Bad news, everyone





  • (Click for enbiggening.)

    If it's stuck to the back of a rental trailer, you know it has to be true!

    BTW, here's the site it links to.



  • Wait, what? Damn you, James Cameron! You lied to us all the time!



  • I like how the truck looms in the fog.

    And the photo reminds me of Key Bank.  I still hate Key Bank from when I was in college and had about $250 in my account, they decided "if you have less than $1000 we charge you $8 a month!"



  • Richest, most technologically advanced and (according to its residents) best nation in the world.

    Still riddled with the most pointless superstition in history.



  • @Matt Westwood said:

    Richest, most technologically advanced...

    [citation needed]



  • @atipico said:

    @Matt Westwood said:
    Richest, most technologically advanced...

    [citation needed]

    Oops, good call. Sorry.



  • If I hadn't been killed by scalar wave convergence in 2003, I'd miss the panawave people.



  • Fuck. Pic doesn't show up for me. Click on pic to embiggen and the site is blocked because our firewall sees it as "Games". Click on the link and that site is blocked because our firewall sees it as "Streaming media".

    I hate working here.

     



  • @rudraigh said:

    Fuck. Pic doesn't show up for me. Click on pic to embiggen and the site is blocked because our firewall sees it as "Games". Click on the link and that site is blocked because our firewall sees it as "Streaming media".

    I hate working here.

     

    Ok, so the homepage of that domain links to a blog which has a couple of 3-year-old Xbox 360 game reviews... that's about all I can come up with.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Holy God said:

    I'm bringing the Judgment Day. What are you brining to the Memorial Day Picnic?



  •  Well crap.  I've got vacation scheduled for the beginning of June.

     



  • From the site the OP links to:
    @JUDGMENT DAY said:

    The Bible is the Holy Book written by Holy God who is the Creator of this beautiful world. The Holy Bible is without question a very ancient book, having been completed about 1,900 years ago. In its original languages (mostly Hebrew and Greek) it has never been changed, and each and every word in the original languages is from the mouth of God. In Jeremiah 36:1-4 God gives an example of how the Bible was written:

    And it came to pass in the fourth year of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah king of Judah, that this word came unto Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Take thee a roll of a book, and write therein all the words that I have spoken unto thee against Israel, and against Judah, and against all the nations, from the day I spake unto thee, from the days of Josiah, even unto this day. It may be that the house of Judah will hear all the evil which I purpose to do unto them; that they may return every man from his evil way; that I may forgive their iniquity and their sin. Then Jeremiah called Baruch the son of Neriah: and Baruch wrote from the mouth of Jeremiah all the words of the Lord, which He had spoken unto him, upon a roll of a book []the roll of the book is the Bible].

    It looks to me that the Bible was written my a guy named Baruch the son of Neriah and he was only writing down what this other guy called Jeremiah was telling him.



  • @El_Heffe said:

     Well crap.  I've got vacation scheduled for the beginning of June.

     

    On the bright side, I think your vacation just got extended.  Indefinitely.

     



  • @SlyEcho said:

    It looks to me that the Bible was written my a guy named Baruch the son of Neriah and he was only writing down what this other guy called Jeremiah was telling him.

    Lies! The bible was written by God him-fucking-self! Just because you don't understand what this ancient language means doesn't put you in a



  • @derula said:

    @SlyEcho said:
    It looks to me that the Bible was written my a guy named Baruch the son of Neriah and he was only writing down what this other guy called Jeremiah was telling him.

    Lies! The bible was written by God him-fucking-self! Just because you don't understand what this ancient language means doesn't put you in a

    I think you just accidentally entire cosmogony.

     


  • Garbage Person

    Okay. So the last time I read Revelations, there was a whole bunch of shit that totally had to happen before judgement day.

     Some wikipediaing confirms this. Rough outline of shit that needs to predate J-day, and whether it may or may not have happened yet:

    - Some dude named John has a vision and talks to God about it. Alright, whatever. Sounds legit.
    - There are some messages to some churches in Asia. Okay. Sure.
    - The four horsemen of the apocalypse do their shit
    -- "One who is both a king and a conqueror rides forth on a white horse." Uh. Napoleon? I like the idea of Napoleon being a horseman of the apocalypse.
    -- Some dude on a red horse starts a war. Probably happened at some point.
    -- Some dude on a black horse brings famine. Probably happened at some point.
    -- A rider on a "pale" horse brings death. Sounds like it happens often.
    - The souls of martyrs cries out for vengeance. Intangible, so whatever.
    - A bunch of earthquakes and natural disasters. That's cheating, bible. That shit has always happened.
    -- Some nasty shit happens to the Israelis. That's also cheating, because a bunch of Jews wrote this thing in the first place, and Jews have always had a HUGE persecution complex.
    -- A vast multitude of people worship God because they lived through all this shit. I have no statistics on Christianity's worship count throughout history.

    However, my inclination is that we must not have reached that critical mass yet, because it all falls apart from here on out.

    - Hail and fire destroy a third of the world's trees and grass. Definitely. Fucking. Never. Happened.
    - A third of the oceans are destroyed. How the fuck do you destroy an ocean? Metaphorically, MAYBE you could argue this if you're an environmentalist nutter - but the rest of the bible doesn't much care about pollution, so I'm going to assume God's waiting for us to literally vaporize a third of our seawater.
    - A third of the world's rivers and springs are poisoned. Okay, this might be pollution. I'll hand the environmentalist nutters that - but I  suspect that, even though we've managed to get a majority of the world's rivers to some extent (but not that I could call them 'poison', we haven't even STARTED on the aquifers that feed springs.
    - A third of the sky is darkened. How the fuck do you do even do that? Then again, a full 50% of the sky is darkened EVERY DAY!
    - A plague of what may or may not actually be locusts irritates the shit out of us all - worldwide - for 5 months. Localized plagues of various pests are common, but nothing widespread.
    - An army of 200 million kills a third of the world's population. Not even close. The closest we've come on the military size was the Wehrmacht, and that was under 20 million (cumulative over force replacement, not at any one time) throughout the entire war era - and they only managed to kill like 70 million people. There were 2.5 billion people on earth at the time.  WW2 was not it, but it was as close as it got, unless God made some SERIOUS rounding errors
    -- That dude John from way back up top eats (reads, perhaps) a book related to that war that upsets his stomach but seems nice enough initially. (Any number of books by any number of crazy fuckers. Hitler wrote a book that could be described that way)
    - 2 witnesses spout prophesy for 3.5 years. They die, and are reincarnated. Can't say I'm aware of any instances of that happening.
    - John trips balls and sees some dumb shit.
    - The Ark of the Covenant shows up in some temple. I do know a replica of the Ark showed up in the Mythbusters shop, but I don't think that counts.
    - Satan is cast down to Earth. Hi.
    - "The dragon" persecutes the people of God. I'm going to be a dick and assume this refers to China. http://www.christianpersecution.info/china.php A page with purple text on the Internet says it's true, so it must be!
    - "The beast from the sea" makes war with the people of God. ... How the fuck is that even possible?
    - "The beast from the land" forces the people of God to worship the above sea-beast ..... First, why the fuck would it do that? Second, that's even less possible.
    - John trips balls and sees some dumb shit.

    Up until this point, it's all relatively possible to chalk up to metaphor and poor translation. Whatever. It gets REALLY fucking dumb now:
    - "A foul and loathesome sore" afflicts the followers of the beast. Herpes? HERPES MEANS YOU WORSHIP THE DEVIL!
    - The seas turn to blood and everything in it dies. Uhhhh. Nope, we still have sea-life.
    - All fresh water turns to blood. .... Noooope.
    - The sun scorches the Earth with intense heat. Noooooooooooope.
    - There is total darkness and great pain in the devil's kingdom. Naturally, it's nighttime and everyone has the Herp.
    - Preparations for armageddon are made. Megiddo is still just a pile of sand in the middle of the desert. Nobody seems to be planning anything.
    - A huge fucking earthquake levels every mountain and sinks every island. Try as Japan might, they still haven't succeeded there.
    - The fall of Babylon. Prettymuch everybody who's anybody thinks Babylon is America, so I'll run with that here.
    --Babylon is destroyed. Permanently and for all time. America, however, is quite still here."
    --The entire world mourns the fall of Babylon. Half the world would celebrate the fall of America. The other half would go bankrupt and totally mourn.
    -The beast and false prophet are cast into the lake of fire.Maybe this happened, we just don't know about it.
    -Satan is imprisoned at the bottom of a pit for a THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS.

    Yeah. There's a thousand year gap here. That means that for J-day to be May 21st 2011, everything above this line had to happen more than 1000 years ago - but still post-Christian-founding-and-organization.

    Btw, Christ reigns for those 1000 years with his ressurected martyrs from above. I certainly haven't seen them, and am unaware of any such period in history. Since Christianity is only about 2000 years old, we don't have much wiggle room.

    -Satan is released and naturally goes right to waging armageddon (why the hell were preparations done 1000 years ago?)
    - Satan loses armageddon.
    - J-day.

     

    <font size="7">tldr:</font>
    In order to meet our deadline of May 21, 2011, we must, at a minimum:
    - Destroy 1/3rd of everything
    - Form an army of 200 million and kill off a third of the planet's population
    - Have some bizarre encounters with sea and land beasts - and wind up worshipping the sea-beast.
    - Have all the water on the planet turn to blood and kill all sea-life
    - Have the sun incinerate the planet
    - Have a literally earth-shattering earthquake
    - Find a Babylon and collapse it (we can use the US)
    - Be ruled by Jesus Christ himself for 1000 solid years

    We have 6 weeks to do it. Lets roll.



  • Seriously, I can't believe you a) researched this, and b) typed it, and c) typed a summary of it.


  • Garbage Person

    a) Boredom
    b) Serious boredom
    c) Well, I'm already here, and that's a giant wall of text. So I may as well add a tldr.

    I do have stuff to do, but I spent my entire day ripping out a Jeep transmission filled with mud and don't feel like moving or thinking.



  • @Weng said:

    a) Boredom
    b) Serious boredom
    c) Well, I'm already here, and that's a giant wall of text. So I may as well add a tldr.

    I do have stuff to do, but I spent my entire day ripping out a Jeep transmission filled with mud and don't feel like moving or thinking.

    Pro-tip: Blood Bowl Ultimate Edition is $10 on Steam right now. Your time would have been MUCH better spent playing psuedo-football with a team of lizardmen against skeletons. And it's a complete waste of time.



  • @Weng said:

    Okay. So the last time I read Revelations, there was a whole bunch of shit that totally had to happen before judgement day.
     

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

     



  • @da Doctah said:

    @Weng said:

    Okay. So the last time I read Revelations, there was a whole bunch of shit that totally had to happen before judgement day.
     

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

     

    Post of the fucking millennium.



  • @da Doctah said:

    @Weng said:

    Okay. So the last time I read Revelations, there was a whole bunch of shit that totally had to happen before judgement day.
     

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

     

    BRILLANT!

    And about the book of Revelation, there's also the theory that everything in that book, up to chapter 19, has already been fulfilled, and that it's all a symbolical description the horrible reign of Nero. For example, "calling fire from the sky, being worshiped", Nero was called the Sun God, and he would light his parties by burning Christians on stakes.



  • @da Doctah said:

    @Weng said:

    Okay. So the last time I read Revelations, there was a whole bunch of shit that totally had to happen before judgement day.
     

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

     

    See, Weng, if you had posted this, everybody would love you. But nooo, instead of comedy we get lectures.


  • Garbage Person

    @da Doctah said:

  • he has golden skin
  • he has horns
  • he can call down fire from the sky
  • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
  • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language
  • I dunno. All of that reeks of a New Jerseyian with an orbital laser cannon.


  •  If all this crap is predestined anyway, why does God or Satan or anybody else care what anybody does now with regard to it?  It won't change the ultimate outcome, anyway.



  • @dtobias said:

     If all this crap is predestined anyway, why does God or Satan or anybody else care what anybody does now with regard to it?  It won't change the ultimate outcome, anyway.

    I had that conversation with my friend after showing him that site. We both agreed that its biggest weakness of lack of a clear Call To Action. (There's one buried deep in the FAQ, if you bother clicking through.) Crazy religious guy should hire our consultants, we could sort that website right out for him.

    Also, I just noticed that all the streetlights and telephone poles in my hometown are leaning at some funky angle... WTF.



  • @dtobias said:

    If all this crap is predestined anyway, why does God or Satan or anybody else care what anybody does now with regard to it?  It won't change the ultimate outcome, anyway.

    Predestined doesn't mean constrained, however. If a professional league sports team played against a high school team, the outcome would be obvious. Yet sometimes it doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you play the game. Why is that important? Both good code and wtf code can compute the same result, but you wouldn't want to maintain wtf code for eternity.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Weng said:

    a) Boredom
    b) Serious boredom
    c) Well, I'm already here, and that's a giant wall of text. So I may as well add a tldr.

    I do have stuff to do, but I spent my entire day ripping out a Jeep transmission filled with mud and don't feel like moving or thinking.

    Pro-tip: Blood Bowl Ultimate Edition is $10 on Steam right now. Your time would have been MUCH better spent playing psuedo-football with a team of lizardmen against skeletons. And it's a complete waste of time.

    Pro-tip: If you want to play against the computer, BB:UE is all well and good, but the code is such utter crap that there is a tool you can find that will tell you what dice rolls are coming up.  Online play is thus not really much of an option.  fumbbl.com is a great site to play MP at, however.



  • @El_Heffe said:

     Well crap.  I've got vacation scheduled for the beginning of June.

    HA HA sucker!  I'm taking mine in April. :-)~

    MArk B.



  • @Sutherlands said:

    Pro-tip: If you want to play against the computer, BB:UE is all well and good, but the code is such utter crap that there is a tool you can find that will tell you what dice rolls are coming up.  Online play is thus not really much of an option.  fumbbl.com is a great site to play MP at, however.

    I don't give a shit about multi. I just want to do a full season with my skaven without having too many of them killed by ogres, is that too much to ask!? It's actually pretty incredible, how attached you get to your stupid randomly-generated little rat-men players. Especially the gutter runners, who basically are the team.

    The AI dice rolling may be shit, but it's smart enough to know to take out my gutter runners first every. fucking. time.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Sutherlands said:
    Pro-tip: If you want to play against the computer, BB:UE is all well and good, but the code is such utter crap that there is a tool you can find that will tell you what dice rolls are coming up.  Online play is thus not really much of an option.  fumbbl.com is a great site to play MP at, however.
    I don't give a shit about multi. I just want to do a full season with my skaven without having too many of them killed by ogres, is that too much to ask!? It's actually pretty incredible, how attached you get to your stupid randomly-generated little rat-men players. Especially the gutter runners, who basically *are* the team.

    The AI dice rolling may be shit, but it's smart enough to know to take out my gutter runners first every. fucking. time.

    That's why you always play dwarves or orcs or something, so you can absolutely destroy the computer.  Muahahahaha.

    I played the original version, not the "Ultimate Edition" which was basically the same with some new races?  Is the AI any better?  Once you get the hang of it, even letting the AI score on you is bad.



  • Weng: Fucking serious shit man, you fucking genius. Publish properly.



  • @SteamBoat said:

    @El_Heffe said:

     Well crap.  I've got vacation scheduled for the beginning of June.

    HA HA sucker!  I'm taking mine in April. :-)~

    MArk B.

    Most of Britain will be taking a nice long vacation at the end of April, courtesy of some rich influential kid getting hitched around then. Obviously wanted to get his honeymoon in before the Big Day. Not even his grandmother can stop a full-on Irish snog of an apocalypse.



  • @Sutherlands said:

    That's why you always play dwarves or orcs or something, so you can absolutely destroy the computer.  Muahahahaha.

    Fuck that, I love my little rat dudes.

    @Sutherlands said:

    I played the original version, not the "Ultimate Edition" which was basically the same with some new races?

    Yes, BUT they've fixed a lot of quirks of the UI. (Unfortunately, it's still buggy*-- but it's a lot more usable at least, and the pre-game shit doesn't take ages like it did before.) Oh they also added some new inducements you can buy. And a new "Story" mode, where you take control of various different teams, but I haven't played that at all.

    IMO, it's worth the upgrade, at least as long as it's $10 on Steam. Unless you're sick of the game, in which case don't bother.

    Pro-tip: when you arrange your players, then save the arrangement with the same name of an built-in one ("Zulu" in my case), it *will* crash when you try to reload the saved arrangement. There appears to be no way to remove yours from the list, either. (Although fortunately you can still use the built-in "Zulu".) The game saves data in .db files, which makes me wonder if it's using SQLite, but I've been too lazy to try opening up the .db files to check.

    @Sutherlands said:

    Is the AI any better?

    Not that I can tell. It's still slow, too-- it still does that annoying thing where it takes 10-12 seconds to make a move, even though it ends up making a bone-headed move. (My favorite: the ogre picked up the goblin with the ball, then threw it exactly ONE square. WTF was the point of that, AI?)

    I get the impression that instead of making a simple decision tree, they tried to make the AI more "intelligent" and it didn't quite work out.

    @Sutherlands said:

    Once you get the hang of it, even letting the AI score on you is bad.

    My first team was Chaos, and I was killing the AI, once I learned the rules. Skaven is much more challenging.



  • @da Doctah said:

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

    But Pikachu can't learn any Fire attacks... not to mention that he doesn't have horns.



  • @Spectre said:

    @da Doctah said:

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

    But Pikachu can't learn any Fire attacks... not to mention that he doesn't have horns.

     

    You have to make allowances for the limited experience of the observer (in this case, St John) and for a couple of millennia worth of sometimes dodgy translation.  He has pointy things on his head that might be perceived as horns.  And whatever those blasts of his are made of, "fire" may be the nearest familiar phenomenon.



  • @da Doctah said:

    @Spectre said:

    @da Doctah said:

    I wanted to check what Revelation (singular!) had to say about The Beast, he whose number is 666.  Instead of hearing it from a bunch of latter-day nutjobs, I read up the original description and came away with the following points:

    • he has golden skin
    • he has horns
    • he can call down fire from the sky
    • people will worship him for his ability to call down fire from the sky
    • and there was something about him speaking in unearthly language

    Behold, ye unbelievers, the Beast of the Apocalypse!

    But Pikachu can't learn any Fire attacks... not to mention that he doesn't have horns.

     

    You have to make allowances for the limited experience of the observer (in this case, St John) and for a couple of millennia worth of sometimes dodgy translation.  He has pointy things on his head that might be perceived as horns.  And whatever those blasts of his are made of, "fire" may be the nearest familiar phenomenon.

    Plus it was a joke.


  • Garbage Person

    @da Doctah said:

    You have to make allowances for the limited experience of the observer (in this case, St John) and for a couple of millennia worth of sometimes dodgy translation.  He has pointy things on his head that might be perceived as horns.  And whatever those blasts of his are made of, "fire" may be the nearest familiar phenomenon.
    I'm pretty sure that lightning has been a familiar phenomenon FOREVER.



  • Flame me all you want, but did anyone check Google Earth recently and look at the south pole? I dunno what's going on there, but a bright circle of light at least 1000 miles across, with a ray pointing out toward Japan... that looks suspicious if anything ever did!



  • @ekolis said:

    Flame me all you want, but did anyone check Google Earth recently and look at the south pole? I dunno what's going on there, but a bright circle of light at least 1000 miles across, with a ray pointing out toward Japan... that looks suspicious if anything ever did!

    Aurora...? If not, pics please.



  • @ekolis said:

    Flame me all you want, but did anyone check Google Earth recently and look at the south pole? I dunno what's going on there, but a bright circle of light at least 1000 miles across, with a ray pointing out toward Japan... that looks suspicious if anything ever did!

    Are you special conspiracy theory master?



  • @ekolis said:

    Flame me all you want, but did anyone check Google Earth recently and look at the south pole? I dunno what's going on there, but a bright circle of light at least 1000 miles across, with a ray pointing out toward Japan...

    Implying... what?

    Google doesn't have flyover imagery of parts of the south pole! Everybody panic!



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Google doesn't have flyover imagery of parts of the south pole! Everybody panic!

    Oh, is that the joke? Maybe I should have installed Google Earth, then I could have played along. Oh well, next time.



  • @Xyro said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    Google doesn't have flyover imagery of parts of the south pole! Everybody panic!

    Oh, is that the joke? Maybe I should have installed Google Earth, then I could have played along. Oh well, next time.

    I don't have it installed, either. I just need ekolis to explain the significance of his little revelation there.

    For all I know, he's a loon who thinks Google Earth is a live camera feed, and there's a Lost-esque smoke monster attacking Japan.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Xyro said:
    @blakeyrat said:
    Google doesn't have flyover imagery of parts of the south pole! Everybody panic!

    Oh, is that the joke? Maybe I should have installed Google Earth, then I could have played along. Oh well, next time.

    I don't have it installed, either. I just need ekolis to explain the significance of his little revelation there.

    For all I know, he's a loon who thinks Google Earth is a live camera feed, and there's a Lost-esque smoke monster attacking Japan.

    My gut says it is a reference to some jrpg or anime.


  • I think it would be pretty clear if we're witnessing a Second Impact event. Unless it's in slow motion. That would be pretty wild.



  • @Xyro said:

    I think it would be pretty clear if we're witnessing a Second Impact event. Unless it's in slow motion. That would be pretty wild.

    I think we would have noticed the First Impact first.

    Anyhow, the world end up very fucked up everywhere you go in that series so it doesn't matter if you are away from Japan or not.



  • @serguey123 said:

    Filed under: Asuka+Rei FTW

    Sōryū Asuka Langley isn't a German name. WTF were they thinking?



  • @derula said:

    @serguey123 said:
    Filed under: Asuka+Rei FTW
    Sōryū Asuka Langley isn't a German name. WTF were they thinking?

    I think she was a half, not that this is a proper excuse.  Japanese people that make anime/manga have at best a thin grasp of reality. 

    Hoping that everything make sense is impossible.



  • @serguey123 said:

    @derula said:

    @serguey123 said:
    Filed under: Asuka+Rei FTW
    Sōryū Asuka Langley isn't a German name. WTF were they thinking?

    I think she was a half

    She talked to her mother on the phone once in... "German", so I guess her father would have to be from an English-speaking country for the last name to make sense, and then she'd have to be born in Japan to explain the other names (...and her horrible German skills. They're almost worse than those of Jack Bauer. Haha no, not that bad. Oh god, that was horrible. I like it how the other person responded to him with "you have an American accent"... NO WAY! If not for the subtitles, I wouldn't have understood a word of what he was trying to say! Come on, mister Sutherland, you could have tried a bit harder than that!)


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