Sony's PSN is basically what you get if you showed a chimp Xbox Live and told him to replicate it in 2 weeks

[blakeyrat]

So I have problems with my Vita, of course. The infamous and unsolvable "NP-2244-2" error... and with a such an informative and useful name like that, how is it possible I couldn't solve the problem on my own? Actually it turns out that NP-2244-2 is caused by any of 37 different things and there's no way for you to tell which specific one applies to you.

So I go to Sony's site to put in a support ticket, of course. But I got a little lost, I couldn't find the option for Downloading or Content Manager?

Well after solving that mystery, at least Sony's intelligent support system had some suggestions for me to try to resolve the problem on my own:

Oh very useful, thank you support website.

I can't for the life of me figure out why the console is failing!

[sh_code]

well, I'd consider providing no data to be useful, seeing as they usually provide too much data to the wrong people (PSN credit card details, anyone?) which was objectively not that useful. At least they're learning from their own mistakes. In the wrong places, but at least they do at all...

[ekolis]

s/PSN/Origin; s/Xbox Live/Steam :)

[Guest]

Inquiring minds would like to know if there were differences in the values of the <option>s.

So I went to the site and searched a bit: Support > Playstation > Playstation Vita image:

Could it be because I'm blocking cookies?

 

Also, am I the only one who reads "Type a question or problem you are experiencing here" as "type one of the many problems you are experiencing here"?

[blakeyrat]

@ekolis said:

s/PSN/Origin; s/Xbox Live/Steam :)

t/sfd/PSN/Steam; s/u/d/da/Xbox?.ffd :)

@SEMI-HYBRID code said:

(PSN credit card details, anyone?)

No thanks, I just ate.

@Zecc said:

am I the only one who reads "Type a question or problem you are experiencing here" as "type one of the many problems you are experiencing here"?

Yes. Yes you are the only one.

I hate these awful "Internet-isms". Guys this crap might be clever on Slashdot, but please just type like a human here. And the "am I the only one who read it as X" joke has never been funny, ever. Seriously they're fucking annoying. Every single reply has one. Cripes. If you don't have anything clever to say, just say nothing.

Now who's the asshole who's going to do *cough*lamejoke*cough* next? That's my personal unfavorite.

[dhromed]

@blakeyrat said:

Now who's the asshole who's going to do *cough*lamejoke*cough* next? That's my personal unfavorite.

 

Actually.

[blakeyrat]

BTW Sony's support site says I'll get an email back in "1-8 hours" (I distinctly remember the time because it was so weird it was in hours and not days). They have not met that promise.

[Guest]

@blakeyrat said:

And the "am I the only one who read it as X" joke has never been funny, ever. Seriously they're fucking annoying.

It wasn't a joke. :|

[English_Man]

PSN has always worked for me, considering it costs $0.00 that seems a good deal.

[blakeyrat]

@English Man said:

PSN has always worked for me, considering it costs $0.00 that seems a good deal.

I'm talking about the store numbnuts. Xbox Live's store also costs $0.00. So does Steam. And... every other game-based app store I can think of. And all of them are better than PSN. Even Origin. Yeah I went there.

[atipico]

@blakeyrat said:

Sony's PSN is basically what you get if you showed a chimp Xbox Live and told him to replicate it in 2 weeks

I read the title in the main page's sidebar and just knew it was from blakeyrat. I think he developed a quite distinctive style in his prose...

[blakeyrat]

I got my reply:

@Some Sony CS Grunt said:

Hello ---,

Thank you for contacting PlayStation® Support. My name is ---, your PlayStation®Vita specialist, and I am happy to assist you with this. I would like to congratulate you on your Vita!

The error code you are receiving does indicate that the connection to the server has been lost and I highly recommend attempting the following troubleshooting to resolve this issue.

First, I know how frustrating it can be to receive this error when trying to make a purchase but we do need to wait at least 72 hours before attempting these troubleshooting steps and entering the credit card information again in case your account was locked for security purposes.

After 72 hours, please power-cycle the network devices by unplugging all of your network devices and equipment, making sure all lights on the modem and router are turned off for two full minutes. Certain VOIP modems (where your telephone is connected to your modem) may have a battery installed. You will need to remove the battery in order for the modem to be completely turned off.

Also, I have a list of port information that you can provide your router manufacturer and they will be able to assist you in port forwarding. If the required ports are not open in your router, the PlayStation®Network may not work properly. This is the most important step to ensure you have a good connection to add funds to your Wallet.

TCP Ports: 80, 443, 465, 983, 5223, and 10070 - 10080

UDP Ports: 3478, 3479, 3658, and 10070

To establish a wireless connection after power-cycling your network devices:

• From the Home screen, tap Settings; then press Start in the Settings application LiveArea.

• Tap the Network option and then select the Wi-Fi Settings option.

• Lastly, select the access point you want to use. In many cases, you will need the information to connect to the access point (the SSID and security information such as the WEP key or WPA key).

To ensure you have the best connection, you will want to check the signal strength and to make sure it is as close to 100% as possible.

If this does not resolve the issue, please make sure your PS Vita been activated for game content. You may do this through your Settings > PlayStation®Network > Account Management > System Activation and then select Activate. If the system is already activated, please deactivate and then re-activate.

When re-entering your information, please ensure all account information is accurate by contacting your bank or by reviewing a credit card statement. Open the PlayStation®Store application and press Start > Options > Transaction Management > Billing Information, select "Delete Billing Information". Then re-enter your billing information on the same page.

If these steps do not resolve the problem and funds can not be added from your credit card, we do have PSN cards available. PSN cards will allow you to choose the amount you would like to add to the wallet and are added to the wallet in the form of a code. I know this can be very inconvenient Steven, but this is a great way to add funds and avoid any billing errors. You can purchase PSN cards at any major retailer and if you are in the United States, there is a link on our website (us.playstation.com) to purchase PSN cards and the code is emailed to you so you can immediate redeem and use the funds.

Thank you so much for your patience and for letting me provide you with this information, ---.

My reply:

@Some Handsome Vita Owner said:

---,

"In case my account is locked for security reasons"? You mean you don't know? If my account is locked for security reasons, I need to know RIGHT NOW so I can contact my bank and take steps to stop payments on my card.

What do I need to do to get someone to check the status of my account? I'm not willing to wait 72 hours when you're telling me there's a possibility my card has been stolen! That is simply ridiculous.

Of course I know my card hasn't been stolen, in fact Sony hasn't even attempted to charge it because the problem is 100% on Sony's back-end. They just won't admit to it.

[blakeyrat]

Ok well at least they're quick on the email trigger:

@Some Sony CS Drone said:

Hello ---,

Thank you for your quick reply!

I did not mean to cause any concern, or did I infer that your card was stolen in anyway.

Unfortunately, I can not confirm what reason your card is not being authorized, I am providing possible explanations. We have no way to verify if your account has been locked out or not. You will need to contact your bank for further information.

If you have waited 72 hours and have tried all troubleshooting and the issue still occurs, or if you do not want to wait 72 hours, you will need to utilize the PlayStation®Network card as it will allow you to choose the amount you would like to add to the wallet and are added to the wallet in the form of a code. This is a great way to add funds and avoid any AVS errors. You can purchase PSN cards at any major retailer.

We have just recently released the ability to purchase electronic PlayStation®Network cards on our website for United States consumers. On the main page of www.us.playstation.com, you will see a photo of the PSN cards and a 'Buy $20' and 'Buy $50' buttons. This will take you directly to Best Buys website to receive the codes to your email. Please note, these codes can only be redeemed to US accounts.

Thank you for your understanding.

So the solution is "go to Best Buy and buy a card and load value using that, because Best Buy's purchase system actually fucking works." More or less.

My reply:

@Some Handsome Vita Owner said:

---,

I contacted my bank before I wrote that reply and they verified that Sony never attempted to charge the card for the purchase I was trying to make. Sony's purchase history shows numerous failed charge attempts for $0.00. The configuration of my wifi network has not changed since PSN purchases worked. My credit card information has not changed since PSN purchases worked. This problem is 100% on Sony's back-end payment processor.

What do I need to do to get my card unlocked by Sony so I can make purchases again? A 72-hour wait to make a impulse buy like a downloadable game is unacceptable and ridiculous. Especially if one of the possibly reasons for the error is a security problem.

If you can't look up the status of my account, you need to direct me to somebody who can and who has the authority to resolve this problem.

Thank you for your quick reply.

I resisted the urge to type a reply reading only, "GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER, FUCK GUYS!"

[dhromed]

Man, you're such a dick to people.

Try playing more guitar to vent those frustrations.

[blakeyrat]

They finally, after about 4 more email back-and-forth, admitted they're utterly useless:

@Some Different Support Drone said:

Hello ---,

My name is --- and I am a supervisor with PlayStation® Technical Support. I have read through this email correspondence and see that all appropriate troubleshooting has been covered. Unfortunately, we do not have any specific information on what is preventing the purchase from going through and our only recourse in this situation is that you use a PlayStation® Network card to make your purchases. I understand that this is extremely frustrating and I apologize for the inconvenience.

Regards,

Seriously. Wow.

[dhromed]

 Sony has a strong culture of corporatism that dates back centuries.

[Guest]

@dhromed said:

Sony has a strong culture of corporatism that dates back centuries.

You misspelled incompetence.

 

[dhromed]

No, I used a synonym.

 

[ais523]

@blakeyrat said:

Sony's purchase history shows numerous failed charge attempts for $0.00.

I'm trying to work out whether there's any significant difference between this, and numerous successful charge attempts for $0.00.

[hallo_amt]

@ais523 said:

@blakeyrat said:

Sony's purchase history shows numerous failed charge attempts for $0.00.

I'm trying to work out whether there's any significant difference between this, and numerous successful charge attempts for $0.00.

The card company does not get any fees for an unsuccessful attempt.

[this_code_sucks]

I tried to buy pron a game on my girlfriend's playstation. It would not go through since my card's billing info did not match the name on the console. I just ended up going to Best Buy and getting a card as well. Sony just sucks at everything.

Trwf is that there was no error telling me this; I had to deduce it from a google search. Since I thought I was entering my cc info wrong, I tried about 10 times locking out my credit card.

[Lorne Kates]

@this_code_sucks said:

I tried to buy pron a game on my girlfriend's playstation. It would not go through since my card's billing info did not match the name on the console. I just ended up going to Best Buy and getting a card as well. Sony just sucks at everything.

Trwf is that there was no error telling me this; I had to deduce it from a google search. Since I thought I was entering my cc info wrong, I tried about 10 times locking out my credit card.

 

At least it's a blessing in disguise. The next time Sony leaks information, it'll only be your name, address, birthdate, username and password, rather than all that plus your CC number.

And for the record, before I get accused of being a paranoid Slashdotter, I did foolishly register my CC with PSN way back when, and it was compromised during the hack, and I did have to call up my company and get a new one. The call went something like this:

@Nearly exactly what happened said:

CC On Hold Voice: All of our agents are currently busy with a high volume of calls. If you are phoning regarding the Sony Playstation Network compromise, please mention it to your agent. Thank you for holding.

CC rep: Hi, Blah speaking.

Me: Hi, I'm calling about the Sony P...

CC rep: I'll cancel your card and a new one's in the mail {type type} now. Anything else?

 

[blakeyrat]

@hallo.amt said:

The card company does not get any fees for an unsuccessful attempt.

The card company never saw these transactions. Sony's back-end blocked them before they even contacted VISA's servers.

[blakeyrat]

@this_code_sucks said:

I tried to buy pron a game on my girlfriend's playstation. It would not go through since my card's billing info did not match the name on the console. I just ended up going to Best Buy and getting a card as well. Sony just sucks at everything.

Trwf is that there was no error telling me this; I had to deduce it from a google search. Since I thought I was entering my cc info wrong, I tried about 10 times locking out my credit card.

After TWO ESCALATIONS that's still the only answer I have. The email I sent this morning basically says, "don't bother replying again unless you can actually escalate the issue"... well hell I'll just quote it:

@A Genius said:

---,

I know the problem isn't with my card. I don't know if you read the entire thread before replying or not, but we've eliminated everything except Sony's payment processing system.

I don't understand the point of my Vita giving me an error code that apparently nobody at Sony can resolve. Are you so far removed from the actual engineers that created that error message that you can't even call them up on the phone and say, "hey guys what does this error mean?"

From my Google searching, I know people have been getting this error for at almost a year. In that amount of time, nobody in your support organization has bothered to figure out what the error is for? Nobody's bothered to write up documentation on how to solve it?

What's the point of a store where you can't buy anything?

Don't bother replying unless there's someone at your organization who you can escalate to who can actually resolve the problem. Which right now I doubt.

[blakeyrat]

I will say that all their support people are nice and friendly and respond quickly (once the ticket was opened) and seem to read and write English proficiently. In all fairness.

But I don't see the point of a support department that can't actually solve a problem. Especially a problem involving me trying to give them money.

[Mcoder]

@blakeyrat said:

Are you so far removed from the actual engineers that created that error message that you can't even call them up on the phone and say, "hey guys what does this error mean?"

 

They are probably in another company, in another country, half way around the world (I guess that would be the US).

Offshoring customer support is a really big WTF.

[gramie]

@blakeyrat said:

I will say that all their support people are nice and friendly and respond quickly (once the ticket was opened) and seem to read and write English proficiently. In all fairness.

I had a recent issue with them, and they were friendly, polite, and communicated well. But it annoyed me to hear "thank you for your understanding" when I was not prepared to be understanding at all. (My son's Japanese PS3 game would not play Canadian DLC, even though the game ran fine on our machine and we were able to pay for and download the DLC without any warnings. It took 24 hours, but in the end we got a refund for the DLC, which was what I had been asking for all along.)

[flabdablet]

@blakeyrat said:

I will say that all their support people are nice and friendly and respond quickly (once the ticket was opened) and seem to read and write English proficiently. In all fairness.

 

Telstra has nice friendly support people too, but they can't respond terribly quickly because they're all too busy listening to customers bring them up to date about the previous fifty-leven unsucessful attempts at problem resolution; the concept of "opening a ticket" has apparently bypassed them completely. But at least they're required to tell you their employee number in case you want to get them sacked, instead of whatever hopeless drone architected their CRM system.

 

[Guest]

@blakeyrat said:

Are you so far removed from the actual engineers that created that error message that you can't even call them up on the phone and say, "hey guys what does this error mean?"

I'll bet the answer to that question is "yes".  You're assuming that you were corresponding with a Sony employee.  I'll bet that Sony's "supoort" is contracted out to another company, and the only thing they have is whatever meager information Sony provides them -- which probably amounts to the same thing you can find on your own searching with Google.

[Master_Chief]

@blakeyrat said:

@English Man said:

PSN has always worked for me, considering it costs $0.00 that seems a good deal.

I'm talking about the store numbnuts. Xbox Live's store also costs $0.00. So does Steam. And... every other game-based app store I can think of. And all of them are better than PSN. Even Origin. Yeah I went there.

Actually I have yet to have a single problem with Origin. shrug The fact that it didn't install itself into my startup earned it brownie points.

[Master_Chief]

@blakeyrat said:

They finally, after about 4 more email back-and-forth, admitted they're utterly useless:

Seriously. Wow.

I had this same kind of hands-in-the-air response from Bethesda back when I first bought one of those mimo usb monitors. I mentioned that in the FIRST email I sent them that I had recently installed that item (along with the DisplayLink software it needs) and since then, Fallout would not run. Instead of even doing a simple check, they just told me that because I was using Windows 7 and Fallout 3 was not designed for Windows 7 they couldn't help me. Never mind it had been running fine for almost a year. Never mind I explicitly stated the one thing I changed on the system, asking if it could've affected it.


I initially dismissed the monitor as the cause, because I unplugged it and it still didn't work. It was only a week later after being utterly ignored by the support team that I tried uninstalling the DisplayLink software itself, and lo and behold, Fallout worked again. I followed up with a scathing email basically stating that if they had done even the tiniest bit of legwork on the problem, I would've said fine, they tried, and the fact that they grabbed onto the first thing they could to close the ticket without doing work didn't speak highly of them as a support team, let alone a company. Never got a response of course.


Find it insane that one lone dude working on basic troubleshooting strategy (what changed last? reverse that) was able to figure this out quicker than a building full of the people who actually BUILT the game. But I suppose I have the advantage in that I actually TRIED.

[xbigdanx]

Could it be that you keep referring to it as "PSN"? It sounds like your issues are with the Playstation STORE, not PSN (PlayStation Network).

If I go to the doctor because my knee hurts but I keep talking about my elbow, he's going to look at my elbow and tell me he doesn't see anything wrong.

(I know this seems like a troll post, but it's not... it's a serious suggestion)

[blakeyrat]

@xbigdanx said:

Could it be that you keep referring to it as "PSN"? It sounds like your issues are with the Playstation STORE, not PSN (PlayStation Network).

If I go to the doctor because my knee hurts but I keep talking about my elbow, he's going to look at my elbow and tell me he doesn't see anything wrong.

So you're saying Sony support is fucking useless because I used the wrong word in my email? Even though it was fucking obvious from context what I meant, and the Sony support people can clearly read English? This is what you come up with, if I had typed "Playstation STORE" in my email suddenly the support guy would have been "oh in THAT case lemme fix it right away!"?

@xbigdanx said:

(I know this seems like a troll post, but it's not... it's a serious suggestion)

It's not a troll post, but it is pretty much the dumbest thing I've ever read.

[xbigdanx]

@blakeyrat said:

So you're saying Sony support is fucking useless because I used the wrong word in my email? Even though it was fucking obvious from context what I meant, and the Sony support people can clearly read English? This is what you come up with, if I had typed "Playstation STORE" in my email suddenly the support guy would have been "oh in THAT case lemme fix it right away!"?

Yeah it's very possible. The guys working support are doing so because they aren't the sharpest crayon in the box.

@blakeyrat said:

It's not a troll post, but it is pretty much the dumbest thing I've ever read.

Could also just be that you're an asshole. I know when I worked support during college we used to love messing around with the ones who had obvious attitudes. From my experience, the most obvious answer usually is the right one.

[ekolis]

Clearly lots of people have issues with downloading and with the content manager, so they want to make sure the id10ts find what they're looking for...

[Ben L.]

@ekolis said:

id10ts

l10n is Localization.

id10ts must therefore be id, ten characters, and then ts.

Thus, I can only conclude that you are talking about idiomatic nuts.

[Nelle]

had the same problem with my ps3

i found an online retailer that sells psn cards AND has a working online payment processor.

they take my moneys and send me an email with the scanned psn card.

its a bit roundabout, but its fast and i still do not have to leave the house.

[Lorne Kates]

@Nelle said:

had the same problem with my ps3
i found an online retailer that sells psn cards AND has a working online payment processor.
they take my moneys and send me an email with the scanned psn card.
its a bit roundabout, but its fast and i still do not have to leave the house.

 

Who would they be and do they sell Canadian PSN cards?

(As much as I hate the idea of giving any more money to the PSN, I do want to transfer all my Guitar Hero and Rockband tracks to the latest/last incarnations of the game. Either that, or I'll just wait until someone has jailbroken the thing properly and do it for free)

[Nelle]

@Lorne Kates said:

Who would they be and do they sell Canadian PSN cards?

unfortunatelly nothing for the canadians:

http://www.mmoga.com/Playstation-Network/

[blakeyrat]

Today Sony sent me a customer service survey. I hit submit and saw this:

Sony is the WTF that keeps on giving.

[Speakerphone_Dude]

@blakeyrat said:

Today Sony sent me a customer service survey. I hit submit and saw this:

Sony is the WTF that keeps on giving.

hey where did you get that Redacted Toolbar plugin? I need one so people who walk by my desk stop freaking out when they see the stuff that's on my bookmark toolbar.

[Ben L.]

@Speakerphone Dude said:

@blakeyrat said:

Today MatNewman sent me a customer service survey. I hit submit and saw this:

How do you type with yellow boxing gloves on?

Lotus Notes is the WTF that keeps on giving.

hey where did you get that Redacted Toolbar plugin? I need one so people who walk by my desk stop freaking out when they see the stuff that's on my bookmark toolbar.

I suggest using black electrical tape. Nobody will be the wiser¡

[Guest]

@Speakerphone Dude said:

hey where did you get that Redacted Toolbar plugin? I need one so people who walk by my desk stop freaking out when they see the stuff that's on my bookmark toolbar.

I'm pretty sure you can get it from  ██████  or ██████    But I don't recommend the one from ███████  it crashed my computer whenever I tried to use it.

[blakeyrat]

Why are you people making really fucking stupid unfunny jokes.

[Ben L.]

@blakeyrat said:

Why are you people making really fucking stupid unfunny jokes?

FTFY

[dhromed]

@blakeyrat said:

Why are you people making really fucking stupid unfunny jokes.

 

To piss you off.

[Guest]

@blakeyrat said:

Why are you people making really fucking stupid unfunny jokes.

 

 Top 10 reasons people are making really fucking stupid unfunny jokes

5. It's "Big & Tall Men Day" at the ball park and I have to work

2. Dave Thomas Once shot out a TV set when Colonel Sanders came on

10. Police composite sketches always make you look 10 years older than you really are

6. Texas Rangers Batting Practice

4. I don't care if you're the Queen of England -- you're sitting in my seat

9. Tried to change my last name to Sunoco and get free gas

3. The CIA unsuccessfully tried to persuade Yakov Smirnoff to defect back

[blakeyrat]

Top 10 reasons El_Heffe picked a font so tiny nobody could possibly read it:

1. He's an asshole

[Guest]

@blakeyrat said:

Top 10 reasons El_Heffe picked a font so tiny nobody could possibly read it:

1. He's an asshole

 

It looks perfectly fine on my computer, in both Firefox and Chrome.  I go to great effort to make sure my stupid jokes are readable.  Although, I am using a 27 inch monitor,

<font face="courier new,courier" size="6">I guess I will have to take that into account in the future.</font>

 

[boomzilla]

@El_Heffe said:

@blakeyrat said:

Top 10 reasons El_Heffe picked a font so tiny nobody could possibly read it:

1. He's an asshole

It looks perfectly fine on my computer, in both Firefox and Chrome.  I go to great effort to make sure my stupid jokes are readable.  Although, I am using a 27 inch monitor,

In gmail, the pre section was rendered in a smaller font. I suspect this is some sort of gmail styling. But on TDWTF, it was the same size as the rest of the text (just in a fixed font, of course). It's probably because gmail is open source.