🔥🔥 MLP Resume Boning :giggity:



  • Continuing the discussion from ‭🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD:

    @anonymous234 said:

    This is an old picture but it definitely belongs in "the very bad ideas thread".

    http://i.imgur.com/UwD72zQ.jpg



  • Under "Favorites" I read languages: C, Python; editor: vim; subjects: masochism.

    Not sure I read it wrong, either.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    I guess it's the employment version of assortative mating.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    If that résumé crossed my desk, I would put it in the circular file, after I called him up to tell him why the fuck I am doing so.

    I wish there were some way to find out if he ever got hired from that résumé. My guess is no.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    I wish there were some way to find out if he ever got hired from that résumé. My guess is no.

    Oh, I'm sure some wacky hipster startup is just waiting for that guy.



  • I'd read that guy's resume all the way through.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    If that résumé crossed my desk, I would put it in the circular file, after I called him up to tell him why the fuck I am doing so.

    You hate fun?


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    I don't hate fun. But I wouldn't employ anyone who submitted that for a professional résumé.

    Are you a Brony?



  • @Polygeekery said:

    But I wouldn't employ anyone who submitted that for a professional résumé.

    Because...?

    What's your reason?

    Just some vague offense at it "not being professional"? Well guess what. That guy's an adult, and I'm an adult, and we're the people who get to decide what "professional" is.

    30 years ago, I'd be a pariah for wearing a t-shirt into the office as a programmer. Today, I do that every day. Even t-shirts with logos. Even a t-shirt with the Gears of War logo:

    Get with the program.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    30 years ago, I'd be a pariah for wearing a t-shirt into the office as a programmer. Today, I do that every day. Even t-shirts with logos. Even a t-shirt with the Gears of War logo:

    The key point is "30 years ago". Versus today.

    In other words, if 30 years ago you showed up in a tie and suit kind of office wearing that t-shirt, everyone would think you are crazy or looking to get fired.

    Maybe little pony CV-s will be standard 30 years in the future, but today? I'd worry what other crazy shit you might pull if I hired you.



  • @cartman82 said:

    Maybe little pony CV-s will be standard 30 years in the future, but today?

    What is the reason they are inappropriate today?

    An actual reason. Not just a kneejerk, "well I don't like it".

    Because I can't come up with one. Except the one I already came up with: you people just hate fun.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    What is the reason they are inappropriate today?

    An actual reason. Not just a kneejerk, "well I don't like it".

    Because I can't come up with one. Except the one I already came up with: you people just hate fun.

    They just are.

    Never mind the reason.

    The point is, society at large requires certain level of conformity with its standards, whatever they are. Be it wearing a tie, pants, not spitting or burping in public, whatever. By observing these rules, whatever you think about them, you're saying to your fellow humans "See? I am civilized. I can play your game. You know what to expect of me. I won't cut your throat, steal your women and pee on the Persian carpet."

    Going back to this guy, sure, he's free to present his CV information using Little Pony cartoons. It doesn't detract too much from the content. If he's some kind of a hotshot, it might even work in his favor.

    But more likely, employers will just wonder, "What's wrong with this guy? Doesn't he know this isn't the expected mode of behavior in this situation? What other shit can we expect from him? What if he showers only once a month? What if he shows up dressed as a horse and neighs during client meetings? I better put this to the bottom of the pile, and look at one of the other 100 normal-looking CV-s I have on my desk."

    Whatever the reasons behind it, showcasing your cartoon preference in your CV is NOT appropriate in the current societal order.

    Therefore, this CV rightly belongs in the BAD BAD ideas thread.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @blakeyrat said:

    30 years ago, I'd be a pariah for wearing a t-shirt into the office as a programmer. Today, I do that every day. Even t-shirts with logos. Even a t-shirt with the Gears of War logo:

    Yeah? So what? A résumé should be vaguely professional. In the interview process, people are at their most professional. It only goes downhill from there. If they start off that stupidly, I can only imagine what the slide would be to.

    Most of the work people do for me is done from their home. They probably work lots of days in t-shirts and boxer shorts. I would wager they occasionally take a break and jerk off. But if someone shows up in their underwear for a job interview and jerks off halfway through the meeting, I won't fucking hire them either.



  • @cartman82 said:

    They just are.

    Never mind the reason.

    So I respond with a hearty: fuck you.

    And I'm not reading the rest of your idiotic posts which probably sums to, "kids these days! Get off my lawn!"

    @Polygeekery said:

    Yeah? So what? A résumé should be vaguely professional. In the interview process, people are at their most professional.

    You're missing the point.

    Why isn't it "professional"? An actual reason.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @blakeyrat said:

    You're missing the point.

    Why isn't it "professional"? An actual reason.

    You're missing the point. It doesn't fit the definition of " professional". There is your reason.

    That definition may change. But at this point in time, it does not conform to the definition of the word.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    You're missing the point. It doesn't fit the definition of " professional". There is your reason.

    That definition may change. But at this point in time, it does not conform to the definition of the word.

    BUT WHY, POLYGUY!? WHY DO YOU HATE FUN!? WHY!!!???


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    Fun is not fun for me. I prefer toil, drudgery, conformism and other such things.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    I think the "My Little Résumé" is stupid because I don't think adults should be having anything to do with My Little Pony.

    That said - if I received this I'd laugh at it (for quite a while) but if the words between the stupid ponies made the person sound like otherwise the right person, they'd still get an interview.

    As far as I'm concerned "I'm an adult male who likes My Little Pony" is no indicator of how good or bad they'd be at an IT job. It makes them just as likely to be annoying as if the same résumé was submitted in a more traditional format but still said "Favourite Editor: Vim" on it.


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    @loopback0 said:

    As far as I'm concerned "I'm an adult male who likes My Little Pony" is no indicator of how good or bad they'd be at an IT job.

    But it does tell me that they are highly unlikely to be a person I want to work with. I mean, if you are in to it but it is not a large part of your existence to the point that they make a résumé written in third-person (third...-pony?) with a cartoon theme, that's fine. As soon as I get a MLP-themed résumé, I feel I can safely make the judgment call that you will annoy me.

    Talent is not everything. He might be great at his job. I still won't want to work with him.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    I would wager they occasionally take a break and jerk off.

    Who would do this?!? OMG! :wasntme:


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Polygeekery said:

    I still won't want to work with him.

    And I probably don't want to either, but I feel I've got a better chance of working that out in a face-to-face situation than based on his résumé.
    Besides I don't own the company, I do sometimes have to take the personal aspect of "I wouldn't want to work with that person" out of it if they seem like they'd be good at their job.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    But it does tell me that they are highly unlikely to be a person I want to work with.

    You didn't even TALK to him, you asshole.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    So what? You know the old adage about "You can't judge a book by its cover"? Yeah, that's bullshit. Sometimes you can. When that cover says, "1,001 My Little Pony Fan Fics", I can judge that cover. I don't want to read that book.

    His cover says that he is highly unprofessional.

    Also, I am pretty sure you are a Brony.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    His cover says that he is highly unprofessional.

    In your opinion.

    @Polygeekery said:

    Also, I am pretty sure you are a Brony.

    Irrelevant.


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    @blakeyrat said:

    In your opinion.

    In the opinion of most people.


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    @blakeyrat said:

    Irrelevant.

    Relevant, and true.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    Relevant, and true.

    I don't see "Brony" as an insult, if that's what you mean.

    I haven't even watched any of the TV show past the second season. If watching a season and a half of the show counts with you, then ok. There you go.

    There's nothing wrong with that resume though.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @blakeyrat said:

    There's nothing wrong with that resume though.

    🐄 💩



  • Mock me if you like, but I don't make decisions based on random knee-jerk reactions instead of my own independent thought.

    Until you come up with an actual reason to reject that resume, I don't give a shit what you think. Because you haven't thought.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @blakeyrat said:

    Until you come up with an actual reason to reject that resume, I don't give a shit what you think.

    I reject it because it is unprofessional. I already stated that. Now do you care what I think?



  • @loopback0 said:

    As far as I'm concerned "I'm an adult male who likes My Little Pony" is no indicator of how good or bad they'd be at an IT job. It makes them just as likely to be annoying as if the same résumé was submitted in a more traditional format but still said "Favourite Editor: Vim" on it.

    Might be hint at a maturity problem, they clearly don't know what kind of 💩 doesn't belong in the workplace.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @loopback0 said:

    I think the "My Little Résumé" is stupid because I don't think adults should be having anything to do with My Little Pony.

    I'm cool with one enjoying kids shows with one's kids. There are several (many?) franchises towards which I have many fond memories of watching with my kids. Part of the fun is that they liked it. That's not what we're dealing with here.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @blakeyrat said:

    @Polygeekery said:
    But it does tell me that they are highly unlikely to be a person I want to work with.

    You didn't even TALK to him, you asshole.

    You have a point. It's not like he shared his github username or anything, right?


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @blakeyrat said:

    I haven't even watched any of the TV show past the second season. If watching a season and a half of the show counts with you, then ok. There you go.

    Do you wish you were a female horse with a tramp stamp? Yes or no?


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    http://pjreddie.com

    Apparently he outed himself and a Google search revealed it, if you want to know more about the guy.


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    @Polygeekery said:

    Do you wish you were a female horse with a tramp stamp? Yes or no?

    Nah, horses are a little too large. Also, can't fly, BOOORING! In fa-- Notice: Unauthorized Personality Module (Ps1_3) has been activated! Resource hooks for PonySona1.3 have been applied to external-facing interfaces! Session Start...
    Hiya! I'm Bridging Aspects, you wanna know if I wish I were a mare?
    Nope! Happy as a stallion!
    As far as the resume is concerned, Eh, could use some help from a graphic designer. The background for the majority of the text was probably not a good idea, and it's way too "wordy" for what's supposed to be a "My career at a glance" page.

    Overall, this might be a good idea for an artistic position, but even then it's fairly apparent that this individual's artistic extent of ability (from a glance) is just recolors of stencils.
    This page isn't suitable to be used as a resume per se because (despite attempts at creativity) it's too difficult to quickly ascertain relevant information from it, despite the lack of buzzwords and the like, and the use of third person.
    At best, this would be suitable in the "About Myself" section of some profile.

    Personally, if I were to go this route, I probably would have not used a (probably) copyrighted font and kept the imagery to a minimum. While cute, the re-colored ponies distract from the content and indeed interrupt the flow of the document (which is why it's difficult to scan through, the most likely scenario for someone expected to review resumes). Maybe a small picture of myself in the corner or something to make it stand out from the masses of black-and-white other entries, but not full page color. I would also have kept the exposition to a minimum; if they want to know more about what I did, that's what an interview is for, no need to shove a story around if all they want is the 20-second version.

    Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. Ciao!
    Module Ps1_3 disposed. Restoring Resource Hooks...
    ct, I would...

    Wait, what just happened? I... wha..
    Well. So, everyone, meet my OC? 👀?


    Filed under: Frick, what happened to the Censor module? ■■■■ System ■■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■■ the ■■■■■■■■■■■!


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    Given all of that, would you call the résumé professional or unprofessional?


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    @Polygeekery said:

    Given all of that, would you call the résumé professional or unprofessional?

    Depends on the profession. Making assumptions that he's applying to some kind of high-end computer-based place, I would lean on less than professional, as it doesn't necessarily "fit in" with the style, cadence, format, and general appearance of your standard, boring, resume.

    All in all, if he was going for an impression, he's got one. Whether that earned him more than a passing chuckle or a serious consideration, who knows?

    He's obviously confident in his position in any case, for how much that's worth towards obtaining success.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    If he was applying for a job with a MLP fansite, I would say he knocked it out of the park.

    For anything else, not so much.



  • Here, if you want to keep your unemployment benefits, you are required to apply to a certain number of jobs (all over Sweden, IIRC) no matter how badly they fit, or how impractical it would be for you (like having to commute 900 km one way on a bike). I might consider using a MLP themed resumé for job applications like that.

    Also, is it better to have a MS-Word Template #001 resumé? And then find your company discussion forum filled with click-for-a-unicorn buttons within a week?



  • Haha!

    Boss: why is the font color of our site in bright rainbow colors?
    MLP: it was meeeee boss! Don't you liiiike it?
    Boss: why you speak like a horse?
    MLP: bright yellow sunshine forgot to take its medicatioooooon today. Brrrrrp!
    Boss: OK, change it back to black as it was.
    MLP: Can't dooooo boss! Black is baaaad and rainbow preeeeeety
    Boss: oh god, I just hope you break a leg sometime soon.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @rc4 said:

    Might be hint at a maturity problem

    It might but I still think there's a better chance to gauge that in a face-to-face interview.

    @boomzilla said:

    I'm cool with one enjoying kids shows with one's kids.

    Yeah, no problem there but as you said...

    @boomzilla said:

    That's not what we're dealing with here.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place





  • @loopback0 said:

    It might but I still think there's a better chance to gauge that in a face-to-face interview.

    Perhaps, but the fact that they put it on a resume rings some big alarm 🔔s in my head.


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    @loopback0 said:

    :wtf: are "Coq tactics"?

    You will find it on Urban Dictionary under "sword fighting".



  • @rc4 said:

    Perhaps, but the fact that they put it on a resume rings some big alarm 🔔s in my head.

    Do you have an actual reason?

    I would love it if just one of you people who are down on that resume actually provided some rational thought to back up your beliefs. Instead of just emotional knee-jerk reasons.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @blakeyrat said:

    Do you have an actual reason?

    I would love it if just one of you people who are down on that resume actually provided some rational thought to back up your beliefs. Instead of just emotional knee-jerk reasons.

    It is not a professional resume. How many times do we have to say it?



  • Whether the person would be a good fit or not for the relevant position is almost irrelevant at that point - the HR gatekeepers will throw it out before it even gets to the hiring manager in most of the companies that we know.

    HR doesn't get the role involvements, they see buzzwords, they see ticking the boxes of skill requirements and trying to make some kind of judgement call as to whether the person would fit the corporate culture.

    Unfortunately most corporate cultures have a staid mentality - they don't want people to be outlandishly creative. They want people with enough creativity to solve problems well, but not enough to disrupt the current culture. As a result, unless the entire corporate culture is already Brony-happy, even where the HR people would be aware of it, this resume is simply too outlandish and the person is perceived - at a glance - as being too different to fit the culture and discarded in to the round filing cabinet.

    At smaller scales where there isn't an explicit HR department, an individual person (a la Polygeekery) might simply look at it and say 'this person wants to be a special snowflake, this is not a good fit for my environment'.

    HR - and smaller places, the CEO/boss - expects a certain level of decorum. Everyone trying to stand out without being outlandish. This veers out of those realms. Since it is not the tone or pitch as would be expected in a professional environment, it got the adjective 'unprofessional'. It's blunt and undescriptive but true.



  • @Polygeekery said:

    It is not a professional resume.

    "Professional" is an opinion. I think it's professional enough.

    @Arantor said:

    Whether the person would be a good fit or not for the relevant position is almost irrelevant at that point - the HR gatekeepers wi

    Blah blah blah, don't change the subject. We're talking about why POSTERS ON DAILYWTF would reject it, not why huge corporate boring HR guy would reject it.


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