Digital detective mother



  • Once upon a time, my always overjealous mom started having thoughts that maybe, and just maybe, my dad could
    be cheating on her.  So using her vast computer knowledge, she decided to search through my dad's computer files.
    When my dad got home late, tired, from his workday, he noticed something was amiss.  Not that anything was
    wrong with the house "per se", more like that feeling you get when everything is just... too quiet.

    - Honey, I'm home.

    Nothing.
    Definitely, something was wrong.  My dad started searching through the house, to find my mother on their
    bedroom, sitting at the corner, only the lamp on.

    - Hi honey, is everything ok? - dad asked.

    - Sure.  Couldn't be better.  How was the work today?

    - As usual, tiring.  And how was your day?

    - Just fine. - and that's the time she dropped the bomb - So, who is she?

    - She who?

    - Don't you play with me.  I know it all.  Answer me, who is she???

    - Are you crazy, woman?  I don't know what you're talking about!

    - Tell me!!! I've seen it with my own eyes!!! I know it all!!! Do you think I'm stupid??? - my mother,
    now, with tears rolling through her face - DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT COOKIE MEANS??? I KNOW IT!!!
    COOKIE MEANS CUTIE!!! WHO'S THE B***CH CALLING YOU CUTIE OVER THE INTERNET?!?!?!?!?!

    And, to this day, my poor dad has to set cookies=off everytime he browses the web.



  • @Nightshift said:

    COOKIE MEANS CUTIE!!!

    Your mom sounds kinda cookie, er, I mean cute.



  • Is she does this kind of thing to him often, he probably is cheating on her.



  • Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party.

    Human relationships are TRWTF.



  • @vonNeumann said:

    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party. Human relationships are TRWTF.

    And this is why I only date androids.


  • @vonNeumann said:

    Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Second.



  • @lolwtf said:

    @vonNeumann said:
    Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Second.
     

    Agreed. My girlfriend is all jealous about girls I work with, even though she is the one that lives with her boyfriend. Go figure.



  • @Kiss me I'm Polish said:

    @lolwtf said:

    @vonNeumann said:
    Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Second.
     

    Agreed. My girlfriend is all jealous about girls I work with, even though she is the one that lives with her boyfriend. Go figure.

     

     

    Doesn't that mean she lives with you?



  • @vonNeumann said:

    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party.

    Human relationships are TRWTF.

     

    If your dad stops getting cookies from those skanky websites, maybe your mom wont be getting suspicious!

    In any case, tell your dad to password protect his computer next time... O and in this instance, blame microsoft, they invented cookies!



  • @astonerbum said:

    O and in this instance, blame Netscape, they invented cookies!
     

    FTFY



  • @vonNeumann said:

    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party.

    Human relationships are TRWTF.

    Given past experience, this is more of a rule than the exception. When your S.O. launches the jealousy first strike, you're being cheated!!!

    Of course, it could be who you're dating/living with is insane; in which case you're better off alone, lest you end up being the basis for Fatal Attraction 2.



  • @galgorah said:

    And this is why I only date androids.
    I only date military androids.

    Or gynoids, to be more precise.



  • This is why I only date hard-light holograms.



  • This is why I only date girls my wife will never find out about.


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