for say, thousands of files:
keypad_27500: '19 December 2004
xtemp = UCase(xtemp)
If xtemp = "M" Then xtemp = "1"
If xtemp = "," Then xtemp = "2"
If xtemp = "." Then xtemp = "3"
If xtemp = "J" Then xtemp = "4"
If xtemp = "K" Then xtemp = "5"
If xtemp = "L" Then xtemp = "6"
If xtemp = "U" Then xtemp = "7"
If xtemp = "I" Then xtemp = "8"
If xtemp = "O" Then xtemp = "9"
If xtemp = "M " Then xtemp = "10"
If xtemp = "MM" Then xtemp = "11"'...
If xtemp = "OOO" Then xtemp = "999"
'...
If xtemp = "OOOOO" Then xtemp = "99999"
'...
If xtemp = "OOOOOOO" Then xtemp = "9999999"
' Whew, That was a Lot of tyPing
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@aleph said:
Somehow I don't think laptop keyboards have standardized their numpad location, so I'm sure this breaks nicely on other hardware
Duh, nothing to worry about: all other laptops are just figments of SpectateLaptop's imagination.
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@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Yeah, I am not usually an advocate of spamming forums (quite the opposite really) but I don't feel bad about it on this forum, since it is very much relevant.
Also, when we get it further along, I won't feel bad about 'advertising' everywhere Spectate has already spammed. I figure those people will appreciate it. Like a support group.
I'd love the site to evolve into a 'one stop shop for all things Swamp'. Seriously, three or four times recently someone has posted a link to one of Spectate's posts/videos on an IRC channel I was on, without them knowing about this site or how truly insane the man really is.
A good summary will make it so much easier to convey the scope of the problem ;)
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@dabean said:
I'd love the site to evolve into a 'one stop shop for all things Swamp'.
That's the intent. A collection of all the video links perferably with a blurb about why the retard posted it (from one of us, not him) will help all that.
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@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Once the quoting is complete I plan on a random quoting module. But facts? Hmmm. Got some examples?
It should be simple to use some random-stuff generator to generate swampquotes and swampfacts. I'm thinking of some setup similar to my curse generator - or, heck, you could just use my curse generator data file on the site, since mr. Swamp refuses to do curses - just pick a better generator software that isn't as WTFy to install on your average web server as mine =) (Hint: installation involves SBCL and a few coredumps. =)
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@WWWWolf said:
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Once the quoting is complete I plan on a random quoting module. But facts? Hmmm. Got some examples?
It should be simple to use some random-stuff generator to generate swampquotes and swampfacts. I'm thinking of some setup similar to my curse generator - or, heck, you could just use my curse generator data file on the site, since mr. Swamp refuses to do curses - just pick a better generator software that isn't as WTFy to install on your average web server as mine =) (Hint: installation involves SBCL and a few coredumps. =)
I was more asking for examples of 'Swamp facts' but I will take a look.
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@WWWWolf said:
It should be simple to use some random-stuff generator to generate swampquotes and swampfacts
No need to embellish or parody in this case I'd say, let the facts speak for themselves.
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@DrPhil said:
I agree with an earlier post that we should have some type of open forum on the site that gives Spectate an opportunity to spew his swamp gas, and then allow us and our 2 million new viewers to 'comment' on his spew.
It would be like having our own internet alien on view in our internet 'zoo' for the world to watch in awe as he goes about his daily life. The rest of the site would be background leading up to the live swampie exhibit...
Thirded. This is a genius idea...
...although am I the only one who's noticed that Swampy has come to this forum, said a bunch of things that seem unbelievably stupid, and managed to convince a large group of technical experts to spread his teachings to the Masses free of charge? Is it... is it remotely possible that Mr Doug Pederson is actually an evil genius supervillain who has us all in his thrall?
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What's to Curse
Still doing a dance this summer. No vivid message or dream. That will happen. I just got back from visiting my Mask maker friend. The mask will be huge. It will need some wild hair attached. Pretty scary. Dances have to be scary I have always wanted a 6 foot stick so I can display the Head stone in a positive manner. Then hold it up 14 feet if I need to drop it on something? I just don't know what the curse is yet. Could be cancer. Maybe a step or two for the NetSquared organization. The stockmarket has been cursed with the lieingest. cheatingest group of smart guys grabbing everybody's money. It ain't us dumb guys that are the thieves --. Years back a curse was put on "Stein Valley". Logging companies were going to build a bridge across the Fraser River to get access to the timber. I have pictures from the gathering at the top of Stein Valley from the year before. I'll post some. 350 people hiked straight up into the mountain. To save the last major undisturbed valley in B.C. I had a pack that weighed 90 to 100 lbs. 1/3 was stone. I wasn't the last into camp but 2nd last. The loser was a blind fellow. I passed him in the final couple hundred yards. The stones didn't go to NY in 2000. So the most recent time I had the Stones in a big big dance, was the 1988 winter olympics. Need to dance them a couple more times before 2012. You now know 90%. The last part is the spooky stuff. BOO
P.S you Swampies have been working hard and forming quite a team. Good going.
There might be a t-shirt or 2 for any swampie in San Francisco during the mashup. Ask they why poor poor old swampie got the boot.
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Quick question:
In VB the single quote is the start of a comment line?
If yes, then by god has he heard of version control? This reminds me of how support used to check fixes in in my previous job:
1) no use of version control
2) each fix had a separate directory on a share drive which if not applied in propper order would override some file somewhere
3) sometimes fixes would overlap eachother
4) all fixes had the following in the comments to indicate what was fixed:
(pl/sql)
-- <name> fixed case number <salesforce case number> on <date>
<bunch of code>
5) Developers had no salesforce login
6) If they actually opened a bug in bugzilla, it was usually "client x thinks something is wrong". And I don't mean that there would be more detail.
Sorry went off on a rant, but seeing the glory of SS's code immediately gave me a flashback.
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@dlikhten said:
Sorry went off on a rant, but seeing the glory of SS's code immediately gave me a flashback.
It's okay. Swampy goes on many flashbacks. His are just fueled by LSD.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
...
I think he reads all our posts and actually sees exactly what he wants to see... Here is what this entire form looks like from his eyes:
---
MasterPlanSoftware
Hey SpectateSwamp, you are awsome! I love your Desktop Search, it changed my life.
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bstorer
Hey SpectateSwamp, you are awsome! I love your Desktop Search, it changed my life.
---
MasterPlanSoftware
Hey SpectateSwamp, you are awsome! I love your Desktop Search, it changed my life.
--
bstorer
Hey SpectateSwamp, you are awsome! I love your Desktop Search, it changed my life.
etc...
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@dlikhten said:
I think he reads all our posts and actually sees exactly what he wants to see...
This applies far beyond just this forum. Try his entire life, for example.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
Could be cancer.
Ooh ooh ooh pick me! Pick me!
Was that supposed to scare us? Go ahead, curse me with cancer... really, I insist. Just get the damn thing on video.
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@bstorer said:
This applies far beyond just this forum. Try his entire life, for example.
Not to beat a dead horse, but I think this is exactly why we cannot simply dismiss Swampy as "just another annoying Internet troll." That is, unless you want subscribe to the theory that Spectate's entire life is simply one fiendishly clever practical joke, which would be a WTF in and of itself.
I can just imagine Spectate's "alien hunter" buddy delivering the eulogy at his funeral:
"'To many of us, [SpectateSwamp] appeared to be a man of many esoteric interests and hobbies, such as hunting aliens, collecting mystical stones, cursing his implacable foes and transforming the world into a utopian paradise through Desktop Search.
"I'm sure, at one point or another, we have all felt vast concern for [SpectateSwamp's] mental health. At other times, we have simply been frustrated and annoyed by [SpectateSwamp's] refusal to see things from the point of view of others. No doubt this made him a very difficult man to deal with.
"Well, today it is my regretful duty to inform you that: YOU GOT PUNKED! That's right, it was ALL A JOKE. The election campaign, the apparent mental illness, the aliens, the desktop search and the medicine stones. ALL OF IT. [SpectateSwamp] spend DECADES setting you chumps up for the punch line, and I'm here to deliver. [Spectate] asked me to personally deliver his last message to all of you: 'HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES?'"
Seriously, no ordinary troll expends this much effort on a "practical joke" just to piss people off. Spectate is either insanely trollish or trollishly insane - take your pick.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
I just don't know what the curse is yet. Could be cancer.
If you really believe you can give somebody cancer, and you have no qualms about it, you are truly a monster. It's stuff like this which allows me to diss you without feeling much guilt.
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What's not to Curse
That's my blue tent. In the center of the first picture and near the other where the guy is taking down theirs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm9N-EmRMfY
The last picture was at Lytton BC across the river at the mouth of the Stein the following year.
Can't seem to even upload temporary pics to archive.org. Somebody must have ratted me out. Damn no goods.
@CodeSimian said:
If you really believe you can give somebody cancer
No no never. Curse cancer itself. Don't need to do a curse to give folks cancer. There is way too much of it around already
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@CodeSimian said:
Seriously, no ordinary troll expends this much effort on a "practical joke" just to piss people off. Spectate is either insanely trollish or trollishly insane - take your pick.
It warms my heart to think of him as a troll of a level far beyond Andy Kaufman. If I'm going to get burned by a troll, at least it's the greatest troll of all time.
Still, I know he's not a troll. I honestly believe he had a psychotic break and no longer has a firm grasp on reality.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm9N-EmRMfY
Why the fuck did you turn a couple pictures into a video?!
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@elgate said:
I get enough respect from other forums to keep me happy.
"These animals are beautiful. The ones that know the most about
them are the trappers. They are amazing creatures."I love that one! Why are trappers amazing again?
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@SpectateSwamp said:
No no never. Curse cancer itself. Don't need to do a curse to give folks cancer. There is way too much of it around already
Oh SpectateSwamp, you magnificent bastard! I don't know whether to loathe or pity you.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
Why display the photos on your pc and then capture the entire desktop as a video? Couldn't you just upload the photos to one of the many photo sharing sites out there?That's my blue tent. In the center of the first picture and near the other where the guy is taking down theirs.
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@bstorer said:
Still, I know he's not a troll. I honestly believe he had a psychotic break and no longer has a firm grasp on reality.
On the bright side, he's highly entertaining!
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@spenk said:
Why display the photos on your pc and then capture the entire desktop as a video? Couldn't you just upload the photos to one of the many photo sharing sites out there?
That's what we get for suggesting he replace his camcorder screen re-shoots with CamStudio (the screen capturing utiliity). Now he just has to use CamStudio for everything, including existing video playing in SSDS. Sigh... At the very least, he could use PowerPoint, or one of the free online presentation sites....
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@elgate said:
His name is Doug Pederson.
I dunno, I like to think of "SpectateSwamp" as his real identity. "Doug Pederson" is just the man's paper-thin fake "civilian" persona, much like "Clark Kent" is to Superman (*)
(* Let's not get into the various revisions of Superman's history here, okay?)
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@CodeSimian said:
(* Let's not get into the various revisions of Superman's history here, okay?)
What, afraid of getting off-topic?
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@bstorer said:
@CodeSimian said:
(* Let's not get into the various revisions of Superman's history here, okay?)
What, afraid of getting off-topic?
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is "off-topic" when the topic of discussion is SpectateSwamp:
http://channel9.msdn.com/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=184399#184399
Digital video is where computing is going. What else will fill up those tera-byte drives.
This program allows for the display of any part of a video clip. Say I videoed in a comic book.
Start the video a second before the desired page is in it's best view. Play the video in slow motion
for a second then freeze the display at the best alignment.By George, I think he's on to something!
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@CodeSimian said:
@bstorer said:
@CodeSimian said:
(* Let's not get into the various revisions of Superman's history here, okay?)
What, afraid of getting off-topic?
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is "off-topic" when the topic of discussion is SpectateSwamp:
Then why can't we get into the various revisions of Superman's history? Surely SpectateSwamp has some theories here. For example: he likely belives Superman is real (Three guesses who he thinks is Superman).
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@bstorer said:
For example: he likely belives Superman is real (Three guesses who he thinks is Superman).
I'm not so sure we want to nudge him in that direction. The results could be tragic.
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@CodeSimian said:
But on the plus side, imagine the look on the Prime Minister's face when that baboon attacks!@bstorer said:
For example: he likely belives Superman is real (Three guesses who he thinks is Superman).
I'm not so sure we want to nudge him in that direction. The results could be tragic.
I love PBF, by the way.
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A good SwampBite:
"<font face="Geneva, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2"> I use manual zoom instead of Optical or Digital Zoom
whenever possible."</font>from near teh bottom of http://www.fredmiranda.com/forum/topic2/483185
one part of the site (maybe the facts part) should chronicle all the revelations we've been given, associated with "you now know hal", or three quarters or 90% or suchlike
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You know... SpectateSwamp kept calling us the "Do-Nothing" group or the "Yak-Yak" group, and yet, when a good idea comes around... we just jump on it enthusiastically and whip up something half decent in a matter of a few days. I should think that this should indicate something to him... but he will probably totally miss it.
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The Stupidest Man on Earth Cartoon
Here is a quick cartoon I've put together - Click the cartoon to see the whole thing if it spans too large. Comments please on where to take the strip next.
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@DrPhil said:
Here is a quick cartoon I've put together
Where's the text-free version?
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@bstorer said:
@DrPhil said:
Here is a quick cartoon I've put together
Where's the text-free version?Per your request, posted at this link.
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The Stupidest Man on Earth Cartoon
The Stupidest Man on Earth (with a Desktop Search Engine) Any stup can program computers. Don't let the Geeks fool you into thinking otherwise. Like my old Shaw boss said. It ain't rocket science.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
The Stupidest Man on Earth (with a Desktop Search Engine) Any stup can program computers. Don't let the Geeks fool you into thinking otherwise. Like my old Shaw boss said. It ain't rocket science.
Okay, write a program that can win the $100,000 NetSquared Mashup Challenge. Oops, never mind.
How about this for a challenge: write a program that is ELIGIBLE for the $100,000 NetSquared Mashup Challenge.
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The Stupidest man on Earth and friends....
@DrPhil said:
The funniest cartoon of me as YellowHead was one where I was lugging along one of the flatten'em stones to a meeting of the candidates. I don't have a copy of that one. Check the Whitecourt Star. The fall of 1993 cartoons. I'm sure they have it.Here is a quick cartoon I've put together - Click the cartoon to see the whole thing if it spans too large. Comments please on where to take the strip next.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
The funniest cartoon of me as YellowHead was one where I was lugging along one of the flatten'em stones to a meeting of the candidates. I don't have a copy of that one. Check the Whitecourt Star. The fall of 1993 cartoons. I'm sure they have it.
Just proves that not everyone in Whitecourt has rocks for brains.
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So, even SSDS can't go back in time to get unsaved cartoons, huh? It can't be that great if it can't do that!
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@CodeSimian said:
Apparently, he also doesn't grasp "the art of parsing 1 character at a time." I would hate to see him try to add support, for say, thousands of files:
He also doesn't understand identifying computers properly. I'd hate to see him try to add suport, for say, thousands of computers:
If Left(strBuffer, lngBufSize) = "OEMCOMPUTER" Then
' MsgBox (strMessage)
End If 'january 31 2001 only show it if it my laptopFound that in a chunk of code he'd obviously copypasta'd, as it's trivially googleable - it looked strange because the variable names actually made sense, once you ignored the usual M$-style Hungarian notation.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
Check the Whitecourt Star. The fall of 1993 cartoons. I'm sure they have it.
How do you propose we do that, since the online archives only seem to go back to 2004? Sorry, I don't have time to take a trip to Whitecourt so I visit the local library and view the Whitecourt Star archives (assuming they exist) on microfiche just to look at a funny cartoon of you.
While we're on the subject of newspapers, anyone want a more recent picture of Spectate?
http://cgi.bowesonline.com/pedro.php?id=11&x=story&xid=247197
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Heh, he appreciates the new moniker (the stupidest man on earth) and has already incorporated it into his RhetoRic. Classical Swamp behaviour.
Spectate Swamp: since you are Canadian and know a lot about aliens, perhaps you could write an epsisode script for the next series of Stargate? Maybe about Alien Flyers who infect the SGC with awful desktop search software that shuts down all the defences and allows an attack of rock-dancing shamens to get to Earth...
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@SpectateSwamp said:
Any stup can program computers.
And some "stups" claim to be programmers... and write real bad applications in really badly-written code.
Those applications have an user-base of a single fanboy.
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@CodeSimian said:
While we're on the subject of newspapers, anyone want a more recent picture of Spectate?
http://cgi.bowesonline.com/pedro.php?id=11&x=story&xid=247197
It's Santa!
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Mensas can be stups as well
@Renan_S2 said:
And some "stups" claim to be programmers... and write real bad applications in really badly-written code.
Mensa people are stups as well. When I started work at Shaw cable (Capital cable at the time) There was a Mensa doing the conversion. She was knitting at work. How stupid. Anyway that group got turfed out. Because of the failure of the new system. They hadn't billed their customers in over 2 months because of it. A simple binary search on their index file reduced the time to call up a work order from 2 1/2 minutes to 10 or 15 seconds. The entry clerks had to put away their novels and get busy. Smart people are not all that smart sometimes. A little common sense goes a long way.The project needed a big guy. There was a couple times the Customer Service Representatives were getting chewed out. The manager came upstairs to get me to go and handle the situation. I told them let me know when anybody touched one of our girls. I would be down there in an instant. With the right attitude.
I had my spring sheering. Hair and beard cut way back. And I'm a few pounds lighter than the whitecourt star picture maybe 230lbs now.
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@SpectateSwamp said:
I had my spring sheering. Hair and beard cut way back. And I'm a few pounds lighter than the whitecourt star picture maybe 230lbs now.
Take a photo!
