OK Google Now, we need to talk
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Hey Google Now,
I don't know what you improved there, but you somehow became LESS relevant in your updates. Sorry for being blunt, but I care ONLY what I actively read about, and I don't give a damn what others in my neighborhood read.
The most frustrating misfeature is that I cannot even tell I'm not interested in those, something that you actually had before. I cannot turn these irrelevant updates off.
Listen up now, Google Now, I've used you for quite a while because you were helping in keeping my Internet hygiene top notch, giving me stuff based on what I actually search for and visit. And now you're just spamming me. You gradually stop being of any use.
Least regards, etc.
P. S. It cost me a fortune in effort and willpower not to use the word "fuck" in this feedback. Oh, I just used it! Well, I don't fucking care, I'm fed up so much with that shit.
This is the actual feedback I've just sent them.
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Huh. It's been a while since I updated Google
SearchApp. The only thing it ever does is tell me what the weather is, what's next on my calendar (Work at 9am! Woohoo!) and a single blog update it somehow figured out I viewed once.
I'm apparently on version 5.5.29.19, while the latest I can get from the Store is 5.6.24.19.arm.
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I dont wanna talk to Google now, am I the only one that thinks this voice command thing silly?
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No, but it is fun to annoy your spouse by saying "OK Google" while they are doing something on their phone. Especially when Google ends up searching for "Damnit honey, I was trying to reply to a work email".
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saying "OK Google"
I do this in meetings sometimes.
(In a loud voice)
Okay google, Send text to (phone number), I'm sorry boss, I'll pay more attention in this meeting. Yes.
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That's beautiful.
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Sometimes I want the song I'm listening to (on the radio, in a restaurant, etc.) so I say "OK Google, what song is this?" and then I buy it on Google Play using the money I got from Google Opinion Rewards. So it's pretty convenient for that.
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money I got from Google Opinion Rewards.
Wow, people are enthusiastic about getting an extra $60 a YEAR?!
I guess...
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I just find it funny that Google pays me to tell them that I don't visit any of the places they send me surveys about.
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tell them
Oh. Well, I suppose it's worth a shot. They already think I like to drink beer for fun, so it's not like the picture can be painted any more inaccurately, right? Might as well have more stuff they can put on Google Now...
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Seriously, why does almost every video I watch on YouTube consist of a beer commercial? Never have I ever indicated I interact with the stuff ever
If you have tracking disabled then you probably just get ads from the highest paying advertiser. Google doesn't give you relevant ads if you tell them not to track you. For example, maybe you have an extension that disables analytics, or you have that Do Not Track tickbox set in your browser settings.
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tracking disabled
Nah, it's definitely enabled, I just never click ads. There's never a "I'm not interested in this" button for ads, just "why am I seeing this?" Which leads to a canned help page.
I would really like to manually personalize my ads, don't try to guess! I went through the Google Profile thing deleting stuff it thought I was interested in.
I would totally find value in that....
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OK Google
Is that that annoying a shit screen that i can't disable that pops up on my phone from time to time? Because fuck that screen. Also, while I'm here, fuck mobile Chrome not accepting non-google search engines so I have to manually type in "startpage.com" every time i want to search for something on my phone like it's fucking 1845 or some shit. Fuck.
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What does this page say when you click the button next to "beer"?
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button next to "beer"?
E_NO_SUCH_ELEMENT
Seems google ignores google's information?
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Beverages, maybe? I dunno. You have to hover over it for the icon to appear.
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Ah. Hovering on Mobile is .
Apparently everything is coming from YouTube.
What does this mean? Since YouTube forced me to watch an ad, therefore I'm interested in the ad, therefore show me an ad like that.
I just went through and un checked 78 percent of them, because, despite never clicking an ad, merely being shown something (forcefully) automatically means I want more.
FML
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It's pretty dumb that watching ads before videos affects which ads you get and not just the videos you actually went there to watch. Surely if I go to YouTube to watch Belgium waffles cooking, I want ads for Belgium waffles, not german cat food.
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Yeah no doubt. If the system worked, there would be like, three things listed, computer programming, techno music, and maybe ponies. What a joke...
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■■■■■■■ waffles cooking
that makes sense because you bake those in an waffle iron if you cook them it will look and taste like
german cat food
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Apparently, I'm not interested into anything
Your interests
You do not have any interests associated with your Google account.
Interests are used to show you ads that are relevant to you.
Interests will be added automatically as you use Google services or you can add specific interests.
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that makes sense because you bake those in an waffle iron if you cook them it will look and taste like
german cat food
Last I checked, baking is a method of cooking. Therefore, your statement (if true) applies equally to the (presumably correct) method of cooking them by baking in a waffle iron as it does to whatever hypothetical incorrect cooking method you were thinking of.
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Dutch doesn't have a dedicated word for cooking - the same word is also used for boiling.
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So TRWTF is Dutch. Well, no surprise there.
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Also, while I'm here, fuck mobile Chrome not accepting non-google search engines so I have to manually type in "startpage.com" every time i want to search for something on my phone like it's fucking 1845 or some shit. Fuck.
You could use Firefox instead ...
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I could. Last time I tried it it was incredibly slow though...