Guidelines in life
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I’m just a college computer programming student who’s going to be looking for a job soon. I somehow stumbled onto this site recently and have indulged myself with as much knowledge as I can about the “real world”. I’ve got to say, the real world is crueler than I had expected it to be. After having read some really compelling articles, I felt the need to give my opinions about life based on what I’ve learned from here. These are some guidelines on how to survive in life, without regards to ethics. Keep in mind, I have no idea how the corporate world really works, so this is just what I think.
1. "If your manager tells you to jump off a cliff, then you should do it."
Perhaps not to the extreme of getting yourself killed, but common sense won't make your life any easier. In a situation where your incompetent superior tells you to do something that you whole-heartedly know is incorrect, you should still do it anyways. The result appears to be either your job is stalled, and thus you keep your job and paycheck, or you get fired. In another possibility, you get fired for either agreeing or disagreeing with your superior. If you agree, then you get blamed; and if you disagree, you get fired. So you might as well let the company plunge, ride out the waves for as long as you can, and then move on to a better company when the time comes.
This was based on
2. "Throw your client under the bus if they cause you trouble."
For the freelancers, you only agree to do what's stated by the contract. If a client asks for a sudden modification, then you would expect them to compensate you fairly. Sometimes, the client may not happy with the final outcome of the project because of their delusional misunderstanding of today’s technology. Worst yet, they might refuse to learn how to use it properly and then blame you for all their shortcomings. In cases like this, you first shove the contract into their face (what has been stated is done), demand the rest of the payment (threaten with legal action if necessary), and then walk off. Whether the project turned out well or not, you got your pay and now it is their problem.
This was based on
Freelance Fun with Dick and Jane
When you're a freelance software developer and the relatives come calling, you learn quickly - if you want to keep your business afloat - how to let them down easy. When friends of relatives come calling, however, it gets tougher, especially when they're as enthusiastic as Jane. Dick's second...
3. "Don't be innovative at work unless necessary."
There have been many cases where an employee is tired from doing a repetitively mundane task, and then realize that they could just create a script that could automatically do it for them instead. Ultimately, this saves the company time and money. Also, it ends up making the staff redundant, including that employee who caused it, and thus they all lose their job. However, in cases where the company is an innovative tech company, then doing so may earn that employee a promotion, at the expense of all those other redundant employees losing their job...
4. "Don't touch anything! Let it all burn down to the ground..."
In corporate environments where any slight operation requires filling out forms and signatures before doing so, nothing may ever get done. And just when you think it's as simple as that, you find out that much of the necessary people are on vacation. Everyone only cares about their job, their nice paycheck, their reputation, and wouldn't want any of that to be tarnished in any way. Therefore, no one takes responsibility into their own hands, except for those poor newcomers who have recently graduated and completed their ethics course. As long as corporate papers say that you are to refrain from taking actions into your own hands, then the best thing to do for your own sake is to just sit back, relax, and watch the company servers burn.
This was based on http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Slaves-to-The-Process.aspx
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I’d really like your opinions on this, which ones you agree or disagree with. Perhaps you could even add your own guidelines to life. Honestly, I would actually have a hard time following these guidelines I've made, but I’m under the assumption that doing so is the only way to make life more tolerable.
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@ElectricMouse said:
I’ve got to say, the real world is crueler than I had expected it to be.
Understand that this place is a potent concentrated paste of all the shit in IT Land. It doesn't even flow when you take off the lid.
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Do you want a simple life, or would you like some challenge? I guess that how far you stick to such guidelines will change over time ... if you are bored and need entertainment, for example.
"There's a time for everything"
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@ElectricMouse said:
1. "If your manager tells you to jump
off a cliff, then you should do it."No. Oh, sure pick your battles. If the boss says "Make the text pink! I like pink!" you're probably just better off making the goddamn text pink. But if your boss tells you to do something really wrong or unethical, don't do it. If you get fired, then that was a shitty place to work and you are now free of it. You live in the Western world (I assume). You're not going to starve. Don't do something slimy just to appease your boss; it's not worth it.
@ElectricMouse said:
2. "Throw your client under the bus if
they cause you trouble."I mean, I don't know if I'd put it that way. If you did the work for a client and they're just refusing to pay because they are unreasonable or had unrealistic expectations, then sue 'em. But I'd at least try to work with them and figure out what went wrong first. If it's a small bit of work to make them happy, just do it. If it's a lot of work, tell them you're going to have to charge, then get them to pay the old invoice first. That's not throwing them under the bus, that's just protecting yourself.
Unless your customer is being a real dick, it's not worth treating them like shit. I've had a lot of good come my way because I go the extra step to make sure people are happy. I've had customers and internal customers (e.g. support people) rave about how I'm their favorite engineer of all time because I actually listen to them and try to find a solution to their problem, instead of just treating them like shit. And this has paid me back by making me a lot of connections.
@ElectricMouse said:
3. "Don't be innovative at work unless
necessary."No. Seriously, just do the smart thing. First off, no company worth working at is going to fire you because you wrote a script to make a process easier. They're probably going to be so amazed that they ask you to fix other problems, too. (Yes, there are probably some companies that would fire you, but fuck them.) Mostly, just do your job to the best of your ability, and you'll be fine. The worst they can do is fire you, and it's just a goddamn job. Besides, would you want to keep working for jackasses who can't recognize valuable employees? They'll probably be out of business soon.
Do your best. It may not pay off right away, but 5 years down the road when you're interviewing for your dream job, you'll be glad you didn't fall into the trap of taking the easy way out.
@ElectricMouse said:
4. "Don't touch anything! Let it all burn
down to the ground..."Once again, just do your best. If you get stuck at a place where you are a slave to process, look for another job. Don't give in to the temptation to just sit around. You will be falling behind by not developing your skill set for real, on the job. Then one day your entire, bloated department will be slashed, the process thrown out and you will be laid off (since you clearly haven't been doing anything the last few years.) Then you will go to interviews and they will know you've been doing nothing the last few years, and only the worst companies won't pass on you.
Morbs' guidelines:
Listen to your users. They're smarter than you probably give them credit for. If they tell you about a problem, talk to them about it and try to find out the root cause. Even if, at first, it seems like they are being stupid, there's likely some nugget of information in there that will help you improve the product. (Sometimes they are just stupid, though.) Don't give into the temptation to ignore less persistent users. Some people will get in your face and overreact to the tiniest bug (or even mistake they made). They suck. But the tendency will then be to treat more even-keeled or timid users with contempt (shit flows downhill and all that.) Don't do it. (Also, don't take shit out on employees lower on the food chain.)
Be nice. Seriously, a lot of people will chill out and be reasonable when faced with someone who is friendly, on-the-ball, upbeat and optimistic. One of the first places I worked, we had a Customer From Hell who everyone in the company, from the CEO down to the lowliest tech support, hated. But she paid us lots of money, so we put up with her. I got to see a lot of her emails and they were kind of rude, so I figured she was a bitch. Then one day I get called into a conference call to discuss a new feature with her.
She was bitchy at first, but it became clear that everyone on our side was treating her with only the barest tolerance. Her issues weren't really being fixed. The same things broke over and over and she got apathetic responses. As I took charge of the conversation, she warmed right up, and I started to realize that she wasn't the huge bitch everyone thought, but was just one of the only people who actually used our shitty software on a daily basis and so she ended up reporting a lot of bugs and finding a lot of flaws. Plus, she was the one who convinced her bosses to pay for the software, and then they would complain to her when it broke (as would anyone else in the company). So in the end, she became a hard-ass with our company, and rightfully so; we suck out loud. But when I actually listened to her complaints, and came up with real solutions, and kept a line of communication open wherein I let her know we were continuing to improve things, she adored me and became a valuable asset in helping us track down problems and create new features.
Don't lie about what can be done. Seriously. Just because you don't want to implement Foo, just because you think it is dumb or ugly or whatever, don't lie and say it will take a really long time or cost too much. I see this a lot. And what happens is someone like me eventually comes in, tells the bosses it can be done for way less, and then you're out on your ass (or you still work there but your credibility is shot) because you lied.
Put in the extra effort. Don't watch the clock. Don't do the bare minimum. I'm not saying working yourself into an early grave, but just putting in a little extra effort can mean so much. It's done wonders for my career to be the guy who will take on any task that's given, who will meet his deadlines, who will stay late when it's needed, who will step up when no one else is willing. It can be daunting at first, and ease yourself into it so you don't commit to more than you can deliver, but being the guy who can fix anything is a major win.
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One more:
Don't underestimate the value of your time or that of other developers' time. Don't overestimate the value of money. I made this mistake for awhile. I was poor ex-student doing his first job, so to me everything was fucking expensive. I'd spend a day of work to save the company $200 and I'd be proud of it.
All but the most inept, penny-pinching business people hate this. Let them decided what's worth spending money on. If your company thinks it's worth using a day of your time to save $200, that company is doomed. Either that is the most valuable use of your day, in which case the company is about to fail, or they don't know how to do math. (BTW, I'm assuming you're in the US here. If you're in India, $200 is probably the price of a house, so just ignore this.)
Spending a bunch of time writing tricky code (that someone else will have to read, understand and maintain) to shave a few cycles off is rarely a smart move. Oftentimes, it's just easier to spend money on extra hardware: CPU time is cheap, developer time is expensive, customer time (if your tricky code creates a problem a customer sees) is fucking priceless. In most cases, you want to write code that is easy for other engineers to understand and modify, even if it uses a bit more CPU time. Don't underestimate the maintenance costs of tricky code.
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Wow, thanks for the input guys! It seems like being an honest and generous person will better succeed at life based on what you've said. I live in Canada by the way.
I guess I'll be starting off my career being a generous and helpful employee. I'll just have to take a chance and carry out my curiosity by seeing what happens if I do certain things, and then tell my fair share of WTF stories here.
I always wondered what made my dad the way he is today. He steals from his company, lies, cheats, says racist remarks in another language right in front of others, and would even physically "lightly" shove a child who is in his way. I would always feel bad and embarrassed about it. Despite all that, he still treats his family with utmost respect and care. And having read the WTFs in this website, it made me realize that perhaps my dad has experienced enough hardships to the point where he became like this. I always worry that someday I might become like him. What I do know is that I am the complete opposite of his negative qualities for now, a shy and wimpy son.
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@ElectricMouse said:
It seems like being an honest and generous person will better succeed at life based on what you've said. I live in Canada by the way.
Am I the only one who thinks that's the most hilarious thing ever typed on this forum?
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@blakeyrat said:
@ElectricMouse said:
It seems like being an honest and generous person will better succeed at life based on what you've said. I live in Canada by the way.
Am I the only one who thinks that's the most hilarious thing ever typed on this forum?
I laughed so hard I coughed up blood.
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@ElectricMouse said:
I guess I'll be starting off my career being a generous and helpful employee. I'll just have to take a chance and carry out my curiosity by seeing what happens if I do certain things, and then tell my fair share of WTF stories here.
You're going to meet your share of bad people. The key is, don't let them turn you into a bad person.
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@ElectricMouse said:
And having read the WTFs in this website, it made me realize that perhaps my dad has experienced enough hardships to the point where he became like this.
No, he's just a total cock.
@ElectricMouse said:
a shy and wimpy son.
That's because your dad is a cock. You should worry about the cock that is inside you; waiting.
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@dhromed said:
You should worry about the cock that is inside you; waiting.
dhromey is an expert on cocks waiting inside of you.
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It's true.
I don't have all day, you know.
