Not the first time...

this_code_sucks

To give you some background, I currently work on a very very old system. To add to the challenge, before I got there we hired some consultants to clean it up... they made it enterprisey instead. The wtfs in this system are so bad, I can't even begin to put them in words, so instead I will leave you with one of the comment left by a consultant I recently found while trying to stop a new thread from be lauched with every server request... (a wtf in it self)

The initials and object names have been changed to protect the incompetant

// jwk - ok, i'm not sure what i'm doing. Not the 1st time.

// Umi has some code that generates into creating

// a new WithTextBox object passing a CustomBitVector in the constructor.

// Lets see if we can support it.

Not the last time either, I'm sure.

da_Doctah

@this_code_sucks said:

// Umi has some code that generates into creating
 
// a new WithTextBox object passing a CustomBitVector in the constructor.
// Lets see if we can support it.

// Unbeknownst to our regular customers

// we replaced the code usually found here with Folgers Crystals.

// Lets watch what happens.

Cassidy

Has there ever - in the history of outsourcing - been any organisation that has refused to accept completed code unless it's been internally QAd (or at least peer-reviewed)?

PJH

@Cassidy said:

Has there ever - in the history of outsourcing - been any organisation that has refused to accept completed code unless it's been internally QAd (or at least peer-reviewed)?

RBS/Natwest/Coutts? Oh, no - silly me....

Cassidy

@PJH said:

RBS/Natwest

Seems they're pointing fingers Nagesh-wards on that one.

this_code_sucks

Actually,
These conartists are not only from the US, but they are a 15 minute drive from my house. I'm debating whether to:
A. Go on a hand breaking spree in their office
B. Go on a interview at their company and pull some sort of off color prank

I am leaning towards B since it won't get me thrown in jail; but I have not thought of a good prank... let me know if you have any ideas.

But any way... it gets worse. They store DataReaders (they retrieve data as you read each row) in SessionState, which made my mission to close all their orphaned db connections impossible. I had to settle for closing them when a session expires :'(

nonpartisan

@this_code_sucks said:

I have not thought of a good prank... let me know if you have any ideas.

Write good code. They'll never recognize it.

Speakerphone_Dude

@this_code_sucks said:

Go on a interview at their company and pull some sort of off color prank

Empty a small bottle of milk in a floor vent. The smell will never go away completely. (Cat pee also works but it's more difficult to procure.)

Lorne Kates

@Speakerphone Dude said:

@this_code_sucks said:
Go on a interview at their company and pull some sort of off color prank

Empty a small bottle of milk in a floor vent. The smell will never go away completely. (Cat pee also works but it's more difficult to procure.)

You know nothing of long-term planning.

Scout out their office, and find a nice, out-of-the-way slot that meets the following criteria:

1) Is currently dry

2) Will become warm and damp at some point in the future (possibly when the seasons change). Long after you're gone

3) Is near the ventellation system, or a place where the air will go into main area

Find a nice, hidden out of the way place, and dump a whole half-fuckton of dried shrimps, like you would feed a turtle. Then leave.

Over time, the humidty will moisten the dried shrimp, and then they'll start to rot. By that point, you'll be long gone, and no one will ever suspect you.

THAT'S how you stink up an office.

sh_code

@Lorne Kates said:

Scout out their office, and find a nice, out-of-the-way slot that meets the following criteria:
1) Is currently dry
2) Will become warm and damp at some point in the future (possibly when the seasons change). Long after you're gone
3) Is near the ventellation system, or a place where the air will go into main area

...server room?

Oh, nope, it usually doesn't meet the third requirement, sorry.

dhromed

@Lorne Kates said:

1) Is currently dry
2) Will become warm and damp at some point in the future (possibly when the seasons change). Long after you're gone
3) Is near the ventellation system, or a place where the air will go into main area

Worst Your Mom bait ever.

DOA

@Lorne Kates said:

Over time, the humidty will moisten the dried shrimp, and then they'll start to rot. By that point, you'll be long gone, and no one will ever suspect you.

+1 Ingenuity