Humorous names

travisowens

A coworker is manually verifiying a large table of people's names in our city (US btw) and some of them are so absurd I had to post them, yes these are real, yes I'm serious, no test data or grafitti at work here:

Jesus H Apostle
Mike Falkoff
Harry Sax

Well I should point out that it's fairly normal for hispanics to use Jesus as a first name, other cultures find it a bit shocking, but it's the last name that really makes it noteworthy.

If you don't get the 2nd one, just say the last name extra fast. I can't imaging having to work with this guy, imagine if you yelled his name too fast "Hey Falkoff! Get over here."

The 3rd one speaks for itself, but in case the slang doesn't translate to your language, in english "sacks" is slang for your scrotum.

apapadimoulis

At a place I worked once, there was a sales rep named James Nicewonger. Sure, it's no Harry Sax, but still ...

Manni

My wife works with a guy named Richard Johnson. Until I meet this unfortunate soul, I'm going to assume she's messin' with me.

emptyset

@Alex Papadimoulis said:

At a place I worked once, there was a sales rep named James Nicewonger. Sure, it's no Harry Sax, but still ...

in middle school, when i felt like i needed to spend a quarter, i would always call up "shititrak pumpipak".

i think the rhythm is funny.

Eazy_E

@Manni said:

My wife works with a guy named Richard Johnson. Until I meet this unfortunate soul, I'm going to assume she's messin' with me.

A buddy of mine used to work with a Richard Holder. My guess is that the guy was probably in management.

zzzxtreme

my friend's name is Thyroid

Dylan

Went to school with a Willy Siemen. Quite a good athelete if I recall correctly.

ChrisK

At work I often get emails from "Gay Manly", also one of our offshore
guys has the surname Dikshit... what were the parents thinking....

MrGeekyMan

I had two such at a previous job:

Richard Root, who inexplicably insisted on being called "Dick"; and a
Chinese man whose name was pronounced Way-Long Wong, but was spelled
Wei-long Wang.

ChrisK

Another email today from Mr. Rambo :)

Jon_Limjap

Some Chinese here in the Philippines use some of the craziest names:

Edgar Allan Pe

Chica Go

Jonathan Livingstone Sy

And then there's my mom's student who just had "V" as her first name. That's it.

Oh yes, Jesus and Hesus (both are pronounced as "H" and not the English
"J") are common names among Hispanics and Filipinos, as much as
Mohammed/Mohammad is a common name for Muslims.

John_Smallberries

@Manni said:

My wife works with a guy named Richard Johnson. Until I meet this unfortunate soul, I'm going to assume she's messin' with me.

I had a neighbor named Peter Johnson.

I always wondered if his middle name was Richard...

DailyWTF

I got a coworker and his lastname is GoldStucker but when operator pages him i hear golds**ker :)

FredSaw

The mayor of San Angelo, Texas in the late 90's was Dick Funk. That's what he went by, too: Dick, not Richard. Chutzpah!

Johnkoziol

One of my daughter's friends in High School is named Anita Johnson. WTF were her parents thinking?

Savior

What's better than having the last name "Fuck"?

http://www.abc.org.br/Gina/curriculo.asp?consulta=rfuck&etapa=3&lingua=I

Unfortunate Last Names

stevekj

In a small town near here there's a car repair shop owned by Joe Kerr...

Otto

Where I went to college there was a place called "Null and Son Funeral Home", which as a programmer, I always found amusing.

emptyset

@Otto said:

Where I went to college there was a place called "Null and Son Funeral Home", which as a programmer, I always found amusing.

undefined. junior.

Peter71

I remember a few years ago when we had an American plane brought down
in China due to local suspicion that the plane was a spy plane. I
think the name of the Chinese pilot most involved in this fiasco was a
man named Wang Wei--pronounced "Wong Way."

Peter71

And how about the professional racecar driver, Dick Trickle?

tbbrick

Back when I was in the American Air Force Active, I was an optometry
technician, the person who gives you the pre-tests before you see the
eye doctor. I'd grab the medical record of the next patient and
call out the name in the waiting room. The three that truly tried
my "poker face" skills were:

*Betty Clapsaddle (As frumpy-looking as her name)

*Arnold Duck (Big, blond, and not very bright security policeman.
Not law enforcement, but the type that stood in a full parka, thick
"moon" boots, and a M-16 guarding a jet in the middle of the night in
Greenland, North Dakota, or some other very cold place.)

*Demon Green (Retired Army from the deep South, Alabama??? Said
his mother gave him the name because while still in the womb, he
"kicked like a demon.")

tbb

Richard Nixon

@tbbrick said:

Back when I was in the American Air Force Active, I was an optometry
technician, the person who gives you the pre-tests before you see the
eye doctor. I'd grab the medical record of the next patient and
call out the name in the waiting room. The three that truly tried
my "poker face" skills were:

*Betty Clapsaddle (As frumpy-looking as her name)

*Arnold Duck (Big, blond, and not very bright security policeman.
Not law enforcement, but the type that stood in a full parka, thick
"moon" boots, and a M-16 guarding a jet in the middle of the night in
Greenland, North Dakota, or some other very cold place.)

*Demon Green (Retired Army from the deep South, Alabama??? Said
his mother gave him the name because while still in the womb, he
"kicked like a demon.")

tbb

Least humorous examples to appear in this thread yet. You're not doing
anything to get into my good graces with these kind of efforts junior.

Sincerely,

Richard Nixon

emptyset

@Richard Nixon said:

Least humorous examples to appear in this thread yet. You're not doing anything to get into my good graces with these kind of efforts junior.

one might even say he's not doing anything to get on your good graces at all.

SnipeZ

As a European the word 'johnson' doesn't really automatically make me
think of a **** but since you Americans do, here's one I see a lot.
It's not a persons name but rather a company. Funny to say, it's also a
well known American company that makes products for building automation
and one of my company's competitors 'Johnson Controls Inc.'.

I would say anyone of you unfamiliar with it would think it's a company that sells viagra of penis enlargement pills.

ZeoS

@Savior said:

What's better than having the last name "Fuck"?

http://www.abc.org.br/Gina/curriculo.asp?consulta=rfuck&etapa=3&lingua=I

Unfortunate Last Names

Have "Fucks" :D

http://bombonesaloschanchos.bnc.com.ar/chavofucks.htm <- a TV Guy in argentina whose name is Diego "Chavo" Fucks

tbbrick

@emptyset said:

@Richard Nixon said:
Least humorous
examples to appear in this thread yet. You're not doing anything to get
into my good graces with these kind of efforts junior.

one might even say he's not doing anything to get on your good graces at all.

Not that it matters. After reading several of his pathetic posts I came to the conclusion he's just a sad little troll which is why I do not bother responding to him anymore.

I suspect in high school/college he was picked on without mercy and now hides behind the moniker "Richard Nixon" to safely vent his pathetic rants. What mentally healthy person would chose Tricky Dicky as their user name? EGAD!!!

tbb

Richard Nixon

@tbbrick said:

@emptyset said:
@Richard Nixon said:
Least humorous
examples to appear in this thread yet. You're not doing anything to get
into my good graces with these kind of efforts junior.

one might even say he's not doing anything to get on your good graces at all.

Not that it matters. After reading several of his pathetic posts I came to the conclusion he's just a sad little troll which is why I do not bother responding to him anymore.

I suspect in high school/college he was picked on without mercy and now hides behind the moniker "Richard Nixon" to safely vent his pathetic rants. What mentally healthy person would chose Tricky Dicky as their user name? EGAD!!!

tbb

Thanks for the analysis! Tell me - what would your analysis be if I was using a different name? Say something quite pedestrian - Ted Johnson or something like that. Would I still be a scared little boy lashing out to try to compensate for years of abuse or would I just be an asshole? By the way, "choose" and "chose" are not interchangeable.

Sincerely,

Richard Nixon

sao

@Richard Nixon said:

Thanks for the analysis! Tell me - what would your analysis be if I was using a different name? Say something quite pedestrian - Ted Johnson or something like that. Would I still be a scared little boy lashing out to try to compensate for years of abuse or would I just be an asshole? By the way, "choose" and "chose" are not interchangeable.

Sincerely,

Richard Nixon

And yet 'Richard Nixon' and 'asshole' ARE almost interchangable...

but anyway... There is a politician round my way thats name is Richard Face. I always wonder what to make of the parents of people like this.

tbbrick

@sao said:

And yet 'Richard Nixon' and 'asshole' ARE almost interchangable...

but anyway... There is a politician round my way thats name is Richard Face. I always wonder what to make of the parents of people like this.

On your first comment, I quite agree. This RN's online behavior rather proves it. ;-)

On your second comment, I share your puzzlement at why parents would label their children with such dreadful names. I fear they are in either the "completely clueless" ditch or the "cruel and truly evil" ditch. Thank God my parents gave me a normal first name. Yes, TB Brick is a pseudonym. Due to the high number of mentally ill people who surf the net, I choose not to post my real name.

tbb

Richard Nixon

@tbbrick said:

@sao said:

And yet 'Richard Nixon' and 'asshole' ARE almost interchangable...

but anyway... There is a politician round my way thats name is Richard Face. I always wonder what to make of the parents of people like this.

On your first comment, I quite agree. This RN's online behavior rather proves it. ;-)

On your second comment, I share your puzzlement at why parents would label their children with such dreadful names. I fear they are in either the "completely clueless" ditch or the "cruel and truly evil" ditch. Thank God my parents gave me a normal first name. Yes, TB Brick is a pseudonym. Due to the high number of mentally ill people who surf the net, I choose not to post my real name.

tbb

You sure your choice of online moniker doesn't show that you were mocked in high school and/or college? Doing psychoanalysis based on someone's behavior on a message board probably qualifies as one of the bigger wastes of time you can think of, not to mention the sheer stupidity of the act.

But you know what, if that's your hobby, I won't judge. Analyze away!

Sincerely,

Richard Nixon

sao

@Richard Nixon said:

You sure your choice of online moniker doesn't show that you were mocked in high school and/or college? Doing psychoanalysis based on someone's behavior on a message board probably qualifies as one of the bigger wastes of time you can think of, not to mention the sheer stupidity of the act.

But you know what, if that's your hobby, I won't judge. Analyze away!

Sincerely,

Richard Nixon

Alright, i will!

I believe as a small child you were perfectly normal, by the time you reached the age of 7yrs 3mths you were averagely normal, by 13yrs you were found to be quite abnormal, and just a few years later it was discovered that none of the above was true, making you a unique, 'super' line of human, verging your being on the edge of being an Android. Your programmer was the one and the same who developed the Hotel from Hell reservation system, explaining your confused nature.

There. See! psychoanalysis CAN be accurate from interactions over a message board!

Now let us never speak of Nixon's mental state again, lest the black hole created from the time space anomalies floating in his subconscious envelop us.

MikeB

What ever happened to the good ole names like:

Ben Dover
Phil McCracken

rbriem

I once worked with a guy named Mike Hunt ...

The town I grew up in had a business named "Cocaine Chiropractic", and there was a park that used to be the old cemetary that still had a grave marker for "Mary Jane High" (a prime recreational spot for the local stoners) ...

And I have a roundabout relation named Nicholas Nicholas Nicholas ... as were his father and grandfather, making him "N. N. N. the third" ...

sao

@rbriem said:

And I have a roundabout relation named Nicholas Nicholas Nicholas ... as were his father and grandfather, making him "N. N. N. the third" ...

on the upside, once he learnt to write his first name, he had his whole name down pat!!

iechyd_da

I have often felt sorry for my grandmother - her family were Bastards.

BiggBru

Check this one out: female basketball player, named Ivana Mandic.

Read that one a couple of times.

[<:o)]

dhromed

@BiggBru said:

Check this one out: female basketball player, named Ivana Mandic.

Read that one a couple of times.

[<:o)]

Sadly, not as effective on those who recognize the -ic automatically and read it as 'manditch'.

osp70

Before school i was a manager in a restaurant and we had to fellows named Intekab and Iftekar. So Iftekar (if-te-car) doesn't want to work get Intekab (In-teh-cab). Was always good for a little laugh.

R_Flowers

In the town I live in, there was a business called "White Specific Chiropractic". I would get the image in my head of African-America protestors outside carrying signs. A black gentleman walks in; the receptionist gives him a cold stare. "Sir, I think you may be more comfortable in another establishment..."

LOL. I suppose the term "specific chiropractic" is what I should be picking up on, but I'm not familiar with chiropracty.

The sign has now been altered to "White Chiropractic."

dan400man

@dave said:

Us British people always find the US liking for the
name Randy very humourous - in English, 'randy' is a slang term, it's
closest meaning in American English would be 'horny'.
Hence we have some Americans failing to make the right impressions with
"Hello I'm Randy!".
Of course the prize for most misunderstood name goes to Randy Bender
(who was a Novell engineer of the month a few years back). In English,
'bender' is a slang term for a homosexual.

Oh, you silly Brits!:)

"Mike Hunt": Man, that brought back memories. When I was a
teen, I called the bowling alley I was in from a pay phone (this was
before cell phones), and asked to speak to "Michael Hunt, oh wait,
better call him Mike". The lady (!) made the page -- oh, the
howls!

One of the most memorable newscasts I've ever seen was around the time
when Toy Story dolls were showing up in stores. One of the
stations in Detroit had an end-of-the-newscast featurette about how hot
(flying off the shelves) these dolls were. At the end of the
featurette, the camera is on the 4-person crew on the set, and the
female anchor asks her co-anchor, "So, do you have a Woodie yet?
How about a Buzz?" He smirks, speechless; the other two guys are
smiling. She turns to the weathercaster, and asks, "How about you
Chuck? Do you have a Woodie?" The three guys are doing the
best they can, but the full grins on their faces show they are dying
inside.

Hopefully, someone explained it to her after they went off air.
And, amazingly, this showed up on one of their "best clips of the year"
shows.

In case someone in the Detroit area is wondering, it was Carmen Harlan (a first-class lady and newsperson) on channel 4 WDIV.